Is 11 to old?

[Mynyel]

My middle son is 11 and he has a couple stuffed animals that he still drags around and plays with like they are his friends. I don't have experience with boys. I had no brothers. My sisters boys are all significantly younger than my boy so they can't help.

 

I know my dh says he shouldn't be doing this. He is to old (Cuz he didn't do that at his age so, of course, ds shouldn't be doing it either :001_rolleyes: ). I don't know though. Ds has no friends. None. He doesn't want to participate in extra curriculars and even if he did we are limited by funds, distance, and willingness to do anything. Dh will not and I mean not take the kids anywhere. I was sick once and dd didn't get to go to karate because he didn't want to take her. Anyway I digress.

 

So when is it time to stop playing with stuffed animals with pretend play and such? I am tired of hearing he needs to go to public school to "act normal".

[texasmama]

I think he should be allowed to have his stuffed animals as long as he wants. Childhood is short. Why cut it shorter? He evidently has a need for these "friends", and I don't see any problem with it. In fact, I think it is very sweet.

 

The differences in parenting styles seem to be much more deeply rooted than stuffed animals, and I won't even attempt to address that.

 

My boys are 10 and 12 and don't take their stuffed animals around in public, but they both still sleep with treasured stuffed animals. They can have them as long as they want.

 

 

[mommymilkies]

It's totally normal. My brothers did it, my son does it. My 11 yo son even asked for another Waldorf pirate doll for Christmas. Nothing wrong with it. :)

[Mommy22alyns]

I don't see anything wrong with it. Becca still has treasured stuffed friends that she sleeps with and is playing Littlest Pet Shop or My Little Pony with Sylvia.

[momtokea]

I have an 11 year old boy and while he doesn't carry his stuffed animals around with him, he does have some that he loves and keeps in his room. He is somewhat immature (according to society's standards) in other ways, though.

 

My daughter carried around her favourite baby doll until she was 12. People told me that wasn't normal, but she's 15 now and somewhere along the way she discarded it on her own.

 

I think there are many 11 years old who would love to carry around their stuffed animals but wouldn't dare. Kids without peer pressure don't have these hang ups and mature naturally.

 

I played with my Barbies secretly in my basement until I was 13. Secretly, because I went to public school and had to protect my image LOL! My mom threw them out because she thought it wasn't normal :(

 

I say let your son mature naturally at his own pace. He won't be carrying his stuffed animals around on his graduation day or at his wedding ;)

[AimeeM]

Not too old in my book.

Autumn is almost 12, has friends and extracurriculars, and still plays with her AG dolls. *shrug*

[bobbeym]

DS15 still sleeps with an army of stuffed pandas, although he doesn't take them places with him anymore. But he does still request more. He says he can never have enough pandas.

 

It was only a couple years ago that DS19 put his stuffed dalmations safely into storage "for his future kids" he said.

 

I would say it's natural and to let him keep his animals until he's ready to let them go.

[warneral]

My two (11 and 9 in 2 days) play with theirs and bring them in the car etc. I'm in no hurry for them to be "above" childish play

 

I do think a child should have a friend or two.

[rdj2027]

Ahem, my then 15 year old had to have a particular teddy bear when we went to Universal Studios. My 12 year old has to rearrange his stuffed animals very night so he can find a spot in his bed to sleep. I don't even want to mention my 10 year old daughter who refuses to leave the house with at least one of her 576 best friends in tow.

I just happened to come across some photographs from my school years, I was surprised to see how many of my 10th grade friends held a stuffed animal in their hands; I had never noticed that before.

[Julie Smith]

My kids play with them. My Eldest more so than my Youngest. They have an older friend who is almost 11 who brings his favorite ones over when he comes to play.

 

When I was a kid the other kids I knew at this age didn't do this. I think it really just depends on the kids.

[J-rap]

They're too old when THEY decide they're too old, and even then it's often too soon in my book! ;-)

 

Some will decide they've outgrown things like that when they are younger and some when they are older. I'm pretty sure I slept with my giant stuffed Snoopy through high school.

[texasmama]

My mother gave me a pound puppy for my 19th birthday (at my request), and I slept with it until I got married, when I reluctantly gave it up. I was 25. I still have it. :)

[Paige]

My DS is 11 and still plays with stuffed animals all the time. It used to concern me because none of the boys I knew as a kid did that but now I don't care. I wonder if those boys just didn't play with them around me. My brother has a stuffed bear that he kept with him everywhere until he was uh...30? LOL! His bear is still in his room but I don't think he sleeps with him or puts him on his pillow anymore.

 

My DS makes elaborate games, forts, and inventions for his stuffies. I think it is good for him and it gives him something to do with his sisters as they like to play together.

 

I don't think public school would help him. He would probably act just the way he does now and then feel like he doesn't fit in, or he would put on an act to fit in which is soooo not healthy and can lead to more problems.

 

I would be concerned if my DS had no friends at 11, however, and would actively try to change that. Why can your DD go to karate but DS can't have an extra curricular? If it were my DS, I would pick something for him to do and make him do it. If left alone, my DS would be a hermit. I have to push him and make him go places but almost always he ends up having a good time and thanking me later. I'd make him try something a few times before deciding he doesn't like it or doesn't have to go back. It would be a priority for me to get DS involved in something where he could make friends.

[higginszoo]

My 12 year old still has one particular stuffed animal that gets played with/dragged around a lot (not constantly, but not rare, either). He has other animals and a baby doll that see more occasional play, including with the neighbor boys (12, 12, and 10). I don't think it's the norm for boys in this age group, but I don't think that it's terribly unusual, either.

[lllll]

..

[gardenmom5]

if he still wants to play with them - he is not too old. I promise, he will eventually retire them to a place of honor on a shelf. as long as he's developing normally, it's not a problem.

 

1dd was the one who had to have a replacement for her bear when she was in high school. he was literally falling apart and fabric getting worn through. even she eventually gave him and the replacement up to a box (after being on a shelf) but she had moved on to new and more interesting things. while the other's had fun with theirs - even the boys - they all moved on much faster.

[EKS]

I'd say that the stuffed animal thing is well within the realm of normal. But your aside about your son having no friends is concerning. Since you thought to include it, I'm guessing that you're concerned also. Park-type classes that meet a once or twice a week for six weeks for an hour or so are unlikely to help a reluctant child make friends. Do you have a co-op or public homeschool program in your area? Classes that meet regularly with the same kids all year (and year to year) are more likely to help a reluctant child make friends.