curly hair care question

[mamabear2three]

I've tried a variety of things over the years with my dry, thick, curly hair. 

 - cheapest products on the market didn't do much for me, but that's what I grew up with.

 - no-poo was a fun fad for a while, using baking soda paste when I needed it and diluted apple cider vinegar to rinse but it got to be a pain in the neck and it wasn't really making my hair amazing, it was still dry and frizzy and mostly unruly unless back in a pony tail.

 - I tried some fancy "curly hair" product but the shampoo has wheat in it and I wasn't willing to chance that because I have celiac.

 - I've tried various hair salons for cuts and styles, all of which are over priced because of my curls ($80-100?!?!) and the only good cut I ever got was after I had chopped my hair off really badly and needed a short-do fix and the lady took pity on me and did a really good job (I had just miscarried for the second time in a row and was an emotional wreck). I didn't really like all the work it took to dry/brush it into style because I'm hair-lazy.

 - currently I am washing infrequently with Dr. Bronners when my head itches and using some conditioner I bought at trader joes in between for moisture.

 

My hair is in need of a trim and I'm avoiding it because I don't particularly like cutting my own hair but I don't have money for a cut and I don't trust most places to do a decent job on curls because I have a lot of bad experiences. My hair is dry, frizzy and lifeless. 

 

I google info on good products for curly hair and get so many options it makes my head swim. Someone please help a poor hair clueless girl!!!

 

I am admittedly lazy with my hair but I am willing to change if I must. It should be telling that the hair style my DH likes best is when I spend the 45 minutes it takes for me to straighten it (which I haven't done in ages - who has time for that with 3 kids?). 

 

I'm willing to spend some money if necessary, but I don't want to spend it haphazardly, so I'm here hoping the hive can save me!

[TeenagerMom]

As a curly headed girl, the best thing I ever did was no-poo. Except I never used anything but Suave Naturals & Aussie gel. No baking soda, etc.

 

But honestly, my easiest no fuss hair was to get a short stacked bob & straighten it. It takes maybe 20 minutes to straighten. I wash it every 3-4 days & don't have to fuss with it again until it gets wet again.

[greenvneck]

L'Oreal has a new product line that is amazing. It's called Eversleek and is sulfate-free. I've been using it on my super-curly hair and have been pleased with it. I got it at Target but I'm sure you can get it anywhere.

[milovany]

I have had success with the Curly Girl method. There's a book and a stylist finder online. I can imagine getting a plethora of information if you google "curly hair care"!  I'd say check out the Deva cut/method specifically and see if that works for you.  It seems to for many (not all).  The basic cleansing method is washing with a certain type of conditioner (honestly, Suave's coconut conditioner works best for me and I've tried a variety of products in a variety of price ranges, including Deva products) and also scrunching conditioner into wet hair before getting out of the shower (and leaving it in).  More to it than that, but I have to scoot! 

[wapiti]

You might look at Shea Moisture shampoo and conditioner (Target or Walgreens).  There are curly versions, regular versions, etc.; they are sulfate-free, gluten-free, etc.  I would probably go with the regular version ("Restorative") to try - sometimes there are trial-size bottles at Target (like at the end of an aisle) though I haven't seen them lately.  Target has sales occasionally.

 

Have you tried lots of conditioner with gel (a la Curly Girl)?

 

For me, the right gel in the right amount is critical.  After four and a half decades of curly or straight, I finally found a hairstyle I can live with, sort of half-and-half (straight-ish on top, wavy/curly on the bottom - I don't scrunch or it gets super curly everywhere).  I only comb with conditioner in the shower, never comb otherwise, never brush, never blowdry (but for emergency circumstances).  I "press" dry with a t-shirt.

 

My go-to inexpensive conditioner for co-washing is Tresemme Naturals.  When I shampoo I use Shea Moisture.  My favorite conditioners are Shea Moisture (either restorative or sometimes the Curl one, though note that the curl products have protein which seems to work best for me if I use it only occasionally - too much protein and it gets stringy-looking) or Kinky Curly.  I use Deva Curl gel.  I don't use sulfate shampoo but once in a blue moon (talk about drying!).  I avoid silicone products.

[greenvneck]

Oh, and try the EverCurl cream for styling. Comb it through your hair then use a hair dryer with a diffuser and you will be so happy with the results!

[TeenagerMom]

Oh and DD's fix for her very extremely thick, coarse hair????? A pixie cut. I am currently growing my bob back out because I miss being able to wear it curly or throw it in a pony. Everyone is betting I won't make it past shoulder length. It is hard to go back!

[elegantlion]

I've been using the Curly Girl method of cutting and I use only conditioner on my hair. For low budget, I've had the most success with Aussies 3 min miracle (moist version). I use it like shampoo, about every other day and leave a little in my hair for leave-in conditioner. I have very thick dry curls. 

[Angie in VA]

I've heard good things about this line.

[mamabear2three]

Oh and DD's fix for her very extremely thick, coarse hair????? A pixie cut. I am currently growing my bob back out because I miss being able to wear it curly or throw it in a pony. Everyone is betting I won't make it past shoulder length. It is hard to go back!

 

I've threatened this and DH tells me no. lol Too bad you can't try it and reverse it if you don't like it!

[redsquirrel]

I've been using the Curly Girl method of cutting and I use only conditioner on my hair. For low budget, I've had the most success with Aussies 3 min miracle (moist version). I use it like shampoo, about every other day and leave a little in my hair for leave-in conditioner. I have very thick dry curls. 

 

That is what I use as well. I follow the 'curly girl' method. I 'wash' it with Aussie Moist conditioner. I run a comb through it when the conditioner is worked through. Lately I have been following this with the Generic brand of the 'Joico K-pak" which is called "Reconstructing Conditioner". It is the first thing I have used that leaves my hair feeling as silk as it did when I was younger. I really like it. I follow the directions and leave it in for 5 mins, so I just do all my other shower stuff at that time and then rinse it out. The generic brand conditioner was about 6$ at a Sally's beauty supply, but I have seen the Generic brand in supermarkets. It is a black and white bottle.

 

Then (and this is part of the curly girl method) when my hair is soaking wet I bend at the waist and my hair is flipped forward. I have my bottle of 'product' in the shower with me. I have been using the "Devacurl light defining gel".  I got 32oz for a very good price on Amazon, but you can use pretty much any curly hair gel you like, just make sure it isn't drying to your hair and washes out without buildup. I use a generous amount. You work it through your hair when it is dripping wet. You want to hear a sort of squelching sound as you scrunch your hair with gel. I use more than I expected to, but it makes my hair look great. You should see the hair separate into curls. Let it do that. Don't run your fingers through it and break the curls, that makes for frizz!

 

Then I use a hair towel, one of those microfiber things that wraps around your head. We have a bunch of them and we all use them. I gently wrap my hair in one, without twisting or pulling it. I get dried off and dressed etc. When I am ready I take the towel off and always gently just sort of push my hair into general position. Don't brush it, don't comb it, don't mess with it too much. That is what makes it frizz out. You want to keep the curls in their pattern. Just let it air dry and it should be much less frizzy.

 

When I go to bed I do put it back BUT not at the back of my head. I put it in a ponytail on top of my head. Yes, it looks seriously funny, but it works. It is called 'pineappling' and it made a major difference in my hair. I wake up, take the ponytail down and go about my day. I don't have to do anything to my hair. The curls fall down unbroken and that is that. I don't brush it, I don't mess with it.  If it needs perking up, I have a spray bottle and I spritz it with water. I bend over at the waist and flip my hair over and I spray and scrunch. Sometimes I use a little bit more gel, but not often. But that is much, much easier than daily straightening or anything like that.

 

FWIW, it is a process. It took me a few months to get it down and find the right products for my hair. But, now that I have it is really simple and I get complements on my hair all the time. The funny thing is that I have never done less to my hair. Most days I just take it out of my silly nighttime pony tail and go about my day. I don't brush it or have to style it.

 

[dirty ethel rackham]

I've tried the no-poo method and I ended up with a disgusting scalp infection - gross and stinky.  I wash my hair every other day, but use conditioner every day.  Due to some lingering scalp issues, I use a tea tree oil shampoo from Trader Joes, but I use a good conditioner.  For a while, I was using Burt's Bees More Moisture, but that is becoming more difficult to find locally.  I have been splurging on Alba Botanicals Hawaiian Conditioner.  While I am in the shower, I comb the conditioner through, do whatever else I am going to do then rinse it with cooler water (just not as hot as I like my shower:).)  I NEVER rub my hair dry because that just roughens up the cuticle and makes it frizzier.  I wrap it in a towel for about 10 minutes.  Just an ordinary bath towel - I didn't find that those microfiber towels did anything special.  After I unwrap it, I use a curl defining gel from aquage.  I comb it through, arrange my hair how I want it and LEAVE IT ALONE.  If I am in a hurry or am too cold, I will dry it with a diffuser and am really careful not to disturb it too much.  After it is dry, I smooth any frizzies with a little coconut oil, argan oil or whatever I have handy.  

 

As far as cuts are concerned, I did not find that a "curly girl" cut was any better on my hair than my stacked bob from a regular hair stylist (one who understands that cutting curly hair is much like cutting a hedge - the shape is what is important.) 

 

Lately though, I have been straightening my hair - mostly because I want one part of my life to feel like it is under my control:). 

[elegantlion]

 

 

Lately though, I have been straightening my hair - mostly because I want one part of my life to feel like it is under my control:). 

 

Oh my, isn't that the truth. I wrote a story once where the mother was a hairdresser, and her theory was that emotions came out in the hair and that curly hair people have some seriously out of control thoughts (obviously not a scientific theory). 

[dirty ethel rackham]

Oh my, isn't that the truth. I wrote a story once where the mother was a hairdresser, and her theory was that emotions came out in the hair and that curly hair people have some seriously out of control thoughts (obviously not a scientific theory). 

Cool.  Very "Like Water for Chocolate" of you only her thoughts and emotions came out in the food she prepared.

 

Actually, I am one of the more calm people in my family of origin and I have the curliest hair.  But, it is the things in my life that are out of my control that were stressing me out, so I decided to do one thing that would make me feel less like flotsam and jetsam in the sea of life.  Small gesture, I know, but I do feel better knowing that every day is a good hair day, not dependent on wind and humidity.  :laugh: 

 

[kitten18]

My niece has curly hair but she always wears it straight. She only needs to wash her hair about once a week so only once a week does she have to spend much time straightening it. During the week she spends a few minutes a day on touch up.

[ajfries]

I started no-poo six years ago & in the last 2-3 years I've done low-poo using Giovanni (the shampoo is tea tree something or other). I shampoo every 3rd day and rinse with apple cider vinegar diluted in water. For conditioner I use Giovanni deep conditioner & I leave the majority of it in. When I get out of the shower I wrap my hair in a t-shirt (like a turban) and do my make up. Then I take it down & comb through it with a wide tooth comb.  I use the blue LA Bella hair gel in a 40 oz tub; I finger comb it through and then I take the t-shirt I used before & scrunch my hair. Then I blow dry it with a diffuser to about 80% dry.

 

I've noticed I have some buildup lately & I'm afraid it's because of my hairspray.

 

I do have to say that I have the best haircut I've had EVER and it's my DH who has been cutting it. We cut it when it's dry over the course of a few days.

[The Girls' Mom]

I've had the best luck with a natural ingredient shampoo bar and a natural conditioner bar.  I only use the shampoo bar when my hair starts looking greasy.  I don't use product very often, and I let my hair air dry.  I comb it in the shower, then just finger comb later.  I can tuck the front behind my ears and it dries to just wavy instead of curly...while the back curls up.  Sometimes I use a small amount of coconut oil to help with the frizz.  

 

I had hair the texture of straw before doing that.  

 

For cuts...I'm not much help.  Mine grows out until I can't stand it any longer, then I will chop it off to ear length layers.  I gave up on salons because every one of them gave me a mullet.  

[mamabear2three]

 

 

I do have to say that I have the best haircut I've had EVER and it's my DH who has been cutting it. We cut it when it's dry over the course of a few days.

 

my DH is terrified of cutting my hair, I've tried talking him into it but he's convinced he'll do irreversible damage!

[mamabear2three]

here's a question - should I repair the hair through a good product (low-poo/conditioner, or something else recommended above) or would you suggest I cut it and then begin the new product?

[redsquirrel]

I know that people with celiac have problems not just with gluten, but possibly with what my friend calls 'leaky gut' and it can lead to problems absorbing nutrients. I personally know very little aside from what I have heard talked about in casual conversation. Is it possible that some of the issues you mention with your hair, being 'dull and lifeless' could be stemming from nutrition or absorption issues? Do you have any concerns about that?

[Angie in VA]

I've been using the Curly Girl method of cutting and I use only conditioner on my hair. For low budget, I've had the most success with Aussies 3 min miracle (moist version). I use it like shampoo, about every other day and leave a little in my hair for leave-in conditioner. I have very thick dry curls. 

 

I got Aussie's 3 min miracle for dd (put it in her stocking last year) and she likes it. She's out, so I'll get some for her stocking again, since she's back at college now. I will tell her your trick of using it as a shampoo.

[elegantlion]

my DH is terrified of cutting my hair, I've tried talking him into it but he's convinced he'll do irreversible damage!

 

I once let ds cut my hair, he was about 8. He actually did a nice job with some guidance from me. Sadly, he did not want to take over the job permanently. 

[Word Nerd]

My go-to inexpensive conditioner for co-washing is Tresemme Naturals.  When I shampoo I use Shea Moisture.  My favorite conditioners are Shea Moisture (either restorative or sometimes the Curl one, though note that the curl products have protein which seems to work best for me if I use it only occasionally - too much protein and it gets stringy-looking) or Kinky Curly.  I use Deva Curl gel.  I don't use sulfate shampoo but once in a blue moon (talk about drying!).  I avoid silicone products.

 

I also use the Shea Moisture curly shampoo and follow up with Tresemme Naturals, which I don't completely rinse out, and it's a great combination for me. I use a little Miss Jessie Jelly Soft Curls gel instead of Deva gel. No-poo never did work for me.

 

[Word Nerd]

I'm kind of surprised that some of you are able to co-wash using conditioners that have -cones (like Aussie products) and not have build-up. 

[mamabear2three]

I also use the Shea Moisture curly shampoo and follow up with Tresemme Naturals, which I don't completely rinse out, and it's a great combination for me. I use a little Miss Jessie Jelly Soft Curls gel instead of Deva gel. No-poo never did work for me.

 

 

I was looking at the Shea Moisture line, maybe I'll try them.

 

I know that people with celiac have problems not just with gluten, but possibly with what my friend calls 'leaky gut' and it can lead to problems absorbing nutrients. I personally know very little aside from what I have heard talked about in casual conversation. Is it possible that some of the issues you mention with your hair, being 'dull and lifeless' could be stemming from nutrition or absorption issues? Do you have any concerns about that?

 

It's a possibility - I've not thought about that issue. 

[newhsmom]

I use products from Ouidad. Her products are not cheap, but in my opinion they are worth every cent. I go once a year and get my hair cut at a Ouidad salon. I used to straighten my hair before I found her products and I was just so sick of fighting against my natural hair. The right product and hair cut make such a huge difference. My mom thinks I am crazy to spend so much money on my hair, but she has straight hair and didn't spend nearly 30 years hating her hair. I really like my hair now and don't spend very much time fixing my hair and it always looks good. I get so many compliments on my hair and I know the difference is Ouidad. She has videos on her website that are very helpful and customer service that will help you select the products that are right for your hair. The products are also carried at Ulta. I know what a frustrating journey it can be and I hope you find something that works for you.

[Erin]

I wear my hair short now, so it's not really an issue anymore because, for whatever reason, mine needs to be longer to curl.  It's just heavy waves when it's short.

 

But, for many years I wore it between shoulder-length and waist-length. I'd wash it (condition only if it was really dry out) finger a little bit of Frizz Eaze serum (silicone) through it and sprunch dry with a towel.

 It always looked good.

[elegantlion]

I'm kind of surprised that some of you are able to co-wash using conditioners that have -cones (like Aussie products) and not have build-up. 

 

I think the Aussie product I use has less, at least it's way further down on the ingredient list. I don't have any build up issues like I did with other products. 

[lynn]

My hair curls best when I have a good layered hair cut otherwise it's just funky A line witchy looking.  I can use most anything I use little shampoo and a bit more conditioner.  I don't rinse the conditioner completely.  I like Paul Mitchell Awuphi shampoo and detangler conditioner best (I got spoiled when we went onvacation and that is what the hotel supplied)  but I don't want to pay the price so now I use Tresemme shampoo and conditioner.  I also like and will pay more for Diva Curl light defining gel it seems to work best.  

 

Leaving some conditioner in my hair seems to be the key to getting well hydrated curls.

[redsquirrel]

My hair curls best when I have a good layered hair cut otherwise it's just funky A line witchy looking.  I can use most anything I use little shampoo and a bit more conditioner.  I don't rinse the conditioner completely.  I like Paul Mitchell Awuphi shampoo and detangler conditioner best (I got spoiled when we went onvacation and that is what the hotel supplied)  but I don't want to pay the price so now I use Tresemme shampoo and conditioner.  I also like and will pay more for Diva Curl light defining gel it seems to work best.  

 

Leaving some conditioner in my hair seems to be the key to getting well hydrated curls.

 

If you like the Paul Mitchell shampoo and detangler, I suggest you check out the Generic brand

 

http://www.amazon.com/GVP-Detangler-Compare-Paul-Mitchell/dp/B004FK66U4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1417477496&sr=8-1&keywords=generic+detangler

 

I linked to the detangler, but they also make the awuphi shampoo and the tea tree oil shampoo etc.  I get mine at my local Sally's beauty supply, but they might carry them at Ulta or at a supermarket.  I love the detangler but I find it leaves my hair a bit limp.  However, it is a lifesaver with my younger son's hair and I wouldn't be without it. I always have several bottles of the generic in the house.

 

[lynn]

If you like the Paul Mitchell shampoo and detangler, I suggest you check out the Generic brand

 

http://www.amazon.com/GVP-Detangler-Compare-Paul-Mitchell/dp/B004FK66U4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1417477496&sr=8-1&keywords=generic+detangler

 

I linked to the detangler, but they also make the awuphi shampoo and the tea tree oil shampoo etc.  I get mine at my local Sally's beauty supply, but they might carry them at Ulta or at a supermarket.  I love the detangler but I find it leaves my hair a bit limp.  However, it is a lifesaver with my younger son's hair and I wouldn't be without it. I always have several bottles of the generic in the house.

 

Thanks for the info. I completely forgot to look for generic.  I hope it's the same formula because I really got spoiled this summer the combination really worked for my hair.

[LizzyBee]

I used to have a stacked bob and I liked it. But I take medicine now that makes my hair even drier than it was before. If I blow dry or straighten it, it looks like straw. So my routine now is to wet down my hair in the shower, wrap it in a towel for 1/2-1 minute, add a little leave in conditioner, scrunch it, and let it dry naturally. 

 

I use shampoo on an as needed basis, which is usually once a week in the summer and once every couple of weeks in the winter. I use Biolage Color Care shampoo because it's very mild. The leave in conditioner I use is AG Fast Food. It's kind of pricy, but I get a big bottle and it lasts for a long time. I think I buy it about once a year or less. It's light and gets rid of frizz without weighing my hair down. I like Ouidad products, too, but I get a lot more for my money with the Biolage/AG combo and I like them just as well.

 

As far as cuts go, I've never been able to bite the bullet and pay for a deva curl or ouidad cut. I always think I'll do it for my birthday, but I just hate to spend that much money on a haircut. But a family from NYC moved here a few years ago and opened a hair place. Our whole family goes there. The dad is a barber, and the mom and daughter are both stylists. Cuts are $40, but I've never gotten a bad cut there. My hair is layered so that I don't have the upside V look.

 

I spend less time on my hair than I have my whole life, and I get more compliments on it. :-)

 

 

[mamabear2three]

I use products from Ouidad. Her products are not cheap, but in my opinion they are worth every cent. I go once a year and get my hair cut at a Ouidad salon. I used to straighten my hair before I found her products and I was just so sick of fighting against my natural hair. The right product and hair cut make such a huge difference. My mom thinks I am crazy to spend so much money on my hair, but she has straight hair and didn't spend nearly 30 years hating her hair. I really like my hair now and don't spend very much time fixing my hair and it always looks good. I get so many compliments on my hair and I know the difference is Ouidad. She has videos on her website that are very helpful and customer service that will help you select the products that are right for your hair. The products are also carried at Ulta. I know what a frustrating journey it can be and I hope you find something that works for you.

 

I looked them up - they don't have a place that do the cut anywhere near me - closest place is almost an hour drive. I may check out the product line though!!

[SamanthaCarter]

Suave Professionals captivating curls mousse. Try it - it's the best thing I've found for my curly hair in 25 years. Cheap and no crunchy hair!

 

I've found that to get a good haircut for curly hair it's going to cost $100, so I only get a haircut two or three times a year, but I think it's money better spent than fancy hair product. 

 

The beauty of curly hair is that it's not hard. Good haircut, daily rinse, mousse/gel, scrunch, airdry/diffuser. 

 

 

[KungFuPanda]

I spend $80 plus tip for a curly cut once a year. The rest of the year I maintain it by periodically trimming off the bottom curl of each ringlet. I wouldn't bother for a child.