Desert Strawberry Posted November 13, 2014 Share Posted November 13, 2014 I don't usually remember my dreams, but every now and then I have one of those deeply unsettling dreams that stays with you. They are always different and very vivid, but always the same theme. I'm not into dream interpretation, but these don't require much imagination. I dream I'm losing a kid. Last night I had a dream that we were at Target and the police ran a safety drill of some kind. My 8yo ran away from me. Twice. I was in knots, because he was running back and forth, and this thing was happening, and he wouldn't come back to me. Then I went to him, and someone tried to kidnap him from me. It was horrible. The dream ended with us still fighting over him. My other kids were waiting in the van. but I couldn't see them, and didn't know if they were ok. This was a bit more complex than usual. Sometimes, they go to a public bathroom and don't come back. Sometimes they disappear at the store or a festival-this has happened, though just for a few minutes. When I was pregnant with my first, and when he was a baby, I dreamed that I came home and he was gone. or that we were in the house and I couldn't find him. You get the idea. The scenarios are endless. Obviously, I have a problem. I'm surprisingly able to be rational in most cases, though we do keep them close. I am cautious, but I don't think I stifle them too much. I don't really have a point. I guess I would other parents I respect to tell me this is ok, and I'm not actually pathological. I'm not a fearful person. I don't worry a lot over my ids or anything else. But this fear. It's deep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted November 13, 2014 Share Posted November 13, 2014 I'm not big into dream interpretation, but I do think a lot of dreams like that are in some ways manifestations of your anxieties. I used to hVe the same dream (with different variations) the week before school started every year when I was teaching. I dreamed I was teaching two classes simultaneously and I kept going from one to the other and they were both out of control, kids were standing on desks throwing things at each other... you get it. Since your dreams are so vivid, there's sure to be some anxieties in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted November 13, 2014 Share Posted November 13, 2014 Completely normal in my opinion but I have night Ares like that too occasionally. If it were a nightly thing I'd be concerned but its common to dream about things that worry you even if you consciously don't know its worrying you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted November 13, 2014 Share Posted November 13, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Have you tried meditating before bedtime? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaillardia Posted November 13, 2014 Share Posted November 13, 2014 I don't know if you respect me or not, but I will say I have had similar dreams but not frequent; of my children being abducted. My personal opinion, and certainly not psychological, we love our kids and the world is not necessarily a safe place. Sometimes we have felt unsafe and I think it transfers to dreams and how our subconscious works things out. I'm sorry you can't resolve it. I hope you're not thinking that this is a prophetic dream because that will drive you to do things whacky. I don't think you're whacky. In a series of books I read, the author wrote of dreams and how to gain control of them. His solution was to look for his hands and to be able to control what happened, to be able to be more aware of what his reactions were to events in the dream. It is a hard thing to grasp, but I have done it. I wasn't having bad dreams, just felt out of sync with my life. You are a very spiritual person and I think you can handle anything, just my personal thoughts on that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannahs4 Posted November 13, 2014 Share Posted November 13, 2014 Your pregnant right? I have had these same types of dreams... Losing or forgetting a child, during everyone of my pregnancies! I chalk it up to stress of change with new baby coming. I think you are entirely normal.. Something else I remember is that my late pregnancy dreams were always super vivid, almost lucid. Maybe something to do with hormones, and how rested we are? You will be fine :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too Posted November 13, 2014 Share Posted November 13, 2014 I have had nightmares involving losing my children. Although they are now 16 and 18, in my dreams they are very young. Most involve losing them in the ocean or losing one or both of them during an horrific terrorist attack of some sort. I awake shaking and breathing so heavy that I wake my dh. I just realized that they were 3 and 4 during 9/11 and 405 when the Washington DC sniper was in our area. The ages they appear in my nightmares. Fortunately, I haven't one in over a year or so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted November 13, 2014 Share Posted November 13, 2014 I always have nightmares about fires and trying to pack everyone in the car. So not the same dream as you but a recurring dream for me that reflects my anxieties. Oddly enough I remember my Mum describing similar dreams. I think it's normal and on some level actually helps process the worry so you don't go over the top with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted November 13, 2014 Share Posted November 13, 2014 You are not demented. Since I was in college I have had "tornado" dreams. Very vivid, always in a different setting and involving different people or groups of people I know. Pretty much, I notice a tornado coming and I run around frantically warning people to get to safety - usually a place that is within running distance. I chalk it up to my personality type and the fact that tornado safety was ingrained in me from a very early age. :) Last night I remember yelling "No!" and have a vague memory of being distressed, but I don't remember the actual dream. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Strawberry Posted November 13, 2014 Author Share Posted November 13, 2014 My early years involved a LOT of exposure to abductions. It was a very real fear. Less so now, but I have a great many memories that aren't going anywhere. I do worry sometimes that my emotional baggage is impacting my ability to be a reasonable mother. I now this is a problem that I have, and I have taken steps to minimize it's impact on us. The dreams are infrequent, but consistent, whether I'm pregnant or not, always realistic and always extremely vivid. I had other dreams in the past, but now, this is it. I'm not overly anxious in general and this doesn't plague me. It's not like I can't fall asleep out of fear of the dreams, or anything. They do effect me when they happen. I used to have other kinds of nightmares. and they did plague me. I did use meditation to deal with it. I can't say it helped. The out of control feeling is the worst part. Last night, Aries wouldn't come back to me. He was just too far out of my reach. It was awful. Then no one would help us. People were just standing around watching. Again, completely helpless. Maybe looking for my hands would help. I don't know. It can't hurt. I will try to remember. They do seem to center around Aries most of the time now, but that's undoubtedly because he wanders off. I have lost him before. I tried to get someone to call a Code Adam a few months ago because he disappeared and I couldn't find him. They wouldn't do it. It felt exactly like one of my dreams. My fears are not unjustified, I think. I don't think the dreams are prophetic. I don't. I know the statistics, and I know how to keep my kids safe. We are super low risk. I am very tempted to put a wrist leash on Aries for a while, though. I don't know if that's unreasonable, but I'm not sure if I care very much, if it makes me a little less crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertBlossom Posted November 13, 2014 Share Posted November 13, 2014 The only recurring dream I have is that DH won't marry me. And I usually only have that dream when I'm pregnant. Usually in the dream DH rolls his eyes at me or something similar when I suggest we get married, like I ought to just be grateful he's around at all. For some reason in my dream I'm always paranoid about being too pushy with him and making him leave. But I just can't believe he won't marry me when we have KIDS together. Like I was willing to have s3x and now he won't even marry me! I wake up so mad at him. I know that dream is not any sort of manifestation of an inner fear at all. DH is the most committed, kind, loving DH I could ask for and him leaving me or us not being together is not something I worry about at all in the history of ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Tick Posted November 13, 2014 Share Posted November 13, 2014 I don't think that is unusual at all. Keeping or children safe is a daily concern, at some level, right? I have twins, so I often had this dream when they were younger. Usually at a park our the library - places we often spent time. Sigh. Took forever to go back to sleep. Now that everybody is older, the dream had morphed into trying to remember or get to where I left them. Despite the fact that in real life I rarely "leave" them anywhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted November 13, 2014 Share Posted November 13, 2014 I also had vivid abduction/lost child/illness dreams about my children while pregnant. My most vivid was when I dreamt that I climbed nine flights of stairs, reached the door at the top, and my husband dropped our then-toddler down the concrete stairwell. I still have those kinds of dreams on occasion, but they're not quite so vivid. Totally normal. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I find that whichever boy I lost in my nightmares gets extra hugs and kisses the next day because I am SO very grateful that it was just a dream. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted November 13, 2014 Share Posted November 13, 2014 Ugh...dreams... I have bad ones. :( In my dreams, I am always trying to live up to "someones" expectations, and failing, or I am too fat to fit into my "only" clothes, or one of my kids is lost or have drowned, or I have just married someone and am their 12th wife, or I am in a war and there is fire and I am running and fighting,.... yes,...I would rather forget my dreams. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted November 13, 2014 Share Posted November 13, 2014 I also had vivid abduction/lost child/illness dreams about my children while pregnant. My most vivid was when I dreamt that I climbed nine flights of stairs, reached the door at the top, and my husband dropped our then-toddler down the concrete stairwell. I still have those kinds of dreams on occasion, but they're not quite so vivid. Totally normal. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I find that whichever boy I lost in my nightmares gets extra hugs and kisses the next day because I am SO very grateful that it was just a dream. Cat Oh, that IS a bad dream. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaillardia Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 I can understand why you would have those types of dreams if it plagued your past. That is very real, I'm sorry. It sounds like you are suffering PTSD. You seem like the kindest person here EVER (not that I'm voting) and I am sorry if I sounded like I was doubting you in my prophetic comment. Let me try again in another way. I will pm you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Strawberry Posted November 14, 2014 Author Share Posted November 14, 2014 I can understand why you would have those types of dreams if it plagued your past. That is very real, I'm sorry. It sounds like you are suffering PTSD. You seem like the kindest person here EVER (not that I'm voting) and I am sorry if I sounded like I was doubting you in my prophetic comment. Let me try again in another way. I will pm you. I wouldn't go so far as to call it PTSD, and this is hardly my biggest problem. I came from a troubled past. This is just one thing. I have put a lot of effort into heading. This seems to be one of the things I can't shake. I'm not hurt at all by your comment. I know most people don't have my background. I'm actually reassured that it's uncommon. It gives me hope for my children. Thank you for calling me kind. I don't think of myself that way, and it is nice to hear it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 Pregnancy and/or nighttime low blood sugar. Try a bedtime snack of cheese and crackers or some such thing to help get you till morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 I think it's pregnancy related. Possibly just hormones, but also possibly your brain working out its fears and worries about birth/pregnancy/etc. If you've had a loss before, or have had one close to home, I would expect that you might have more unconscious worries. I know that with each of my births, there has been some issue I've had to deal with, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, before I could be ready for the birth, and my third birth was particularly worrisome, because it was our first birth after my SIL's devastating 36-week stillbirth. But it could just be hormones playing tricks on you. I get some doozies when I'm pregnant! Usually, they're of the, um, adult variety (although thankfully only involving my husband, LOL), but I think anything can go with dreams during pregnancy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 Pregnancy and/or nighttime low blood sugar. Try a bedtime snack of cheese and crackers or some such thing to help get you till morning. You know, that's interesting, because my ds who is mildly hypoglycemic complains of nightmares. I wonder if, if we charted his dinners and his dreams, we'd find a correlation. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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