Do you have a "playroom"? and What are your rules about other kids in bedrooms?

[Guest]

I'm just trying to think through organizing some furniture. :)

 

Up to this year, we've lived in one story, smallish houses. We've had the kids toys in each of their rooms, and when people came over, they were young enough that we normally just brought a few things out for all the kids to play with. Well, we have moved to a two story and the kids are getting more friends. A lot of the families have older kids, as well. A couple of the families that we've become friends with have a rule of no kids in the bedrooms; they need to play in common areas. I kind of like that rule. We have been using our (good-sized) loft as a playroom. Everything is working fine, except I would like to organize my furniture a bit differently. I feel like we have everything in this loft and my kids rooms are bare! We are getting some new couches today and I want to bring the old set upstairs into the loft. I'm just looking at everything we have up here and wondering if we should keep it as a playroom? We have a huge toy kitchen that I am contemplating putting in my daughter's empty room, but I know that all the kids like to play with it, which wouldn't work if we have the no friends in bedroom rule. I guess what I am trying to figure out is: is the rule about no kids in the bedrooms common? If so, how do you handle other kids coming over? Do you have a playroom? I'm just curious how other families outside my "circle" handle this. Humor me, we didn't have people over when I was growing up and I really want to be an open, welcoming house for others.

[Parrothead]

No, no play room here. Dd's friends go outside or to her room to hang out (play in past times). The idea of having friends over is to free up my having to interact with children. They interact with each other. My job at that point is to relax a bit and provide snacks or meals as needed.

[Kathryn]

No, no play room here. Dd's friends go outside or to her room to hang out (play in past times). The idea of having friends over is to free up my having to interact with children. They interact with each other. My job at that point is to relax a bit and provide snacks or meals as needed.

 

Pretty much this, though we do have a playroom at the moment since the boys are together now. But, it's a bedroom. And I've never been to someone house who had a no bedroom rule.

[Samiam]

We have playroom, almost all toys are there. We don't necessarily have a rule about friends in bedrooms, but thus far there's been no reason too. I like having all the toys in one room, because my children's rooms never really get messy. A few things here or there to pick up, but never the completely trashed situation I've seen in other people's houses. Now the toy room, yes, trashed.

[K&Rs Mom]

No playroom, but we do have a parlor that has some toys, plus their bedrooms have toys. When they were younger, I mostly kept all visitors downstairs; now I let them play in bedrooms if they want, but doors stay open when there's company (unless someone is changing clothes). The open-door rule started when one was trying to keep the other out, and fingers almost got pinched in a slam, but it's stayed the rule for many reasons, and will continue when they're teens because they're already used to it.

[Dory]

We have no problem with other kids in the bedroom, although, if the child that stays in that room would rather not have people in his/her room, we respect their privacy. We do have an open door policy if they are playing with friends in their room so that I can hear them. Common toys are in the family room. Toys that are personally owned and special to them, they keep in their rooms and have the right to say no to other people playing with them.

 

We don't tolerate snitty attitudes though where they might pick and choose which kids will or will not play in their room or with their toys. It's an all or nothing. Leaving people feeling left out is unkind and self centered.

[Amy in NH]

All our kids share a room, and the almost all of the toys are in a separate playroom. We don't have a rule about not playing in the bedroom, but we do have rules about no-one else on the beds because 1) the bed is each person's personal space, and 2) we are concerned about safety with kids horsing around on the bunks.

 

I don't know if it makes a difference that there is no door on the bedroom?

[sparrow]

We've never really had a playroom, but we have a basement. No rules about kids in the bedroom. I'm with Parrothead. If there's a kid over, I'm all for them going to play/hang-out AWAY from me ;)

[Alenee]

We have an area the kids play in but if my youngest has a friend over, she tends to play with them in her bedroom. I'm all for them entertaining themselves away from me because it usually gets VERY loud and I have a low noise tolerance level. :) Our only bedroom rule is no boys and girls in a room with the door shut.

[Mom2OandE]

We don't have a playroom now but we did in the past. I miss it. Their rooms are always messy now. I liked having the stuff contained in the playroom.

[Tita Gidge]

No one here has his or her own bedroom, so while we don't have a steadfast "no kids in the bedroom" rule ... we do have it on a case-by-case basis, depending on which kid is over. Some kids are more respectful of what's off-limits in a shared room, and/or are friendly with the siblings my child-host shares with (so it's a non-issue). But some don't have experience sharing a room or space, and/or expectations at home to ask-before-touching something that belongs to another.

 

I'm happy to have these latter kids over to play, we just keep certain areas off-limits to them. I've found our rule of understanding to be sufficient for meeting a variety of situations. It's only proven problematic once, when my preschool daughter announced loudly and tactlessly: "Him {son's friend} can't go there {into my son's room}. Him always touching {my other son's} stuffs! NO 'LLOWED THERE EVER!"

 

We share bedrooms, so there isn't much room for play things. The kids keep a few personal favorites in their rooms, but for the most part our playing is in the common areas. Bedrooms are pretty much for quiet retreating and sleeping.

[Freckles]

When my kids were little we tried the playroom idea for a little while. It just became a big mess. We went back to separate bedrooms. And unless they are babies/toddlers, I've never allowed toys in the common areas except for special occasions. That may sound mean, but I need some adult space to live in. I've also always allowed them to shut their doors as well. They love having their doors shut now as teenagers. We aren't to boy/girl interactions yet. I'm sure my choices will change if needed.

[Amy in NH]

When my kids were little we tried the playroom idea for a little while. It just became a big mess. We went back to separate bedrooms. And unless they are babies/toddlers, I've never allowed toys in the common areas except for special occasions. That may sound mean, but I need some adult space to live in. I've also always allowed them to shut their doors as well. They love having their doors shut now as teenagers. We aren't to boy/girl interactions yet. I'm sure my choices will change if needed.

 

Yeah, this is one of the reasons we don't have a door on the bedroom. I don't want my teens not-participating in family life by closing themselves off like I did as a teen.

[Freckles]

 

Yeah, this is one of the reasons we don't have a door on the bedroom. I don't want my teens not-participating in family life by closing themselves off like I did as a teen.

 

I get it, but it doesn't bother me. I like my time alone too.

[Ottakee]

We do more of a no boys upstairs and no girls downstairs type thing. I have older kids and we often have foster kids with various backgrounds and needs as well as other kids that come over like big brother/big sister type stuff. It just works for our family and our situation.

[sparrow]

 

Yeah, this is one of the reasons we don't have a door on the bedroom. I don't want my teens not-participating in family life by closing themselves off like I did as a teen.

 

Your children don't have doors on their bedrooms? Do you have a door on your bedroom? I think everyone can use some privacy in a room that is not the same as where one eliminates.

[T'smom]

We have a playroom. There are also toys in the kids bedrooms and the basement. Hmmm, we may have too many toys! I've never told kids they couldn't play in bedrooms and I've never been to someone else's house where that is the rule. Maybe it's a regional thing? I do love having a playroom. We can throw the toys in there and close the door! In fact, if we have another child, we'll move the two olders into the same room just so we don't have to give up the playroom. I figure when they're old enough to really want their own space, they won't have as many toys and we can get rid of the playroom then.

[Amy in NH]

Your children don't have doors on their bedrooms? Do you have a door on your bedroom? I think everyone can use some privacy in a room that is not the same as where one eliminates.

 

 

Bedroom, and I didn't ask for anyone's opinion about it. It works for our family.

[Um_2_4]

We do not have a playroom, but we do have the no one upstairs rule (most of the time, there is one family that I don't mind if they go upstairs because her girls are as daughters to me).

We live far enough away from anyone we know that we don't have play dates where the parents leave, so I am entertaining the adults anyways,

DH has several friends who have kids with issues and do not listen and I want them under my sight (or their parent's sight). They can play outside or in the family room while adults are in the formal area of the downstairs. There is a wii there and if we know they are coming over, each of my DC brings down a basket to play with them (based on ages/b/g, etc). Or i set out craft supplies and they go at it at the eat in kitchen table (actually most kids who come over like that option).

[LMV]

We do have a playroom with an indoor playset and swings. Most toys are kept in the playroom and that is the usual go to spot to play for the younger kids when friends come over and it isn't nice enough to play outside. The swings are a bit unique so that tends to draw kids in there. We also have a large outdoor playset, several large yards, and an inground pool so usually if the weather permits everyone wants to go outside and play or swim.

 

One of our family rooms is modern (and I suppose a bit less personalized with family photos and treasures) so that (or our music room) tends to be where the pre-teen/teen crowd prefer to hang out.

 

I do allow friends (and even boyfriends in our oldest daughter's case if there is a good reason) in bedrooms but they need to leave the door open. Most of the time they do not spend a lot of time with friends in their bedrooms because other places are actually preferred to hang out. They do tend to hang out in their bedrooms for sleepovers when they are winding down before bed.

[Aspasia]

We have a play room and LOVE it. I honestly don't even know how we would divvy up the toys if we put them in bedrooms. We couldn't live without the playroom (though I could do without the weekly battle over cleaning it). We also don't have rules against friends in bedrooms.

 

Dd loves to show her friends her room, and she loves to see theirs. It's one of those things that just kind of expands a little kids' world, you know? What their little world is like is pretty much all they know. Seeing how other kids and families operate is fascinating to them. (And look, it's fascinating to us, too! That's why we have these forums!)

[prairiewindmomma]

We have a playroom. We have a no one but family in the bedrooms rule. Toys are rotated. Toys outside of the rotation (and special ones we don't share with friends) are locked in the toy closet. Toys must be picked up at the end of a playdate, or at the end of the day. No nerf guns shot at people, no throwing of toys, no disassembling of others' lego structures for parts without permission, no dangerous toys near baby. (Small bits are only allowed out of locked closet when baby is with mom.)

[Sandsam]

We have a playroom upstairs. It has a TV along with the toys. My 8 yr twins and my 15 yr dd all use that room for entertaining their friends. They are also allowed to bring friends into their bedrooms. I do have the 'no closed door' rule in our house.

 

We also have a 'no boys in the house' rule. :drool:

[SKL]

I like the idea of a no-guests-in-bedroom rule for a certain age range. When I was a kid, neighborhood kids weren't even allowed in the house (we played outside), so that wasn't an issue. But when my parents' friends came over with their kids, there was one family for whom the not-in-the-bedroom rule would have been ideal. I learned later that the kids had been molested by adult male relatives, so that must be why they were "creative" in a bad way. Anyhoo. My kids are 6 and they don't have kids over much. In fact, they've never had a boy over age 3 come to play. So it never crossed my mind to restrict play to "common areas only." They have a lot of toys and books in their bedroom. They also have a lot of toys and books in our "dining room" (we never eat there). They play in both rooms, depending on what interests them. Our last houseguest's kids were fascinated by the bunkbed and dress-up clothes, so they played quite a bit in the bedroom. I was just glad they were having a good time.

[Guest]

Thanks for all these thoughts! It's been a long, tiring day moving furniture around! :)

 

I ended up moving some toys to dd's room, moving one of the couches upstairs, and keeping the majority of the toys in the loft for now. For the no kids in the bedroom, I think we're going to stick to it for now. This isn't dd or ds having a special friend over. This is having 6-10 kids over, ages 5-15, boys and girls. We have had more than one incident with an older girl saying something or influencing my dd when they were playing in the bedroom away from the others, so I think it's for the best that everyone's together. It's good to know that most people don't have this rule, though.