It's 4:49 P.M. and noon was our goal to be done! How do you handle a BAD, BAD DAY??

[Alaska Mom]

AGGGHHH....I'm exhausted. I actually threatened (more than once), that I was going to call "public school" so dd6 could see what the other kids were having to do in first grade...does that make me a bad hs mom???

 

All day long it was start and stop, start and stop, start and take a break, start and stop. I'm so exhausted. How do you all handle a bad, really bad day? I think I was just tired today to begin with and that set up for a bad day.

 

Last week went so amazing, it was fun, exciting, met most of my goals. But today, wow. We are doing first grade and it's supposed to be fun and short; today was neither. We were both in tears (or nearly) for most of the day. My ds3 surely wasn't helping matters either. Is this normal for the start up...to have bad days that aren't just bad, but that are REALLY, REALLY bad? What do you do? I didn't want to back down and set a precedent by saying ..."well, it's a bad day, lets just play today"....especially after having a weekend off. But I really think maybe should have done that.....???

 

Any of you seasoned pros have any advice?

[Sandy in Indy]

I probably would have called it a day around noon...but then, I have little tolerance for long, drawn-out, unhappy days! Take a long, hot bubble bath. Sleep well. Try again tomorrow.

 

:grouphug:

[Alaska Mom]

I have one more thing to do...we're now heading out into the rain to dig worms for our worm farm (dd6 is insisting now that we "MUST finish our day"). I'm seriously going to skip dinner when dh gets home and go straight for the tub and to bed.....thanks for listening. :mellow:

[Lizzie in Ma]

I hope tomorrow is better.

[sheryl]

Yes, I had the same experience with my daughter when she was in 1st/2nd grade. She just started 4th grade and things are much better.

 

I truly believe it depends on several factors: sleep/rest, activity, homeschool schedule chart, and so on. For the younger kids, I would call it a day around 11. They don't need much in 1st and 2nd grade.

 

I believe kids are getting used to conforming to a schedule of any kind at that age. And, in the next year or two they will get the hang of expectations.

 

When my daughter started to read that opened up a new world to her. Now, in 4th grade she does alot of work on her own/independent. The older they get the more independent the studey becomes.

 

HANG IN THERE!

 

I remember tellling my dd that I'd take her to the p.s., but never did.

 

Oh yes, the memories....

 

Just relax and spend time outside "learning". HTH. Sheryl

[Zelda]

I've only been at it a year but I've had more days like this than I care to admit or remember. I'm like you, I can't walk away from it.

 

Its much better now. Hang in there.

[Plucky]

What is your dd doing all day? She's 6. I think we did an hour of table time at that age not including read alouds. Your curriculum list doesn't look long. Are you breaking the lessons down into small chunks?

[chickenpatty]

We have days like this sometimes, for no apparent reason. :001_huh: And, it is my 6yr old who is particularly susceptible to them. Usually, if it's not too terribly bad, we plow ahead or else lower our (my) expectations for the day and hope for a better tomorrow. :001_smile:

 

:grouphug:

 

Enjoy your bath & know that tomorrow can only be better!

[kalanamak]

I'm not a grizzled old hand, but I have a six year old. If the usual ("the longer you dawdle, the longer we'll be here") doesn't work, and I'm getting "attitude", I get mock serious/stern (it looks real) and tell him to go to his room and come out when he is ready to concentrate. This puts the decision in his hand. He usually comes out sunny in less than 15 minutes.

 

If this is back firing, I check his temp. Sometimes he's sick.

 

I've never been moved to tears, but if I was getting close, I'd take a time out myself and REALLY work to get that in line, so as to present cool calm serious to kiddo. If this is really a rarity, I think I'd go to the park.

 

The wind goes out of my sails when I get ready to build on something he did perfectly the last two days and now he looks at it like he's never seen it before. AWWWGH!

[Heather in the Kootenays]

Tomorrow is another day. :grouphug:

[missplacedalaskan]

I think we have all BTDT at least once. You described many of our days when Dd #1 was 6. It was so frustrating, but I had to plod through it to the finish. Dd had to learn the value of her time & a job well done. She is now 16 and realizes that school is her "job"...the "ball" is in her court.

 

I hope tomorrow is much better for you. :grouphug:

[Lolly]

AGGGHHH....I'm exhausted. I actually threatened (more than once), that I was going to call "public school" so dd6 could see what the other kids were having to do in first grade...does that make me a bad hs mom???

 

All day long it was start and stop, start and stop, start and take a break, start and stop. I'm so exhausted. How do you all handle a bad, really bad day? I think I was just tired today to begin with and that set up for a bad day.

 

Last week went so amazing, it was fun, exciting, met most of my goals. But today, wow. We are doing first grade and it's supposed to be fun and short; today was neither. We were both in tears (or nearly) for most of the day. My ds3 surely wasn't helping matters either. Is this normal for the start up...to have bad days that aren't just bad, but that are REALLY, REALLY bad? What do you do? I didn't want to back down and set a precedent by saying ..."well, it's a bad day, lets just play today"....especially after having a weekend off. But I really think maybe should have done that.....???

 

Any of you seasoned pros have any advice?

I'm afraid I would have taken the rest of the day off or turned it into a read aloud day. Maybe set an exceptionally easy goal, maybe finishing 3 more math problems or finishing a small set of words, and give a prize of a fun activity. Perhaps it is time for PE? It is okay to take anice break when things are really going poorly. In my house, there usually turns out to be some reason for the bad day. I just don't find out what it is until it is over.

[Camy-7 boybarians 1 lady]

I've lost count at how many bad days we've had throughout the homeschooling process (11 years). As a matter of a fact, we have had bad months!

 

For me, it's prayer and Bible reading that ground me and give me strength (actually, it's God's grace).

 

Keep at it, Momma. Perhaps you should have some ice cream for breakfast with your children tomorrow. That would start the day off nicely, don't you think?

 

Also, try to figure out what went wrong on the bad days, and if it is possible, avoid those scenarios in the future. This isn't always possible, however.

 

Blessings,

 

Camy (who is having a bad day everyday right now....early pregnancy...gag...yawwwwn..if you kwim)

[EKS]

I never back down, at least not so the kid will notice. We *always* end when I say it's time. *Never* because the kid wants to. I might reduce what I had planned but I don't let the kid know.

[Mom to Aly]

You're scaring me, because you sound like me. I remember being hysterical, calling one of my friends one day when my dd was 6, sobbing (me, not dd), telling her math had taken 2 & 1/2 hours--she said, "How could it?". I answered, "Well, she was fine up till about page 10, but then it all went downhill!". There was silence on the phone, then she asked, "How many pages of work did she do?", and I answered, "14.", and she let me have it! My dd was so good at math, I just kept adding pages each day, thinking, why not? If she can do it, I should just keep adding more. I have the feeling you are doing this?

 

I learned quickly more is not better. My dd HATED math after that--it has taken her until this year to realize she is a natural and loves it, all because of what I did to her. She is years ahead in everything except math, because she so fought me on it after that! I still tried to get everything I thought should be done accomplished each day that year--not that many pages of math, but all the subjects. It was our worst year.

 

The next year I started the method we now use, and it has worked so well for us. My dd has to "earn" time off. I told her, years ago, that doing a extra "main" subject, math, history, science, English, each day of the week, would earn her one free day at the end of the week. I keep a chart, and she builds them up. Then when something special, like the State Fair, or Halloween, rolls around, she can use one of those days. It works wonders! Or, she can save them up and take them when she doesn't feel like doing school--if she wants a day to play or read, a day to go to the park, or something like that. It is the best thing I've ever done with her. But, she has to do all her subjects within a given amount of time, and NOT piddle around, wasting my time or hers. If she doesn't finish school one day, when we have started, due to piddling or bad attitude, unless she is ill, she loses two free days she earned, or half days, depending on how much she has accomplished--so she has to be careful!!

 

This has worked really well for us--I highly recommend it!

[Guest janainaz]

I used to get all stressed with our bad days. I have an 8 and 3 year old. I have many days that don't go as planned and I finally surrendered. That is just LIFE. Some days are good, some are bad. At the end of the day I would be beating myself up for not doing a "better" job and in turn be stressing out my kid(s). Now, I just hug my son (the one actually being taught right now) and laugh - like others said - tomorrow is a new day.

 

Let's just say it helps them prepare for real life bad days and how you handle it can be a huge lesson in and of itself!!

[Starr]

I shore up those days or go play outside for a while and try again. :grouphug:

[swellmomma]

must be something in the air. My kids were terrible today and honestly we were still doing school until 10pm tonight (we had gone for a walk after supper though) because the kids did nothing but fight and tantrum all day during school hours. I not only threatened t send them to ps, but to swiss boarding school, sell them to the gypsies,and run away from home. It was a very hard day. My oldest has meltdowns on occasion due to his issues, his meltdowns include punching me, running away etc. So that was happening. My DD is full of attitude lately and keeps shrieking at my 5 yr old and taunting him so then he is crying, shrieking back, tattling etc. All this yelling/crying gets the baby going so then she is screaming too. And basically drives me up the flipping wall. Today was a day I wished I still drank. On the plus side at 10 pm it was time for prison break, and I sent all the kids off to bed with a stern warning that if I heard one peep that took me away from the show they will not live to see morning. All 4 were out cold in 2 minutes flat (it's a new record, my older 2 are notoriously hard to get to sleep due to their adhd).

 

I do not give in to their nonsense and make it a play day, or lighten the load too much. At 9 & 10 years old they can do the work assigned, tantrums and fighting do not make me quit. What irks me even more about it is I do not assign boats laods of work, I assign things like 1 page in math, 2 pages in phonics, 1 page in english wkbk, then we do things like history, science and art together so it is not like they are being forced to everything on their own. TOday my Ds's first melt down was because he had to write 1 core sentence and 5 questions from writing strands exercise 2. NOt a hard task, yet it took almost 3 hours. The next meltdown was because it was time for spanish, all he has to do is follow along with the cd and repeat what it says, it takes 10 minutes, he wanted to play on the new wii instead. That was almost a 2 hour meltdown that invovled him punching me in the stomach. I refuse to back down, there is no way I will let them manipulate the situation (it is a manipulation that goes with ds's ODD and dd's CD)

 

I do know tomorrow is a new day and is had better be a better one, or I am locking myself in a padded cell for a while.

[sassenach]

(((HUGS)))) Yep, some days are just bad.

 

You might want to think through how you'd like to handle these types of days in the future. For my 6th grader, 3pm is my limit. Whatever we have or haven't done, we stop at 3. For my 6yo, whatever seatwork we can't get done in an hour, doesn't get done. You're better off just quitting and resetting for the next day rather than pushing through a really bad day.

 

I think you'll be amazed how one day can be horrible and the next will be great. If it makes you feel any better, Thursday of last week we quit at noon because the day was so horrid. I try not to do that often, but it can help just to let a really bad day go. Friday was extremely productive and we made up for all of the work we didn't finish Thursday, plus Friday's normal load.

 

The sun'll come out, tomorrow......

[Amy in Orlando]

Grizzled old mom here - lighten up! She's six! your little one is, well, little. Have fun. You have years and years and year ahead of you. I promise.

[imeverywoman]

Give her only a specified amount of time to complete her lessons. Make them short and sweet, ending on a high note which will draw her back tomorrow.

 

Please know you are not alone. We went through the same thing with dd10 and are now at the place where school is not so difficult.

 

Hang in there...

[ChemMommy]

Today was just an off day!

 

Sometimes it helps to call it quits and start fresh tomorrow.

 

Sometimes it helps to call a MAJOR break and agree to meet back for school at a particular time in a couple of hours.

 

Sometimes, a younger child is just in the process of discovering that school is also WORK and it is an unpleasant realization. You can talk about their expectations for school and see if that helps. My kids all thought that learning should always be fun and game-like! Ha! They'd never met the homeschooling nazi! :001_smile:

 

And sometimes, nothing really helps for several days and you just have to persevere!

 

With a 1st grader, if we were still doing school at dinner time, I would wonder if I wasn't over-scheduling them. Can you hold off on science or art until they've been in school a few more weeks, for example? If a child is overwhelmed by school, they won't work efficiently. I also have the tendency to over plan our school year and push too hard.

 

On the other hand, if you sense that this is a character issue, you should stop and work on the issue so that, in the future, you'll have better days. This is definitely a pay-it-forward kind of thing. You don't want to be working on character issues in high school!!!

 

I "dismissed" a stubborn, non-working child from school at one point in our journey and continued to school the other kids. Said child was not allowed to be in the school room but could do anything he/she wanted for the entire day. The child was not allowed to listen in to read-alouds since that was school, either!

 

Said child was more than ready to apologize for his/her behavior the next day or the day after (I forget) and return to school. I'm not particularly proud of this "discipline", but the child in question did discover for its own that school work, even if it's work, can be more enjoyable than moping around the house and playing alone!

 

Oh, and my kids were GRIPING about school loads yesterday! So, don't think that everyone else has perfect school days!!!!!

 

 

We are up to full speed on TOG and they were NOT happy with this mommy for piling the school work on. Not a bit! Not a millibit. Not a microbit!

 

And they wanted all kinds of breaks from their "tremendous" workload. I spent the day pulling the new kittens from their arms and putting pencils back into their hands. OH, and repeating to them, "Yes, it's a lot of work and we are still going to do it!" We finished at 3pm and headed to the park as a reward. I accomplished NOTHING except herding kids back to school, but it did get done! I was exhausted yesterday and went to bed at 8:45pm.

 

And, here's the bad news: I've got to do it all again today! Give me strength, God! I wish I could get a break from the work load! Maybe I'll go pet a kitten!