Down-sizing to Community College

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

Oldest DS was accepted to a state school last December under early admission. We were excited for him and we're able to gather enough funds to pay his tuition. He wanted to live on campus, so he had to take on a small loan and do work study.

 

It all seemed to be going well. Graduation announcements went out mentioning his plans, dorm supplies were procured, and deposits were paid.

 

Fast forward to orientation (last week). DS didn't seem over enthused and I just attributed it to nerves. He's not one to buy college wear or learn the college song, ykwim? However, I thought he'd warm up sooner or later.

 

Anyway, He called me during lunch to report that he may not be able to take any of his Comp Sci courses if he didn't place into Calc right away. I know I should have been on top of this. He fell into a state of dispair. I was at my mom's co do nearby, so I picked him up and researched the school's online site and found a sample schedule for students that are behind in math. He seemed relieved. He went back to orientation the next day and then we went home.

 

On Wednesday, we went back to campus (it's 50 minutes in good traffic), and he took the math placement. Missed getting into the class by one question. I told him he could retake it in a week and not to panic. On the way out of the building, he turns to me and says, " Can I just go to community college and transfer?"

 

So, today he applied at the local community college. Fortunately, they have transfer agreement with the college he was accepted to. It will probably add another year to his plans. Monday we will go to the college and see the registrar and formally withdrawl.

 

I am so disappointed. I know some of it is about me, I never had the opportunity to go to a four year school and I was pretty pumped about him going. I'm trying to let it go and remind myself that this is just a bump in the road on his journey.

 

I know there are other moms here struggling with so much more, I feel like a whiner. I just needed to vent somewhere safe.

[JanetC]

I think deciding when to push a nervous child to go through with a new challenge and when to let them step back and regroup is one of the hardest parenting challenges out there. All we can do is listen to our guts and hope for the best. Taking a year to make sure he's solid in math is something that can really pay off in the long run, though.

 

Hugs to you and good luck to your son.

[gingersmom]

Hugs to you.

 

I say kudos to your son for making a tough decision. I wish my parents had listened to me instead of pushing me into something I was not ready for.

 

He's going to do great no matter what path he takes.

[Lori D.]

:grouphug:  :grouphug: It is always difficult when something really big that you've been planning for and looking forward to for months ends up getting changed at the last moment.

 

 

Give yourself a little time to grieve the loss of your expectations and plan.

 

And then get ready to be excited about all the amazing adventures your DS is going to have in this new and unexpected opportunity! :) What a great attitude your DS has, and what a great head on his shoulders to see what's best for himself! :)

 

 

Just want to encourage you that going to the CC and then transferring to a 4-year university can be a fabulous experience. That's what DS#1 has done, and it really has maximized his success and enjoyment of college! :) DS earned his AAS while taking his gen. ed. credits at the CC. He had such a high GPA that he earned scholarships that covered most of his CC tuition -- AND, earned him the highest transfer scholarship possible to the 4-year university. He is having a great time coming into the 4-year university as an older student (junior), and has a lot more maturity, self-discipline, and study skills than the freshman students who are having to not only learn how to "do" college, but having to juggle being on their own (so many lose their heads that first semester or first year with all the freedom), AND actually learn stuff. ;) It has meant he got to go straight into upper division courses of high interest to him. And that high GPA from the CC allowed DS to go into the Honor's Program at the 4-year university, which has special opportunities. While he's enjoying living on campus, there are also downsides, which will be minimized by DS only having to live on campus for 2 years instead of 4 years.

 

Living at home and going to the CC gives your DS the ability to earn an AAS, to have a part time job so he might not end up needing any loans (or only need much lower loans), and to explore some internships and hands-on opportunities in his degree area of interest that he might not have had time for with also living on campus and having to do all of the on-your-own-living things at the same time.

 

Also, at he will likely have more classes taught by skilled instructors (rather than so many of the lower division courses at state universities taught by grad students who are not always skilled as teachers). There will still be campus life things to check out at the CC -- intramural sports, theater shows, concerts, campus clubs, etc. And if he earns a good GPA, he'll be invited to join Phi Theta Kappa, the 2-year school Honor's Society -- do join (there's a  one-time, life-time fee of about $90), as they have special honor student transfer scholarships he can apply for

 

BEST wishes for DS AND for you in his freshman year at college at the CC! It's going to be great! :) Warmest regards, Lori D.

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

Thank you all so much for the encouraging words. My son seems pretty excited about the new plan. He really wants to work part-time and avoid debt. The CC has been very helpful already and we are registering for classes tomorrow.

 

It softens the blow to see him happy and relaxed with moving forward.

 

Lori, I really appreciate the time you took to share your son's journey. You have given me plenty to be positive about. Thank you so much.

 

 

K

[Reefgazer]

On the bright side, your total tuition bill for all 4 years should be substantially lower.  There are all sorts of paths to a degree and your DS seems mature enough to know what he needs and I bet he'll be fine. 

Oldest DS was accepted to a state school last December under early admission. We were excited for him and we're able to gather enough funds to pay his tuition. He wanted to live on campus, so he had to take on a small loan and do work study.

It all seemed to be going well. Graduation announcements went out mentioning his plans, dorm supplies were procured, and deposits were paid.

Fast forward to orientation (last week). DS didn't seem over enthused and I just attributed it to nerves. He's not one to buy college wear or learn the college song, ykwim? However, I thought he'd warm up sooner or later.

Anyway, He called me during lunch to report that he may not be able to take any of his Comp Sci courses if he didn't place into Calc right away. I know I should have been on top of this. He fell into a state of dispair. I was at my mom's co do nearby, so I picked him up and researched the school's online site and found a sample schedule for students that are behind in math. He seemed relieved. He went back to orientation the next day and then we went home.

On Wednesday, we went back to campus (it's 50 minutes in good traffic), and he took the math placement. Missed getting into the class by one question. I told him he could retake it in a week and not to panic. On the way out of the building, he turns to me and says, " Can I just go to community college and transfer?"

So, today he applied at the local community college. Fortunately, they have transfer agreement with the college he was accepted to. It will probably add another year to his plans. Monday we will go to the college and see the registrar and formally withdrawl.

I am so disappointed. I know some of it is about me, I never had the opportunity to go to a four year school and I was pretty pumped about him going. I'm trying to let it go and remind myself that this is just a bump in the road on his journey.

I know there are other moms here struggling with so much more, I feel like a whiner. I just needed to vent somewhere safe.

 

[Laurel-in-CA]

DS went to CC by choice, got his AA and planned to transfer to a state school in the spring semester. He ended up having to wait for the next fall (just a few weeks now) to transfer. He comes out of CC with a great GPA, having confirmed his areas of interest, paid zero tuition due to a local scholarship/fee waiver, and having saved enough at his p/t job to buy himself a good car for commuting. We are still waiting to hear what, if any, aid he will qualify for at the state school, but he'll be living at home and figures he can pay at least 1/2 of the tuition himself.

 

Contrast this with his sister who went to a private school for a BFA and even with grants and scholarships and staying free with friends still has about $25K in student loans to pay...and a not-very-profitable degree with which to go job hunting.

 

I know it's not the 4-year straight-to-the-dream path, but he can still get where he wants to go and, frankly, probably with less stress and less expense. Nostalgia is OK, might-have-beens are natural to think about briefly, but don't live there....instead encourage your son to pursue his interests at CC and see if he can find mentors there who will help guide him. DS has found a couple profs at CC that he has really connected with and they've given him good advice and encouragement to help him figure out which way he wanted to go. CC can be a lot more personal in that regard than a big state school.

[J-rap]

It's hard to know when to push and when to not.  At least he has another plan;  it's not that he wants to pull out without any plan at all.  Someday, this will all be a little blip in his past.  :)

 

Out of curiosity, can he still take that math placement test again, see if he does better, and then make a more informed decision?

 

 

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

It's hard to know when to push and when to not. At least he has another plan; it's not that he wants to pull out without any plan at all. Someday, this will all be a little blip in his past. :)

 

Out of curiosity, can he still take that math placement test again, see if he does better, and then make a more informed decision?

Yes, he can take it again, but even if he passed he would still be behind one semester due to not completing Pre-Calc before graduating high school. No pre-calc, no computer science courses. Also, during orientation, an advisor from the CS department gave a somber warning about falling below an acceptable gpa and getting dropped from the program. His performance on the test was the nail in the coffin for him (his words, not mine).

 

He was the kid that retook Algebra when he entered ps after already going through Chalkdust at home. He needed to gain confidence in what we covered. I feel like this is a repeat of that situation. Btw, hearned an A in it and all the math classes that followed.

 

Deciding to go to cc has already benefited him. After spending the morning signing up for gen ed classes, We spent the afternoon thoroughly examining majors that are less abstract that might suit him better (cybersecurity, information technology). He's very excited about his future.

 

K

[Lanny]

Kudos to your DS for having his feet planted firmly on the ground!   His mom and dad should be very proud of him!

 

There are one or 2 posts by regentdude on WTM, about students in her courses (Calculus based Physics) having problems with Calc. I believe she has written about some students having problems with Calc, because of failing to totally be able to use Algebra, or maybe even going back to Pre Algebra.

 

I believe your DS will be much happier in the CC. He does not sound from what you wrote, at all enthusiastic, about attending the school he'd enrolled in.

 

One reason we did not request that my DD be permitted to skip Pre Algebra was what regentdude had written.  I'm sure DD could have just completed Algebra 1 and done fine, but we wanted her as well prepared for Algebra as is possible, because everything in Math is based on Algebra. And, she did learn new things in Pre Algebra. 

 

If your DS is going to need to catch up, to be well prepared and continue with the plan for CS, I believe it is much better for him to do it in a CC and not be taking remedial courses in a university.

 

CS is probably in the school/college of Engineering and they don't fool around with regard to Math or Science and he must be *very* well grounded. It is a struggle, even for those with a solid foundation.  For those without a solid foundation it can lead to failure and transferring out of the school/college of Engineering.

 

GL to him!

[Sebastian (a lady)]

It sounds like a good choice given where he is right now.

 

Fwiw my hs age son just did a cyber security camp put on by the local university. It was held at a CC and a good number of the staff were members of the CC cyber security team. I was surprised to hear that this was something the cc even had.

[daijobu]

I'm thinking this so-called "four year college experience" is an anachronistic ritual which has outlasted its usefulness.  Why pay so much money just to socialize and attend time-wasting football games?  Focus on obtaining the best education possible, whatever the path he takes.  Good for your DS!  

[Wildcat]

In our household, we don't consider going to CC to be a step down, we consider it a step smart.

 

Same here. When our kids started looking at universities, we were sure to remind them of our local cc and say it was a perfectly valid consideration. They both considered the cc equally alongside their university choices.

[G5052]

In our household, we don't consider going to CC to be a step down, we consider it a step smart.

 

My oldest missed National Merit by a few points (high score state), and the more we dug into the college planning, the better the community college looked. The transfer agreement for his major is rock solid, he gets smaller classes, he can remain plugged in locally, and our budget won't take the heavy hit that had me sleepless at times.

 

He got a good merit scholarship with networking opportunities that are going to be very useful for his major.

 

Community college can be a WIN-WIN. Truly.

 

[Liza Q]

Community college was a great choice for one of my girls. She did well enough that she was able to transfer without an AA and received a nice scholarship. At first she was ashamed, but now she looks at how her friends have done in college and sees that some of them would have benefited from starting modestly and then moving up to starting big and then transferring to cc or dropping out altogether, with loans and no degree.

[Rebel Yell]

Diamond graduated from CC on her 20th birthday, 100% debt-free. It was her first-choice school.

 

I am immensely proud of her!  And FWIW, I don't think she would have done well at a large school.

[mommymilkies]

I'm thinking this so-called "four year college experience" is an anachronistic ritual which has outlasted its usefulness.  Why pay so much money just to socialize and attend time-wasting football games?  Focus on obtaining the best education possible, whatever the path he takes.  Good for your DS!  

:iagree:   This sounds like a very positive step for your son!  

[8filltheheart]

My 21 yod has her OTA (occupational therapy assistant) degree from a CC. Not only is being a COTA the perfect career for her (she loves it), she has a high paying full-time job with benefits (on top of no debt.) Her hours are also fantastic. She goes in for 630 and is off by 330. She really enjoys her long afternoon/evenings.