R movies for teens?

[Amy in Orlando]

I'm really not a big prude. I laugh at many of the same things as my sons. Dh is helping to chaperone a swimming party the boys are attending this evening. He just called me to see what I thought about this situation. :tongue_smilie: Several of my oldest sons' friends are going to see Pineapple Express http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0910936/ - AFTER the party (it's 10:30 pm here now) I looked it up on imdb quickly and saw the R rating and told dh no. We've always agreed on no R ratings until they're old enough to get in legally. I told Mike the movie was R rated and he immediately agreed no. I kept reading about the movie. It sounds like a violent Cheech and Chong movie with 161 f-bombs tossed in for fun. :tongue_smilie::tongue_smilie:

 

But, you can bet Mike's going to be driving home one grumpy teenager. (The other two are smart enough not to ask - plus they're currently broke lol) It is fine if he wants to be grumpy (in his room) - he's knows the rules. But, it seems to just be getting harder and harder as we keep having to say "No" so frequently. We're friends with most of these kids' parents and I cannot figure out why they are so content to just let their kids do whatever they want rather than see them get upset or pout.

 

While I'm ranting, I'll rant about one more thing. Our scout troop planned an informal family picnic event at a beautiful local springs. Pot luck, the kids could swim and canoe. Our kids were really looking forward to it. I received an email last night that several of the boys in the troop didn't think it sounded fun, so in response the event is being held at a local lake. I was ok with that. Then I read a little further down. It is now being catered (only $15 per person!), there will be jet skis, waterskiing and something else at an additional charge.

 

Well, we do not have $90 for a catered meal that at least two of my children will not be able to eat (allergies) nor do we have money for all of the fun extras. It feels mean to take the kids to a picnic where they will not participate in anything. Another "no."

 

I'm so frustrated. Our kids are generally nice when I say no. They're pretty easy to entertain and don't expect us to spend big bucks so that they can be constantly amused, but I'm starting to feel like we're the only ones. (Except for you guys, but you're imaginary and all)

 

Thanks for letting me get that out of my system.:D

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

I'm really not a big prude. I laugh at many of the same things as my sons. Dh is helping to chaperone a swimming party the boys are attending this evening. He just called me to see what I thought about this situation. :tongue_smilie: Several of my oldest sons' friends are going to see Pineapple Express http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0910936/ - AFTER the party (it's 10:30 pm here now) I looked it up on imdb quickly and saw the R rating and told dh no. We've always agreed on no R ratings until they're old enough to get in legally. I told Mike the movie was R rated and he immediately agreed no. I kept reading about the movie. It sounds like a violent Cheech and Chong movie with 161 f-bombs tossed into fun. :tongue_smilie::tongue_smilie:

 

But, you can bet Mike's going to be driving home one grumpy teenager. Which is fine - he's knows the rules. But, it seems to just be getting harder and harder as we keep having to say "No" so frequently. We're friends with most of these kids' parents and I cannot figure out why they are so content to just let their kids do whatever they want rather than see them get upset.

 

While I'm ranting, I'll rant about one more thing. Our scout troop planned an informal family picnic event at a beautiful local springs. Pot luck, the kids could swim and canoe. Our kids were really looking forward to it. I received an email last night that several of the boys in the troop didn't think it sounded fun, so in response the event is being held at a local lake. I was ok with that. Then I read a little further down. It is now being catered (only $15 per person!), there will be jet skis, waterskiing and something else at an additional charge.

 

Well, we do not have $90 for a catered meal that at least two of my children will not be able to eat (allergies) nor do we have money for all of the fun extras. It feels mean to take the kids to a picnic where they will not participate in anything. Another "no."

 

I'm so frustrated. Our kids are generally nice when I say no. They're pretty easy to entertain and don't expect us to spend big bucks so that they can be constantly amused, but I'm starting to feel like we're the only ones. (Except for you guys, but you're imaginary and all)

 

Thanks for letting me get that out of my system.:D

 

Hugs, Amy. You hang in there. And I'm so sorry about the picnic. That just stinks.

[Parrothead]

((((Hugs)))) One day it will turn around and bite those parents in the rear.

[Crissy]

:grouphug:

 

I'm sorry about the movies and the picnic, Amy. It does get harder, doesn't it?

[percytruffle]

I'm so frustrated. Our kids are generally nice when I say no. They're pretty easy to entertain and don't expect us to spend big bucks so that they can be constantly amused, but I'm starting to feel like we're the only ones. (Except for you guys, but you're imaginary and all)

 

Thanks for letting me get that out of my system.:D

 

 

Hmm, pinching myself in the arm, yup, quite real. :D

 

We never let the dc watch R rated movies either. I sat in Sunday school one week when we discussed this very issue. I was the only parent who did not allow their kids/teens to see Titanic. The pastor's wife said her kids saw it, nudity and all. OMG. I was stunned. That said, we do view R movies at home as a family if the R is for realistic violence (ie war) or language (as in Die Hard), but not for sex or nudity. They will hear the swear words elsewhere anyway, and they certainly are not blind to violence in the world, but the sex can wait. It is just too much incorrect visual information for them to process and for us to combat.

 

I will add that what is good for the goose is good for the gander. With a few exceptions, dh and I don't watch R movies either. It is often just not worth it.

[Doran]

I so understand! With rare exception, we've honored the restricted in the R rating for our ineligible teen even for home movies. And, nothing gripes me more than an event which costs more than every child can freely afford. It's insensitive. But, holding our ground is an uphill battle for sure. And, I'm aware that it's going to get worse before it gets better. Most parents just don't really even try to fight all those fights, so we're horribly outnumbered. I figure we'll hang onto our principles as best we can, but I'm also not willing to "die on a hill" (got in trouble once for using that expression too loosely here ;)) for every single little thing. Much as I'd like to believe we can be firm across the board, I can already imagine that there will be some concessions made when what we're holding onto isn't worth the price we have to pay to keep it. I hope that comes out sounding as I mean it to. There are some boundaries that are rigid, but there are others that are more like clay. After some digging, we may determine that it's best to give in, as we inch them towards making their own choices when they are no longer under direct supervision. For you/yours, I don't think that time has come. But, it may. It may. Meanwhile, stick to your convictions, to what you believe is right. It's what needs to be.

 

Hang in there.

[Amy in Orlando]

Thanks for letting me know I'm not crazy or alone!

 

Doran, I defnitely agree with you about choosing which hill I want to die on (why is that bad - I don't mean to offend, just seems like a good description). We do try to take each instance as it comes and in context. But, we seem to be on a long "no" streak here lately. I wish someone would ask to dye their hair blue. I'd be ok with that.

[tibbyl]

I kept reading about the movie. It sounds like a violent Cheech and Chong movie with 161 f-bombs tossed in for fun.

 

I am in awe of whomever was tenancious enough to count the exact number of times the word was uttered.

[Amy in Orlando]

I am in awe of whomever was tenancious enough to count the exact number of times the word was uttered.

 

:lol::lol: That's the exact same thing dh said. I wonder if they get paid per word?

[runningirl71]

Yes, Amy, hang in there! Parenting is hard, isn't it? I have been shocked over the past year as my son has developed friendships, to learn how many kids his age (or younger) watch R rated movies. It just baffles me, and in some instances (as with a friend who let their 6 year old watch R movies) it almost borders on abuse.

 

My son was just griping tonight about all the things his friends get to do, but he doesn't. He said he wishes we were "normal."

 

Aaahh, normal, now what fun would that be??:)

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

Yes, Amy, hang in there! Parenting is hard, isn't it? I have been shocked over the past year as my son has developed friendships, to learn how many kids his age (or younger) watch R rated movies. It just baffles me, and in some instances (as with a friend who let their 6 year old watch R movies) it almost borders on abuse.

 

My son was just griping tonight about all the things his friends get to do, but he doesn't. He said he wishes we were "normal."

 

Aaahh, normal, now what fun would that be??:)

 

Well, now just for some contrast, when ds came home from his first year of college this June, he told me how proud he was that he came from a family that was so unusual. Standards of conduct, commitment to one another, loving and close, honest with one another, etc. My jaw dropped, lemme tell you.

 

So what he doesn't like *now* and what he values in five years might be completely different things.

 

Be encouraged.

[tibbyl]

I have often been baffled by the ratings assigned to American made films. The raters seem to believe that graphic violence is less harmful to children than nudity and swearing.

 

Rest of my nuclear family does not share my viewpoint on violence in films. They gently tease me about my aversion to violence; I guess I somehow managed to *not* become desensitized to it.

[Doran]

I wish someone would ask to dye their hair blue. I'd be ok with that.

 

 

Maybe you should "invite" them? :lol:

 

[Amy in Orlando]

Oooo excellent!

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

My 7 year old is allowed to watch some rated R movies. Actually, my child's media is completely unrestricted. I am not abusing my child. I just do not feel she is going to implode if she hears someone on TV or a movie say the F word or sees a naked person and that sheltering her from such things is not in her best interest. One her fave movies since age 4 is Titanic. My child is actually very conscious of language. She doesn't even like me to say darn and stupid.

 

I do not let my kid do whatever she wants just to avoid seing her pout. My child has a great number of rules and expectations of behavior.

 

I respect a parent's choice to set their own limits for their own children, but parents and kids who make different choices should not be vilified, IMHO. My daughter and I have a hard time finding connections with other homeschoolers in our small, suburban area because we are not restrictive, and I do not expect them to change their activites or their kids rules to suit us. We merely find our fun elsewhere and participate in the activities that do suit us when we can.

[Sandy in Indy]

I think it's one thing to allow your own children to view R rated films. It's quite another to take a group of teens to an R rated film. I had that happen at a birthday party my dd went to when she was 14--the mother of the birthday girl took them to an R rated film. My dd didn't go in the theater.

 

You're definately not alone.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

I think it's one thing to allow your own children to view R rated films. It's quite another to take a group of teens to an R rated film. I had that happen at a birthday party my dd went to when she was 14--the mother of the birthday girl took them to an R rated film. My dd didn't go in the theater.

 

If the person doing the taking does not know all the parents and if the kids are allowed, I TOTALLY agree with you. That is WAY out of line.

 

Kudos to your dd too. Once my dd was offered cake at a function when I wasn't around. She couldn't find me to ask, so she didn't have cake. I was so proud of her.

[tibbyl]

My 7 year old is allowed to watch some rated R movies. Actually, my child's media is completely unrestricted. I am not abusing my child. I just do not feel she is going to implode if she hears someone on TV or a movie say the F word or sees a naked person and that sheltering her from such things is not in her best interest. One her fave movies since age 4 is Titanic. My child is actually very conscious of language. She doesn't even like me to say darn and stupid.

 

I do not let my kid do whatever she wants just to avoid seing her pout. My child has a great number of rules and expectations of behavior.

 

I respect a parent's choice to set their own limits for their own children, but parents and kids who make different choices should not be vilified, IMHO. My daughter and I have a hard time finding connections with other homeschoolers in our small, suburban area because we are not restrictive, and I do not expect them to change their activites or their kids rules to suit us. We merely find our fun elsewhere and participate in the activities that do suit us when we can.

 

We are not restrictive either with films, books, or live theater. What I have found is that my children typically tend to self-censor as appropriate.

 

Honestly I did not remember "Titanic" had an R rating. Actually there are few films that I like, but I took my eldest to see it at theater at his request. But I do remember wishing I had packed a picnic lunch and blanket because the movie was longer than the real-life event.

[Mom to Aly]

As far as the movie--I know I'll probably let my dd see some R movies before she is 17, at home--but there is nothing that would let me tell her to do something illegal is alright. I am VERY liberal, but I don't believe in lying (and, yes, I really don't believe in it), and telling your child it is alright to do something illegal is just wrong, IMO. Where do you draw the line? Sneaking in an R movie? Sure, no prob! Cheating on your taxes? Everyone does it! Stealing? Why not! You see where I'm going. I think it is wonderful that you said no, in spite of what your ds may think.

 

As for the other--I am surprised they would just change the venue and pick such an expensive event. But I used to belong to an hs group like that. Everything cost a fortune, everyone had a fortune, and whenever I said we couldn't go (I'm a single hs mom on an incredibly tight budget) I'd either get looks of pity or disdain. So I changed groups, and now am in a group where we look for cheap or free events together. I'm not saying do that, but maybe there are other people in your group who feel the same way, and you could see if they would like to go there that day? Just send out a general email saying your fam would still like to go, and see if others would like to join? If not, it still sounds like a nice event for you.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

What I have found is that my children typically tend to self-censor as appropriate.

 

I have found the same. My dd also comes to me to discuss things in books or other media that she sees as "wrong" or controversial.

 

ETA- it is not illegal for someone under 18 to see a rated R movie. I can buy my child a ticket for one tonight if I want.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

:grouphug:

[Nestof3]

You know, that movie looks like complete trash. I wouldn't watch it regardless of how old I get. I just checked it out on www.screenit.com. The sexual content is disgusting too.

 

I just always explain that as Christians (not sure if this applies to you), there will be things we have to give up. Thankfully, Aaron is at the point where he asks me to check screenit to let him know if a movie is fit for him to watch because he really doesn't want to watch something that will cause him to stumble. Unfortunately, most movies -- even the ones that aren't heavy on language and have no sexual scenes always seem to have some woman with too much hanging out. Thankfully, most of his friends are just as selective about movies, but one of his friends invited him to see a movie recently that he had to decline. He was disappointed that he couldn't go with them, but at the same time didn't want to make a bad choice. I would imagine this situation is worse when the friends are not likeminded.

 

Sorry to hear about the scout time. Maybe you could come up with something fun to do as a family that could take the place, or invite a friend(s) over for something special.

[Nestof3]

I was the only parent who did not allow their kids/teens to see Titanic. The pastor's wife said her kids saw it, nudity and all. OMG. I was stunned.

 

You know what? We used to attend this church where the pastor was always boasting how he and his family NEVER go to the movie theatre, how it's bad, and so forth. So, we went to his house once and noticed his movie collection.

 

Yep -- you guessed it -- there was the Titanic.

 

Hmmm -- do you think maybe he's missing something?

[bettyandbob]

I hear all the time about so and so going to R rated movies and playing M rated games. I'm just sticking to the same rule as you..

 

As for the scouts, that would really bother me. Scout troops we've been associated with never asked for extra money for events like this. The troop/scouts raised the money and figured out how to stage an event within the confines of the money they had. My dds troop raises money and budgets for all activities. If they want a weekend rafting trip they have to examine the budget. Last spring they had a trip to Williamsburg/Jamestown. They spent one night in a hotel because they were arriving too late to set up camp. The other nights they camped. The scouts had to pay $20 for that trip, which I thought was quite reasonable given that they were gone 4 days and had to pay admission fees to the historic sites. I think it's innappropriate for a troop to put a $15 pricetag on a picnic.

 

I also know all about being asked to pay for meals my dc can't eat. I'm just upfront and say, due to severe allergies dd/ds has to bring her/his food what is the cost for participation w/o the meal. My dd's troop now plans meals consulting her so she there will be things she can eat and she doesn't have to feel different during the meal. I never expected that, but I am grateful.

[Mrs Mungo]

For me it would really depend upon the movie. I wouldn't have a problem taking my child to some R rated movies (however, Pinapple Express would NOT be one of them!). However, I can't see myself offering to take a group of underaged teens, some of whom I didn't know that well, to a rated-R movie.

[Jugglin'5]

Well, now just for some contrast, when ds came home from his first year of college this June, he told me how proud he was that he came from a family that was so unusual. Standards of conduct, commitment to one another, loving and close, honest with one another, etc. My jaw dropped, lemme tell you.

 

So what he doesn't like *now* and what he values in five years might be completely different things.

 

Be encouraged.

 

I agree with Pam that your kids will thank you for their upbringing later. My parents weren't strict by my current standards, but compared to my friends' parents they were very strict. I can think of very specific things to this day that they didn't let me do, and I am very grateful for it. At the time, I thought I would die. If anything, I wish they had been a little more strict. I know that is not much comfort in the here and now, but I think you will be glad that you did in the future. And you can give me the same speech in a few years when my teens are older.:D

[Amy in Orlando]

For me it would really depend upon the movie. I wouldn't have a problem taking my child to some R rated movies (however, Pinapple Express would NOT be one of them!). However, I can't see myself offering to take a group of underaged teens, some of whom I didn't know that well, to a rated-R movie.

 

Yep. There are R-rated movies that I'm ok with my kids watching. They are quality movies with a relevant message/topic. But, for the most part, we watch those at home.

 

I don't think seeing the movie in question would destroy my son or compromise him in any way ... I just don't see the need for him to spend his hard-earned money to fill his head with junk. Nor do I see a real need for him to be out until 1:30 (or later) just so he can do what his friends are doing.

[Vida Winter]

Stand your ground, Amy, at least you'll be at peace with yourself. At least you and Mike are in agreement, and let the chips fall where they may (or the grumps grumble). They'll get over it in short order.

 

The time to plug your ears and sing "la la la..." is when they move away from home and you don't know what they're doing.

 

And about the picnic - who in the world caters a picnic? For a scout event? All I can say is you won't be the only one not showing up. Holy cow.

 

:grouphug:

Dana

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

And about the picnic - who in the world caters a picnic?

 

Actually, it is pretty common. People are so busy these days, and some would rather contribute cash than have to make a dish. That way everyone can just sit back and relax and not have to stress about preparing food and setting up, etc. I don't think $15 per person is expensive. You would spend near that or even more per person going out to eat. Of course, if you have a large family it gets ridiculously expensive, but large families are such a minority these days I guess no one thinks about that (which is kind of a shame).

[Amy in Orlando]

Actually, it is pretty common. People are so busy these days, and some would rather contribute cash than have to make a dish. That way everyone can just sit back and relax and not have to stress about preparing food and setting up, etc. I don't think $15 per person is expensive. You would spend near that or even more per person going out to eat. Of course, if you have a large family it gets ridiculously expensive, but large families are such a minority these days I guess no one thinks about that (which is kind of a shame).

 

I think you are exactly right, Jedi. Most of these families only have one kid, sometimes two. They're always surprised when I point out the total for our family (and a few others in our troop who aren't as vocal/whiny as I am). We're the minority and just have to say no for six people (three of whom are eating MORE than most adults and two that eat like normal people:lol: Our youngest son eats more than most 8-yr olds, but I'd count him as a normal adult) for something that would be entirely do-able for a family of three or four.

 

It's not their problem, it's ours. But sometimes it's disappointing to miss a good time.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

It's not their problem, it's ours. But sometimes it's disappointing to miss a good time.

 

I don't think you have a problem at all, but I do agree it is a bummer to miss out on a good time.:)

[Amy in Orlando]

Thanks, Jedi - wanna come have a picnic?

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

Thanks, Jedi - wanna come have a picnic?

 

I'm one of those lazy people who prefers to cater :lol::tongue_smilie::lol:

 

I do make a mean pasta salad, though.

[Amy in Orlando]

:lol:Well, if you're catering, can you bring fried chicken? (AND make pasta salad?) I'll do the rest. :D

[Kris]

I respect a parent's choice to set their own limits for their own children, but parents and kids who make different choices should not be vilified, IMHO. My daughter and I have a hard time finding connections with other homeschoolers in our small, suburban area because we are not restrictive, and I do not expect them to change their activites or their kids rules to suit us. We merely find our fun elsewhere and participate in the activities that do suit us when we can.

 

I agree with you on this.

 

Personally, I didn't want my son watching "R" rated movies, and it was one of the things I got *no* back up on. Sweetie didn't see the problem, and The Kid knew it. Since I'm the one home with him, I held my ground until he turned 16. Since I saw my first "R" rated movie at 14 -- in the theater with my Mom and Dad had a fit! -- it seemed to me 16 was old enough. Most of the movies he wanted to watch, like Titanic, I didn't see a problem with anyway, despite the rating. But it is only a guide.

 

But I also always checked with other parents when their kids were going to be staying here -- about all kinds of things, not just movies. Most of them just said "whatever" -- but I sure didn't want to find out after the fact that there was some restriction I didn't know about.

[Lizzie in Ma]

We go through the same thing now with tween bubblegum movies. Gooey icky teens dating or in love type movies. I do not allow them because they are twaddle of the worst kind but my dd's friend is addicted to them.

I love the Mom but I do not agree on content with her film wise. It is so hard to stick to my guns. She is only 12 and I don't think watching that sort of thing is to be encouraged or endorsed at her age. She wont even be allowed to date til she is older than half the kids in those films an I refuse to go there!

Your wonderful boys with thank you someday, I know they will.

Have a tie die party and do hair while you are at it!

Blessings

Lizzie

[fivetails]

Does Titanic have a different rating in the states or something? It's not R-rated here :001_huh:...I believe it *did* get the 14A (step up from PG), but it most definitely did not have an R. We just had it here not long ago - dd11 and I watched it, as we'd been learning about the titanic..I wanted her to watch the movie with me because it's a great visual {even if not all correct - it still gave her an idea of just how BIG and FANCY the ship was, how a ship that large would look as it sank, how people dressed back then, visual differences between upper & lower class, etc etc).....I did remember that there was the drawing part (and jack showing rose some of his drawings ahead of that) and the part where they were in the car - I explained to her that these parts were in the movie (prior to watching) and that if she was uncomfortable when we got to them, we'd fast forward. We did end up ff'ing a bit. (We also talked about how movie producers will often add sexual content to a movie that really doesn't need it)....

 

Anyway. It's not R rated here --- we don't do R rated movies yet, as a general rule. We don't even automatically say yes to a PG or 14A - if it's got those, then I'd prefer that I see it first, or at least find a good detailed review and then decide.

 

She came home not long ago and said that she'd been invited in to watch a movie at a friends house (friend just turned 10 last month) - I asked what movie and she said "I don't know, her mom went to rent one for her" ....so I told her we'd see.

 

The mom came home with "House of Wax". An R-rated horror movie that, as it happens, I recognized by name because dh is a horror fan and he'd watched it last year late one night.

 

dd11 did *not* go over to watch the movie. ;)

 

*******************

 

Outside of the original movie topic, I find that this also follows over into other areas of our lives.... we don't 'do' some of the current popular fashions (such as having skulls all over everything, or booty shorts) or listen to some of the current popular music, and I know that dd11 finds it difficult sometimes. Our neighbourhood is swarming with preteens and *all* (I know, I sound like a kid saying "all!!" but it's true!) of them are very much into these things. It's hard for dd11 to be 'different' ......even some of the kids her age at our church are wearing, listening, etc to this stuff.....we just keep having open convos about it, talking about *why* we make the choices that we do.

[TravelingChris]

We are probably more liberal in movie watching than many. However, I would not ever show an unannounced R rated movie to any teenagers. I wouldn't even show a PG 13 without announcing what we were watching. There are plenty of fun movies that have lots of laughs that aren't like Pineapple Express. That one looks like a bad imitation of Cheech and Chong movies and we aren't having them watch those either. We judge movies by content, message and intent. I just wouldn't impose our standards on others.

 

On the $15 catered picnic, personally I would love that. I am always havening to make things in the most inconvenient times and for us $15 for what you said you get would be wonderful. I can't say that I have ever been to a youth activity like that- just that I would prefer that over the normal stuff I have to do. In the areas I have lived in, Boy Scouts never had such elaborate picnics. The Explorers in Belgium went on a weekend trio to overnight at a castle and that cost some money but I don't recall specifics. That was Explorers and I think with Explorers, you need to expect extra costs. The Boy Scouts normally had camp outs that cost around $20 a kid.

[Baseballmom]

Does Titanic have a different rating in the states or something? It's not R-rated here :001_huh:...I believe it *did* get the 14A (step up from PG), but it most definitely did not have an R. We just had it here not long ago - dd11 and I watched it, as we'd been learning about the titanic..I wanted her to watch the movie with me because it's a great visual {even if not all correct - it still gave her an idea of just how BIG and FANCY the ship was, how a ship that large would look as it sank, how people dressed back then, visual differences between upper & lower class, etc etc).....I did remember that there was the drawing part (and jack showing rose some of his drawings ahead of that) and the part where they were in the car - I explained to her that these parts were in the movie (prior to watching) and that if she was uncomfortable when we got to them, we'd fast forward. We did end up ff'ing a bit. (We also talked about how movie producers will often add sexual content to a movie that really doesn't need it)....

 

Anyway. It's not R rated here --- we don't do R rated movies yet, as a general rule. We don't even automatically say yes to a PG or 14A - if it's got those, then I'd prefer that I see it first, or at least find a good detailed review and then decide.

 

She came home not long ago and said that she'd been invited in to watch a movie at a friends house (friend just turned 10 last month) - I asked what movie and she said "I don't know, her mom went to rent one for her" ....so I told her we'd see.

 

The mom came home with "House of Wax". An R-rated horror movie that, as it happens, I recognized by name because dh is a horror fan and he'd watched it last year late one night.

 

dd11 did *not* go over to watch the movie. ;)

 

*******************

 

Outside of the original movie topic, I find that this also follows over into other areas of our lives.... we don't 'do' some of the current popular fashions (such as having skulls all over everything, or booty shorts) or listen to some of the current popular music, and I know that dd11 finds it difficult sometimes. Our neighbourhood is swarming with preteens and *all* (I know, I sound like a kid saying "all!!" but it's true!) of them are very much into these things. It's hard for dd11 to be 'different' ......even some of the kids her age at our church are wearing, listening, etc to this stuff.....we just keep having open convos about it, talking about *why* we make the choices that we do.

I looked it up on Yahoo movies and it says PG-13. Here is the link. http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1800026398/info

[Remudamom]

Stick to your guns. We go movie by movie, ours have seen some Rs, but there are some PG13s I won't let them watch. You gotta do what you think best.

[JFSinIL]

We let our one son, 16, watch an R rated DVD with us after we have previewed it, depending on the film. The Matrix, Blackhawk Down, Downfall, The Patriot...

 

Ok - it is hubby who watches with him. I tend to squeal and run from the room when there is bloodshed. I am a wimp! (I refuse to see the new Batman until it is on DVD and I can squeal and run from the room!!)

 

I told him he can watch Little Miss Sunshine when the other kids are not around. I wish that bit with the foul-mouthed grandpa and the cop finding the magazines was deletable...

[fivetails]

I looked it up on Yahoo movies and it says PG-13. Here is the link. http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1800026398/info

 

yeah I peeked around after - Titanic is tagged as a 14 here to rent, but movie ratings vary by province here .....not sure how they balance the ratings in a theater versus the ones at the rental place already on a box.... this one shows the classifications for my province. We don't actually have an "R" ...we have "18" .....Alberta, on the other hand, has an 18 AND and R .....for something rated 18 there, under 18's can go IF they are with a parent...for an R, they can't at all. Quebec, on another hand, doesn't have the 14, doesn't have an R, but has an odd 16 one.... I had no idea how diff they could be from province to province. :tongue_smilie:

[Faithr]

I remember teaching 1st grade CCD the year Titantic came out. All the little first graders had seen it except my dd. She was so jealous. I couldn't believe that parents would take their 6 year olds to it. I'm talking about Catholic parents who send their kids to Sunday school. Why would you plunk out money to have your 6 year old see a story that includes immoral behavior and lots of people drowning. Not only wouldn't I take my child because of the outside of marriage sex but my child would have been terrified of all the death. I think it is just an adult topic. Then I had a neighbor who watched R rated movies with her boys, she thought all the bad stuff went over their heads except it backfired on her a couple of years later when her sons taught all the other kids about bad words and sex. Lots of angry alienated neighbors and teachers!

 

That said we let our teens watch R rated movies. But I think they have very well formed consciences and they self censor. They don't want to watch stuff that is merely gruesome or trashy.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

Why would you plunk out money to have your 6 year old see a story that includes immoral behavior and lots of people drowning.

 

Because it is only immoral behavior in some people's opinion, and others (even people who go to church) simply don't have a problem with their kids seeing immoral behavior and actually want to have their kids exposed to it as a teaching tool. My child, when she saw this movie at 4, had already studied the topic as well as other sensitive topics such as the Holocaust. While some other children would have struggled with those concepts emotionally, she did not, which is why we made the decision for her.

 

My child already knows all the bad words and knows about sex. Otherwise, I personally would not let her watch a rated R movie.

 

I can only explain why WE did it though. Different parents are going to have different reasons.

[Colleen]

I'm not one who lays down the law about R-rated movies because the ratings system is meaningless to me. It just makes no sense to me to opt for or against a film based on a rating doled out by folks whose values I likely don't share. Some PG movies are raunchy junk, imo. On the other hand, I was floored to find that Once was rated R ~ for language only. Okay, yeah, the f-word is peppered in there quite a few times in a row toward the beginning, but it's far less noticeable than in most of today's movies. And there is nothing ~ zero! ~ else even remotely offensive in this movie. It's so, so good and so not worth an R rating, the fact that it received one is confirmation of my disinterest in the ratings system. So I'd encourage you to think outside the box on that score.

 

Having said that, it's a no-brainer that a movie rated R shouldn't be the choice for an event where other people's kids will be watching. Just makes things easier to choose a film that doesnt' require parental approval ~ or, my preference, to skip the movie altogether. It drives me bonkers ~ BONKERS! ~ that so many youth-oriented events have to include screen time of one sort or another. The last time my oldest went to a birthday party, 3/4 of it centered around the computer and television, despite the fact that these people live in a virtual outdoor paradise for kids.

 

And then there was the 4-H "campout" this year...Originally slated to take place a woodsy park with a lake, canoes, etc. It was ultimately moved to someone's backyard and centered around watching an outdoor movie. Yippee! That's camping for ya! Bleh. I hear you, Amy.

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

All you frugal people with the high media standards come sit by me.

 

I'm new here but I love you guys.

 

At our church, the fifth and sixth graders felt that their Bible class was too difficult, so they moved up to join the high school class which is easier and apparently more fun. Now the youth group is for ages 11 to 18.

 

Their get-togethers are expensive! Parents of 11 year olds are shelling out huge chunks of change for trips to Kings Island, Toby Mac concerts, and evening movies (they took the fifth and sixth graders to see Dark Knight.)

 

Our 10 and 11 year old sons are feeling a little left out. They're still in the Bible class, learning with the third graders. If we had let them move up to "high school" at their ages, they still couldn't do anything. We'd never be able to just send them across two states on the spur of the moment, let alone afford Kings Island and the concert. And they absolutely will not be seeing Dark Knight.

 

I want to start an Old Fashioned Families society, where it is expected that the children might actually enjoy board games and decent movies in winter, canoeing or volleyball and cookouts in summer.

[tibbyl]

"This Film Is Not Yet Rated." Rental copy is available at our local Blockbuster. Also on Netflix.

 

Contains nudity, violence, and foul language.