How big of a deal is prom in your area?

[Samiam]

I'm just wondering. I grew up in a small town, and prom was a huge deal, in terms of everyone knew about it, you'd see the teenagers all over town that night dressed up, as they drove to parents/friends houses, or to restaurants out to eat. The after-party was a big deal, local businesses donating prizes, etc.

 

Over the years, as an adult, in another state then where I grew up, I've noticed prom nights as I'd happen to see the teenagers dressed up, out to eat, and think "Oh it must be prom".

 

So my DS14 is in 9th at a public high school. Knowing him, I pretty much figured he'd have no interest of anything prom related, so I wasn't expecting the whole thing to affect us. The one time I asked if he'd heard anything about Prom, he said he didnt' remember hearing anything about it (he's not big on remember details :glare: ). But that being said, he is attending the school, so I do pay attention to school events out of habit and interest.

 

 

The principal leaves a recorded phone message every week, just making annoucements for parents, and never once has prom been mentioned.

 

The school posts the daily announcements on the school website, and never once was prom mentioned.

 

I occassionally get emails from this PTA president or that Team Mom, etc asking for community donations, or volunteers for this or that..figure they'd be asking for chaperones, or donations for an after party, or raffle, etc.....never got anything related to Prom.

 

The PTA sends out a monthly newsletter, with minutes from the meeting, updates on PTA budget, etc, and it never mentioned Prom.

 

So DS's Biology teacher, who has an "Biology Facebook page" which I've "friended" (which I love, as she often posts class/homework updates on it, and it's all school-related, not her personal FB), had pictures of Prom this past weekend...she apparently chaperoned.

 

I was just surprised that it had happened already but it seems like the school didn't make a big deal out of it. Don't get me wrong, I love that...I hated the whole spectacle that is Prom in a small town, the popular cliques, the drinking etc.....so if the school isn't making Prom this whole big thing that makes people who don't go to Prom feel bad, awesome! Now, we do live in a much bigger city, which has about 10 high schools, all with about 1400 students, so a different situation than the small town environment I grew up in. Just surprised about how it seemed to come and go without mention from any of the "official" school communications.

[PrairieSong]

We are in a small town and yes, prom is a BIG deal. Families go to the high school and all watch the couples go inside. There is a huge after prom party with prizes. Our oldest was the only one to attend public high school. One weird thing was that--someone but I don't remember who, maybe student council members?--would go around to different classes and ask who did not have a prom date, and then they'd set these kids up with each other. That was how my shy dd got a date as a junior. (Freshmen and sophomores don't go to prom unless their date is an upperclassman.) I thought it was rather bizarre...like they have to make SURE everyone goes to prom. Or maybe more likely...that they assume everyone really wants to go, so they are helping making it happen.

 

I never understood the hugeness of it all...sure, have a dance...but spending hundreds on clothes, dinner, maybe a limo or who-knows-what??? :confused:

[Lisbeth]

It is handled in an average way here. We will likely stick w our Church prom...some of the behavior at the local school's prom was shocking...actual intercourse (can I say that?) ON the dance floor. Dirty dancing. General lewd behavior and barely-there dresses.

[lynn]

I really can't say. DS is a senior and has no interest in going and he;s a very social kid. He does not want to spend the $400. Smart kid. However he did attend 2 military balls for ROTC.

[lynn]

I really can't say. DS is a senior and has no interest in going and he;s a very social kid. He does not want to spend the $400. Smart kid. However he did attend 2 military balls for ROTC.

[Melissa in Australia]

they are not done at all in my area. instead the school does a debutante ball every second year for the girls turning 16.

[FaithManor]

In our area, they used to be big, huge, events. However, the economy has hit so bad that not only have donations been low the past couple of years so the junior class has had very little to work with, but it seems that parents are having to seriously prioritize and so are the teens. It's barely possible for a teen to get any kind of a paying job in this area because of the high unemployment rate of qualified adults. So, money is very tight. In addition, the local schools no longer pay for graduation/commencement out of the school budget. Students must pay $400.00 - 500.00 (depends on the school district). The yearbook costs $50.00 now as well. Parents are balking because wages have stagnated for many and been cut for many more. Something has to give. As it is, only 50% of any graduating class participates in commencement because of the cost charged to the student. So, prom participation is dropping even more. Slowly, it's becoming a ball for the haves and the havenots go have a pizza party somewhere else. Last year's prom numbers were low for certain.

 

In my day, the prom was absolutely, ridiculously over done and many students treated it as if it was going to be the end all, be all event of their entire lives. The parents seemed to go along with that.

 

The interesting thing is that it used to be advertised in the local paper. Not this year. The only way to find out when it was happening was to log into the school website. I will say that I do believe it's still a pretty big deal in the northern Detroit Burbs.

 

Faith

[Debbi in Texas]

Prom is a big event in our area, as it was where I graduated. Our church does a Prom event for an alternative. The girls still get to shop for a dress,some of the guys will get a tux. The gym is decorated, there will be pictures and entertainment and a nice meal. They love it.

[Renthead Mommy]

I grew up in a very small town (2 1/2 miles long by 4 blocks wide), but we were just outside NYC. Our proms were a bigger deal than our christmas formals (which were every year, vs prom which was only 11th and 12th grade). It was the traditional dinner and dancing with gowns and tuxes. Most people took limos. Proms were ususally held at the high end resturants where they specialized in weddings and that type of thing. 20 years ago tickets were only around $100 per couple so really reasonable. Our Christmas formals were only held at the Women's club and didn't include dinner. Still gowns and tuxs and limos, but it was slightly more casual.

 

Here I was shocked to find out the prom was held in the gym and guys will wear suit jackets and jeans or just a suit! There is no dinner and they said no one gets a limo. Might as well be just a regular friday night dace at that rate.

 

I guess I don't understand why the OP thought she would be hearing all this info on it. You son is only in 9th, so he couldn't attend unless an upperclassman asked him anyway. But why would they be sending home info? And what would they be looking for donations for? You just purchase your ticket. The ticket covers the plate cost, DJ, any decorations (which you really shouldn't need at a normal hall/resturant). You usually pay for the photos you choose after. The only info that went out for us was basically "Prom is this date. Tickes are $X and can be bought between y and z!" That was it.

[magnificent_baby]

Perhaps they don't make a big deal out of it to spare those not going from hurt feelings? Just a guess.

 

It's a big deal here, but I wouldn't say huge. Definitely WAY bigger deal than when I was in school. We did not go to another state to find our dress, rent party a party bus, or have the event at a fancy location. It was almost always at the school itself with post prom party at the bowling alley with a hypnotist.

[J-rap]

We live in a small town, and prom is kind of a big deal. Most, but not all, seniors go. But it's not over-the-top. Some girls will buy new, a lot of girls borrow from a an older relative or friend, some girls buy at the local thrift. Boys will often just wear suits that they already have, or borrow a tux from the school's jazz choir. Kids don't always go as couples, sometimes they'll go as a group. Dinner is at the prom itself (in the gym), and the whole thing costs $25.

 

They do have a "Grand March" which I've always thought was kind of funny. The whole community can come and watch as the kids enter and parade around the gym. I've never gone to that, even when my own kids attended the prom. (That part just seems too weird to me.)

 

But, the official prom event begins at 3:00 with a visit to our local nursing home. All the students start out there and visit with the residents. Then it's off to the Grand March after that. I like that they go to the nursing home. The residents seem to get a kick out of it.

[J-rap]

One weird thing was that--someone but I don't remember who, maybe student council members?--would go around to different classes and ask who did not have a prom date, and then they'd set these kids up with each other. That was how my shy dd got a date as a junior.

 

 

I actually kind of like that idea. I mean, I'm not a big fan of proms at all. But if a school is going to do it, at least they're trying to make sure that no one feels left out. (I'm assuming the student can say no if they really don't want to go!)

[Parrothead]

I've never noticed anything here about prom. I think there was a sign at the high school a week or so ago announcing the date. But since dd won't be going to that school it isn't something I'm too concerned about.

[Belacqua]

 

I actually kind of like that idea. I mean, I'm not a big fan of proms at all. But if a school is going to do it, at least they're trying to make sure that no one feels left out. (I'm assuming the student can say no if they really don't want to go!)

 

Heh. Good point; otherwise, you've got the makings of a YA dystopian novel.

[Samiam]

I guess I don't understand why the OP thought she would be hearing all this info on it. You son is only in 9th, so he couldn't attend unless an upperclassman asked him anyway. But why would they be sending home info? And what would they be looking for donations for? You just purchase your ticket. The ticket covers the plate cost, DJ, any decorations (which you really shouldn't need at a normal hall/resturant). You usually pay for the photos you choose after. The only info that went out for us was basically "Prom is this date. Tickes are $X and can be bought between y and z!" That was it.

I would guess the OP isn't hearing it from the school because of the age of the students and the sponsors being the junior class and their faculty advisors. Parents here do get one note home explaining the drug/alcohol-free nature of the event, the no-re-entry policy, and the date/time/place.

 

The all-night graduation party is sponsored by a parent committee, so parents are getting solicitations for contributions and volunteer jobs all year long.

 

Yes, what Heigh Ho said....the official after-prom party that I'm familiar with was a way to keep the children chaperoned, away from the drinking, etc that happens after the official Prom was over, so it is a fun time...games, activities, carnival like atmosphere, food, and lots and lots of prizes and giveaways....so the community businesses were solicited for donations, which means also asking if any parents are associated with businesses that can donate, parents requested to be chaperones, etc.

 

So while I didn't expect my son to go to prom 1. because he is a freshman, and 2. he has no interest, I still thought I would have heard/read annoucements regarding cost, rules, donations, etc....because the school doesn't really know WHO is going with who...a freshman could potentially go with an older student...so why not solicit/announce to the whole school community....just what I was thinking would happen based on my school experience. So just the fact that I read/heard nothing about prom at all struck me as odd.

[Renthead Mommy]

Yes, what Heigh Ho said....the official after-prom party that I'm familiar with was a way to keep the children chaperoned, away from the drinking, etc that happens after the official Prom was over, so it is a fun time...games, activities, carnival like atmosphere, food, and lots and lots of prizes and giveaways....so the community businesses were solicited for donations, which means also asking if any parents are associated with businesses that can donate, parents requested to be chaperones, etc.

 

So while I didn't expect my son to go to prom 1. because he is a freshman, and 2. he has no interest, I still thought I would have heard/read annoucements regarding cost, rules, donations, etc....because the school doesn't really know WHO is going with who...a freshman could potentially go with an older student...so why not solicit/announce to the whole school community....just what I was thinking would happen based on my school experience. So just the fact that I read/heard nothing about prom at all struck me as odd.

 

 

 

That makes more sense. We never had after prom parties. Our tradition was to head down to everyone's shore house either that night or the next day. They do a huge all night post graduation party. Starts off in the country club, so you are still in your formal wear, then you go home and change into whatever fits the theme for the year for the tent party followed by the breakfast pool party. Then everyone sleeps before heading down for shore week.

 

If they started doing after prom parties for the OP's reasons, then they'd need to do it as well for the christmas formal, and well then including graduation, that would be three things like that a year which I could see as way too much to try and pull together.

[Annie G]

 

They do have a "Grand March" which I've always thought was kind of funny. The whole community can come and watch as the kids enter and parade around the gym. I've never gone to that, even when my own kids attended the prom. (That part just seems too weird to me.)

 

But, the official prom event begins at 3:00 with a visit to our local nursing home. All the students start out there and visit with the residents. Then it's off to the Grand March after that. I like that they go to the nursing home. The residents seem to get a kick out of it.

 

 

 

Our prom is held at the Masonic Temple and they have a Grand March outside at 9 PM- it's always seemed so weird to me and we never went either. People we know go every year even if they don't have kids at the prom!

 

But I kind of love that your school's kids go by the nursing home- that's cool.

[Heather in Neverland]

It is not only a big deal, it is THE big deal of the year here!

[kewb]

I think it is a fairly big deal around here. I only know of its happening when I see neighbor teens in their prom attire and he picture explosion on facebook. There seems to be limos, new prom dresses, tuxedos, a catering hall and dj. Pics galore at various parents houses and a large gathering outside the highschool for additional photo ops. The after prom parties involve hotel room in the city, or cabin in the mountains, or shore house.

 

When I was in high school the students certainly treated it like the most important night of your life and if you didn't have a date-well, you were a total loser. And they certainly did their best to make you feel like one. And if you didn't want to go to prom-sour grapes for not having a date. Everyone wants to go to prom. No one went solo or as a group of friends. No date meant you did not go to prom. After prom everyone would head to the beach to watch the sunrise and then go out for breakfast.

[Erin]

Price? Tickets? I've never heard of paying to go to the Prom. The junior class is usually in charge of putting it on and it'll be in the school's gym. Post/After Prom is the party after the band packs up. There are games and prizes and food (staffed by parent volunteers) until 5 or 6AM when they close up shop and it's at the school, too. Basically, once they're in the building, kids are locked in so they can't go off drinking somewhere and come back. ;)

 

Something odd out here that I didn't ever see growing up: Kids can't participate in Grand March unless they have dates. And really, they're discouraged from coming at all if they don't have dates. :confused1:

For both my junior and senior proms, I went with a bunch of girl friends. If my kids go to high school here, their father and I will be pushing for a change in the date-rule. That's just ridiculous!

[Renthead Mommy]

Price? Tickets? I've never heard of paying to go to the Prom. The junior class is usually in charge of putting it on and it'll be in the school's gym. Post/After Prom is the party after the band packs up. There are games and prizes and food (staffed by parent volunteers) until 5 or 6AM when they close up shop and it's at the school, too. Basically, once they're in the building, kids are locked in so they can't go off drinking somewhere and come back. ;)

 

Something odd out here that I didn't ever see growing up: Kids can't participate in Grand March unless they have dates. And really, they're discouraged from coming at all if they don't have dates. :confused1:

For both my junior and senior proms, I went with a bunch of girl friends. If my kids go to high school here, their father and I will be pushing for a change in the date-rule. That's just ridiculous!

 

 

How do you go to prom without a date? I have never heard of that until this thread! A casual friday night dance, sure. But you are usually wearing what you wore to school that day. But prom? Actually I guess you could go as friends, but you'd still be a 'couple' because you buy tickets per couple. Doesn't mean two girls are dating, but they would still be going in under one ticket.

[Erin]

Like I said, there are no tickets or price to pay to go to prom. That's a city thing where they have fancy venues and limos and such.

 

Generally speaking, on the rural plains, the Junior class does money-making projects throughout high school to pay for their prom. The seniors are their guests.

 

ETA: Upon further thought, I know some schools require a type of ticket for the head count for supper, but it's not really an additional cost, at least not a significant one.

[Samiam]

 

 

 

How do you go to prom without a date? I have never heard of that until this thread! A casual friday night dance, sure. But you are usually wearing what you wore to school that day. But prom? Actually I guess you could go as friends, but you'd still be a 'couple' because you buy tickets per couple. Doesn't mean two girls are dating, but they would still be going in under one ticket.

 

Lots of kids go without dates. Not even as a "friend couple". ... Usually a group of friends, sometimes all girls, or all boys, or a mix, just all go as a group. I've never heard of prom being free, even in my school, 21 years ago, prom had tickets to be purchased. and that wasn't a city thing, that was a small country town in the Midwest, didn't get any more "rural plains" then where I come from.

[Renthead Mommy]

Lots of kids go without dates. Not even as a "friend couple". ... Usually a group of friends, sometimes all girls, or all boys, or a mix, just all go as a group. I've never heard of prom being free, even in my school, 21 years ago, prom had tickets to be purchased. and that wasn't a city thing, that was a small country town in the Midwest, didn't get any more "rural plains" then where I come from.

 

 

 

I have never heard of that before. That just seems odd.

 

I've hear of schools not letting gay couples go as a couple, as well as letting them go. But they were still couples. But never as single prom dates. They sell the tickets individually? And if you are all singles, how do they set up the seating chart?

 

We all went in groups (it makes the limos cheaper). And you were not necessarily dating your 'date'. You could easily just be friends, but you still had to be a 'couple'.

[Samiam]

Seating chart?? At the prom? There were tables and chairs if you wanted to sit and take a break/chat...nothing assigned...most people were dancing, mingling, etc. Sitting was random. Funny how things are different around the country!

[Renthead Mommy]

But what about dinner? I mean you have to have a seating chart. Otherwise how would the wait staff know who got beef, chicken or veg meals?

[AnIslandGirl]

Seating chart?? At the prom? There were tables and chairs if you wanted to sit and take a break/chat...nothing assigned...most people were dancing, mingling, etc. Sitting was random. Funny how things are different around the country!

 

Proms around here are on par with weddings as far as the formality goes (spa day, deisigner gown, limo, the works!). When you purchase your tickets in the office, there is a seating chart that you sign up for the table you want to sit at. Most couples get a bunch of friends to purchase tickets together assuring that they sit together.

[Samiam]

The people going to prom go out to eat before the prom, that's something they do on their own.. Often they will pick fancy restaurants. My DH and I laughed one night , remembering when we were in high school, Olive Garden was considered prom worthy for dinner. Then everyone went to prom. Then most people went to the after-prom party....even students who didn't go to the actual prom would come to the after prom party.

[linders]

Practice for the high-end wedding from what I see... :glare:

[Erin]

But what about dinner? I mean you have to have a seating chart. Otherwise how would the wait staff know who got beef, chicken or veg meals?

Wait staff??

Everywhere I've ever known has sophomore servers. Ie, a handful of select sophomores (popularity contest, of course) get to come to prom to serve supper, then stay for the dance.

But they know all of the upper-classmen, so why would there need to be seating chart?

[Renthead Mommy]

Wait staff??

Everywhere I've ever known has sophomore servers. Ie, a handful of select sophomores (popularity contest, of course) get to come to prom to serve supper, then stay for the dance.

But they know all of the upper-classmen, so why would there need to be seating chart?

 

 

 

You need a seating chart just like you do for wedding receptions. You have to know who ordered the beef and who ordered the chicken and who ordered the veggie meal. When you buy your tickets you usually pick your meal. Like when you send in your RSVP card for the reception. You mark your meal choices.

 

 

 

Never heard of anything close to what you are talking about with underclassmen serving. What banquet hall is going to let students that don't work there serve?

[Erin]

did you read my entire first post?

 

Price? Tickets? I've never heard of paying to go to the Prom. The junior class is usually in charge of putting it on and it'll be in the school's gym.

PS: Of the weddings I've been to over the years, I've never been to one of those that had a seating chart, either. ;)

[Renthead Mommy]

did you read my entire first post?

 

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PS: Of the weddings I've been to over the years, I've never been to one of those that had a seating chart, either. ;)

 

 

 

I did, but there have been a lot of hours since then.

 

I'd have a hard time sitting around a gym and thinking "prom" on that. Regular Friday night dance, sure, but not prom. I guess until this thread I had no idea they still did proms in school gyms. I've only ever seen that in high school horror movies, usually from the late 70's early 80's.

[Erin]

Like I said, fancy venues are for city kids. ;)