What is your case for or against video games?

[LibraryLover]

I think people are reading way too much into "it has no value to me". Video games have no value to some people. So what. Isn't value subjective anyway? If we are talking monetary value, something is worth only what anyone is willing to pay for it. My grandmother does not value using the Internet. This doesn't mean she thinks I'm a bozo because I do. She just isn't into it. I don't take her comments about the Internet as a personal slam.

 

 

Just trying to understand. I don't enjoy ice skating, but I think it holds value for those who enjoy skating or watching, or earn a living in the industry. So while I do not enjoy ice skating, I think it has value.

[Χά�ων]

Okay, so some people say that they don't limit their children's video game time and the kids don't seem to have problems regulating, but others say that some of their kids do have a hard time regulating. Do you think that a child's relationship with video games is similar to their relationship with television? So, for example, my dd5 would watch television all day long if I didn't place limits on it. (And it isn't like her natural limit has never been tested. During the process of moving, we stayed with some friends for a couple weeks, and these friends had their television running all. day. long. DD sat there and watched it the entire time, until a couple days into things, I finally dragged her outside.) Do you think she would have a similar problem with video games?

 

I do not know about your DD but I keep hearing how people say their children have no problems regulating and I have to wonder about it. When we are out with friends or at a game or where ever I hear the kid's DS's age talking about how they can't wait to get home and play "x" game. I see parents in the locker room taking the DS or phone/ipad/ipod away and telling the kids to change. I see the kids at coop glued to their DS and ignoring friend's. I see tweens at coffee house night glued to their computer not talking with the friend next to them. I hear DS complain about how when he goes to a friend's house all the friend wants to do is play video games instead of going outside (note: I am talking about sunny days with the temps in the high 70's, not -20 with blizzard like conditions).

 

The only kids I see who are not tied to a game system do not own one, have parental placed restrictions or who lack the ability to have sustained attention to the game system. I freely admit that I do not know every single person with a game system. I only know a small number of them, maybe I do not know the right ones.

[Cindyz]

Since he likes video games, I would rather teach him balance and moderation now. Otherwise I fear that once he's out on his own he will just go crazy with them. Having said that, I do restrict the games he's allowed to play. He hasn't asked for any of the violent shooter type games, but even when he does, I won't buy them. Once he's an adult, he's free to play whatever games he chooses. My husband gave up playing all violent video games when my son was about one or two years old, and I gave up the more hard core adventure type games such as Wow. If the parents are playing these types of games, it's difficult for the children to not be interested. We do play kids games together such as Wizard101 and have a great time doing it! :)

 

Also, we do not allow solitary gaming at social events. If all of the kids are playing a multi player game, that's fine, but he's not allowed to sit on his DS playing a single player game instead of interacting (not that he would want to do this as he's a very social kid, but things can change as he gets older).

[LMD]

I'm fairly ambivalent to games, but I married a gamer so games were always going to be a part of our family life. DH didn't play much as a young child, not until he could afford to buy his own stuff. He LOVES playing with the kids and is so excited to introduce a new game to them. He and DS1 have been working through Skylanders together, DD & DS work on Lego star wars together and all 3 take turns on Marvel vs Capcom - the kids beat DH fairly often too. We have an Xbox, the computers (dh's system of choice) and a nintendo ds. I use the UFC trainer game for exercise.

 

Gaming also bonded DH and his brother (big age gap), in fact BIL bought DH the Xbox for his birthday this year - DH was so surprised, it was a very sweet moment.

 

My 5 year old DS would play all day long if I let him (I don't!), it's difficult to explain his personality but I do not think it is an addictive problem at this stage. Like anything I try and make good decisions, encouraging his strengths and working on his weakness'.

My oldest can take or leave the games, she plays but walks away after a little while (like me). She could watch TV all day, if she could choose the shows (ahem, also like me).

 

We have many friends who don't do video games at all, when the kids get together they don't touch them.

[Guest]

 

I do not know about your DD but I keep hearing how people say their children have no problems regulating and I have to wonder about it. When we are out with friends or at a game or where ever I hear the kid's DS's age talking about how they can't wait to get home and play "x" game. I see parents in the locker room taking the DS or phone/ipad/ipod away and telling the kids to change. I see the kids at coop glued to their DS and ignoring friend's. I see tweens at coffee house night glued to their computer not talking with the friend next to them. I hear DS complain about how when he goes to a friend's house all the friend wants to do is play video games instead of going outside (note: I am talking about sunny days with the temps in the high 70's, not -20 with blizzard like conditions).

 

The only kids I see who are not tied to a game system do not own one, have parental placed restrictions or who lack the ability to have sustained attention to the game system. I freely admit that I do not know every single person with a game system. I only know a small number of them, maybe I do not know the right ones.

 

 

This sounds to me like a case of seeing what you look for. IME, video game and self-regulation is like self-regulation in other areas. Some kids have no "addictive" tendencies and self-regulate well. Others don't. Some kids can eat a couple cookies and walk away; others will eat every cookie unless someone regulates it for them. My 3 children vary in how much "addictiveness" they display towards video games and all kinds of other enjoyable things. One of my kids likes gaming okay, but may go weeks or months without playing any form of game. Another kid likes it quite a bit and gravitates towards gaming until told to turn it off and go do something else.

 

As an aside, I teach my kids that manners dictate that when they are with a friend or eating a meal, etc., they are never to be playing a solitary game or fiddling with devices/ipod/phone. DH and I don't do that, either.

[Lady Marmalade]

 

I do not know about your DD but I keep hearing how people say their children have no problems regulating and I have to wonder about it. When we are out with friends or at a game or where ever I hear the kid's DS's age talking about how they can't wait to get home and play "x" game. I see parents in the locker room taking the DS or phone/ipad/ipod away and telling the kids to change. I see the kids at coop glued to their DS and ignoring friend's. I see tweens at coffee house night glued to their computer not talking with the friend next to them. I hear DS complain about how when he goes to a friend's house all the friend wants to do is play video games instead of going outside (note: I am talking about sunny days with the temps in the high 70's, not -20 with blizzard like conditions).

 

The only kids I see who are not tied to a game system do not own one, have parental placed restrictions or who lack the ability to have sustained attention to the game system. I freely admit that I do not know every single person with a game system. I only know a small number of them, maybe I do not know the right ones.

 

 

Just curious, do you never sit in companionable silence with someone? One doesn't have to be engaged in conversation at all times when with another person. DH and I frequently can be found sitting next to each other at our computers- we can sit for hours doing various tasks and not a word will pass our lips. I love that, silence can be such a beautiful thing sometimes.

 

And do you not talk about how you cannot wait to get home to do "XYZ"? I frequently will tell someone that I cannot wait to get home to make and eat dinner. Why shouldn't my DS be excited that he's been making progress on a video game? It's no different to me than if I had a pork shoulder marinating all day long, and I'm eagerly anticipating the moment where it is finally cooked and we can enjoy the succulent pork for dinner.

 

I don't mean this to sound argumentative at all, just pointing out that if you take out the words "video games" they can be replaced with hundreds of other things that people do from day to day that could be considered suspect behavior. I have a nephew who thinks about sports all the time. If he's not actively playing a sport, he's watching a sport, reading about sports, dreaming about sports, etc. Is that bad? Surely not, everyone is entitled to their own passions, activities and dreams. Sure would be a boring life if everyone was into sports or video games or cooking or scrapbooking or whatever same exact thing everyone else is into. I think we just see this more today because it is unfamiliar to many. Video gaming is a relatively new industry, and the popularity of portable gaming is also really new.

 

Before my DS danced at the studio my DD dances at, he was there several nights a week with us anyway. We always brought his Nintendo DS along because it was something he could do during the two-three hours that DD danced that didn't bother anyone else around us. As the other little brothers began bringing their DS's along, the boys kind of began their own little club. The girls would dance, the moms would chat, and the boys could be found around the corner enjoying their own little DS party. Friendships formed out of those little circles of video games that were merely meant to serve as a distraction. I, for one, was SO glad these boys had something fun to do together while waiting for their sisters. Sitting and playing video games together was FAR preferrable to a game of tag or hide and seek in a small enclosed dance studio where there was no room for rough play.

[WishboneDawn]

 

 

There are entire books dedicated to the way that video games negatively alter neurological pathways and there are many, many studies that show that video games are addictive to some people. Additionally violent video games have a documented negative impact on the behavior of the children/teens that play them. That doesn't mean that all video game use is bad, but the saying that the negatives don't exist is untrue. Just like TV has many negatives, video games to as well.

 

No. There's some research out there that violent video games may negatively alter neurological pathways. The study I cited only measured results after a week and doesn't follow the participants to see if this is meaningful in any way in the long term. Even that study implied that the altered pathways are likely a temporary thing and a break can let the pathways return to normalcy.

 

Whether it's the violence that alters the pathways or the video games isn't addressed. It may well be that a diet heavy in violent novels has the same effect.

 

It's also important to note that most studies that show a negative effect tend to be experimental and measure short term responses. As noted in this article when studies start looking for correlation or are longitudinal studies which look for actual violent behaviour rather then using experimental measures then the link seems to disappear.

[Annie Laurie]

 

And they are expensive! I can think of so much more I can do with my money. Even if a game only costs $50 that $50 will get:

 

An hour of private lessons for many sports or music

For the pricier sports/music lessons 30 minutes and ice cream

An annual pass to a Lego Land Discovery Center (Dallas Fort Worth is only $45/person)

1 night at a campground and canoe rental for a float trip

Zipline tour (with Groupon)

Admission for two to a science musuem or children's museum with money left over for lunch and gas.

New Shoes

Enough gas to drive almost 500 miles

A month of internet access

LOTS of used books

A higher end board game

 

 

I have 5 kids, so none of that will cost us $50. We budget annually for zoo passes and science museum passes, but it's way more than $50. More like $300 for each thing for all of us.

 

A video game they can all play together for that $50. But I don't pay $50 for video games anyway. The games they got for Christmas I paid $10 or $15 each for with Amazon Lightning Deals during Thanksgiving week.

[kateincali]

Limit it. That is what we do. I dont see anything wrong with the kids playing them, at least some of them. But I wont let them play for hours. In fact I usually prefer if they do play, it is at a friends house. This way they get to play and enjoy the games, but its not a constant temptation.

[DianeW88]

Addiction is such a strong word, and has such a negative connotation. I suppose I could have said my dd was "addicted" to ballet throughout her childhood. She ate, breathed, and slept it. She spent six hours a day, five days a week dancing in an all day pre-professional ballet academy.

 

She spent her summers going to not one, but two, summer intensives where she lived away from home for four to six weeks at a time.

 

She received a four year, full ride, college scholarship for ballet, and is now a professional ballet dancer with a nationally recognized company. Was her addiction to ballet a bad thing? I don't think so.

[KungFuPanda]

I don't think video games are at all 'addictive.' I think some people have personalities that predispose them to obsess about certain things. It might be video games, knitting, food, reading, Thomas the Tank engine, or running, but NONE of those things are addictive. Granted, if you have a child with this personality type, I can see how not having video games eliminates that particular struggle. However, you can also make a case for addressing the addictive behavior and teaching the child some coping skills. Honestly, I'm a pick-your-battles kind of girl and don't blame any parent for eliminating stress from their daily lives. What frustrates me about this topic is when people say the games themself cause addiction, sloth, etc . . . instead of owning up that their child has these tendencies and games would amplify them.

[Χά�ων]

Just curious, do you never sit in companionable silence with someone? One doesn't have to be engaged in conversation at all times when with another person.

 

The only people I can say that I do this with are people I see every single day or who I see so much that we do not have to catch up. In the case of the kids sitting net to each other playing games a majority do not see each other all that often. If we were to go that one time a month get together would be the only time DS gets to see most of them. He sees some of the kids more often but not really all that often (half a dozen times since Septembet) because of insane schedules. If I never talked to you on the phone/online and we were meeting a coffee shop and you came in a sat down next to me and turned on your computer and proceeded to play a game and ignore me I would be hurt. DS doesn't even want to go to the coffee shop because of it. He has even offered to bring strategy intense board games but the kids all wanted to play computer games or on their DS.

 

 

And do you not talk about how you cannot wait to get home to do "XYZ"? I frequently will tell someone that I cannot wait to get home to make and eat dinner. Why shouldn't my DS be excited that he's been making progress on a video game? It's no different to me than if I had a pork shoulder marinating all day long, and I'm eagerly anticipating the moment where it is finally cooked and we can enjoy the succulent pork for dinner.

 

Honestly, if I cannot wait to get home and do XYZ it is usually related to a basic human need. Hungry and want dinner. Dirty and want shower. Overstimulated and want peace and quiet.

 

 

I think we just see this more today because it is unfamiliar to many. Video gaming is a relatively new industry, and the popularity of portable gaming is also really new.

 

Re the bold: I no longer view myself as a young whipper snapper but I had a game boy and the sega thing growing up. :)

 

 

Before my DS danced at the studio my DD dances at, he was there several nights a week with us anyway. We always brought his Nintendo DS along because it was something he could do during the two-three hours that DD danced that didn't bother anyone else around us. As the other little brothers began bringing their DS's along, the boys kind of began their own little club. The girls would dance, the moms would chat, and the boys could be found around the corner enjoying their own little DS party. Friendships formed out of those little circles of video games that were merely meant to serve as a distraction. I, for one, was SO glad these boys had something fun to do together while waiting for their sisters. Sitting and playing video games together was FAR preferrable to a game of tag or hide and seek in a small enclosed dance studio where there was no room for rough play.

 

If my DS was there he would be excluded. He would bring a few small toys (hot wheels, Hero Factory Lego's, board game etc) and play. He doesn't always have to run and tumble about to engage other children.

[Χά�ων]

This sounds to me like a case of seeing what you look for. IME, video game and self-regulation is like self-regulation in other areas. Some kids have no "addictive" tendencies and self-regulate well. Others don't. Some kids can eat a couple cookies and walk away; others will eat every cookie unless someone regulates it for them. My 3 children vary in how much "addictiveness" they display towards video games and all kinds of other enjoyable things. One of my kids likes gaming okay, but may go weeks or months without playing any form of game. Another kid likes it quite a bit and gravitates towards gaming until told to turn it off and go do something else.

 

I'm not so sure. I have been told by the parents when I (and other parents) expressed concern about the obsessive game play and the exclusion of children who do not own systems the response from the parents was that the kids could regulate themselves and they would not impose limitations. That is a very pervasive attitude for most parenting issues locally. Or it is the opposite extreme with parents controlling everything. I have a few friends who parent without overly controlling every aspect of the child's life but it has taken me years to find them.

 

 

As an aside, I teach my kids that manners dictate that when they are with a friend or eating a meal, etc., they are never to be playing a solitary game or fiddling with devices/ipod/phone. DH and I don't do that, either.

 

I appriciate that. I really do.

[Lady Marmalade]

The only people I can say that I do this with are people I see every single day or who I see so much that we do not have to catch up. In the case of the kids sitting net to each other playing games a majority do not see each other all that often. If we were to go that one time a month get together would be the only time DS gets to see most of them. He sees some of the kids more often but not really all that often (half a dozen times since Septembet) because of insane schedules. If I never talked to you on the phone/online and we were meeting a coffee shop and you came in a sat down next to me and turned on your computer and proceeded to play a game and ignore me I would be hurt. DS doesn't even want to go to the coffee shop because of it. He has even offered to bring strategy intense board games but the kids all wanted to play computer games or on their DS.

 

 

 

 

Honestly, if I cannot wait to get home and do XYZ it is usually related to a basic human need. Hungry and want dinner. Dirty and want shower. Overstimulated and want peace and quiet.

 

 

 

 

Re the bold: I no longer view myself as a young whipper snapper but I had a game boy and the sega thing growing up. :)

 

 

 

 

If my DS was there he would be excluded. He would bring a few small toys (hot wheels, Hero Factory Lego's, board game etc) and play. He doesn't always have to run and tumble about to engage other children.

 

I'm sorry. It sounds like your DS is caught in a hard place right now. His heart is clearly in the right place- offering to bring a board game along to a gathering of his friends. Are there any of those games that he has that just one person could be successful at? I'm just thinking that so many of those strategy type games look awesome. Maybe he should bring one along some time and start playing a round by himself and see what happens. It could catch the eye of one of the others and before you know it, they've decided to gather for some board games.

[Heather in Neverland]

 

 

Just curious, do you never sit in companionable silence with someone? One doesn't have to be engaged in conversation at all times when with another person. DH and I frequently can be found sitting next to each other at our computers- we can sit for hours doing various tasks and not a word will pass our lips. I love that, silence can be such a beautiful thing sometimes.

 

And do you not talk about how you cannot wait to get home to do "XYZ"? I frequently will tell someone that I cannot wait to get home to make and eat dinner. Why shouldn't my DS be excited that he's been making progress on a video game? It's no different to me than if I had a pork shoulder marinating all day long, and I'm eagerly anticipating the moment where it is finally cooked and we can enjoy the succulent pork for dinner.

 

I don't mean this to sound argumentative at all, just pointing out that if you take out the words "video games" they can be replaced with hundreds of other things that people do from day to day that could be considered suspect behavior. I have a nephew who thinks about sports all the time. If he's not actively playing a sport, he's watching a sport, reading about sports, dreaming about sports, etc. Is that bad? Surely not, everyone is entitled to their own passions, activities and dreams. Sure would be a boring life if everyone was into sports or video games or cooking or scrapbooking or whatever same exact thing everyone else is into. I think we just see this more today because it is unfamiliar to many. Video gaming is a relatively new industry, and the popularity of portable gaming is also really new.

 

Before my DS danced at the studio my DD dances at, he was there several nights a week with us anyway. We always brought his Nintendo DS along because it was something he could do during the two-three hours that DD danced that didn't bother anyone else around us. As the other little brothers began bringing their DS's along, the boys kind of began their own little club. The girls would dance, the moms would chat, and the boys could be found around the corner enjoying their own little DS party. Friendships formed out of those little circles of video games that were merely meant to serve as a distraction. I, for one, was SO glad these boys had something fun to do together while waiting for their sisters. Sitting and playing video games together was FAR preferrable to a game of tag or hide and seek in a small enclosed dance studio where there was no room for rough play.

 

 

I big, fat, puffy heart this post!

[Heather in Neverland]

Honestly, if I cannot wait to get home and do XYZ it is usually related to a basic human need. Hungry and want dinner. Dirty and want shower. Overstimulated and want peace and quiet.

 

If my DS was there he would be excluded. He would bring a few small toys (hot wheels, Hero Factory Lego's, board game etc) and play. He doesn't always have to run and tumble about to engage other children.

 

 

Just wanted to address these two comments.

 

I often cannot wait to get home and read a book. It is a very solitary activity. But most people are OK with reading. In fact, many times my whole family will be in the same room, all reading, not interacting with each other at all really, and we love it. It is family time for us. Is that ok since it is books and not video games?

 

Also, I do see what you mention about kids having screens of some sort wherever they go. In fact, at our high school ALL students have an iPad ... It is required. What you will see on our campus is kids sitting in groups with their iPads but playing games together, showing each other what they are doing, working collaboratively on something, etc. They are never sitting in silence ignoring each other.

 

If your ds is being excluded because you won't let him touch a DS, and it upsets you, then maybe you should consider letting him? Deciding to be counter-cultural is a parenting decision and that is fine. But it comes with a price. We live in a screen-oriented culture and you can choose to not be a part of it but it DOES mean that you or your kids will not fit in. It's the price you pay. Only you can decide if it is worth it.

[Joker]

I wanted to comment on seeing other kids on electronics when out and about. My dds self-regulate well, but older dd has a lot to do online for school. She is probably seen as being attached to her iPad or laptop at times but she's really doing an assignment. Also, today we were out and about and both dds were engrossed in a book so they had their Kindles. So, it could look to others that they were 'plugged in' when in reality they were just reading. If you saw us out any other day, you would see normal kids interacting with their families but on this one day they seemed to be attached to electronics. It doesn't paint an accurate picture. I do agree that many only see what they expect to see.

 

My girls spent Christmas Eve playing their new XBox, Christmas day playing with everything and everyone (including outside time), and today reading (we had tornado warnings and it was nasty half the day). They're well adjusted, healthy girls and playing video games isn't damaging either at all.

[Galatea]

It's funny to read people saying video games have no value and that they turn people into lazy zombies. People used to say that novels would rot your brain. They said that about Charles Dickens and Jane Austen! There's always something people think will be the end of smart people as we know them.

 

But I've learned it's the same as the people who feel the need to call someone else stupid to make themselves feel smarter. Just like name-calling, some people need to insult something else to feel better about their own choices, even though it's not necessary to make something else out to be a waste of time so your particular choice becomes less of one.

[YourFidgetyFriend]

Okay, so some people say that they don't limit their children's video game time and the kids don't seem to have problems regulating, but others say that some of their kids do have a hard time regulating. Do you think that a child's relationship with video games is similar to their relationship with television? So, for example, my dd5 would watch television all day long if I didn't place limits on it. (And it isn't like her natural limit has never been tested. During the process of moving, we stayed with some friends for a couple weeks, and these friends had their television running all. day. long. DD sat there and watched it the entire time, until a couple days into things, I finally dragged her outside.) Do you think she would have a similar problem with video games?

 

 

In my experience, not necessarily. I have to limit my 6yos television time because she could literally sit there like a zombie from sun up to sun down. While she enjoys video games and plays most days, it is something she is easily able to self regulate without having preset limits.

[I.Dup.]

It's funny to read people saying video games have no value and that they turn people into lazy zombies. People used to say that novels would rot your brain. They said that about Charles Dickens and Jane Austen! There's always something people think will be the end of smart people as we know them.

 

But I've learned it's the same as the people who feel the need to call someone else stupid to make themselves feel smarter. Just like name-calling, some people need to insult something else to feel better about their own choices, even though it's not necessary to make something else out to be a waste of time so your particular choice becomes less of one.

 

 

:iagree: