Desert Strawberry Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 If you remember my post from September when I was sure I sending Aries to school because he has just been a terrible homeschooler for years, this is the follow up. He did NOT want to go to school. He values his free time. He doesn't like sitting and generally wants to do his own thing. School would seriously crimp his style (6 hours a day, LOTS of chair time, plus a 2 hour bus ride, and early bedtime/wakeup=serious loss of freedom). I called his bluff. If he wasn't invested, wasn't willing to put even minimal effort into his schooling, we would be forced to find an alternative. I have catered to his wishes for years. It seems the easier I tried to make it, the less effort he put in. I stopped. I told him that if he really wanted to be here, he would have to work HARD to prove it. I raised the bar a lot. Not only has he met every expectation, he has surpassed all of them. He gets right to work almost every morning. He never complains. He finishes his work in a timely fashion. He understands everything, produces quality work and is proud of his accomplishments. He is giving me input on curriculum choices for the first time ever ( he never cared before. He'd do whatever I put in front of him, but he wouldn't give it much attention. Just enough to fill in the blanks and move on). He is finishing up the work I had already given him that he was dragging out so badly. We just doubled his lessons so that we can be in ONE WEEK! Not a single complaint about the work load. Just pride and excitement at his progress. We are planning the rest of his year. He has will work quickly through LOF and will use a workbook/workbooks as a supplement while doing independent study. I can't even believe this is the same kid. He is so helpful and responsible. I really, truly did not know he had it in him. He is amazing me. I am reassured that he values his family and our time together so much that he is willing to work this hard to maintain it. He has also been so much better about personal responsibilities. He gets dressed, manages his personal hygiene, cleans up after himself, makes breakfast, does some light cooking, helps with his siblings. We just adopted my dad's two small dogs. Aries does the bulk of their care. He LOVES dogs. This is going to be huge for him. He isn't perfect, and still needs reminders and such, but the overall improvement is astounding. 41 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoo Keeper Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 This homeschool thing is not a walk in the park, neither is the whole parenting bit. Points to both of you for stepping up to the challenge. :001_smile: :001_smile: :001_smile: :001_smile: You've made my day, Strawberry. (and give me hope with one of mine.... :willy_nilly: ) . 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: That is SO awesome! And a great reminder that sometimes they need more challenge not less. (Not that that was the only thing you did, of course!) 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aiden Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 Yay! I'm glad things are so much better. (I can't figure out emoticons on my iPad, but picture a big party going on here.) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 Most excellent! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 Oh, I'm so glad! Good call Mama! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Strawberry Posted November 14, 2015 Author Share Posted November 14, 2015 Just to add a little bit more detail, he went to camp for two weeks, then worked his butt off as soon as it was over. I even had him do school work on his days off. My dad died suddenly, so we spent a week and some change in Cali. So really, he did all of this in 3 or four weeks. He's been so solid, even with all the breaks and chaos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckymama Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 Desert Strawberry, so sorry about the loss of your dad :grouphug: I lost mine suddenly four years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamiof5 Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 So sorry about your dad!!! :( But so very happy about your son, that's just awesome! :) Hope everything keeps going well, or better! And I am sure he's not perfect (who is?), but what an amazing turn around! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted November 16, 2015 Share Posted November 16, 2015 That's wonderful! :hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abba12 Posted November 16, 2015 Share Posted November 16, 2015 I am SO glad to hear that it's working out, and that setting out expectations, placing the responsibility on him, instead of catering to him has had such a huge impact. Some kids just need to be given responsibility and a chance to step up. You see it less in young kids since there's less opportunities, but It's amazing how many lost and misbehaving teenagers suddenly change, completely, when they find a purpose and responsibility (like a real job). And while he initially made the change in order to avoid having to go to school, I bet he's seeing the difference, how much faster his work happens, how much happier everyone, including himself, is. That is probably what will keep up the momentum now. You're doing a great job! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Strawberry Posted November 16, 2015 Author Share Posted November 16, 2015 I am SO glad to hear that it's working out, and that setting out expectations, placing the responsibility on him, instead of catering to him has had such a huge impact. Some kids just need to be given responsibility and a chance to step up. You see it less in young kids since there's less opportunities, but It's amazing how many lost and misbehaving teenagers suddenly change, completely, when they find a purpose and responsibility (like a real job). And while he initially made the change in order to avoid having to go to school, I bet he's seeing the difference, how much faster his work happens, how much happier everyone, including himself, is. That is probably what will keep up the momentum now. You're doing a great job! Yes. Exactly. I'm a huge believer that my children (all children) own their education, and should have responsibility for it. I'm not sure where the disconnect happened with him, but he just didn't see it that way. I'm sure a lot of this is maturity. He's much younger than his years. But some of it was hard facts and outside confirmation. Losing some of his complacency helped for sure. He basically told me that if he's going to school, he's going to work hard to prepare himself so he's ready when he gets there. I think I haven't yet told him that I've decided to keep him home. Oops :) I have told him that I am impressed with his progress and proud of his accomplishments. Momentum is definitely on his side. I do think he finally really understands that getting down to business is preferable to dawdling. And now that he's able to complete large chunks of work, he can SEE his progress. It's not just a never ending series of little tasks. One surprise for me is that he prefers to study a small amount of many subjects rather than a larger portion of a few. Sagg and I prefer the latter, which explains some of the blow back I've been getting from him. Not all, but some. I suppose I should have seen that coming, because of his short attention span, but he sited difficulty transitioning from one subject to another after a break. He would prefer more consistency and doesn't mind following many subjects at once. For instance, he wants to read a science book, a history book, a literature book and a light fiction book, each for 20 minutes, rather than just one for an hour. That would be so much harder to me, but that's his preference. I'm so glad he's finally willing to tell me things like that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted November 16, 2015 Share Posted November 16, 2015 My dd does that with stacked subjects of a similar type. I think it's because there isn't a transition. To us it's all different subjects, but to them it's just I sat down and read for an hour. Congrats on the attitude change, wow! If he's motivated by outside accountability like that, maybe it's time for a mentor or some work or something? Then that person could speak into him expectations of I hope you're doing your work because you need it for this stuff we're doing... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted November 16, 2015 Share Posted November 16, 2015 I'm so glad to read how well it is going now. I agree with OhE perhaps some outside accountability might be good for the long term- a mentor in an area of interest would be a great motivation I think (really for most any kid). I also wanted to say that even if you had put him in school you would not be a quitter, changing stream because you decide something else might work better does not make one a quitter :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaz Posted November 16, 2015 Share Posted November 16, 2015 :hurray: Sounds like you handled that beautifully! Congrats! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RootAnn Posted November 16, 2015 Share Posted November 16, 2015 My dad died suddenly :grouphug: Many hugs on this. :hurray: On Sagg's turnaround. Keep a copy of your post here for those hard days that will eventually come. Remember how far he's come & how well he does on his good days! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desertflower Posted November 17, 2015 Share Posted November 17, 2015 So sorry to hear about your dad. I'm glad that your son is doing great. :) It seems like you guys made the right decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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