How long into your homeschooling journey before you really felt "settled"?

[AimeeM]

I'm sure several have seen my posts about possibly sending dd back to school for sanity (both of us). She seems unhappy and I feel stressed. She was pulled from brick and mortar at the end of grade 4 (and she was happy to come home; this was her first try at a public school and she hated it).

Thing is, she misses Catholic school so much, I'm overwhelmed with the two younger boys...

 

and I still don't feel SETTLED. Like I haven't found my homeschooling "bearings" yet. She's been home for 2 years now, but I still feel like we have no "flow" and that's a huge part of the problem. We get into a great routine and then something happens (like the birth of our youngest) and BOOM, everything falls apart. Routine is impossible right now with a growing infant - his schedule changes as he grows and I'm finding it impossible to schedule work on any level because his nap needs change weekly, he has growth spurts where he needs to be fed more frequently, teething needs to be addressed and comforted, etc, etc, etc... lol.

 

No consistency drives my eldest batty and I know this contributes to her unhappiness at home. Most of her work is still parent intensive (dyslexic; even with her good subjects like math and science, she often needs help reading and understanding the directions or explanations of new concepts before she can do the assignment, even in "independent" subjects).

 

I'm open to advice. I want this to work. When will it feel more... settled? Less like semi-organized chaos and more like a home where children happen to do their lessons also?

 

(I did start another meetup group to find more friends and opportunities for my eldest too, referencing an earlier post I'd made)

[Snow]

:bigear:

 

I'm sorry it has been hard for you. im a newbie this year and cant wait until i feel like a little bit of solid ground under my feet.

[briansmama]

I'd tighten up your daily rhythm. For us, that is everything. Can you make it a point to stay home for 2 weeks or so to implement a solid routine? I know that car rides, etc really threw off our day when we had an infant. Even a 20min car ride meant a solid afternoon nap wasn't going to happen because the baby would fall asleep just long enough to rejuvenate.

 

I'd really try to work on getting the baby to take a good morning and afternoon nap. You could use the morning nap to work 1:1 with your oldest and the afternoon nap can be a good time for her to do her independent reading in her room while you take a break.

 

For me, this would make all the difference.

[elegantlion]

Even with only one, it took about 3 years to feel settled. We started homeschooling with the intent to put ds back into private school. During the 3rd year we made the decision to keep homeschooling, that helped and the next year had better flow.

[Ellie]

Three or four. :-)

[lovemykids]

Luckily, we have been homeschooling from the beginning. And I had to learn right off the bat how to deal with my right-brained dd (who is now in 8th grade). It did take some time, and many curricula switches to get into a groove (lol). Even now, I am constantly rethinking things. I reevaluate every year and make changes as necessary.

 

I have never been one that operates well on a strict schedule. Life changes often and we try to go with the flow. I do try to implement a general schedule, like start at this time, work on certain subjects for blocks of time..etc. That’s as scheduled as we get.

 

I would rethink my homeschool curricula in a situation like yours as well. My dyslexic/ VSL/ ADD dd needed about two years of prealgebra before she could really get it and move into algebra independently. We took several months off of math one year, just to give her a break and to let her get caught up in other subjects. I also think we dropped grammar at some point, it was the year we were doing the teacher intensive Shurley English and it just wasn’t working. You can make adjustments as needed, that’s the great thing about homeschooling.

 

ETA-

I forgot to add that at your dd’s age it’s perfectly fine to do a more relaxed form of history and science, and/or drop them for awhile as well. Everything will be repeated so it’s hard to get behind in those subjects. You can hand her a book or two, and watch some videos, do a project or an experiment. Make it very low key…and then just discuss what she has learned while you are making dinner or driving.

 

I also understand though, that your dd may just miss school… and in that case- maybe she would be happier there.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide! :grouphug:

[AimeeM]

With the exception of doctor's appointments and evening ballet classes (for dd), we generally are at home during the day.

The little one (new babe) is an enigma to me. He is by far my most... adventurous child, lol. He very literally needs attention at all times - not because he wants it, but because he will, without a doubt, find something to climb on (and fall off), eat (that he shouldn't eat), or find some way to hurt himself. He's... busy :p

He is pretty consistent with when he takes his naps, but when he's teething, that often doesn't last long enough to even complete one subject (he wakes crying and gnawing, wanting some relief).

We've dropped everything for the rest of this year but for language arts and math. Next year those dropped subjects will need to be picked back up - science because it's her favorite subject, history because she hates it but will not read anything, willingly, and retain from it unless there's an assignment attached. She isn't one for living books and much prefers textbooks (and only reads anything if it's assigned - she isn't a pleasure reader on any level).

 

I know we'll get in a groove at some point, I'm just ready to pull my hair out waiting for the "when", lol! The babe will get older and more sturdy, meaning that I won't have to have him attached to me at all times; my middle will become less loud and able to integrate into "lessons" more over the years, and maybe... maybe... one day my hormone riddled preteen will realize that I'm not trying to torture her by requiring lessons, lol. One day :D

[SunnyDays]

As you probably know, my son is 10 and also pulled from public school, 3rd grade for us. So we've had some of the same transition, consistency, and "flow" issues. The difference is that it's just him. Last year (our first) was rough, this year has been better, and I finally feel *good* about what I've chosen for curricula and such for next year. I think a question to ask is, with your DD, what are your long term plans? From previous posts, it sounds like she will be returning to Catholic school at some point, but more a matter of when? If she wants to be home, and you want her home for longer, then there have got to be some good ways of managing things to gain consistency. (But I'll leave it to moms of more than one to tell you what those are, LOL!!) But, if she wants to return to school and/or you want/need her to return, there's nothing wrong with that either. I hope you are able to arrive at a comfortable decision for everyone. :grouphug:

[AimeeM]

As you probably know, my son is 10 and also pulled from public school, 3rd grade for us. So we've had some of the same transition, consistency, and "flow" issues. The difference is that it's just him. Last year (our first) was rough, this year has been better, and I finally feel *good* about what I've chosen for curricula and such for next year. I think a question to ask is, with your DD, what are your long term plans? From previous posts, it sounds like she will be returning to Catholic school at some point, but more a matter of when? If she wants to be home, and you want her home for longer, then there have got to be some good ways of managing things to gain consistency. (But I'll leave it to moms of more than one to tell you what those are, LOL!!) But, if she wants to return to school and/or you want/need her to return, there's nothing wrong with that either. I hope you are able to arrive at a comfortable decision for everyone. :grouphug:

 

Logically, I know that her returning next year is a no-go. She simply isn't at a place in language arts where I feel comfortable sending her to a school with almost no support for children with learning disabilities (and while they do have a program, it's brand-spankin'-new and I'm not into "new", lol). So, at least next year, she needs to be home. I just want this feeling of chaos to settle, lol. She needs more time with her age peers (and that is something I'm actively working on) in a non-structured environment (ballet is too structured to be considered "quality time with peers"). Here's to hoping the group takes off :D

[texasmama]

We are finishing up our fifth year homeschooling. It was at about a year and a half before I felt like I had my legs under me regarding homeschooling. Then, the next year, dd was added to the mix (had been in preschool). Readjustment. Then a year and a half ago, I went to work full time for 9 months. Readjustment. Big readjustment. I have worked part time since then. More readjustment. No one is dying to go to school here, but I have kind of stopped looking for the stable, settled part of my life as long as there are so many moving parts. We go year to year, doing the best we can, and it is really working out pretty well for all of us, in spite of the adjustments. I don't know if this helps you at all, but I have felt better since I have let go of some of the expectations of how I should feel.

[Mom2TheTeam]

I'm only in my second year of HS'ing. (Technically my 3rd if you count the pre-K year where we did a little, but not much.) My oldest is 7 and in 1st grade. I'm also doing K with twins. So, I probably can't help much with when people felt settled because I'm still new at this. But, with handling HS'ing and an infant/toddler....I can definitely give you some tips. I have 6 kids all 7 and under, including 2 sets of twins ages 5 and 2. I also have the already mentioned 7 year old and a 5 month old. I've had to learn how to get things done with little ones underfoot. ;) It sounds like your infant is around 9/10 months.

 

1. You need to plan to use both am and pm naps to get schooling done. Personally, I strongly dislike it. I really like using the afternoon nap as my break, but reality is, if I don't use that time for school, it won"t get done.

 

2. Does you little one spend any time in a pack n play, playpin or playyard? If not, I would work on teaching that. Baby can play happily, safely and out of trouble for 30 or more minutes while you work with the older. Some things I have found to making this the best success...1. get a small basket to put the toys in and put that in one corner of the contained area. Let baby explore the basket and take things out. Put them back in after each play session. 2. rotate the toys every day or two. 3. figure out whether baby is happier if he can see you or happier if he can't. I've had both. Some of my babies wanted to be able to see me. Others if they could see me, they wanted out. If baby is happier not seeing you, find a place where you can still easily hear (and easily peek) and put the area there. To implement this, start with 5 minutes and add 5 minutes every few days till you are up to 30+ minutes. If you start this now, your 2 year old will still be willing to do it. (Mine are almost 3 and one climbs out of our gated playroom after a while, but they will both still play in there happily for a little while.) I have a gated playroom in my house, but I've had 2 sets of twins and they are only 27 months apart. Containment is key to safety and sanity in my house. I also have one of these. There are other versions similar and possibly cheaper. We take it other places...like the beach and camping. :) Anyway, this will give you 30 minutes or so of time with your oldest while baby is awake.

 

3. Use snack time. If you give your baby a snack in his highchair, while the baby is eating, you can teach.

 

ETA - You can also put your baby in his highchair when he isn't eating and give him some toys or books. It is the same idea as the pack and play. Happy, safe and contained.

 

4. Use breakfast and lunch for read aloud time. Have everyone at the table (or in the highchair) and read to them while they eat.

 

5. Nurse/feed baby while you teach even on the couch. I do this all the time. Personally, I really prefer to nurse on the couch and don't like trying to do anything. But, with baby nursing every 1.5-2 hrs and sometimes randomly, I've had to learn to adapt. I prefer to do something that is mostly reading on my part or sitting next to my kids and directing them, but I've also done phonics or math using a small white board. Of course, I do know doing this with an older nursling is not as easy, but it's definitely worth a try at least sometimes.

 

6. If your 3 year old doesn't take a nap anymore, I'd set up an afternoon quiet time. If you can have your 3 year old take a quiet time while the baby is napping, you'll have that time with no distractions.

 

And, lastly, you probably need to lower your expectations. You can get into a routine, but it is going to be derailed often. It is the season of life. If you don't school year round, you might consider it. I do it specifically so that when we get derailed I don't have to stress about it. It's really hard for us to get behind because I'm not trying to get it all done in 9 months, but rather I have 12 months to get 9 months of work done. It takes a lot of the stress off. We take lots of days off, usually unplanned and because of my infant or 2 year olds. I don't worry about it. We still go on vacations and do fun things in the summer, but when we aren't doing something fun, we keep going with school.

 

I know it's hard to do this with little kids around constantly derailing everything. You definitely are not alone in that struggle. My 2 year olds are really making it very hard for us to school right now. It is frustrating and discouraging. But, it won't last forever. It's a season and it will pass. Hang in there and keep pushing. You can do it!

[Mommy22alyns]

Probably about 4. I had to adjust when Sylvia became a full time student, but I feel like by her first grade year, we had most of our subjects settled and I was incorporating both girls well.

[Mom2OandE]

What about making her a diy science kit. I'm doing one for summer for my kids. I put a manual with simple experiments and supplies and let them have at it. This way they can keep doing what they love and I get a break!

[PachiSusan]

I am sorry to say that for me it's a fluid process. There are days where I feel fully settled and others where I want to run anywhere but start school on that day. Overall, I felt good about our decision around 1st grade. (We started in K)

[Mandy in TN]

Let's see. I felt incredible relief from the moment we decided to not to send the big boys back to school. However, that is not the same as settled. I pulled my big boys out of school after 2nd and 4th. They are now 19 and 21, so I only have my 10yo left. I still have days when I wonder if I am doing it right. I still have days when I am sure my second ds would have been better served or at least would have done just as well in a traditional brick and mortar high school. However, I suppose that I would be saying the same about a traditional classroom if I had sent him. :)

 

As a lifestyle, I am very, very happy with home education. I would definitely use the term homeschooler in a definition of myself. So, while I may have worries or concerns, homeschooling does not cause me any more stress than traditional school and I guess I am as settled as I am ever going to be.

 

I think that this is the way I have felt from the beginning, but we did decide whether or not to homeschool on a yearly basis until my oldest hit high school. I gave both the big boys the choice of attending a traditional high school. I wanted them to understand that homeschooling high school was a 4 year gig and I didn't want to homeschool a teen who didn't want to be at home. :)

 

HTH-

Mandy

[boscopup]

My third year has been great. We've found our groove. BUT... my youngest was *3*, not a baby/toddler anymore. I think that made a huge difference. :)

[NASDAQ]

A year. But they were never in school and I had always intended to home school them.

[Incognito]

I don't feel "settled" two years in, but I do feel a contentment this second year that I didn't feel the first year. I think because I've done it for a year and my kids weren't destroyed or something, I'm able to lighten up a bit and not be bothered as much that life interrupts more than I expect it to.

 

I do keep thinking that as they age we will have more and more structure to it all, so if that doesn't happen I'm sure I'll continue to feel unsettled - but for now they are learning (keeping on par with grade level in all things except handwriting), excelling (learning lots of stuff they wouldn't in the classroom) and loving being with one another (having positive, healthy sibling relationships is a very high priority for me in our family). I am content in the midst of the madness. For now. :)

[Peplophoros]

My third year has been great. We've found our groove. BUT... my youngest was *3*, not a baby/toddler anymore. I think that made a huge difference. :)

 

 

 

I totally agree. My youngest is 15 months, so he's not nursing as frequently and can now walk on his own, so I'm a little more physically free, which is a big help. We're 2.5 years into homeschooling and I see the light at the end of the tunnel! I think next year is going to be great! I did NOT feel this way this time last year: I was sure I was going to send my older two to school (I had a 4 month-old this time last year). Chin up! The baby WILL get older and life WILL get easier!

[Sameera]

Bringing school at home does not work. Plan ahead. Be clear on your objectives & persevere. Remember that you are not alone. Focus on the most important, or difficult tasks, the rest will flow

 

~ Learning is a life-long journey. Enjoy.

 

http://simplycharlot...lanning-series/

 

http://simplycharlot...he-big-picture/

 

[freeindeed]

This is our seventh year and it has been the best and smoothest. It took me this long to find the right curriculum for each child, as well as a great schedule.

[Night Elf]

Year 1: very nervous, documented every little thing even when it wasn't required by the state

Year 2: started curriculum hopping looking for the perfect one, stopped documenting like a mad woman

Year 3: totally laid back. I felt like a veteran.

 

I've homeschooled 12 years now.

[kristinannie]

If your daughter just needs help with instructions, maybe you can schedule a couple of meetings during the day (great to do while breastfeeding) to go over what she has to do and field any questions. That way, she can work more independently.

 

I saw in MOTH a good suggestion to schedule times throughout the day where one child watches the littles and plays with them. This way you could have some great one-on-one time with another child. I have found that my oldest needs it to be really quiet for math and phonics so I have arranged that.

 

If things are going well when there isn't a newborn,I think you are fine! We have smooth periods and rough periods and I don't have a newborn! Some really rough days, I will just do seatwork or just do read alouds. When you know you will have a huge schedule problem (like when you have a baby), maybe that is a good time to listen to audiobooks and/our do some video or online classes just to give you a break.

 

I will pray for you! This is normal when you have a baby! Schooling is a way of life and not a race. Different seasons in life are different. We school year round so when we hit those seasons (like when I was suck for a few months last fall) I don't feel too bad!

[JenC3]

This is year 5 and I feel like we have a good groove, but my 4 yr old is gone at preschool in the morning and that is major. She will also do half day Kindy next fall. When the new baby arrives we'll be almost done with the year for my older and done for my younger, we will however start back up and do as much of our new year as possible. Now, when the babe is mobile, i'll hire a mother's helper for several days a week. Yes, it's an expense, but much cheaper than private school.

[Runningmom80]

With the exception of doctor's appointments and evening ballet classes (for dd), we generally are at home during the day.

The little one (new babe) is an enigma to me. He is by far my most... adventurous child, lol. He very literally needs attention at all times - not because he wants it, but because he will, without a doubt, find something to climb on (and fall off), eat (that he shouldn't eat), or find some way to hurt himself. He's... busy :p

He is pretty consistent with when he takes his naps, but when he's teething, that often doesn't last long enough to even complete one subject (he wakes crying and gnawing, wanting some relief).

We've dropped everything for the rest of this year but for language arts and math. Next year those dropped subjects will need to be picked back up - science because it's her favorite subject, history because she hates it but will not read anything, willingly, and retain from it unless there's an assignment attached. She isn't one for living books and much prefers textbooks (and only reads anything if it's assigned - she isn't a pleasure reader on any level).

 

I know we'll get in a groove at some point, I'm just ready to pull my hair out waiting for the "when", lol! The babe will get older and more sturdy, meaning that I won't have to have him attached to me at all times; my middle will become less loud and able to integrate into "lessons" more over the years, and maybe... maybe... one day my hormone riddled preteen will realize that I'm not trying to torture her by requiring lessons, lol. One day :D

 

 

My twins were/are like your youngest. Especially my dd. what I ended up doing was baby proofing the heck out of my house. The living room became their space and I gated everything off. I still had to watch them obviously, but it saved some of my sanity. Then I could work for a little while with older DS, or just be able to pay him 5 minutes of attention without one of them tetering near death. ;)

[Hedgehogs4]

This is our seventh year and it has been the best and smoothest. It took me this long to find the right curriculum for each child, as well as a great schedule.

 

 

and who knows if it will all work next year? I hope so for your sake, but really, I sense the theme here of constant fluctuation and readjustment. I know that it took us three years to know who we really were as a homeschooling family, and since then things have been much smoother, but I'm constantly struggling with routine, changes, and curriculum tweaks. We are not doing school...we are educating while in the midst of living busy lives. Furthermore, we compare our progress to a brick and mortar, scheduled, programmed institution. I think that sometimes we need to sit down with our kids and remind them that we are not trying to be a school. Perhaps part of her routine needs to be helping you with the siblings and doing some chores so that your hands can then later be free to sit and work with her on something she really needs help with. Sometimes communication with our kids goes a long way to helping them grasp what the differences are between "school" and "education." Then ask which they really want.

[PentecostalMom]

What do you mean by settled? Knowing this is what we are supposed to be doing? Content where we are? Or feeling like you "have it all together"? I have been hsing 13 years with no intent of ever sending my dc to any school, public or private. I never feel like we are basically gliding along, but I do know that I know that this is what our family is supposed to be doing. We just roll with the punches. We have lived in three countries, four states, had babies all over the place, been through an extended deployment (18 months), and have moved six times in the last four years. I still know that we are supposed to keep our children at home, raise them, and educate them.

 

Sometimes it is hard. When I had teens sometimes I wanted to cry, scream, and get drunk (and I don't even drink!!) and all at the same time! I still didn't quit. We are in this for the long haul. Just today, my toddler pulled an entire bowl on cereal with milk off of the table and it went everywhere, my 3yo started spitting at her sister and throwing colored pencils when she was angry, my just-turned-7yo decided to draw a picture on the wall, and on and on.

 

The two girls have strep throat, and my dh is gone about 11 hours a day, from about 11-11:30am to 10:30pm. We still managed to get most of our school done, the house looks presentable, and I managed two loads of laundry. One was two twin comforters, but whatever! You see, you have to be sure that this is what you want for your family and that you are committed, even when it's hard.