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My heart is broken


Scarlett
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Got word that a former work mate had a massive stroke and his family made the decision to take him off life support lastnight. He and I were once best buds. He was a salesman in the field and I traveled to his home city in High Point NC several times a year for work. He would pick me up at the airport and take me to his house to have dinner with his wife and kids.

 

I quit that job when my son was born 13 years ago. We stayed in touch for a few years....once when ds was 2 or so he came to the factory for a meeting and he and I had lunch. But years pass and we drifted apart. Just a few months ago I heard he and his wife divorced a couple of years back. I meant to touch base with him then....but forgot.

 

Now I can't even remember the last time we emailed or talked. His kids are about 26 and 28 now. I don't know how to reach them or his xw. Someone from the factory is suppose to be finding out for me.

 

I just can't believe it. He was only 58.

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We had such good times together. We were a great team....I was his factory contact and had to make sure many things for many dealers were taken care of. One time he was looking for stock for one of his big dealers and there was none to be had. He said, who can I talk to about getting stock? I said, well you might try God because there is none here. He thought that was hilarious.

 

One time he was stomping his feet and demanding something and I said, hold on.. Let me click my heels together and make it happen for you. I still have the ruby slipper earrings he later bought me.

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I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you're able to make contact with his family. (did you do an internet search for him? you well may be able to find contact information that way. amazing what will come up . . . )

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I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you're able to make contact with his family. (did you do an internet search for him? you well may be able to find contact information that way. amazing what will come up . . . )

 

I did but I can't find any of them on fb .....I am sure both kids have cell phones only...and the xw.....a little afraid to reach out to her but surely she is grieving too.

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His life support was pulled last night about 9 and he died this morning about 3:00. I got his obit via email.....his ex wife wasnt mentioned at all...but fiancé was.

 

His xw is the one I want to reach out to. Is that...unwise? If your are an ex wife and he died...would you want to hear from the people who knew the two of you back in the day?

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Idk. I suppose it depends on the terms they divorced under and the state of their relationship at his death. Do you know any of that info?

 

His life support was pulled last night about 9 and he died this morning about 3:00. I got his obit via email.....his ex wife wasnt mentioned at all...but fiancé was.

 

His xw is the one I want to reach out to. Is that...unwise? If your are an ex wife and he died...would you want to hear from the people who knew the two of you back in the day?

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I think it would be nice to write to his ex-wife. However, I would only do that if I were writing to the current wife/fiance first. That just somehow seems more respectful of the man - that you honor and express sympathy with the woman he loved and planned to marry in addition to the woman you remember him with.

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I think it would be nice to write to his ex-wife. However, I would only do that if I were writing to the current wife/fiance first. That just somehow seems more respectful of the man - that you honor and express sympathy with the woman he loved and planned to marry in addition to the woman you remember him with.

 

But I don't know her. Never met her.

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Idk. I suppose it depends on the terms they divorced under and the state of their relationship at his death. Do you know any of that info?

 

A few months back I heard they had divorced two years ago. The talk was it was his fault....an affair. I don't know that for sure.....

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I'm so sorry for your loss. It is heartbreaking when someone dies too young. I would reach out to his xw. It doesn't seem like it was all that long ago that they divorced, and I would suppose her mourning would be largely ignored by the extended family - but it sounds like they were together a long time and definitely had some history. I think it would be a very nice gesture to send her a "thinking of you" type of card or note.

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