plansrme Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I'll be developing workshops on The Art of Listening to Someone Who Disagrees With You. After working on our listening, we'll move on to advanced topics such as How to Consider That, Possibly, the Person Who Disagrees With You Just Might be a Teeny, Tiny Little Bit Right. The top ten percent of graduates of HTCTPTPWDWYJMBATTLBR will be invited to participate in, "The Person Who Disagrees With You is Not Necessarily a Shrew Just Because She Disagrees With You." Breakout sessions will be available on, "If we disagree, the most useful response is not, 'My Way or the Highway,'" and my personal favorite, "The fact that only one person approaches you with a concern does not mean that she is the only one in your school, on your team or in your office who thinks like she does." Festivities will be capped of with a roundtable discussion, "The fact that I disagree with you does not mean that I think you are incompetent, immoral or going to hell; neither does it mean that we can not work, play or worship together." Feel free to suggest other seminar topics. I'm trying to decide whether, "My making a different choice than you is not a criticism of your different choice" fits under the umbrella or gets its own seminar. I'm leaning towards "same umbrella," on the grounds that such a mindset is a big part of the reason that people can't deal with what they perceive as criticism but is really just, "This is something upon which reasonable minds may differ, and I do." The culprit today is travel baseball. Aggravating factor: that I am a mom and dared ask a question of a MAN about baseball. I should probably be shot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 How about: Just because I said, "no, I can't do xyz for you" doesn't mean that I am really saying "I'm on a power trip" nor does it mean "I want to personally ruin your day". (I work in pharmacy and can't always do what the customer thinks I can do......you know, due to silly ole laws or the capability of my computer system.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 LOL! Wow, I usually don't observe this kind of fuss in person. Just online (a lot). ;) Where I live, you generally take the hint when someone walks to the far end of the room without explanation. :P I agree with all, except the tiny bit right part. Because that doesn't matter, does it? People should be OK with disagreement even if there is no chance of ever seeing the other side as right. Generally people don't change their minds during discussions, but later, when they've forgotten the argument and now believe this is their own original idea. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I have some folks I need to sign up for your classes. Sigh... Been there, done that with men and baseball. It took a while but I finally convinced them I knew baseball probably better than they did.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Maybe a little work on the difference between someone 'not agreeing' with you vs someone 'not understanding' what you said. Perhaps you could make a flow chart to help people recognize when someone who really was listening simply disagrees. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
albeto. Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Feel free to suggest other seminar topics. I'm trying to decide whether, "My making a different choice than you is not a criticism of your different choice" fits under the umbrella or gets its own seminar. I'm leaning towards "same umbrella," on the grounds that such a mindset is a big part of the reason that people can't deal with what they perceive as criticism but is really just, "This is something upon which reasonable minds may differ, and I do." The culprit today is travel baseball. Aggravating factor: that I am a mom and dared ask a question of a MAN about baseball. I should probably be shot. You might find the certain webcasts on this subject helpful. Two that were beneficial to me were entitled, "My not agreeing with your reasons should not be mistaken as an invitation to reiterate your reasons in 20 different ways," and "If you think I am looking directly at you with a polite smile, and yet can't seem to shake the idea I'm staring right past you, consider shutting up." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Another Jen Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I love this so much. I'm so glad I'm not alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I just had a nice conversation, albeit brief, with a man at the gas station about baseball. I know nothing. Evidently it's the playoffs. I'm following Ebola. What do I know! And I love in "Cardinal nation," but he was most gracious. Lol. My mom OTOH would have been horrified at my ignorance. Lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Wonderful! Different Choice = own topic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I'm in! Will cupcakes be served? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Tick Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Maybe a workshop on "Techniques for Letting Go." Maybe get some masseuse(s?) to set up in the lobby, and privacy cubicles next to the dark chocolate vending machines. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted October 14, 2014 Author Share Posted October 14, 2014 Maybe a little work on the difference between someone 'not agreeing' with you vs someone 'not understanding' what you said. Perhaps you could make a flow chart to help people recognize when someone who really was listening simply disagrees. Oh yes! Perhaps this could be covered in the opening address. Isn't it the height of conceit to think that if you just understood me, you would agree with me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 <3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 I don't know what you are talking about. Nobody ever disagrees with me. :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 Why it is not necessary or even desirable to agree all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeacherZee Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 Just Because Someone Stopped Discussing With You Does Not Mean They Agree With You Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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