DawnM Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Are you good at it? I am horrible at it. If I am upset, I can't easily put on a smile and act like nothing is wrong. How do you do it? Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinaPagnato Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 I can do it, especially if I'm with others, if the situation would be inappropriate to demonstrate my upset feelings, or if it would serve no purpose to display my true feelings (i.e. it wouldn't change anything). I do it by acting breezy and unruffled, changing the subject, or suddenly getting really, really busy with a super-important task that just can't possibly wait! :lol: However, I don't do it with my family because, well, they're my family! If I'm upset with something I don't think I need to hide it from them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Beats me. I'm an F on the Myers-Briggs, and that's highly accurate for me. I do think there are times when I don't need to share my feelings and do try to not let them rule my every action. It's something I had to learn and "mature into." But knowing the difference between being fake and being mature is still hard for me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 I can do it, especially if I'm with others, if the situation would be inappropriate to demonstrate my upset feelings, or if it would serve no purpose to display my true feelings (i.e. it wouldn't change anything). I do it by acting breezy and unruffled, changing the subject, or suddenly getting really, really busy with a super-important task that just can't possibly wait! :lol: However, I don't do it with my family because, well, they're my family! If I'm upset with something I don't think I need to hide it from them. That is what I am trying to do, but apparently I am not great at it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Practice. Lots of practice. In my old age I have mastered the smile and nod. It keeps things peaceful. I have always been a person who bottles it up. Opening up in my family left one open to some kind of negative support and who wants to deal with that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 I thought I was sufficiently able to mask my feelings when necessary. Then I read the article about micro expressions someone linked in another thread. Now I'm pretty sure my poker face isn't that solid! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 I can, but it takes effort. The most significant moment I can remember doing it is when my mom was sick. I arrived from out of town to help with her business-- wedding photography--which is also what I did at the time. She'd had a doctor's appointment that day, a Friday, in which she was told she had less than six months to live. Two or three hours later I was behind a camera at a wedding. Although those folks knew my mom was ill, not one other person had any idea we had received such bad news. I did my job and did it well all the while I felt hollow and empty inside. It was truly a moment of I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bodiesmom Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 I can, but it takes effort. The most significant moment I can remember doing it is when my mom was sick. I arrived from out of town to help with her business-- wedding photography--which is also what I did at the time. She'd had a doctor's appointment that day, a Friday, in which she was told she had less than six months to live. Two or three hours later I was behind a camera at a wedding. Although those folks knew my mom was ill, not one other person had any idea we had received such bad news. I did my job and did it well all the while I felt hollow and empty inside. It was truly a moment of I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Many, many, many hugs to you. I'm so sorry. 😢 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 I pretty much stink at it, unless it's a crisis situation involving doctors or police or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 I can do it but I don't. If I'm going to be in a situation where I have to pretend everything is OK when it isn't I simply don't go. I've never been in a situation where I was forced to go somewhere when it would be inappropriate for me to show how I actually feel. Just because I look pissed off doesn't mean I need to explain myself to people so I tend not to fake my feelings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 After more than 20 years in the hospitality industry I am really good at it. Yesterday I was having issues with a passive-aggressive cook while I served out last table and I was really surprised at how I was pleased to see them even though I was unhappy with someone else. I smiled and was gracious to them while I was pretty tough with the cook behind the scenes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ripley Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 After more than 20 years in the hospitality industry I am really good at it. Yesterday I was having issues with a passive-aggressive cook while I served out last table and I was really surprised at how I was pleased to see them even though I was unhappy with someone else. I smiled and was gracious to them while I was pretty tough with the cook behind the scenes. I grew up with an Asian mom who did this when she was mad at us but had company or something. :lol: I also have decades in the hospitality industry, but I'm only moderately good at it. I wear my feelings on my sleeve, not for wont of trying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymonster Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 Ninja level, here. :ph34r: Narcissistic mother. One anxious child. One with a complex medical history. I visualize a very, very large rock and chant (to myself), "I am stone. There is no choice." It doesn't sound very healthy now that I am typing it out, but it has gotten me through a ton. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 I can when I understand the rules. Heck, I can still act as though my ex is my best buddy and he's quite the opposite. When I don't understand the rules and have to perform correctly anyway, I get messy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 I'm good with the public. With my family it slips, because I'm more real with them. But if I have to I can be a bouncing ray of sunshine even if I want to strangle someone or run away in terror. I have a highly expressive face and voice and cannot do a poker face, so I just choose to broadcast a different emotion in place of the one I'm actually feeling. It's rare but I've had to do it a few times in the last few months. I'm like my avatar even when I'm feeling stabbity. One of the clues I had adrenal fatigue was when I had zero stress tolerance to normal situations and couldn't even fake it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 Yes until I get Teary. Then ouch! I am infp... Calm exterior, turmoil within. When the turmoil gets out watch out!!! I actually don't think it's overly healthy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 I think I've gotten pretty good at it. I've been doing it for awhile now, as I try to be positive amidst difficult times. On the other hand, when it comes to being around people who are really hurtful, harmful, or bring me down, it's almost impossible for me to hide my feelings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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