If your spouse is dyslexic and disorganized ...

[summerreading]

...could you please give me some tips?

 

When you add in homeschooling 3 kids, I am starting to feel like everyone's secretary. Feeling a little burnt out.

Quick background: Dh is in his late 30s. Given the dyslexia label at 17, never had intervention or help from the school. It's only been the last few years that I started reading about dyslexia and realizing a lot of things about him are b/c of this. We just watched The Big Picture movie and this was the first time he heard others talking about how he sees the world. So, I'm sure there is a lot of learning still we can do about this.

 

Is bad planning, not knowing how much time you have for something repeatedly, and forgetting to do things unless someone else reminds you again and again all part of the dyslexia package?

 

I want to find ways to help him, even wondering if his reading could improve at this age. I'm not so great with organization myself, so I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.

[kbutton]

We have some dyslexia in the extended family and other exceptionalities in our family. From what I understand, it's not unusual for dyslexia (or most any learning issue) to come with executive functioning problems. EF covers the skills you are talking about.

 

If you search for threads related to ADD, ADHD, or executive functioning, there have been some good resources recommended in the past.

 

Our family is using a book called Late, Lost, and Unprepared. It's more for kids, but it has wonderful explanations about executive functioning. There are other books for older students and adults in the threads I mentioned. If your husband is receptive, this will go much better for you all.

 

I am also the family's chief organizer, and it's exhausting. Best wishes as you figure this out and work through it all.

[summerreading]

We have some dyslexia in the extended family and other exceptionalities in our family. From what I understand, it's not unusual for dyslexia (or most any learning issue) to come with executive functioning problems. EF covers the skills you are talking about.

 

If you search for threads related to ADD, ADHD, or executive functioning, there have been some good resources recommended in the past.

 

Our family is using a book called Late, Lost, and Unprepared. It's more for kids, but it has wonderful explanations about executive functioning. There are other books for older students and adults in the threads I mentioned. If your husband is receptive, this will go much better for you all.

 

I am also the family's chief organizer, and it's exhausting. Best wishes as you figure this out and work through it all.

 

Thanks so much.

[Guest]

My dh is substantially older than yours (50) and never did officially get dx'd with dyslexia, but it's safe to assume he's dyslexic. I actually am his secretary for his company, so I'm very familiar with his weak areas.  The deficits you list commonly do go along with dyslexia. My dh has a hard time making a clear-cut plan to  the very end of a task. He's more likely to begin and then come up against a dilemma, stop, and take forever to come back to the project.  He doesn't envision doing the whole task, collect all tools and materials anticipated, and complete the task, which is how I do it (and wish he could/would!) 

 

Honestly, it has never occurred to me to try and repair his reading or spelling at this point. If it were important to him, he would have conquered it himself long ago. I do wish he liked to read, but he doesn't and I must accept that this is who I picked. I do try to work within his (to me irrational) "organizational" structures. So, for example, if some piece of mail came for him that is not something I take care of, I can't just put it in his mail slot. I tell him about it. I sit it out open where he will definitely see it. I remind him to take care of it. 

[ElizabethB]

My online phonics lessons have helped for several adults, 10 hours total, most students improve a reading grade level or two but one adult student improved at least 6 reading grade levels, he maxed out the test that was being used.

[OneStepAtATime]

1.  O.k. yes, as PP mentioned, what you are describing with disorganization is Executive Function weakness.  Those really can't be helped without some sort of systematic assistance.  They aren't lazy.  The brain just doesn't do these things automatically.  

 

2.  Not all dyslexics have Executive Function issues, but many do.  But a lot of people who are not dyslexic do as well.  When one person in the household is trying to provide all the Executive Function type structure, that can be extremely draining.

 

3.  There are a lot of books that could help.  I am using Smart But Scattered and it really has helped us, although we are still working to implement the various recommendations.  It was an eye opener for me to read just how many steps the brain and body have to go through just to even get a glass of milk out of the refrigerator.  I recommend reading it.  (Late, Lost and Unprepared looks good, kbutton, I may get that, too).

 

4.  Yes, adults with dyslexia CAN be helped to read better.  Depends how willing they are to go back to the basics of reading and start over, and whether there are other undiagnosed issues, but there have been many adult dyslexics that have completed systems like Barton Reading and Spelling or Wilson or LInda-Mood Bell successfully.

 

Hope that helps.

[OneStepAtATime]

I was posting while ElizabethB was, too.  You might look over at her on-line phonics program and see if your husband would be interested.  My DH is dyslexic but was able to compensate enough that he now reads tech manuals, gets through daily work stuff, etc. without needing remediation.  He does not read for pleasure but has no interest in getting assistance with reading, spelling, etc.  He functions well, I handle the personal finances, and he has a secretary/personal assistant for his business stuff.  However, we have friends who are adults that really still struggle and some are or have gone through reading/spelling remediation successfully.

[Laurie4b]

Books on organization for people with ADHD are going to be very helpful. Read the books, talk with him about what he thinks would be helpful and help him set up his systems. The systems that will help someone with ADD or dyslexia are going to be very different than those that help "normal" people. ADD Friendly Organization is one book title that I can recall.

[summerreading]

Thanks everyone. I guess I really should ASK him if he wants to improve his reading. Micro managing in overdrive! My whole family seems to be EF-challenged, including me - very hyper as a child, super scattered as an adult. Never knew the term Executive Function until reading these boards. I was surprised when I asked on Dyslexic Advantage's FB page for help and they told me to check out a book "The Disorganized Mind". I was confused why she would refer me to something for ADHD, but it fits the bill.

 

I will check out your classes ElizabethB!

 

I appreciate the help, I feel kind of lost with this at times.

[EndOfOrdinary]

I am not dyslexic, but my husband is on that spectrum (he is a letter flipper, sometimes numbers when he is tired). He is vastly more organized with stuff than I am, but his time management is wretched. So, I don't know if it can be directly attributed or not.

 

I was raised by my autistic mother and my brother is also very strongly on spectrum. Though I have been tested and show up as not autistic, I have many learned traits that drive my husband nuts. Long story short, I never learned positive executive functioning. At 30, I have finally figured this out. The best book I have found is Thinking Organized. Totally shifted the whole way I look at running our household and talking with my son about life skills.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Thinking-Organized-For-Parents-Children/dp/0979003415/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1390641072&sr=8-1&keywords=Thinking+organized

 

It is currently only a penny on Amazon, though my library also had it.

[Miss Cornelia Snook]

This had been a great thread for me to read. My middle son and I strongly suspect my husband have processing disorders. Not dyslexia, as far as I can tell, but certainly many of the other difficulties mentioned here. I am interested in reading the recommended books. I've been quite concerned about teaching DS the skills to manage in life successfully as an adult. He's so smart, like DH, but not how we typically identify â€academic smartâ€. Getting to know my husband was an eye-opener for me and got me off my gifted kid high-horse! Anyway, thanks!

[Melissa in Australia]

...could you please give me some tips?

 

When you add in homeschooling 3 kids, I am starting to feel like everyone's secretary. Feeling a little burnt out.

Quick background: Dh is in his late 30s. Given the dyslexia label at 17, never had intervention or help from the school. It's only been the last few years that I started reading about dyslexia and realizing a lot of things about him are b/c of this. We just watched The Big Picture movie and this was the first time he heard others talking about how he sees the world. So, I'm sure there is a lot of learning still we can do about this.

 

Is bad planning, not knowing how much time you have for something repeatedly, and forgetting to do things unless someone else reminds you again and again all part of the dyslexia package?

 

I want to find ways to help him, even wondering if his reading could improve at this age. I'm not so great with organization myself, so I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.

 

I have Dyslexia as do at least 3 of my children, 2 of my brothers , both my Uncles and many of my cousins. None of them are bad at planning, unorganized or need constant reminders. Rather we are very  organized.

 I and my children have excellent time management skills as does my brother ( who has Dyslexia way worse than me) He is the head of maintenance of Ambulance Victoria, A job that requires a high level of organization and time management skills.

 

What I cannot do is spell.

 

It is important to note that Dyslexia presents differently in every person., and to different degrees

[elfgivas]

:grouphug:  i live with two dyslexics, dh and dd#3.  the book "the gift of dyslexia" helped me a lot, both with having an understanding of their world, and with being able to think of it as an alternate way of being rather than as a disability.  there ARE gifts that go along with it.

 

and its important to recognize when something is part of the package and when it is part of the personality, perhaps made more intense by the dyslexia.

 

so organization,etc, is a personality thing not a dyslexia thing BUT many of the things people do to be organized involve things like calendars, and lists, and the dyslexia makes it less likely that they will turn to those.  

 

one thing that helped here was the use of the timer.  we set it all the time.  it helps us all, but really helps the dyslexics.  

eg.  when is dance?  how long do you need to get ready for dance?  no, that time only works if you have already laid out your dance things.  have you done that?  no.  do you want to do that, or do you want to double the time for finding your stuff?  okay, do the math.  that means you have to start getting ready by 4pm.  are you going to eat first?  how long will that take?  when do you need to start eating?  what are you going to have?  how long does that take to start cooking?  okay, so you need to start cooking at 3pm.  do you need a shower?  when are you going to do that?  

 

then, we set the timer for when she has to start the "getting ready for dance" package.  after several years of listening to me do this with all the children, dh started to do it for him, too.  he still regularly mixes up the leaving time with the getting dressed time, so i just make sure that stuff is ready to go.  

 

hth,

ann 

 

[Erin]

Not dyslexic, but I AM the disorganized spouse. 

 

 

To the executive function issues:

 

Buck has what is almost certainly ADHD-PI.  My younger brother is dx-ed with ADHD-PI.  My parents are both the absent-minded-professor types, as am I.  My patient, wonderful husband has made the comment that, "Ya know...It's all your fault that the boy is how he is.  We don't have this stuff on MY side of the family..."   :o 

Yes dear... lol

 

I don't know if I have ADD (though it's a definite possibility) but to be sure, I have some fairly noticeable EF issues.  

 

 

I recently finished the book Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD and am now in the process of implementing many of the suggestions.   It's a quick, easy read, full of real ideas and suggestions.  And while it focuses primarily on living spaces and making them more functional, it also is a good overview for making things in general more functional for people who aren't!

[PeterPan]

Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD, 2nd Edition-Revised and Updated: Tips and Tools to Help You Take Charge...

 

This book is AMAZING.  I'm reading through it bit by bit right now and finding lots of practical solutions, things to change, explanations for why things happen, etc.  It gives really specific suggestions for things and really gets into the MIND of the person and why it's happening, how to deal with it compassionately.

 

Also look for books like:

 

That Crumpled Paper Was Due Last Week: Helping Disorganized and Distracted Boys Succeed in School and Life

 

Smart but Scattered: The Revolutionary "Executive Skills" Approach to Helping Kids Reach Their Potential

 

Hahaha, I just noticed Erin also posting the organizing book.  Just goes to show you how good it is!   :D

[PeterPan]

I have Dyslexia as do at least 3 of my children, 2 of my brothers , both my Uncles and many of my cousins. None of them are bad at planning, unorganized or need constant reminders. Rather we are very  organized.

 I and my children have excellent time management skills as does my brother ( who has Dyslexia way worse than me) He is the head of maintenance of Ambulance Victoria, A job that requires a high level of organization and time management skills.

 

What I cannot do is spell.

 

It is important to note that Dyslexia presents differently in every person., and to different degrees

In the US the labels have shifted around over the years.  What the op is talking about is EF (executive function) issues, but she just got told dyslexia.  And we don't know where she got the evals and diagnoses.  (tutoring center vs. full psych eval)  Oh sorry, I forgot it was the dh!  Well if you go back far enough, adhd and dyslexia were lumped together diagnostically.  Only later were they separated.  That was in the 80's that they were still together.  She should read across labels and look for things targeting executive function (the brain's secretary!).

[PeterPan]

Thanks everyone. I guess I really should ASK him if he wants to improve his reading. Micro managing in overdrive! My whole family seems to be EF-challenged, including me - very hyper as a child, super scattered as an adult. Never knew the term Executive Function until reading these boards. I was surprised when I asked on Dyslexic Advantage's FB page for help and they told me to check out a book "The Disorganized Mind". I was confused why she would refer me to something for ADHD, but it fits the bill.

 

I will check out your classes ElizabethB!

 

I appreciate the help, I feel kind of lost with this at times.

Yes, from what I've read, adhd and dyslexia used to be lumped together as minimal brain dysfunction.  Awesome term, eh?  If you want some more *positive* things to read, look for Superparenting for ADD: An Innovative Approach to Raising Your Distracted Child    

 

The DSM (diagnostic manual all docs, psychs, etc. use) attempts to break things down into separate labels, but a number of these labels overlap.  It's very wise to read across labels.  My boy is not on the spectrum, but I read autism stuff and gifted stuff and dyslexia stuff and adhd.  All the topics and books on them give me help.  If you want to go farther into why, you can explore books like:

 

Bright Not Broken: Gifted Kids, ADHD, and Autism

 

Right-Brained Children in a Left-Brained World: Unlocking the Potential of Your ADD Child

[Melissa in Australia]

In the US the labels have shifted around over the years.  What the op is talking about is EF (executive function) issues, but she just got told dyslexia.  And we don't know where she got the evals and diagnoses.  (tutoring center vs. full psych eval)  Oh sorry, I forgot it was the dh!  Well if you go back far enough, adhd and dyslexia were lumped together diagnostically.  Only later were they separated.  That was in the 80's that they were still together.  She should read across labels and look for things targeting executive function (the brain's secretary!).

 

I see.

 So confusing when the same word -Dyslexia- is used by different people with a completely different meaning in the same conversation.

 

  Does dyslexia - a problem with spelling, phonological processing, processing speed and auditory short term memory - mean dyslexia in America now? or are we all talking about a completely different thing? :confused1:

 

[Slartibartfast]

I am dyslexic and disorganized :(

 

Sad thing is I am OCD so I freak out about being disorganized while being disorganized.

 

I recently went on a rampage and organized all our books. It took me all week.

[Mom in High Heels]

James Bond is dyslexic, has ADHD and is highly unorganized.  It drives me crazy and makes me disorganized because he has stuff everywhere.  I don't know what the solution is, but I'm going to look at a few of the books suggested here.  Best of luck to you.

[summerreading]

So I am thinking of looking for an ADHD coach for him. I have never heard of this, but I got the book The Disorganized Mind and the author is dyslexic ADHD and an ADHD coach. I'm wondering if anyone has gone this route. I think it would be way more effective for him and sanity saving for me and better for our relationship. I just don't have the skill to coach someone without getting bitchy. Yeah, I should really be homeschooling
:P

[Tiramisu]

Sympathy here. 

 

No dyslexics but nearly all of us have EF issues among other quirks. I am the master brain by default (a sad state of affairs). I can be hyper-organized in some areas of my life as a means of compensation and that can give people the impression that I am very different from what I really am. To be able to manage the most important things well, I put a limit on making commitments for myself outside of the home.

 

I appreciate the fact that I'm just reading this thread now. I was having a little pity party over everything falling on my plate again and just got out from hiding under the covers.  

[summerreading]

Sympathy here. 

 

No dyslexics but nearly all of us have EF issues among other quirks. I am the master brain by default (a sad state of affairs). I can be hyper-organized in some areas of my life as a means of compensation and that can give people the impression that I am very different from what I really am. To be able to manage the most important things well, I put a limit on making commitments for myself outside of the home.

 

I appreciate the fact that I'm just reading this thread now. I was having a little pity party over everything falling on my plate again and just got out from hiding under the covers.  

 

I appreciate the symphathy. I think I'm there with the pity party at the moment.

[OneStepAtATime]

I see.

 So confusing when the same word -Dyslexia- is used by different people with a completely different meaning in the same conversation.

 

  Does dyslexia - a problem with spelling, phonological processing, processing speed and auditory short term memory - mean dyslexia in America now? or are we all talking about a completely different thing? :confused1:

 

Well, now dyslexia is not even being used in some circles as the correct term for those issues any more.  Every time I THINK i finally have a handle on the correct terms and definitions, they change it.  

 

There are many things that can present as what is traditionally thought of as dyslexia (usually used to mean difficulties with reading and spelling but can encompass much more, depending on the user of the term).  The guidelines keep changing so there is no accurate way to answer your question.

 

In getting evaluations, though, organizational skills, stuff like that, tends to be thought of as Executive Function skills and are not automatically tied in with dyslexia.  You can be dyslexic and not have any issues in this area.  You can be neurotypical with everything else and have extreme issues in this area.  But people with dyslexia frequently also have EF issues so they used to be considered part of the same neurological processing issues, as I understand it.  Now there are more studies to show that isn't true.

 

In other words, remediating the reading, spelling, grammar issues that are typically found with a diagnosis of dyslexia won't usually help the EF issues.  That takes a different set of skills to understand and develop.  Does that make sense?

[summerreading]

Yes, I'm dealing with 2 issues here dyslexia and EF issues.When I first started the thread I thought maybe they go together. But the big thing for me is I wish I could just give him the books I find helpful and let him read it and have him execute on it. So the dyslexia gets in the way of him learning anything and I'm just burnt out. we've been through job loss, going back to school and moving twice losing health insurance with this last move. He's really talented and I feel his skill would be in demand if he just got his act together, but I really worry about him running his own business. I'm tired of being broke. I don't even know how we could afford a coach anyway. See I told you pity party, going back to my migraine now.

[Halftime Hope]

I am married to a dyslexic who has zero EF issues.  I'm the one with EF issues, which is why I'm here, now.  Just a quickie example of dyslexia without the other things added in.   :-)

 

What we have noticed is that as we age, our capacity all across the board, is decreasing.  We've led a very, very stress-filled adult life (you'd think the closet would have run out of shoes to drop, but not yet), and it seems to have taken a toll.  My sincerest empathy when you mentioned the stresses in your life.

 

Anyhoo, it probably will help to know that you are indeed dealing with separate issues.

[Random]

Yes, I'm dealing with 2 issues here dyslexia and EF issues.When I first started the thread I thought maybe they go together. But the big thing for me is I wish I could just give him the books I find helpful and let him read it and have him execute on it. So the dyslexia gets in the way of him learning anything and I'm just burnt out. we've been through job loss, going back to school and moving twice losing health insurance with this last move. He's really talented and I feel his skill would be in demand if he just got his act together, but I really worry about him running his own business. I'm tired of being broke. I don't even know how we could afford a coach anyway. See I told you pity party, going back to my migraine now.

 

:grouphug:

 

Have you heard of a Watchminder?  It's an assistive device on which you can set up to 30 single/repeating alarms.

 

Best wishes to you. 

[Tiramisu]

:grouphug:

 

Have you heard of a Watchminder?  It's an assistive device on which you can set up to 30 single/repeating alarms.

 

Best wishes to you. 

 

I use my cell phone and run out of alarms and calendar reminders. This is a great idea. 

[Mommyof4ks]

My ds is dyslexic and disorganized, and yes all of that is part of the package. I am still learning how to help him help himself, but yes, even when I tell him a time and remind him when the deadline is approaching he still does not get things done, and he gets frustrated when I tell him it is time to stop playing something as of I never told him time would be up in 5 minutes. No help, but I can sympathize to a degree, not that a ds is the same as a dh, because dh is a partner in the family, but it is all I have to offer. :)

 

The one thing that has helped recently is reading The Gift of Dyslexia, and using 'the mind's eye' helps him focus, and once it becomes more ingrained he is supposed to be able to control his chaotic brain more.

[OneStepAtATime]

Yes, I'm dealing with 2 issues here dyslexia and EF issues.When I first started the thread I thought maybe they go together. But the big thing for me is I wish I could just give him the books I find helpful and let him read it and have him execute on it. So the dyslexia gets in the way of him learning anything and I'm just burnt out. we've been through job loss, going back to school and moving twice losing health insurance with this last move. He's really talented and I feel his skill would be in demand if he just got his act together, but I really worry about him running his own business. I'm tired of being broke. I don't even know how we could afford a coach anyway. See I told you pity party, going back to my migraine now.

Big hugs...how does he do with audio books or text to speech?  If he could "read" books like Smart but Scattered, The Dyslexic Advantage, ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life, etc. through a media more accessible to him, it might help him to find a path that works better for him, instead of it all being on your shoulders.

 

As for running his own business, I do think he is going to need a lot of help to get checks and balances in place for remembering when to do what, but once those systems are established, hopefully he can function pretty well within the existing structure.  Personally, I have alarms on my phone for tons of stuff throughout the day.  Much of it many would probably deem silly to have to be reminded of, but it helps me and the whole family keep going since we all have EF issues.  

 

I also have alarms in Quicken for paying bills, balancing bank statements, etc.  Having something like that to keep track of finances and to do long and short term projections, etc. is really helpful.  Also, you can download bank statements directly from your bank into the computer so you don't have to manually enter most of the data once the accounts are set up.

 

Best wishes.  Sorry about the migraine.  Those are horrendous.

[Spryte]

No diagnoses here, but I just wanted to throw out a few more thoughts.  

 

If your DH is resistant to reading the excellent book recommendations, or they just don't seem to fit him... He might get into reading some productivity blogs.  I can't name, other than Tim Ferris, any off the top of my head, but my DH is very into all of those guys.  He's gotten some great ideas, good advice, and made some life altering changes.  His life is organized, he is ahead of the game, and things just don't fall through the cracks - maybe he's grown up, but I attribute a lot to the techniques he's learned. I think the source of those ideas has been more motivating somehow, when they are coming from these places.  We notice that he's generally several years ahead (in ideas, techniques, etc) of the "higher up" in his company who prides himself on being cutting edge, following trends.  He's taken some classes, too, so maybe a coach is a great idea - but even if you can't find a real life coach, following some blogs about this topic might sort of feel like having a coach.  (Too bad your DH doesn't work with mine, he seems to find himself coaching people on this topic a lot lately, for free!)

 

We use a ton of reminders on our cell phones (we use iphones, so DH is always telling Seri to remind him to xyz at such and such an hour, or to add something to a list).  We use timers and sync calendars.  He does a lot more than this, plus all the zero inbox type stuff, but I can't name it all - being the unorganized, fly by the seat of my pants type.  :)

 

"Backtiming" is a joke in our house because of DH's colleagues, who are obsessive about this ... but we do it without thinking now - what time do I need to be at the airport?  When do I leave the house?  What do I do first, etc?  But it is a technique he had to learn, really, and thankfully I learned from him.  

 

Hmmmm.  I will have to tell him about this post.  A few years ago, I was so sick of Tim Ferris that the merest whisper of his name induced inward eye rolls and polite tuning out.  But man, do I see the changes that happened over time!

 

Anyway, not sure this is at all helpful, since it's not specifically dyslexia related, but this stuff did make changes happen here.  And if your DH is resistant, you could just find some cool blog posts and forward them mentioning that they sounded interesting and you were intrigued by [whatever topic seems pertinent].  :)

 

[summerreading]

So the other night at dinner I listened to my lovely MIL almost in tears telling us about how she still needs to look up the word eight and eighty when writing a check, and how she wants to take classes in English but she puts in so much effort to process what the teacher is saying and can't get all of it. My dh has this issue with processing spoken language too. He tells me he actually visualizes every word and it's overwhelming for him. He says I talk too much :/

 

English is her second language, but she's been in the US for 30+ years. I have been trying to tell dh I think MIL is dyslexic too. I have seen her hand off food packages to FIL to explain the directions. We've been talking a bit more about dyslexia with her. She saw Henry Winkler on TV talking about how he didn't know for so long about his dylsexia and I think she related.

 

So I just decided that's it. I'm ending my whining. I have good research skills. Finding out info for dh, MIL and my dear son is my strong point, and I need to get over it and get on with the work that's been put in front of me.

 

Here is what I really need help with: He is discouraged by how long tasks take him. He is a furniture maker (sorry if I am repeating info) and I see it affects him that he can't make things at the same pace as the classmates he graduated with. Even in school, he needed to go over the steps to use certain machines over and over again. I know this is a dyslexia thing, having issues with multi-step tasks and not having them become automatic. Does anyone have input on this?

 

[summerreading]

Big hugs...how does he do with audio books or text to speech?  If he could "read" books like Smart but Scattered, The Dyslexic Advantage, ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life, etc. through a media more accessible to him, it might help him to find a path that works better for him, instead of it all being on your shoulders.

 

We have Audible, he just hasn't listened to any even with me asking him.

[summerreading]

No diagnoses here, but I just wanted to throw out a few more thoughts.  

 

If your DH is resistant to reading the excellent book recommendations, or they just don't seem to fit him... He might get into reading some productivity blogs.  I can't name, other than Tim Ferris, any off the top of my head, but my DH is very into all of those guys.  He's gotten some great ideas, good advice, and made some life altering changes.  His life is organized, he is ahead of the game, and things just don't fall through the cracks - maybe he's grown up, but I attribute a lot to the techniques he's learned. I think the source of those ideas has been more motivating somehow, when they are coming from these places.  We notice that he's generally several years ahead (in ideas, techniques, etc) of the "higher up" in his company who prides himself on being cutting edge, following trends.  He's taken some classes, too, so maybe a coach is a great idea - but even if you can't find a real life coach, following some blogs about this topic might sort of feel like having a coach.  (Too bad your DH doesn't work with mine, he seems to find himself coaching people on this topic a lot lately, for free!)

 

We use a ton of reminders on our cell phones (we use iphones, so DH is always telling Seri to remind him to xyz at such and such an hour, or to add something to a list).  We use timers and sync calendars.  He does a lot more than this, plus all the zero inbox type stuff, but I can't name it all - being the unorganized, fly by the seat of my pants type.   :)

 

"Backtiming" is a joke in our house because of DH's colleagues, who are obsessive about this ... but we do it without thinking now - what time do I need to be at the airport?  When do I leave the house?  What do I do first, etc?  But it is a technique he had to learn, really, and thankfully I learned from him.  

 

Hmmmm.  I will have to tell him about this post.  A few years ago, I was so sick of Tim Ferris that the merest whisper of his name induced inward eye rolls and polite tuning out.  But man, do I see the changes that happened over time!

 

Anyway, not sure this is at all helpful, since it's not specifically dyslexia related, but this stuff did make changes happen here.  And if your DH is resistant, you could just find some cool blog posts and forward them mentioning that they sounded interesting and you were intrigued by [whatever topic seems pertinent].   :)

 

These are great suggestions, and I appreciate them. Backtiming sounds interesting.

 

But this is my exact issue. I can't show him blogs to read or blog posts to read because of the dyslexia. It's just too much effort for him to learn something in print. It has to be me, putting myself in his shoes, reading it, trying to recap it for him and then hope it sinks in.

I just have to have a heart-to-heart with him and say I really need you to watch this documentary or listen to this audiobook so we can work like a team.

Someone did mention a service that reads the internet to you. I think we need this too.

[PeterPan]

He might have some processing speed issues.  Processing speed can vary, even under the same label.  We had an employee in our business who was very intuitive but SO slow.  We could put him on jobs that benefited from his ability to slow down and be very precise, but you couldn't necessarily afford to have him work *every* job.  If he's going to start his own business, you might want to consider that, like pursuing custom work that needs the extra work and where the customer is able to pay for that extra level of whatever.  

 

This is just out there, because I don't actually know, but is there someplace that would do some career testing on him or other kind of testing and make suggestions? 

 

I went to a session with a couple EF coaches this weekend.  They labeled themselves "educational therapists" and their price point was $150 for the top lady, wow.   :svengo:   The other person's idea to use blogs is definitely cheaper.  Also, have you ever tried caffeine on him to see if it has a helpful effect?  One of the ETs was saying she has dyslexia+++ herself and that she medicates the attention side with caffeine.  Stimulant meds can, from what I've read, bump processing speed.  It sorta makes sense after you think about it, but most people don't think about it that way (low processing speed from the disability, want the symptoms to improve, take stimulant meds or caffeine).  Whatever, that works for her but isn't for everyone.

[Mom in High Heels]

:grouphug:

 

Have you heard of a Watchminder?  It's an assistive device on which you can set up to 30 single/repeating alarms.

 

Best wishes to you. 

 

 

I use my cell phone and run out of alarms and calendar reminders. This is a great idea. 

 

I so wish we could do this!  James Bond isn't allowed to take any electronic devices into his office (security reasons), so even if we set alarms, he won't know.  He's missed several dr appts because of this.  Grrr!  Our biggest issue is disorganization.  He's soooo very disorganized.  His disorganization spills over into every room, which makes the entire house disorganized and it's making me crazy.  He's tried to read books about disorganization and hoarding, but his dyslexia gets in the way.  I've read the books, and tried "dummy proofing" (one of the book's words, not mine), but they just end up getting disorganized, or he forgets to use them.  I put a key hangar for his keys right by the front door, and half the time he forgets to put his keys there, and then can't find them the next day.  This is despite the fact that he has to close the top safety latch (like the ones in hotels), so Han Solo doesn't open the door and wander off (he's done this before, but luckily we caught him before he got down the stairs of our front yard), and the key rack is right next to the door latch!

[summerreading]

Just wanted to update that hubby has been listening to The Dyslexic Advantage and is now more open to audiobooks in general. We have a bunch of Audible credit unused and he was picking things out for himself. progress!

[Cz mama]

I am so blessed to happen upon this thread!!! I have been realizing that my DH34 and my DS4.5 are dyslexic. With my husband, we have gone through the range of emotions (Why is he so smart in some areas, yet he cannot spell simple 4 letter words? Does he just not care?). Just yesterday I heard him say to my preschooler the word capitiller instead of caterpillar. We are planning on purchasing the Barton system in small chunks. I will be tutoring him. Although expensive, I believe that my 4 year old is very dyslexic (speech delay, blends letters and numbers still after much work, etc.). The people over at the Barton system are very helpful, and she has awesome videos online. Best wishes, and you're not alone! PS- I've found interesting that with both my husband and son, they are extremely hands on/inventive and have wonderful out-of-the-box ways of looking at things. Have a blessed day..

[summerreading]

I am so blessed to happen upon this thread!!! I have been realizing that my DH34 and my DS4.5 are dyslexic. With my husband, we have gone through the range of emotions (Why is he so smart in some areas, yet he cannot spell simple 4 letter words? Does he just not care?). Just yesterday I heard him say to my preschooler the word capitiller instead of caterpillar. We are planning on purchasing the Barton system in small chunks. I will be tutoring him. Although expensive, I believe that my 4 year old is very dyslexic (speech delay, blends letters and numbers still after much work, etc.). The people over at the Barton system are very helpful, and she has awesome videos online. Best wishes, and you're not alone! PS- I've found interesting that with both my husband and son, they are extremely hands on/inventive and have wonderful out-of-the-box ways of looking at things. Have a blessed day..

 

My dh makes up words all the time without realizing. Some are just too funny to not point out :)

Gotta have some fun with it.

[Cz mama]

My favorite one he says a lot is calling a curb a 'curve' which actually does make sense...lol. "You ran over the curve!"