Gil Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 My boys, but especially Pal, my youngest, has been friends with an elderly neighbor for about 3 years now. Mr. Hilton is about 86 years old and has taken a turn for the worse and is in the hospital. He'll probably pass with in the next couple of days and Pal would like to say good bye while he is still alive, he's adamant he doesn't want to go to say it at the funeral. Mr. Hitlon lived alone, but one of his kids live in town, I'm not even sure that they knew their dad had such a young friend and I don't want to be disrespectful or pushy during this emotional time, but Pal is very upset and I'd like to at least reach out of the Hiltons while there is still time. Would it be okay for me to contact Mr. Hilton's family and ask for my son to see him? How should I word the request? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 I think the family would be touched to know neighbors care so much. I might not phrase it as "saying goodbye" though. Say your son has been asking if he can visit Mr. Neighbor and offer to bring something they might need. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Agreeing the family would be touched by this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Yes, absolutely! Briefly explain that your son made friends with their Dad and would like to visit. I cannot imagine how reasonable people would refuse that request. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gil Posted February 28, 2015 Author Share Posted February 28, 2015 Thanks everyone, I just wanted to bounce the idea off of someone less emotionally invested in the scenario and make sure that it wasn't creepy or tacky. (If you think it is creepy or tacky, then please tell me!) I think the family would be touched to know neighbors care so much. I might not phrase it as "saying goodbye" though. Say your son has been asking if he can visit Mr. Neighbor and offer to bring something they might need. Thanks, this is more tactful wording for sure. Thank you so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2bee Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Its kind of sad that we have to worry about being percieved as creepy simply because of the age gap. Friendship knows no bounds and there is something beautiful and kind about a small boy and an old man being such good friends. I say reach out to the family and ask permission for your sons to visit their Dad. I hope that they'll be open to it and that your son will have the chance to say goodbye to someone he considers a friend. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Not creepy or tacky. Lovely. I hope this helps Pal. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mominco Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Through ministry we have been around many, many elderly people dying. I can't imagine any of them not wanting your family to visit. They will be touched to know he had good buddies on the block. Don't worry about how you word things. You are part of the old man's team! I would call now. It's easy to wait too long in these situations. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I think that the family would really appreciate knowing that their dad touched the life of a child in such a positive way. It's a good feeling and memory at such a dark time. Give them a call. (((HUGS))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 How sweet! I would have loved if someone had made a similar visit when my dad was in his final days. It would have brought a little light to those dark long days. Make sure your son is aware that Mr Neighbor most likely won't be himself. He may not even be awake. He may be hooked up to all kinds of machines, in an odd looking position in the hospital bed and even if he is awake he may not be able to speak or even recognize him. Of course that may not be the case, but it's best to prepare. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gil Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 Thank you everyone for your help, I was finally able to speak with the adult son and we're going to go by tomorrow morning when visiting hours start. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 You better make sure your kids are able to visit. Hospitals sometimes will not let young children visit during certain seasons, like flu season. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I think it would be perfectly fine, and the family would appreciate the sentiment. Don't waste a moment in contacting them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 You better make sure your kids are able to visit. Hospitals sometimes will not let young children visit during certain seasons, like flu season. Agreed, though the hospital will sometimes waive this if the person is likely to die, and it's okay with the family. (That happened with us in a situation like this.) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Our beloved elderly neighbour just passed. He adored my kids. We didn't see him in the last month due to our constantly being sick, but we attended the visitation and funeral. The family really appreciated it, and once we introduced ourselves they knew just who we were. I'd visit if you can and are healthy, but definitely attend any services. I would discuss the possibility of an open casket. I didn't, but thankfully my kids are older and had been through that before. It shocked them the first time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gil Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 We got back an hour ago, the visit went well I think. We did have a little trouble taking kids to visit, but the adult son was there and got us in. We were able to sit with him awhile and he even woke up for several minutes on two seperate occassions. He seemed surprised and happy to see the boys and it really made Pals day (and broke his heart a little, but in the best way possible.) The boys are drained and sleeping now. I'm glad that we went, the adult son was really choked up to see that someone so young cared about his dad at this stage and age of life. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 That's very sweet, Gil. :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gil Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 Our beloved elderly neighbour just passed. He adored my kids. We didn't see him in the last month due to our constantly being sick, but we attended the visitation and funeral. The family really appreciated it, and once we introduced ourselves they knew just who we were. I'd visit if you can and are healthy, but definitely attend any services. I would discuss the possibility of an open casket. I didn't, but thankfully my kids are older and had been through that before. It shocked them the first time. Yeah, I think that this is a good idea. I'm trying to read between the lines and take my cues from the boys. This will be the first time that someone they knew and loved has passed so I'm not sure how they will react. Mr. Hilton isn't bio or legal family, but the boys love him all the same. Pal was very adamant about wanting to say goodbye while Mr Hilton could hear him and know that he said good bye, I guess he needed that and I'm glad that he got a chance to say it today. Buddy wasn't as comfortable with the whole thing, but last night he said he definitely wanted to go if he was able to and he said in the car ride home that he was glad he'd gone. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I'm so glad you guys got to see him. What a precious relationship for all of you! I'm so sorry he's near the end. :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Difficult times, you're a great dad. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 We got back an hour ago, the visit went well I think. We did have a little trouble taking kids to visit, but the adult son was there and got us in. We were able to sit with him awhile and he even woke up for several minutes on two seperate occassions. He seemed surprised and happy to see the boys and it really made Pals day (and broke his heart a little, but in the best way possible.) The boys are drained and sleeping now. I'm glad that we went, the adult son was really choked up to see that someone so young cared about his dad at this stage and age of life. I'm glad things went well. The love in these posts makes me teary eyed. How nice for the Mr. Hiltons, elder and junior, to be reminded that others still do care. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 I'm glad you were able to take your boys and I'm glad it well. :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 It sounds like you have raised some awesome boys. :001_wub: Glad they were able to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clementine Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Do you know how many parents wouldn't take the time to do this for their children? I applaud you for taking cues from your kids and contacting the man's son AND actually visiting their friend. Very sad, but also very sweet. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gil Posted March 2, 2015 Author Share Posted March 2, 2015 It sounds like you have raised some awesome boys. :001_wub: Glad they were able to go. Thanks, I'm trying hard to raise these boys to be awesome men :). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Gil, you are so wise! That was a wonderful thing you did for both your sons and their friend. I think you blessed the family member as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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