How/when would you communicate this to daughter? college scholarship and mental health

[Tsuga]

My 2 cents, Elisabet:

 

She's 18. Forward her mail with a loving note--"This came for you. I love you. Mom."

 

She might lose the scholarship. She might delay college. I happen to know a number of people who messed up as young people and who got it together later on who are doing just fine.

 

You don't have the right to intervene at this point, not legally. Send it on.

 

Hugs to you and good luck.

[MomatHWTK]

:iagree:

 

Because you are still very focussed on what she did to you, and don't have a solid relationship with her, you are no longer in a position to help or advise her.  I see that you believe you've made good choices on her behalf and want to see those choices come to fruition.  But I really think you are no longer able to see things clearly enough to do so. The best you can do for her is hope that she is surrounded by people who will help her while you work on healing your own resentments.   

[LucyStoner]

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Edited February 20, 2015 by Susan Wise Bauer
Report, don't accuse.

[Lolly]

Agreeing with those who say she is an adult, have the information sent to her by the school. Stay out of it yourself. It is not up to you to make decisions for her (wait until she is in a better mental place). Allow her to have the information and do with it what she wants to do. If things don't go the way you think would be best, that is okay. These are HER decisions to make, allow her to make them.

[Dmmetler]

If a student has a documented disability which shows the student would benefit from a single room, they should be able to get one. 

 

My neurologist wrote up documentation to allow me to have a single room and priority placement on a "quiet" floor/hall because I need more sleep and have to sleep on a regular schedule to function at all.  At different schools, it was handled differently-some had a dorm that was just for students with special needs that was all singles with private baths (this was a very spread out urban campus, and the special needs dorm was significantly closer to most of the academic buildings than the other dorms-important for kids with mobility issues), some had an honors dorm that was all singles and placed kids with medical singles there as well, some just assigned you a regular room with no roommate. Except for the school that had a specialized dorm, all the others were regular dorm rooms with shared social space and bathrooms down the hall. and in most cases, a "Quiet" hall simply meant that you had to go downstairs for a lounge, kitchen, etc. 

 

I do wonder how that works now that many colleges have gone to suite set-ups. While the suites look nice, if you end up with a noisy, chaotic person in one of the rooms, that's going to affect the others as well.

[albeto.]

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Edited February 20, 2015 by Susan Wise Bauer
Veers over into personal attack.

[unsinkable]

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Edited February 20, 2015 by Susan Wise Bauer
Report, don't accuse.

[unsinkable]

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Edited February 20, 2015 by Susan Wise Bauer
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[Lang Syne Boardie]

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Edited February 20, 2015 by Tibbie Dunbar
Report, don't accuse.

[Guest]

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[unsinkable]

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[albeto.]

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[Mergath]

Yes..but then she went to a different room..and got in to fights with her roommate and some of the other girls on the floor. She left willingly, but they told her she could not come back until she got mental health help. I do not tend to post every single detail. Just what is pertinent to the actual question at hand. I already have posted too much and the more I post, the more people who have something against people with bipolar disorder tend to give me a hard time about it.

 

I have yet to see anyone here with something against people with bipolar disorder.

 

With that said, I'm married to a bipolar guy, and he can do anything he wants as long as he's on his meds.  But untreated bipolar disorder is a whole different story.  Someone with untreated bipolar might do okay at first, but that usually doesn't last.

 

And with THAT said, I agree with the pps who said to forward the info and be done with it.

[itsheresomewhere]

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[Guest]

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[Guest]

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[albeto.]

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[Mergath]

I know that I keep mixing up the daughter who left school with the son who was going to switch schools (?) because he failed most of his classes.  I have to keep sorting out in my mind which kid is which.  A quick overview from Elisabet1 would really help me out here.

[itsheresomewhere]

I know that I keep mixing up the daughter who left school with the son who was going to switch schools (?) because he failed most of his classes. I have to keep sorting out in my mind which kid is which. A quick overview from Elisabet1 would really help me out here.

This.

[Jean in Newcastle]

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[unsinkable]

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[Teachin'Mine]

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[plansrme]

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[Susan Wise Bauer]

Guys,

 

Please, enough with the name-calling. That is a violation of board rules. If you have serious concerns, report, don't accuse. 

 

Thanks.

 

SWB