Rose in BC Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 And has asked for counseling. I will get on the phone first thing in the a.m. Any words of wisdom from anyone dealing with this in their children? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 :grouphug: just hugs. We recently started down this path with 17yodd. She just started Zoloft and sees the therapist for talk therapy on Thursday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Many hugs, first. Remember that depression, like addiction and other illnesses, is a family affair. Family systems are really interesting and important to learn about so to incorporate into therapy, imo. Don't expect immediate improvement. Don't send him expecting him to be fixed and returned to you all better. There is work to be done. Sometimes he'll feel like it, sometimes he won't. Some of the work is yours and your hubby's, too. Give up any illusions of control. It's his deal. Work on yourself. Tons of hugs, as I said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 :grouphug: I have friends that are. Like everything the best step is asking for help and he's done that. Yay for him! I also think it helps teens if they have something positive to do that's helpful to others. I don't know if that would work with your ds but it does build confidence and gets positive feedback in a setting other than home or school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 That's a huge first step. :grouphug: Praying for your boy. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 Give up any illusions of control. It's his deal. Work on yourself. Tons of hugs, as I said. This is the part that's painful . . giving up control. i want to save him but I know I can't. I am extremely fatigued from the weekend. Tonight I am going to take a hot bath, pull out my knitting and go to bed early. Tomorrow I'll make some calls. Who knew parenting could be so painful. (I'm sure my mom knew :).) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 I encourage you to read up a bit on the clinical definition of depression. Lots of people say they are depressed when in fact they are blue, down, discouraged,etc. I remember feeling 'depressed' at 16, but I was eating, sleeping, hoping for the future, seeing my friends, continuing my studies. I wasn't *happy*, but I wasn't clinically depressed. What I most needed to hear at that age is These Things Too Shall Pass. I had such little experience I felt that if I am unhappy NOW, I will be FOREVER. At my age, I'm so used to rolling with the punches, I'm never blue or sad. I may hurt over hurtful things, but I sure know the sun rises tomorrow and I am not afraid of hurts. The same way a 6 year old might wail over a skinned knee, and a 12 year old just say "ouf, awf, OUCH" as it is cleaned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 I encourage you to read up a bit on the clinical definition of depression. Lots of people say they are depressed when in fact they are blue, down, discouraged,etc. I remember feeling 'depressed' at 16, but I was eating, sleeping, hoping for the future, seeing my friends, continuing my studies. I wasn't *happy*, but I wasn't clinically depressed. What I most needed to hear at that age is These Things Too Shall Pass. I had such little experience I felt that if I am unhappy NOW, I will be FOREVER. At my age, I'm so used to rolling with the punches, I'm never blue or sad. I may hurt over hurtful things, but I sure know the sun rises tomorrow and I am not afraid of hurts. The same way a 6 year old might wail over a skinned knee, and a 12 year old just say "ouf, awf, OUCH" as it is cleaned. I totally agree with this but I do think it could be genuine. I have worried about it myself over the past few months. In May he was diagnosed with a mild intellectual disability (no one would ever know except the school). The dr at that time told him he has a severe learning disability. (he is also FASD, NAS) |Also we have has some serious challenges with our youngest FASD child which has affected our whole family. And lately I have heard him talk about his birthparents (both addicts with less than stellar backgrounds). We have always spoken respectfully about them but I am hearing him make some disparaging comments about them which shows me he is thinking about them. Plus I think you can safely attribute some of it to normal teenage angst. Hopefully our dr can differentiate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Aaaawwww, Rose, depressed kids can act out so much. They can show intense anger. I can't tell you how happy I am that he told you about his depression (not all kids would) and that you are going to get him help. My younger son went through a full evaluation. I don't think this will happen for depression. Unfortunately, it is so common these days. I hope you find a good dr who can treat him. Statistically speaking, kids who do go through therapy do fare better than those who just take meds alone. Do you know if there are any therapists in your area who have experience with adoption issues? I really hope you can find one but understand it oftentimes is not possible. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 Aaaawwww, Rose, depressed kids can act out so much. They can show intense anger. I can't tell you how happy I am that he told you about his depression (not all kids would) and that you are going to get him help. My younger son went through a full evaluation. I don't think this will happen for depression. Unfortunately, it is so common these days. I hope you find a good dr who can treat him. Statistically speaking, kids who do go through therapy do fare better than those who just take meds alone. Do you know if there are any therapists in your area who have experience with adoption issues? I really hope you can find one but understand it oftentimes is not possible. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I am keen on therapy and would be happy to skips meds if possible. I don't think we have any local experts -- just too small of a town, too far from urban centres. But I'll check. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 And has asked for counseling. I will get on the phone first thing in the a.m. Any words of wisdom from anyone dealing with this in their children? You have a good enough relationship that he is willing to tell you that. That is huge. I have a kid in therapy right now. I haven't regretted it. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 That's a huge first step. :grouphug: Praying for your boy. :grouphug: :iagree: It's huge that he recognizes that he has a problem and that he wants to get treatment for it. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellers Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Hang in there... My DD16 has struggled off and on with depression since she was nine. She does great when she's on her medication. She went a few years RX free and ended up in the hospital. Thankfully, she's been doing great for over a year and half. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondreeuh Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 We have our first appt on Thursday. Dd asked for help, and I'm so glad she did. The teenage years are tough enough without depression as well. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 :grouphug: My thoughts are with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
---- Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 :grouphug:Prayers for your family.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JVA Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 If you are a Christian, may I suggest contacting Focus on the Family for a referral. I did that once and saw a therapist in my area...I have recommended him to many others since then. He is terrific! Therapy isn't necessarily a linear process...expect ups and downs. His decision/desire to go is a HUGE milestone. Rejoice in that and stay strong and commited. It's not easy but worth the effort. Have family/friends pray for you and him. God Bless you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 A copy of what I posted in another thread: Absolutely take him for a thorough physical, and mention the symptoms you see and any pattern you observe. But, I'd like to offer you a reframe of the issue if is IS depression (or other mental health issue). Depression is an illness; something is WRONG with the person's body. Therefore, having it is no different than having diabetes, asthma, etc. There is no stigma with having depression, and no virtue in dyi treatment. If he were any other kind of sick, you'd seek the appropriate specialist. Do the same with possible mental illness; seek appropriate, skilled, and trained treatment. Most illnesses have an organic base, possibly an Rx treatment, and a behavioral treatment. It's the same with depression (or other mental illness). Depression is treatable, but like other illnesses, it can take longer the longer it is left untreated or under treated. __________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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