What is your case for or against video games?

[Χά�ων]

 

Most of these activities only provide 30 minutes to 8 hours of entertainment. We never buy a game that will last less times than 50 hours.

 

I am going for memories not unlimited hours of entertainment. :)

 

 

If I was going for hours and hours of entertainment for cheap I would get a membership ($59/month for the family) to the facility he skates at. That would give us unlimited ice time, access to the indoor pool/water park and fitness classes. They open at 5am and close at 9 during the week and 10 on the weekend and there is always something we could do. I just am unwilling to do the driving and I can't afford the membership anyway so I am not too bothered that it is so far.

[LaxMom]

Anything that comes into our house has to have value for our family. I don't see video games as having value over other activities, so we don't have any.

 

I don't think that's self-righteous. ( Or maybe it is in a culture where one is supposed to gather every new thing because it exists - not culture of the boards, just society in general, it seems). I can also see where someone equally as intentional would come to a different decision for their family.

[DawnM]

You may not have intended to come across as self-righteous but may I clarify that there is a HUGE difference between:

 

There is no value in video games and the giant leap to those of us who do allow them must just be poor souls who buy into a culture that we have to have every new thing because it exists.

 

Dawn

 

Anything that comes into our house has to have value for our family. I don't see video games as having value over other activities, so we don't have any.

 

I don't think that's self-righteous. ( Or maybe it is in a culture where one is supposed to gather every new thing because it exists - not culture of the boards, just society in general, it seems). I can also see where someone equally as intentional would come to a different decision for their family.

[LaxMom]

You may not have intended to come across as self-righteous but may I clarify that there is a HUGE difference between:

 

There is no value in video games and the giant leap to those of us who do allow them must just be poor souls who buy into a culture that we have to have every new thing because it exists.

 

Dawn

 

I'm sorry, that was not the intended meaning of my aside. I wasn't making that leap at all, just pondering that being intentional - whatever one's decision is - seems to be taken as self-righteous by those who think like that. As I said, I can totally see how others can ask the same question and have a different answer for their family.

[Joanne]

I started my parenting journey with a contrarian, alternative, anti-mainstream bias. I was going to be a no (fake) gun, no war games, no barbie, limited consumerism, pro reading, enriching productive home.

 

I made a lot of assumptions about cause and effect. I connected dots.

 

I eventually matured into realizing that buying into "alternative" wholeheartedly, across the board was just another form of conformity.

 

I eventually made each decision on its own merit; I revisited each "yes" and "no" and made informed decisions about time, play, purchases, etc.

 

In my case, that meant when my oldest was 10ish, we got our first game console. I carefully selected games and watched play time.

 

As the kids got older (and the technology sophisticated), I purchased newer/better items and allowed greater leeway with games. I feel this corresponded with my parenting; I think it is age appropriate. I am the same way with TV, movies, music and books.

 

My boys are getting the latest Black Ops for Christmas (we are not doing Christmas today). They are not prone to screen addiction.

 

The "anti" rhetoric that most irritates me is the rhetoric which talks about kids playing, reading, interacting with "real" people. My kids are, and always have been, "go outside and play" kids. They are active, engaged, busy. 2 of the 3 are readers - and lack of video games would not have engaged the third; he was not going to be a reader. They have a full, normal, rich life.

 

I don't see video games as different (better or worse) than other recreational time spent. I did (and still do) feel it was valuable socially, though my kids rarely played them when friends were over. Even now, with additional male teens here constantly, the X Box time is limited. Know where they spend more time? At a local playground, late at night, talking and, I assume, complaining about their parents. ;)

[lea1]

We have a Kindle Fire and allow limited games on it and on the computer. We also limit T.V. time and computer time. We allow more time on weekends and holidays or non-school days than we do on school days. I am suffering from a bad cold right now. I felt really miserable a couple of days ago and dh was working out of town. I decided to allow the boys to watch/play as much tv or games or whatever they wanted for the entire day. It was interesting that one son spent the majority of his time playing games and the other spent the majority of his time watching kid's tv shows (we normally only allow DVD/VHS movies). There were times during the day when each would switch for a little while and play the other one and they even stopped and played outside for a while. I found it interesting that they were each drawn to something different. I expected them to both be playing games most of the day.

 

If my sons go to a friend's house to play, I don't make restrictions on games/tv/movies. I figure if I allow them to go to someone else's house then they are under that persons' house rules. They don't do this very often though yet.

[Χά�ων]

If my sons go to a friend's house to play, I don't make restrictions on games/tv/movies. I figure if I allow them to go to someone else's house then they are under that persons' house rules. They don't do this very often though yet.

 

 

I agree with this. Though my son prefers to play with his friends and gets very frustrated when he goes to someones house and all the other child wants to do is play video games.

[Wheres Toto]

We have video games. The kids have Leapsters, although they don't play them much anymore. Ds plays on his older sisters ancient Gameboy. We have a Wii, allow TV, and everyone in the house has their own computer. We limit time around school and bedtime, but not much otherwise. The kids play, go outside, read, and have lots of other interests.

 

Ds is socially quirky and playing some of the online games (like Minecraft) on servers has helped him with appropriate interactions (he plays with my 50-something year old cousin and her grandkids) and help his spelling. He types about 40 wpm, with both hands/all fingers. He learned to read so he could play some of the Wii games (Zelda and Mario).

 

Even without the "benefits" I've seen for my son, I don't have a problem with video games just for fun, entertainment and relaxation. They are not sitting like slugs (ds is another one that bounces non-stop regardless of what game he's playing), isolated, without real interactions. They're actually more likely to play together on Wii then off since dd will be in her room playing with dolls and ds would be in his room playing with Legos.

[LibraryLover]

I love XBox LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean. I'm not very good at changing my character, and I often spin around in circles rather than walking forward (I'm more of a drunken pirate), but I rock at breaking wooden boxes with a sword and getting a lot of coins!

[radiobrain]

I generally think this: Whatever your family wants to do, within obvious limits, is fine. Video games, no video games, whatever... who cares?

 

I tend to be a moderation person in respect to electronics, and I waited as long as I could reasonable before releasing my kids into the digital realm. We don't own a gaming system except for a computer. I doubt we ever will. However, I have always allowed them to play at other people's houses. They are limited to 30 min a day, either on minecraft or a lego video game, and sometimes, I stretch it. They get an hour after they clean their room on Sunday. But that is just my family. Is that the right way for everyone, um, no. And is that written in stone? No. As they grow up, they will have more responsibilities and freedoms. I don't change their diapers any more, and one day, i will not have any say in their gaming.

 

What some other family does is their own business. I might think they are making a mistake (either by allowing too much, or not at all) but so what? Who made me supreme judge of everything? Even if I was the Queen of All, I would say "Do what is best for your family!"

 

If the OP was asking a real question, she'll get varied answers. If she was looking to justify her own position, half will and half won't. Woopty doo. Major shocker! :)

[LibraryLover]

Oh, and the only reason I am on the computer on *Christmas Morning * is because I'm sitting on my bum, drinking my coffee, and watching my sons (23 & 19) play (XBOX 360) WWE 13, which Santa brought. One guy looks like he's wearing pull-ups. It's just not dignified. My dds are playing Farkle, and my dh is peeling potatoes. :)

 

We're kind of all over the place wrt productivity.

[DawnM]

I like playing Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I also have games like Trivial Pursuit on my iPhone and iPad. I am HORRIBLE at the games that require me to shoot at something or jump somewhere. I just watch the boys do that.

 

I WILL dance to Gangnam Style as soon as they get the Kinect up and running though! However, if my kids video it on their ipods and post it on the computer to YouTube all gaming systems will be confiscated!

 

Dawn

 

I love XBox LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean. I'm not very good at changing my character, and I often spin around in circles rather than walking forward (I'm more of a drunken pilot) but I rock at breaking wooden boxes with a sword and getting a lot of coins!

[LibraryLover]

I like playing Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I also have games like Trivial Pursuit on my iPhone and iPad. I am HORRIBLE at the games that require me to shoot at something or jump somewhere. I just watch the boys do that.

 

I WILL dance to Gangnam Style as soon as they get the Kinect up and running though! However, if my kids video it on their ipods and post it on the computer to YouTube all gaming systems will be confiscated!

 

Dawn

 

 

I only recently started playing anything. I'm surprised at how much coordination and thought it takes. I am also surprised by how much communication goes on between players. A lof of games are co-operative. The Pirates game, fi. I play with my little nephew, and if you want to buy characters, you have to get a lot of coins together. My boys are talking and laughing together while they are playing the WWE game. It's rather fun listening to them.

 

As I said, I am not a gamer, but we have not had any issues whatsoever with the video games. I admit, I asked my nephew to keep playing with me the other when he wanted to stop. I was trying to figure out which girl pirates could flip in the air. He showed me, and then walked away. I found It's not as much fun to play alone.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I used to be opposed to video games, but mostly due to the sedentary nature and the ability to tune people out and the lack of inclusiveness that many games have -only 2 can play and the others watch, etc. We did let my kids have computer games, but those were in moderation - only after school work was done and not to replace other things and not when company was over unless they played with the other kids. A couple of years ago, we did back down and get an Xbox Kinect. I found that we were too sedentary in the winter and this encourages the whole family to get up and do stuff. In fact, some of the sports games are on my kids to-do list. Dd and I like to play Just Dance games. I don't like first-person shmups, though. I find them too realistic and don't want that in my home. My kids have played them at other peoples homes, but I just don't want it here. We do love Portal, though. That is the only non-Kinect game we have for the Xbox.

 

Other than the super violent games, I look at games as entertainment, no different than hanging out here.

[KungFuPanda]

FTR, I don't think EVERY family who decides not to allow video games is self-righteous about it. However, you can read the explanations in this thread alone and see who opts out because it's not for them and who is making judgements about those uncreative, unproductive, brain-dead gaming families. It's in writing! You can also tell who has a real idea about what games in the home are like, and who makes assumptions based on rumor. (You know how you can hear someone talk about homeschooling and you can tell if they know what they're talking about or not. It's like that.)

 

Certainly, it's not something everybody needs or wants. I do respect that. However, there is value there for some families. It's OK to just have fun. Games are games. Candyland isn't more virtuous than Super Paper Mario (I think I have above average spatial awareness, but that game is too much). Personally, I DON'T enjoy video games and I never really have, but my family doesn't seem to be buying into my hobbies and insists upon choosing their own. I'd rather they developed an obsession for cooking or yard work, but it hasn't happened. Funnily enough, Scribblenauts was cheaper and more effective than Spelling Power, and I will defend Spelling Power as an excellent program with my dying breath.

[KungFuPanda]

I used to be opposed to video games, but mostly due to the sedentary nature and the ability to tune people out and the lack of inclusiveness that many games have -only 2 can play and the others watch, etc. We did let my kids have computer games, but those were in moderation - only after school work was done and not to replace other things and not when company was over unless they played with the other kids. A couple of years ago, we did back down and get an Xbox Kinect. I found that we were too sedentary in the winter and this encourages the whole family to get up and do stuff. In fact, some of the sports games are on my kids to-do list. Dd and I like to play Just Dance games. I don't like first-person shmups, though. I find them too realistic and don't want that in my home. My kids have played them at other peoples homes, but I just don't want it here. We do love Portal, though. That is the only non-Kinect game we have for the Xbox.

Other than the super violent games, I look at games as entertainment, no different than hanging out here.

 

 

Just Dance is the ONE game that is mine and the ONLY video game I stand a chance at winning. It's a riot at parties (if your guests aren't allergic to sweat). I like that the punks who are experts at those controller thingies have no edge whatsoever. ðŸ˜

[butterflymommy]

I play warcraft 1-2 hours a day, I find it very relaxing and therapeutic. It's a violent game but for whatever reason it doesn't bother me... most of the monsters you kill are animals, reptiles, fantasy creatures. Come to think of it in the latest expansion I don't think there are any human "victims." The music is gorgeous and the artwork/ graphics are breathtaking.

 

My girls like Sims and minecraft. I don't worry about it being addictive as long as the chores and homework/ HS are done for the day.

 

DS is a hardcore gamer and he's the one who converted most of us. Maybe it would be better if we'd never started but now that we are a gaming family it doesn't seem so horrible. I do sometimes wonder what we'd be like without VGs.

[butterflymommy]

 

And they are expensive! I can think of so much more I can do with my money. Even if a game only costs $50 that $50 will get:

 

 

Good point. I forgot to mention-- we do not finance our son's games. He uses his own money for VG. The only game I've paid for in years is warcraft which I play myself. The girls get some of DS's hand me downs. I definitely wouldn't spend a lot on games because it could add up so quickly. We also don't have consoles, just PC games, for the same reason. Not that PC games are cheaper, it's just that it would increase all the games we "need" if we have every console.

[Rai B.]

I prefer it over TV, especially if it's done cooperatively or competitively with others in the same room, but less than most books.

Video games go in the same category as TV or reading or any other solitary, variable learning value activity. The amount of time spent and the content are much more important than the medium.

[jujsky]

I'm not against video games or TV in moderation. If we're not doing school or not at an activity and it's not too close to bedtime or right before school, I usually don't limit the games or TV too much. We are generally doing school or at activities, or he chooses to do other things, like build Legos. Unless he has a new game, he usually only plays a couple hours/week. He got a Skylanders game for Hanukkah, and another one today for Christmas, so he's been glued to his games every spare minute (which until vacation, wasn't much except for the weekends). Once he beats it, it won't be as much of a priority for him. I've noticed that video games have improved his hand-eye coordination, which for him is huge as he was diagnosed with a developmental coordination disorder. I think there are good and bad things about video games. We would never let him play anything horribly violent. He mostly sticks to the Lego video games and now Skylanders, which has a pretty cool story.

[Alte Veste Academy]

I fully acknowledge that I used to be self-righteous about video games. No drooling, flaccid couch potatoes with brains of mush for me, thanks! Naturally, this went hand-in-hand with my high ideals of a perfect Charlotte Mason education. I mean video games are just electronic twaddle, right?!

 

Then I remembered that DH is their parent too. Darn it, he likes video games. Plus, he is generally more fun and carefree than I am. I worry. He doesn't bother with worry until an actual problem presents itself. Novel, no? :lol: It flies in the face of who I am. :tongue_smilie: Anyway, my personal trip out of all-knowing self-righteousness started when my parents gave the kids a Wii. This did not thrill me but DH exercised his (phooey!!!) equal (but rarely used) vote. And they started sweating through all the Active Life games. They were moving and playing. This was OK, I figured, maybe even a good solution for hot Texas summers and frigid winter days. And, gasp, they still played with their blocks, play silks, stuffed cats and puppets, fort and sandbox, bikes and scooters and roller skates/blades... They still got excited to go to the library, theater, park, pool, lake, zoo, hiking trails, friends' houses... They played guitar and piano, gazed at the clouds, read for hours, did crafts, played at science, got filthy climbing and playing on the cliff in the backyard with the neighborhood kids... In fact, if friends came to play while my kids were playing video games, they would turn the game off and go play! Bizarrely, it was as if they preferred human contact. But, horrors, they soon received some non-active games as gifts (Tetris, lots of Lego...Kirby, Mario--aka The Beginning of the End!) and they each got a DS (with lots of educational games but also some "mindless" fluff). Then I remembered, like a blast from the past... When I was a kid, I actually enjoyed some mindless fluff too! And look at me now! I almost never drool! And I made it all the way through college! Yay, me!!! ;) Even with the fluffier games, my kids still play exactly as before and still prefer live humans to characters on a screen.

 

(But, then again, what do I know? I am a CM failure. ;) Santa brought a Captain Underpants box set for DS6 for Christmas, and DD got the Bad Kitty Litter Boxed Set. Hmmmm. Reminds me of how even in high school I would go from reading Jane Austen to Archie comics and back again. Anyway, I am just going to cross my fingers and hope for the best.)

 

On a more serious note, I like to think I am teaching my kids about self-regulation. I limit them to two hours on both Sat and Sun, but that isn't really even necessary anymore because they ebb and flow on the games pretty naturally now. But what if they didn't? Well, sure, I might hate video games, but I would definitely be grateful for the knowledge. I would want to know this very valuable information while they were still at home, while I still had some influence and lots of control. I would want to know so I could educate to either help the kid(s) form better habits or gently discuss addiction and nudge the kid(s) toward better choices for that particular circumstance.

[Alte Veste Academy]

Funnily enough, Scribblenauts was cheaper and more effective than Spelling Power, and I will defend Spelling Power as an excellent program with my dying breath.

 

LOL, no kidding! Exactly my sentiments! (DS9 got Scribblenauts 2 and the guide book in his stocking. :D)

[Guest]

My case FOR:

 

Boys (and men) form friendships around their toys and activities. In a group of boys, if one has a DS with them, the other five will crowd around the game and interact. A boy who has no idea what Pokemon or Mario or whatever is all about is at a social disadvantage. Some may argue that they don't want their kids to be friends with others based on "clicking" over video games, but I've seen this play out constantly with my sons and my nephews, so I know it is true. A boy who has no knowledge of gaming is lacking a major connection point with many other boys.

 

I do think it is important to have reasonable limits on gaming time and to develop other skills and activities as well, but I see no reason to prohibit gaming. Also, I know girls can and do play video games too, but girls don't usually form friendships around activities and so it is moot in that respect. I have never seen the same concerns about addictive behavior or violent tendencies expressed about girls playing video games that I do about boys.

[Homemama2]

My kids play them at their friends' houses, but we don't have any kind of gaming system. We do have Angry birds, temple run, Fruit Ninja and a couple of things like that on my ipod that they play for fun (and a few educational games on the ipod and computer like Stack the States etc.) We're not opposed to them (well, the violent ones, but not the rest) but just have never gotten them.

[Dana]

My 10yo son is currently playing Call of Duty (one of those very violent first person shooters) with his grandfather. They don't play with other people online, but this let's them play together. My parents live 4 hours away.

 

My son will sometimes play Marble Ultra Blast with his grandmother.

It's neat that he's able to spend time with his grandparents via video games.

 

He'll also spend a lot of free time playing MineCraft with my husband. This weekend they've also played Age of Mythology together. Ds can beat dh as often as not. Kind of tough for dh :)

 

We've been gamers as long as there have been video game systems. Dh used to load games from the tape player. I had a better system and had the 5.25 floppies.

 

I'm just frustrated that games have left me behind. I can't do 3D games since I get motion sick from them. I'm debating getting the reissue of Baldurs Gate, but I haven't decided yet.

 

So it's a strong yes to gaming here. We do monitor when it gets to be too much, but my son has been playing for over an hour now and it doesn't feel like a long time. He knows the difference between reality and fantasy and has fun playing alone or with others.

 

It is also very rare to get a game here that gets under 100 hours of game play, especially if it's got multiplayer capability, so it does get more bang for the buck than a video, movie, or even many books!

[chepyl]

We have a Wii, DS, iPod, and a webkinz account from the toys they have been given. No non-school.screen.time until 3:30 m-f. I set the time based on when they would be getting home if in public school. This means we end up with days of no Wii or tv because they go out to play when their friends get home or because we leave for after school activities. Weekends and holidays are unlimited.

 

They are not sedentary at our house! My son jumps and runs with his characters. I like that the Wii games are family friendly, active, and even educational. We have Wordjong, my son loves that one. We have gone for walks together with Wii fit when it was raining. I have no problem with them in moderation.

 

[WishboneDawn]

I think too much is made of video games in threads like these. They're simply another eay of engaging in stories. If they don't fit your family life or you have a kid that gets too immersed in them, don't bother with them.

 

We love video games in ou house. They have roughly the same role as movies, books, and board games and just aren't a big deal.

[Parrothead]

 

And they are expensive! I can think of so much more I can do with my money. Even if a game only costs $50 that $50 will get:

 

An hour of private lessons for many sports or music

For the pricier sports/music lessons 30 minutes and ice cream

An annual pass to a Lego Land Discovery Center (Dallas Fort Worth is only $45/person)

1 night at a campground and canoe rental for a float trip

Zipline tour (with Groupon)

Admission for two to a science musuem or children's museum with money left over for lunch and gas.

New Shoes

Enough gas to drive almost 500 miles

A month of internet access

LOTS of used books

A higher end board game

Be glad you have access to the items listed. I can't get any of that locally except the books.

[Parrothead]

I love XBox LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean. I'm not very good at changing my character, and I often spin around in circles rather than walking forward (I'm more of a drunken pirate), but I rock at breaking wooden boxes with a sword and getting a lot of coins!

You ought to try the new Lego Lord of the Rings game.

[KungFuPanda]

I thought of this thread today. My sister's family just left and we spent the last hour playing Dance Central (not Just Dance . . . I think I wrote the wrong title before). It was an hysterical, multi-generational dance off. 2 people would play at a time and the rest of us watched them dance. It's not easy to focus with 8 people giving you advice! My stomach hurts from laughing so hard. My son in the wheelchair did all of the 'freestyle' segments for us and it was a riot.

[KungFuPanda]

Duplicate.

[Shellydon]

We don't own any gaming system and have no plans to buy them. There is quite a bit of research that shows that video games alter neurological development and are very addictive. I don't see any reason to have them when children are under 15/16 or so, but I don't really care what other people choose. My children are very disappointed that their cousins would rather play handheld games by themselves than play outdoors when the family gets together.

[Reya]

I am going for memories not unlimited hours of entertainment. :)

 

 

 

DS and DH have stories from years ago that they still tell.

 

Worth way, way more than a trip to the movies.

[Reya]

We don't own any gaming system and have no plans to buy them. There is quite a bit of research that shows that video games alter neurological development and are very addictive. I don't see any reason to have them when children are under 15/16 or so, but I don't really care what other people choose. My children are very disappointed that their cousins would rather play handheld games by themselves than play outdoors when the family gets together.

 

 

Every skill changes the brain. Learning to play instruments alters neurological development. So does learning another language. So does learning to read. So does math.

 

And there is NO research showing that it is physiologically addictive.

[Joker]

 

DS and DH have stories from years ago that they still tell.

 

Worth way, way more than a trip to the movies.

 

 

:iagree: One of my best Christmas memories is when we received an Atari. I was 8 and it was hilarious for us all to play, especially both of my parents. It was so completely new to us and we had so much fun with that thing for years.

 

We've recreated that this year with the XBox with Kinect my dds received. They were shocked and so appreciative, and we've had tons of fun together (especially watching dh dance).

[Reya]

Anything that comes into our house has to have value for our family. I don't see video games as having value over other activities, so we don't have any.

 

 

I can guarantee that Minecraft and Portal both have greater intellectual and educational value than what your family spends a good deal of its leisure time on.

 

That's a fake argument.

[Reya]

 

Well to be fair she said "value to her family". It doesn't have value to them. There are things that don't have much value to me that plenty of people value.

 

My kids try to talk me into playing Minecraft and Portal with them. I do NOT get it. LOL

 

"Value" is a pretty darned loaded word. Value must be held up to some standard. Entertainment value? Educational value? Edutainment value? :p To say, "it has no value to me!" is pretty sweeping--and likely wrong. You don't know what kind of value something can have unless you investigate it thoroughly.

 

I got into Minecraft before the kids, and I had to re-remember logic circuits, and it actually took quite a bit of planning and design to develop a fully automated egg-farm-cum-processing-plant, which several people claimed couldn't be done. :D Portal is as challenging a puzzle-solving game as Rush Hour, easily.

[I.Dup.]

Portal is SO HARD!!! My kids were really into that for awhile and I tried a few times but could never figure it out. I couldn't believe how good they were at it, I can totally see how kids that can tackle games like that grow up to do great things. It takes an amazing amount of brain power.

[Shawna in Texas]

One of my fondest childhood memories was when we got an Atari. It was the early 80s and I was in elementary school. I used to play River Raid with my dad. In Jr. High, my friends and I were all about Sonic the Hedgehog and Super Mario. We played when we couldn't get rides to the skating rink or the mall, and there was only so much loitering you could do at the convenient store. And our parents stopped letting us build ramps for our bikes and skateboards. Probably wise. In high school it was Mortal Kombat (Finish him!) and Street Fighter. Right after my oldest was born, DH bought Silent Hill and we had so much fun freaking out over that game. I've got pictures of DD in DH's lap as he's sitting cross-legged on the floor playing Madden.

 

I'm hoping some of my girls' favorite memories will be them playing Mario Kart together. My 5yo is *very* good, and my 14yo is not a sore loser. And the fencing. 5yo is very good at that, too.

[Wheres Toto]

Portal is SO HARD!!! My kids were really into that for awhile and I tried a few times but could never figure it out. I couldn't believe how good they were at it, I can totally see how kids that can tackle games like that grow up to do great things. It takes an amazing amount of brain power.

 

Dh and I are constantly astounded at how quickly DS can figure out games. He just gets it and we have no idea how.

 

I am probably the least gaming person in my house. I do Mah-jong and solitaire on my computer and exercise with the Wii Fit. All the other new-fangled stuff is way too complicated for me, but I love watching DS, DD and Dh play together.

[Aspasia]

I generally think this: Whatever your family wants to do, within obvious limits, is fine. Video games, no video games, whatever... who cares?

 

I tend to be a moderation person in respect to electronics, and I waited as long as I could reasonable before releasing my kids into the digital realm. We don't own a gaming system except for a computer. I doubt we ever will. However, I have always allowed them to play at other people's houses. They are limited to 30 min a day, either on minecraft or a lego video game, and sometimes, I stretch it. They get an hour after they clean their room on Sunday. But that is just my family. Is that the right way for everyone, um, no. And is that written in stone? No. As they grow up, they will have more responsibilities and freedoms. I don't change their diapers any more, and one day, i will not have any say in their gaming.

 

What some other family does is their own business. I might think they are making a mistake (either by allowing too much, or not at all) but so what? Who made me supreme judge of everything? Even if I was the Queen of All, I would say "Do what is best for your family!"

 

If the OP was asking a real question, she'll get varied answers. If she was looking to justify her own position, half will and half won't. Woopty doo. Major shocker! :)

 

 

Just FTR, I was asking a real question. I don't really have a position to justify. As I mentioned in my original post, I used to have a position, but I feel it kind of changing, so I'm just gathering information and thoughts so I can eventually HAVE an opinion and make a decision for my family (down the road, since my kids are pretty little.)

[DianeW88]

Video games don't bother us at all and I don't really have to regulate, but neither of my dds seem addicted to them. Sure, there are times they can play for hours and hours but there are also times they can read for hours and hours. I don't interrupt the reading anymore than I interrupt the video games, and at least the video games require them interacting with the rest of us since we usually all play together.

Yes, this. My kids have always had video games and never had limits imposed on them. They impose their own limits, and they've never played them excessively. My 12 year old ds got a new X-box 360 yesterday...his old one finally bit the dust...and five or six new video games. He played them for a couple of hours, but now he's out sledding with his friends, and probably will be for most of the day. In my experience, parents who have forbidden video games, or imposed strict time limits, have made it the "forbidden fruit". Those kids are the ones who come to my house and want to play for hours at a time. Which my son won't do. And those kids get very upset when my ds wants to turn the X-box off. (BTW, we have an x-box, wii, Nintendo ds, kinnect, and a game cube.)

[Aspasia]

I started my parenting journey with a contrarian, alternative, anti-mainstream bias. I was going to be a no (fake) gun, no war games, no barbie, limited consumerism, pro reading, enriching productive home.

 

I made a lot of assumptions about cause and effect. I connected dots.

 

I eventually matured into realizing that buying into "alternative" wholeheartedly, across the board was just another form of conformity.

 

I eventually made each decision on its own merit; I revisited each "yes" and "no" and made informed decisions about time, play, purchases, etc.

 

In my case, that meant when my oldest was 10ish, we got our first game console. I carefully selected games and watched play time.

 

As the kids got older (and the technology sophisticated), I purchased newer/better items and allowed greater leeway with games. I feel this corresponded with my parenting; I think it is age appropriate. I am the same way with TV, movies, music and books.

 

My boys are getting the latest Black Ops for Christmas (we are not doing Christmas today). They are not prone to screen addiction.

 

The "anti" rhetoric that most irritates me is the rhetoric which talks about kids playing, reading, interacting with "real" people. My kids are, and always have been, "go outside and play" kids. They are active, engaged, busy. 2 of the 3 are readers - and lack of video games would not have engaged the third; he was not going to be a reader. They have a full, normal, rich life.

 

I don't see video games as different (better or worse) than other recreational time spent. I did (and still do) feel it was valuable socially, though my kids rarely played them when friends were over. Even now, with additional male teens here constantly, the X Box time is limited. Know where they spend more time? At a local playground, late at night, talking and, I assume, complaining about their parents. ;)

 

This is a great post. I've only been at this for 5 1/2 years, but I feel like I've already tasted a hefty dose of reality, pragmatism, and a general chill pill. I didn't necessarily make a choice to be "alternative", but I started cloth diapering and that was kind of a gateway drug into the alternative parenting circle. Once I arrived in that circle, I found other things I was interested in, but a lot of things I don't choose to jump on. Even still, many of my original parenting philosophies have already morphed, and it's not even because I'm giving in or "caving", but just because I've been exposed to other ideas and I feel like my mind has kind of opened up. For example, I just bought dd a bunch of Barbies and princess dolls for Christmas, which I NEVER would have done even a few months ago...all because of a few things said on this board that made me question my original assumptions and judgments about Barbie. I thought about it and thought about it, my philosophy evolved a little bit, and my little girl had the best day of her life yesterday.

 

So now I'm having the same musings about video games, which (like Barbie) I played a lot as a kid and I turned out fine. I actually really loved video games back in the day.

 

Thanks to everyone for your thoughtful replies. It gives me a lot to think about.

[Shellydon]

 

Every skill changes the brain. Learning to play instruments alters neurological development. So does learning another language. So does learning to read. So does math.

 

And there is NO research showing that it is physiologically addictive.

 

 

 

There are entire books dedicated to the way that video games negatively alter neurological pathways and there are many, many studies that show that video games are addictive to some people. Additionally violent video games have a documented negative impact on the behavior of the children/teens that play them. That doesn't mean that all video game use is bad, but the saying that the negatives don't exist is untrue. Just like TV has many negatives, video games to as well.

[LibraryLover]

I take it to simply mean "we don't care about it or care for it". I don't value watching football or baseball. Does it mean it has no value at all or no value to someone else? I think it does, but that still doesn't make me want to watch it. KWIM?

 

 

 

Is value a synonym for fun?

 

I think it's fine to say one doesn't care to plat video games, or Boggle, or spend money on ski passes. There are lots of things i don't care to do.

 

I had a heap of fun learning how to play a LEGO XBox game. I totally get why others would not enjoy it.

[LibraryLover]

You ought to try the new Lego Lord of the Rings game.

 

 

LOL My nephew got this in his stocking. He doesn't have an Xbox, but we do.

 

It seems to be a challenging game! I spent quite a long time trying to get on and off a horse. I also kept getting stuck places, had a difficult time finding my character etc. My little guy had to take my controller (?) to rescue me several times. He kept reassuring me, "Don't worry. You'll respawn." It's a new world for me. :)

 

This, and word puzzles may help me fight off Alzheimer's. lol

[tabrizia]

 

 

There are entire books dedicated to the way that video games negatively alter neurological pathways and there are many, many studies that show that video games are addictive to some people. Additionally violent video games have a documented negative impact on the behavior of the children/teens that play them. That doesn't mean that all video game use is bad, but the saying that the negatives don't exist is untrue. Just like TV has many negatives, video games to as well.

 

 

Do you really want the link to the studies that debunked the whole violent video games have a negative impact on those that play them? Yes there are some studies that say the opposite, but I can find just as many that show there is no negative to violent video games and negative impact on teens and children that play them.

 

I do agree that some people have addictive personalities and that video games can play into those traits, just like any addictive type behavior. Then again scrapbook is addictive to some people as well.

 

Yes there are negatives to video games, but as far as I have found there are more positives then negatives to videogames even violent ones.

 

That being said, I think every family has to do what is best for them. If that is no videogames great, if that is 15 hours of videogames a day, I might look at you a bit strangely but go for it. If that means limiting play time to 30 minutes a day or just letting your kid have general free reign on them, go for it.

 

We are huge gaming fans here, not only video games, but also board games, D&D and other games, about the only thing I have never done is LARP. In general it is a fun way to spend some time for me, DH our kids and most of our friends. I like killing orcs in my downtime, and I actually have no issues with my 5 year old playing games where he defeats enemies as well, though I have no issues with those that don't let their 5 year old play games where you fight and defeat enemies. We also don't play video games when friends are over, that is play time, not video time. That being said, I have met some extremely close family friends through gaming online and there are great communties out there of gamers. I would never tell someone that they should game though, it is really up to what they feel is best for them.

[melmichigan]

I think we have one of everything except the newest Wii U system. Leapster, VTech, Nintendo DS, Wii, Playstation with Move, Xbox with Kinect, ipod touch, ipad, computers, etc. The systems have all been family gifts from grandparents. We limit the games, we limit how much time is spent and when. The kids play together, we play as a family. For us it's like anything else, good in moderation.

[Aspasia]

Okay, so some people say that they don't limit their children's video game time and the kids don't seem to have problems regulating, but others say that some of their kids do have a hard time regulating. Do you think that a child's relationship with video games is similar to their relationship with television? So, for example, my dd5 would watch television all day long if I didn't place limits on it. (And it isn't like her natural limit has never been tested. During the process of moving, we stayed with some friends for a couple weeks, and these friends had their television running all. day. long. DD sat there and watched it the entire time, until a couple days into things, I finally dragged her outside.) Do you think she would have a similar problem with video games?

[I.Dup.]

Okay, so some people say that they don't limit their children's video game time and the kids don't seem to have problems regulating, but others say that some of their kids do have a hard time regulating. Do you think that a child's relationship with video games is similar to their relationship with television? So, for example, my dd5 would watch television all day long if I didn't place limits on it. (And it isn't like her natural limit has never been tested. During the process of moving, we stayed with some friends for a couple weeks, and these friends had their television running all. day. long. DD sat there and watched it the entire time, until a couple days into things, I finally dragged her outside.) Do you think she would have a similar problem with video games?

 

Interestingly, our TV is on just about all day. It's like background noise. We have never really had regulations on the TV and none of our children have problems with watching it. None of them sit there for hours at a time watching. But we do have regulations with video games, and like I mentioned, one of my children is most prone to wanting to play all the time.