Crawling back for more food ideas... Again! How much is average?

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I seriously cannot take this food carp much longer.

 

I went food shopping last saturday evening. I bought enough food for the week. Planned it out and thought i separated well and made enough choices. But it's Thursday and we have almost nothing that ds will eat (i have money, no starving over here).

 

I've also tried going to the store every morning for a day of food but that bombs as well.

 

I've gone every few days. And I've even tried once a month.

 

At this point I'm considering locking up the kitchen and only pulling out planned meals and snacks. I really don't want to control food like that, but the kids (especially ds) have a ton of control over everything and everything surrounds food.

 

I tried tracking ds's hunger complaints because i think part of it is attention and oral sensory seeking, but it failed because my behavior changed just by tracking. My data is useless. I do know that the days he complains less are the days we have plenty of his favorite nutrient-less foods.

 

Ds refuses food AND eats everything we have! How is this possible? I think I'm buying less and less of different foods that dd and i like and catering to ds out of fear of weight loss. I don't remember the last time i made something new for dinner, or even some of dd's favorites.

 

I bought 3 loaves of bread. One out, 2 in the freezer. They were gone yesterday morning. Ds will grab a slice of frozen bread every time he walks into the kitchen, but not finish it. He also refuses to let me put something on it, like pb, so he's hungry all day and gets little to no protein. Dd will make a few sandwiches (yes, a few) at night, but is eating out of boredom.

 

I swear i feed them (when i control it!) and offer more than enough food, but this is absolutely nuts.

 

If food lasts, ds is freaking out because i dont let him have what he when he wants.

 

I got some ice cube trays for dd's night snacking (her choice, she loves "snacking" on ice).

 

I dont know how ds isn't obese or even a little chunky. He can't eat a little of something. He'll munch on a loaf of bread throughout the day. He'll eat an entire cantaloupe. A whole container of strawberries. A whole cucumber. He'll have a fit if he gets less than dd and i on our plates, but often doesn't finish it. Last night he just had to have the last slice of pizza (his second) but didnt eat it. He gets mad if i offer him a small serving of chips (very rare treat), but if i get a big bag he just munches on that all day.

 

He's seen a GI enough that I'm sure he doesn't have malabsorption problems. He's not currently underweight at all. Absolutely perfect at 62lbs.

 

I know some of this contradicts other parts, but it's really hard to explain.

 

I guess all of this is to ask- should i restrict the kitchen? Pack their lunches and snacks like i used to? Cook planned dinner and that's it? What should his three meals and two snacks look like?

 

 

[JFSinIL]

For one of my sons I simply have to mix up a protein drink every night or he'd consume no protein at all. I use a decent powder I buy in bulk from Amazon. The unflavored I can stir into juice - I also get a chocolate that I use for "chocolate" milk each night. Otherwise he'd live on ice cream, popcorn, plain rice and pasta, white bread with grape jam, plain dry Cheerios, etc. :-( (he has autism).

 

He is six feet tall and 170 lbs. How he got that big on low protein I can't figure.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

 

 

Chewing ice is a sign of iron deficiency.

 

For the rest, our ped recommended not to bring anything into the house that was not on their list.

 

What helped my picky eater was a meal chart. He'd check off the category of the serving he ate, and pick the next meal from the remaining choices. It was hard for him to get over his sensory issues, but it was possible because he wanted to grow and be strong.

 

Dd's iron has been checked. :) It's just sensory mouthing.

 

A meal chart is a good idea. I'll see what i can come up with.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I've considered protein drinks, but find mixed advice online. I'm also afraid he'd go back to supplements over food. If i find something he likes, i could serve it after he's had a bite of everything on his plate.

[Arcadia]

Ds refuses food AND eats everything we have! How is this possible? I think I'm buying less and less of different foods that dd and i like and catering to ds out of fear of weight loss. I don't remember the last time i made something new for dinner, or even some of dd's favorites.

 

 

My older is food sensory while my younger is underweight. On our weekly grocery trips, they get to stock up the cart with whatever they like provided it is not junk. They are allowed one "junk" each like cookies or ice-cream. I keep an open kitchen and I buy more during cold weather season as they eat more. So far their most favorite food may run out by thurday or friday but they will still have food that they will eat.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I gave up food shopping with my kids a while ago. I have them help me make a menu and list.

 

I'll see if there's another way to plan.

 

 

[TammyS]

 

I guess all of this is to ask- should i restrict the kitchen?

 

Yes. I would keep it simple, though.

 

I will decide what is for each meal. You will eat it.

 

Except for x, y, z foods (whatever you think is appropriate for your children), you are not to eat between meals. Have all the water you little heart desires.

 

You are not to eat anything else unless given specific permission. If you do, there will be consequences and you won't like them.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

When i was tracking, he did ask more than 50 times each day. This includes him eating a few bites of dinner, saying he loved it, putting his plate on the counter and yelling that he's hungry!

 

When he was in school he lost weight. He would just throw his lunch in the garbage. After school he'd have hour long meltdowns over being hungry but completely refuse food.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

 

Can she do gum or a chew device instead of food or ice?

 

 

http://www.choosemyplate.gov/children-over-five.html option one on the coloring page may be a good place to start

 

Gum is a possibility. I'll also check out chewy tubes again.

 

I like the link, thank you!

[Paige]

I think you would really be better off if you sucked it up and locked the pantry. Your DS is not a normal eater and normal rules don't apply. He needs the healthier food for his own good. He will not change his behavior willingly. He needs to feel hungry for this to work. I have had kids in feeding therapy, so I know how hard it can be. FWIW, it took us about 1yr of therapy at home to have real change and it was worth it.

 

Are you seeing a nutritionist? I would work out meal and snack plans for him and only give him those choices on a schedule. Do not buy the junk food he likes. Just don't buy it for anyone. If he starves himself, you could have a back up plan- you could offer some nutrient rich food he likes (or has tolerated in the past) at the end of the day- maybe a pediasure, maybe peanut butter on a spoon (my girls' choice), or something. If he refuses that, then you need to decide in advance how you'll deal. If he isn't making himself sick, then you can wait it out. If he is making himself physically sick, will the Dr talk with him about a feeding tube? No kidding. My girls were food refusers and we had the talk with the doctor. They were getting to the point where they'd eat nothing some days. They did not care about growing and being strong. They were hungry, but they could not get past it on their own and did not care to. I really think I would be in therapy myself if we were still dealing with this.

[Parrothead]

Have you looked into therapy for this? Your little guy needs help. So does your budget.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I'm going to give it one round with the new behaviorist and a nutritionist. If we fail (I'm going to give it 6 weeks) ill take him to Hershey feeding clinic. The only problem is that it's too far for therapy. They'll have to figure it out and send us off with a plan.

 

I'll figure out how to lock up the kitchen without having to buy too much.

[Susan in TN]

Wow, I really don't know. Maybe you can make him a Food Bin or something. Meals and snacks that don't get finished can go in there and that's what he can eat whenever he's hungry? ((Hugs)) hope the therapist can offer some help.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I did solve one problem. Each kid has a bin in the fridge and ds is not to touch dd's bin. I will put a bunch of stuff in her bin just to stop him from having a *must have last piece of whatever* tantrum.

 

I am going to ask the behaviorist if we can address this first. Last i heard she should be starting with the company on monday and with us sometime during the week.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

He likes hard boiled eggs once in a while. Anytime i make them and offer them to HIM, he doesn't want it. Only if dd asks and we make them. *If* this were the only problem and he was still underweight, I'd absolutely cook a whole bunch with dd and let ds think he's missing out on something! Lol.

[bolt.]

I'd do a combination of a locked kitchen and a free-for-all set of foods that are accessable and unlimited. There would be no need to ask for free foods (because I think the asking is a big part of why this bothers you -- the bother of it all).

 

Free for all foods would be fruits and veggies in wild abundance, replenished every second day or so -- depending on depletion. i mean a lot of v&f -- like 6 cucumbers a day? that would be great! Plus a good selection of whole grain products (not too much daily of any particular thing, like bread -- kind of a day's ration per child) and protien options (meat, dairy, nuts, seeds, soy) again, many options but not a ton of each option... And ice cubes, I suppose.

 

Since that sounds like it needs to be kept cold, so I'd use my camping cooler and re-usable ice blocks.

 

The rest if the kitchen would be physically locked down and inaccessable. Balanced meals would be planned and served at precise times. I'd be a total authority figure about it. "You have your food and I have my food. Don't even ask for my food. The answer is never yes." I'd put meal leftovers into their accessable foods area.

 

I'd expect meltdowns as the new system sunk in. That's just kids experiencing "loud disappointment" as they adjust, and it wouldn't bother me (beyond obviously that mtdowns are just loud to listen to).

 

I'd pre-think how to prevent/resolve one kid eating what the other wanted or was entitled to. Colour coding? Monetary compensation?

[amo_mea_filiis.]

The asking gets on my nerves because he'll stand 6 inches away from me screaming that he's starving or "do you know what i could have" or I'm hungry- all while I'm cooking dinner! I could be draining the pasta and he freaks that it takes too long.

 

You could stand in the middle of a grocery store and he'll have a fit that there's nothing to eat (ask me how i know).

 

He doesn't seem to have consistent sensory issues with food. Tonight he agreed to Mac and cheese (white cheddar- no food coloring), chop meat, and raw carrots.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Tonight dd and i (ds as much as he'll participate) are going to make food picture cards. I'll see if meal cards helps at all.

[bolt.]

If he's doing that, it sounds like he feels confused, overstimulated and powerless. He's trying to use his volume to MAKE you take those feelings away. That's really an emotional place to be put into as a mom, and I feel for you.

 

My suggestion, above, involves empowering HIM within limits that you would be comfortable with -- then your only job is to be deadpan and utterly solid, predictable and unmoving in your response to his request calmly saying things like: it is your job to deal with your hunger -- you can handle it.

 

Also, combined with the message that it is not ok to shout at mom or in public no matter how strong your feelings are (although i suggest: do allow him to shout "I" statements and discriptions if his feelings and problem at first -- as long as he is not shouting at you, about you. Volume moderation can be a something you deal with in a while, once this issue is about more settled / less raw.)

 

Note: I'm imaging a child older than 3 and younger that 12 -- is that the right target for my advice?

[Cera]

It sounds like they both have sensory issues. I would look for devices to chew on that would provide the input they are seeking without the food involvement. Try this site - http://store.schoolspecialty.com/OA_HTML/ibeCCtpSctDspRte.jsp?minisite=10021

[amo_mea_filiis.]

If he's doing that, it sounds like he feels confused, overstimulated and powerless. He's trying to use his volume to MAKE you take those feelings away. That's really an emotional place to be put into as a mom, and I feel for you.

 

My suggestion, above, involves empowering HIM within limits that you would be comfortable with -- then your only job is to be deadpan and utterly solid, predictable and unmoving in your response to his request calmly saying things like: it is your job to deal with your hunger -- you can handle it.

 

Also, combined with the message that it is not ok to shout at mom or in public no matter how strong your feelings are (although i suggest: do allow him to shout "I" statements and discriptions if his feelings and problem at first -- as long as he is not shouting at you, about you. Volume moderation can be a something you deal with in a while, once this issue is about more settled / less raw.)

 

Note: I'm imaging a child older than 3 and younger that 12 -- is that the right target for my advice?

 

Perfect target age.

 

Thank you. :)

[amo_mea_filiis.]

These are questions that the behaviorist is going to say are my choice as mom. So hive, be mom and answer these! :)

 

Meals and snacks- eaten at table with no electronics? Or get food into him even if out of a dog bowl on the floor in front of netflix?

 

Food choice- do i sneak good stuff into things like strawberry milk and pasta sauce? Or let him know there is stuff in it? (Not sure what "good stuff" to mix in. That'll be another question!")

 

Do i allow baby food fruits plus a supplement for breakfast?

 

What "good stuff" can i mix into foods and drinks? Is there a numbered color free strawberry powder or syrup to make strawberry milk?

 

He likes those not-too-much-crap flavored straws, but they're expensive for only a few.

 

How can i make a thin smoothie type drink with lots of goodness but only tastes like strawberry milk?

 

 

[Momof3littles]

Would he accept something like strawberry kefir thinned out in the blender with almond or other milk? That's kind of strawberry milk tasting, but I can't recall how chunky the strawberries are. I don't think there are chunks in something like Lifeway kefir. By itself it is pretty thick like those Stoneyfield smoothie things in a little jug, but thinned out maybe it would be okay. Is whey an issue? Have you ever tried Jay Robb protein powder? That comes in strawberry. It is rather pricey, but is sweetened with stevia and colored with beet root powder. Vitamin Shoppe sells it and they often carry single packs. I'd try just a single pack ($2 or a bit over that) before committing to a big container in case it doesn't pass his taste test. You could add that into milk or almond milk maybe? http://www.vitaminshoppe.com/store/en/browse/sku_detail.jsp?id=J1-1032&sourceType=sc&source=FG&adGroup=40-60&keyword=J1-1032&cm_mmc=Google+Shopping-_-Product+Listing+Ads-_-40-60-_-J1-1032&gclid=COnXqeqhyLUCFZOe4AodZwwA_A#.USaH_IVm1e8

[brookspr]

Same thing happened to a friend of mine. Her solution was to keep the plate of leftover food and when her child said they were hungry, that's what she offered. Once they ate enough to her satisfaction they could have something else.

 

I somewhat do that with my kids as well. If they eat their dinner and are saying they are still hungry within 30 minutes of finishing, they have to eat something healthy (veggies, salad, fruit as a last resort) before they can have any kind of treat.

 

When i was tracking, he did ask more than 50 times each day. This includes him eating a few bites of dinner, saying he loved it, putting his plate on the counter and yelling that he's hungry!

 

When he was in school he lost weight. He would just throw his lunch in the garbage. After school he'd have hour long meltdowns over being hungry but completely refuse food.

[MomatHWTK]

To create strawberry flavor, try using strawberry jam with no additives- simply fruit is one we use (as a jam). You can also make strawberry jam or jelly if you get the strawberries at a good price.

 

I don't make a big deal about where my kids eat, I don't care for that battle. I would slip healthy stuff in without telling- I don't need to reveal every ingredient in everything I cook. If the child said it tasted different or asked I wouldn't lie but I might evade until I had to tell all.

 

My (probable) Aspie has the "what to eat" freeze ups. The low blood sugar in combination with the existing limitations just freezes him in to a vicious cycle. Then he won't eat anything. I have some dairy free chocolate chips that I use for a blood sugar boost.

 

DS used to chew gum to help with the sensory need, but I couldn't find one with safe ingredients (multiple food allergies). He won't eat ice. I chew ice as a sensory issue, I have a stand alone ice maker that I run 24/7 to keep me supplied. (Yes it does lead to TMJ- one battle at a time.) :001_rolleyes:

[Greenmama2]

I've considered protein drinks, but find mixed advice online. I'm also afraid he'd go back to supplements over food. If i find something he likes, i could serve it after he's had a bite of everything on his plate.

A friend of mine does a "raw" ish smoothie every morning, then doesn't worry about what her children eat for the rest of the day. Which for her ds is often just a few rice cakes. I'm not sure of all her ingredients but they include coconut water (when she can find fresh coconuts), egg (even my mother used to do this when I was a toddler apparently - add a raw egg to a milkshake to get more protein into me), greens (but not always) etc. If you make it yourself, you can still add a commercial protein powder if you like but it doesn't become about the supplements, it's still about the real food :)

I would be seriously concerned if my child was eating so much bread as to be eating frozen.

[Greenmama2]

These are questions that the behaviorist is going to say are my choice as mom. So hive, be mom and answer these! :)

 

Meals and snacks- eaten at table with no electronics? Or get food into him even if out of a dog bowl on the floor in front of netflix?

 

Food choice- do i sneak good stuff into things like strawberry milk and pasta sauce? Or let him know there is stuff in it? (Not sure what "good stuff" to mix in. That'll be another question!")

 

Do i allow baby food fruits plus a supplement for breakfast?

 

What "good stuff" can i mix into foods and drinks? Is there a numbered color free strawberry powder or syrup to make strawberry milk?

 

He likes those not-too-much-crap flavored straws, but they're expensive for only a few.

 

How can i make a thin smoothie type drink with lots of goodness but only tastes like strawberry milk?

Meals at table, no electronics. Snacks - from "free food" a PP suggested - wherever, however.

Sneak just a little.

No way! A child like this needs a protein breakfast.

No advice for the last few as I shop in a different country & have more access to decent whole foods than even most folk in my country. Good luck.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

If we did the baby food, I'd add cereal with protein or an elemental "food" that resembles cereal.

[MomatHWTK]

I'd do what it takes to get the protein at the start of the day. Long story... DS had so many food allergies as an infant that he had to be formula only until age 3. The process of getting him from formula only to solids after that took at least a year. We had a hand grinder (like to make your own baby food) and double ground his first foods. We started with one food at a time, double ground it and added water. Then we would add the next food. It was several years after he did solids that he would take anything crunchy and he stuck to his few basis "trusted" foods for quite awhile. It was actually Fritos that got him to accept crunchy.

 

Now that he's older and the younger kids eat more variety, he has accepted more foods. He is even eating fresh fruit now. But there are issues- he will only eat certain brands of applesauce, if there is a mark on the fruit he won't eat it. Bananas have to be just the right color... I try to work with him and over time we work on him getting better and more open to foods*. But, that morning protein is essential. At least with my child if I don't get the basis in him the rest of the day is going nowhere.

 

IMO, these sensory issues and mental blocks are real and and you can't "strong willed child" your way around them. My child even recognizes the lack of logic in his own responses but still can't turn them off. It's a trap set by their minds that they want to escape but can't- even when it doesn't seem that way from the outside. :grouphug:

*As I've mentioned before though, we also use medication. So I don't know how far I'd be getting with all the above otherwise.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Thank you everyone!

 

I'm looking at links. Strawberry protein powder is probably a good idea.

 

If he'd let me i have considered checking his blood sugar to see if he gets low when he has the worst of the food fits. He may let me check it one time, but not much after that!

 

He's fine with all foods not except numbered food coloring (i should test the other stuff soon) and maybe nitrates.

 

I lean towards no electronics, but sometimes it's painful (physically!) to say no.

 

I think i have an idea of a good plan to create for the behaviorist. This poor woman has no idea what she's getting herself into! I have a feeling we may end up in the feeding center because it's mostly behavioral. He just ate a very mixed texture and temperature meal.

[LostSurprise]

I remember your past food issues with him.

 

I agree that its time for further evaluation from a feeding clinic. The GI eval is done so they'll check out sensory and behavior issues. We're going for our GI eval next week.

 

I also agree with bolt that there's something else going on (physical, mental) which makes him need to control this so tightly. Off the top of my head I'd say either his body doesn't give him the cues he needs to eat (hungry, full, continue eating) or that he loses focus somehow when food is there, loses the need, and then it all hits him at once and he has to start over committing himself to eat. Frustrating...and really hard to communicate.

 

Does he eat better when he has something to focus on (other then the meal itself)? It sounds like he consumes massive quantities when distracted or when his body really needs it AND he likes it (creating an eating fugue)?

 

The yelling is a part of his low frustration tolerance. The behaviorist should be able to help you with that but dang if it isn't a long road.

 

BTW, awesome on the bins. That sounds like a really good idea.

 

Would it help if you took him shopping every few days? Give him a category (protein, vegetable, fruit) and then have him choose something for the next 2 days. Even if he falls out of love with it by day 2, you know he'll have something new the next day. All other food can be strictly planned (of course dd gets her own chosen snacks).

 

I know with your situation that might not be feasible for you. Just throwing stuff out there.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Yeah, we really have to work on body feelings.

 

He just said he feels like puking (ate a fair amount of dinner) but wants more carrots. I would not refuse carrots, but is he really full? Does he just want to continue munching in front of the movie? Sensory seeking? Over thinking?! Lol. It's a carrot!

 

 

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I'm not fond of taking him to any stores but i will consider this with the therapist.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Ear muffs! Great idea.

[Parrothead]

I'm not fond of taking him to any stores but i will consider this with the therapist.

 

How about you be the store. Provide a small variety for him to pick from every day or every other day.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

 

 

How about you be the store. Provide a small variety for him to pick from every day or every other day.

 

Good idea! I can put out pictures of available options.

[bolt.]

Meals and snacks- eaten at table with no electronics? Or get food into him even if out of a dog bowl on the floor in front of netflix?

Middle: In the kitchen / other areas with hard floors. Perhaps a snack at a coffee table.

 

Food choice- do i sneak good stuff into things like strawberry milk and pasta sauce? Or let him know there is stuff in it? (Not sure what "good stuff" to mix in. That'll be another question!")

Make what you make. If your pasta sauce has spinach (mine does) that's what you're making. It's not sneaking to make a healthy recipe.

 

Do i allow baby food fruits plus a supplement for breakfast?

If you allow baby food fruits (which are just like apple sauce, but made from other types of fruit) that's fine, and he can eat them when he wants to, up to the limit you set out for the day. I don't know what you mean by 'a supplement'. You might have to release the concept of 'breakfast'.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

 

Middle: In the kitchen / other areas with hard floors. Perhaps a snack at a coffee table.

 

 

Make what you make. If your pasta sauce has spinach (mine does) that's what you're making. It's not sneaking to make a healthy recipe.

 

 

If you allow baby food fruits (which are just like apple sauce, but made from other types of fruit) that's fine, and he can eat them when he wants to, up to the limit you set out for the day. I don't know what you mean by 'a supplement'. You might have to release the concept of 'breakfast'.

 

I don't put spinach or anything in my sauce, but I've considered it.

 

His choice is sitting on the floor to eat (that's why i always joke about a dog bowl), but that's not acceptable in other places so i think i need to push table eating more.

 

I dont really care if he eats baby food fruits, but he'd be hungry before even finishing! I'd add something like the link below.

 

https://www.neocate.com/shop/c-8-neocate-nutra.aspx?

 

I tried making cereal out of quinoa to mix with fruit but he didnt like it.

 

 

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I'm fine with any foods for breakfast, as long as he gets the protein to start the day better.

[LibraryLover]

Some kids don't know how to gauge hunger. While dc has now outgrown the behavior, there was a time when child cried there was nothing to eat because dc was starving, and therefore had little ability to make a decision. Eating on a bit of schedule (small amounts of protein every two hours) helped tremendously.

 

Child still has low blood sugar, and is one who 'forgets' to eat. Siblings notice it to this day. "eat an egg!" is a phrase often tossed at the particular child. ;)

[TechWife]

I'm going to give it one round with the new behaviorist and a nutritionist. If we fail (I'm going to give it 6 weeks) ill take him to Hershey feeding clinic. The only problem is that it's too far for therapy. They'll have to figure it out and send us off with a plan.

 

I'll figure out how to lock up the kitchen without having to buy too much.

 

If we did the baby food, I'd add cereal with protein or an elemental "food" that resembles cereal.

 

 

Has your son ever had a swallow study done? If not, I'd certainly bump up the trip to the feeding clinic. Make sure that when you make the appointment that they know you are coming from a distance and need to do as many evaluation, tests, appointments, etc. in one day as you can. You may need to plan to stay over night at a hotel if they need to do things over more than one day.

 

The feeding clinic will be able to figure out any physical reasons for his eating patterns - does he have the tongue & oral muscle strength needed to chew various types of food? Is he moving his tongue effectively, side to side as he chews? Does he swallow well or is his gag reflex over or under developed?

 

All of these issues can affect how a child eats. What is manifesting as a sensory issue may also have a physical component - they often go hand in hand. A good feeding therapist (speech therapist) can work on him with theses issues, develop a home treatment plan, etc..

 

I would not revert back to baby food unless the feeding therapist and a nutritionist sign off on it. Even then, it should be part of a mapped out plan of treatment. The feeding therapist should set goals and have a plan to progress him from one type of food to another, with objective benchmarks that will help everyone know when he is ready to progress. This type of plan is especially critical if you are going to be doing some of this on your own. Also, check to see if your insurance covers home health - it may be possible to have a feeding/speech therapist come to your home to work with him due to the travel distance required for you to go in person.

 

As I'm sure you know, poor nutrition can lead to variable blood sugar levels, which often make people very irritable and that can manifest as anger. He is young & doesn't know how to deal with these intense feelings.

 

I think your multi-specialist approach is a good one, but please include the feeding clinic. They may also have their own specialists there that they want you to work with as far as nutrition & behavior go. It sounds like all of these specialists will need to work together to help him. It may be good to just have them all with the same group so that they don't give conflicting advice (especially in front of your son). I know the travel is a pain & is expensive, but it may be the best thing. Keep records of your travel, though. I believe you can deduct mileage to/from medical appointments from your taxes if you reach a minimum level of expenses.

[TammyS]

Thank you everyone!

 

I'm looking at links. Strawberry protein powder is probably a good idea.

 

If he'd let me i have considered checking his blood sugar to see if he gets low when he has the worst of the food fits. He may let me check it one time, but not much after that!

 

He's fine with all foods not except numbered food coloring (i should test the other stuff soon) and maybe nitrates.

 

I lean towards no electronics, but sometimes it's painful (physically!) to say no.

 

I think i have an idea of a good plan to create for the behaviorist. This poor woman has no idea what she's getting herself into! I have a feeling we may end up in the feeding center because it's mostly behavioral. He just ate a very mixed texture and temperature meal.

 

 

I'm confused about what your son's problem is. Does he have some sort of honest issue (mental, spectrum, whatever)? Or is he just bratty about food?

 

If it's an issue, I would work with him (and your behaviorist and feeding people) to get him to try a LOT of different foods. Start making lists of healthy foods that you can tolerate and have just that stuff around.

 

If it's a discipline issue, just decide what he's going to eat, and he can eat or starve (for that meal, I mean, no kid neuro-typical kid is going to starve themselves out of sheer brattiness). Don't have scenes over it, just present the food and shrug your shoulders at whatever his decision is.

 

In neither case, would I make junk accessible to him. It's not in the house, it's not an issue. Nutrient dense food in the house only. Whatever he eats will nourish him while you are working out the problem.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

We were supposed to go to CHOP feeding center over a year ago and again more recently, but they kept losing paperwork. I gave up.

 

I know that he has low tone with his mouth and tongue but he does eat a variety of textures.

 

His tongue is pretty "lazy" but he's been clearing food much better after the OT worked on it.

 

A swallow study or anything else like that would not be able to be done locally. I want to get through the EEG first.

 

I wish travel was just expensive. It's out of range to do often. At the moment, i dont even trust my car to go more than a few miles.

 

I am afraid that if we go to the feeding clinic, they'll present different textures of "kid food," he'll eat awesome and they'll look at me like I'm nuts! Lol. I'm worried that a day may not be enough.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

 

 

I'm confused about what your son's problem is. Does he have some sort of honest issue (mental, spectrum, whatever)? Or is he just bratty about food?

 

If it's an issue, I would work with him (and your behaviorist and feeding people) to get him to try a LOT of different foods. Start making lists of healthy foods that you can tolerate and have just that stuff around.

 

If it's a discipline issue, just decide what he's going to eat, and he can eat or starve (for that meal, I mean, no kid neuro-typical kid is going to starve themselves out of sheer brattiness). Don't have scenes over it, just present the food and shrug your shoulders at whatever his decision is.

 

In neither case, would I make junk accessible to him. It's not in the house, it's not an issue. Nutrient dense food in the house only. Whatever he eats will nourish him while you are working out the problem.

 

He has problems outside of food. He may have autism (we've got 50/50 opinions on this), may have seizures, may have mild CP, does not have a chiari, no serious neuromuscular problem. He has little functional communication (another hard to explain issue). What he has going on, is *something*. He's not typical.

 

He has lost weight and that's why i have such a problem telling him to eat x or dont eat.

 

This kid had a tantrum at least once a day on a freestyle cruise that there was nothing to eat!

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I've complained enough about him, have to add a positive.

 

In speech today the therapist asked him to describe his bike. He was able to say that it's blue-ish before giving up! :-) Progress!

[TammyS]

He has problems outside of food. He may have autism (we've got 50/50 opinions on this), may have seizures, may have mild CP, does not have a chiari, no serious neuromuscular problem. He has little functional communication (another hard to explain issue). What he has going on, is *something*. He's not typical.

 

He has lost weight and that's why i have such a problem telling him to eat x or dont eat.

 

This kid had a tantrum at least once a day on a freestyle cruise that there was nothing to eat!

 

 

I see. Then I would definitely get him into the feeding clinic and see what help they can give you.

 

In the meantime, I would do what I said before: let him try LOTS of different things to eat, so that you can have a variety of foods that are both healthy and acceptable to him. The smoothie/power breakfast is a great idea. I think there's another thread on here about green smoothies you might want to check out, too. If he will eat soup, I would make him soup (from homemade bone broth) as often as he is willing to eat it. It hydrates, provides cheap protein, and is loaded with vitamins and minerals. Raw, grassfed milk and butter, too, if he will eat them. When you talked about "sneaking" food into things earlier, I would do that, yes. But don't think of it as "sneaking". You're just making your meals as nutrient dense as possible. A kid with food issues needs every bite to count. Save yourself a lot of hassle and don't have junk food in the house. He can't really argue with "we don't have any". It will save you both the headache.

 

Remember to take care of yourself, too. Not just in the vague way that people often talk about, but in concrete ways. Eat well and frequently, get exercise, and sleep. Don't let your physical condition drag on you in addition to everything else you are going to have to deal with.

[Paige]

My problem eaters seem to have absolutely no little voice in their head telling them to stop eating if it is a food they like. We have a problem with relatives who like to give them whatever they want and then they'll end up sick. They ate enough pancakes to go through a 5lb bag of flour in less than 3 days and that doesn't include everything else they ate. I don't know if they spent so long not eating that they are making up for lost time or if they somehow messed up something in their brains, maybe it is food allergy related, or related to being premature, or who knows, but they definitely have a problem. With my kids, I would be careful about giving them free reign with any food- even fruits and veggies. I am trying to teach them now how to visualize a normal amount of food for a meal or snack and how to recognize when they are full. Maybe your DS has the same inability to feel fullness as them. I would also hesitate to give him free access to snacks because then he has no incentive to try new foods. A little hunger is the incentive. Trying new foods and expanding his diet so he can function socially as a normal person is the key to your whole family having a happier life. It's hard to imagine there is a time where that could happen when you are in the middle of it, but I'm on the other side and it can be done. The feeding clinics are wonderful. It's so important to have all the specialists sitting together and sharing with each other so they are all on the same plan and know what you are really dealing with.

 

 

Meals and snacks- eaten at table with no electronics? Or get food into him even if out of a dog bowl on the floor in front of netflix?At table. Maybe netflix. W/ my girls the tv helped to distract them and they'd eat more. No tv and they'd fixate and work themselves up.

 

Food choice- do i sneak good stuff into things like strawberry milk and pasta sauce? Or let him know there is stuff in it? (Not sure what "good stuff" to mix in. That'll be another question!") Don't sneak. My kids could sniff it out a mile away anyway. It would be healthier for him to get used to the food in isolation. The feeding team told me that eating veggies is just as much or more a social need than a physical need. They can get the nutrients somewhere else, but the ability to politely eat a vegetable will help him to have a more normal life.

 

Do i allow baby food fruits plus a supplement for breakfast? No. I agree protein is important. Baby food is for babies. I'd only allow it if it were the first step in a planned food chain. I'd allow a supplement (smoothie maybe?) for breakfast. For us, protein was more important at dinner than breakfast if you have to choose your battles. If they didn't eat dinner, the next day one of them would have blood sugar too low to function and it would take hours to get her to quit vomiting and shaking.

 

What "good stuff" can i mix into foods and drinks? Is there a numbered color free strawberry powder or syrup to make strawberry milk? I like magic milk. You can buy it on amazon in bulk for cheaper. What about just pureeing frozen strawberries? Would the texture be off for him?

 

I would not take him to the store if you don't have to. It will just show him all the junk he wants but can't have. Out of sight, out of mind. Maybe when he starts to get better it would be a good idea, but I wouldn't do it now.

 

I agree that you can't force him to eat or to feel differently. It is very real to him. You absolutely can desensitize him and build on his likes and help him to get past this, however. And, I probably wouldn't do every change all at once. Maybe keep his meals the same but quit allowing free access to the food at first, or whatever you think would be the easiest change for him, and when he is used to that change you can add another change.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Would he accept something like strawberry kefir thinned out in the blender with almond or other milk? That's kind of strawberry milk tasting, but I can't recall how chunky the strawberries are. I don't think there are chunks in something like Lifeway kefir. By itself it is pretty thick like those Stoneyfield smoothie things in a little jug, but thinned out maybe it would be okay. Is whey an issue? Have you ever tried Jay Robb protein powder? That comes in strawberry. It is rather pricey, but is sweetened with stevia and colored with beet root powder. Vitamin Shoppe sells it and they often carry single packs. I'd try just a single pack ($2 or a bit over that) before committing to a big container in case it doesn't pass his taste test. You could add that into milk or almond milk maybe? http://www.vitaminshoppe.com/store/en/browse/sku_detail.jsp?id=J1-1032&sourceType=sc&source=FG&adGroup=40-60&keyword=J1-1032&cm_mmc=Google+Shopping-_-Product+Listing+Ads-_-40-60-_-J1-1032&gclid=COnXqeqhyLUCFZOe4AodZwwA_A#.USaH_IVm1e8

 

The health food store had those whey packets. I managed to get ds to taste it with his eyes closed (because its not pink like strawberry milk) and he LOVES it!!!

 

Thank you soooo much! I will get some of these and give it to him with breakfast.

 

I almost got a bottle of the strawberry life way kefir, but decided to try one at a time. I may try this next week.