Canadianmumof5 Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I have a team of midwives. Two midwives plus a midwifery student. They tag-team: one week they are on call for deliveries, well baby visits at home, etc. The other week they are in-clinic doing all of the routine prenatal appointments. I have seen them both several times now. I really do NOT like one of them. We do not click. I find her very abrasive, abrupt, condescending and not real warm & fuzzy IYKWIM? I do not want to have this baby when she is on call. I just know it won't be a good experience with her. WWYD? I was initially thinking of being induced (long story, I've talked about it here before) since I do have the option of being induced anytime after 39 weeks. But I've been re-thinking that lately & thinking I should just hang tight. Even though I am super cranky (wish I could be all happy/positive like Katie/ktgrok) and so done with being pregnant. But.......if the midwife I like is on call week 39......then maybe I do proceed with the induction, and avoid the chance of delivering with the other midwife?? I just don't know. Of course, I know all of this could be out the window if baby comes before week 39 and the not-nice midwife happens to be on call. So what do I do? I am 36 weeks now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misidawnrn Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I would wait it out, stay home as long as you can (assuming you are going somewhere else to delivery) and hope that nice midwife is on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leanna Tomlinson Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I would try to get an appointment with your favorite midwife in the beginning of her week on call (whether it's week 39 or 40). Discuss your concerns with her and find out if your cervix seems at all ready. If you are at all dilated and thinned out, I would schedule the induction on the last day of her week. Then get busy walking, having teA, and doing other labor promoting activities. That being said.......most of my labors were under 4 hours. I noticed no difference between my two inductions and my other 6 natural labors as far as intensity goes. I scheduled one of those inductions to avoid a Dr. I disliked (she yelled at me b/c I wasn't getting a tubal ligation). I wasn't about to deliver with that woman. I hope it all works out the way you want. :grouphug: Remember, you can dismiss anything I say. I'm two weeks behind you. I'm grumpy and ready to not be pregnant. I'm not trustworthy or level-headed at this point, but if it's empathy you want......you got it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canadianmumof5 Posted September 18, 2012 Author Share Posted September 18, 2012 I would try to get an appointment with your favorite midwife in the beginning of her week on call (whether it's week 39 or 40). Discuss your concerns with her and find out if your cervix seems at all ready. If you are at all dilated and thinned out, I would schedule the induction on the last day of her week. Then get busy walking, having teA, and doing other labor promoting activities. That being said.......most of my labors were under 4 hours. I noticed no difference between my two inductions and my other 6 natural labors as far as intensity goes. I scheduled one of those inductions to avoid a Dr. I disliked (she yelled at me b/c I wasn't getting a tubal ligation). I wasn't about to deliver with that woman. I hope it all works out the way you want. :grouphug: Remember, you can dismiss anything I say. I'm two weeks behind you. I'm grumpy and ready to not be pregnant. I'm not trustworthy or level-headed at this point, but if it's empathy you want......you got it! :grouphug: to you. We can be grumpy together :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tammyw Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I haven't read your other thread with reasons to induce but I wouldn't induce. Being induced increases your chances of complications. With dd9, I was only a couple days late. With ds6, I was 14 days late. Maybe the timing will work out, but it doesn't hurt to ask the nice midwife and express your concerns. I definitely would - you don't need that stress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Ask the nice midwife if she will "special" you which means deliver the baby even if she's not on call. Ive done this many times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Occasionally Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 FWIW, I was in a similar position when I was expecting #4--I did not like one of the midwives in the practice I used. The other one was taking care of me entirely, and since I have a history of very short labors, we were probably going to induce at home. But when I went into labor before 37 weeks (homebirth midwives aren't allowed to deliver at home before then here) I had to use the hospital, and guess who I got? The midwife I liked was unavailable because her father had died. As it turned out, things went swimmingly, we got along fine, and it was a happy ending. Hopefully things work out for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I had not my preferred OB when I delivered Rebecca, and things went fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 I would call the one you like, set up an appt. and tell her you really, really don't want to use the other one at all, and ask if you can request the other one when the time comes. All she can do is say no. She might offer you some advice though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Talk to the midwife you do like and tell her that you just don't click with the other one. That you are sure she is a good midwife, but for whatever reason you can't relax around her and you know that will effect your labor. See what she can arrange. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 I haven't read your other thread with reasons to induce but I wouldn't induce. Being induced increases your chances of complications. With dd9, I was only a couple days late. With ds6, I was 14 days late. Maybe the timing will work out, but it doesn't hurt to ask the nice midwife and express your concerns. I definitely would - you don't need that stress. Agreed. An induction that goes badly with the midwife you like would be worse than laboring with the midwife you don't like. It increases your risk of c-section greatly. Plus, if you induce around 39 weeks...fine..but what if that particular baby was planning on being born at 41 or so weeks? You'd have a baby that was 2-3 weeks early, basically, and would have more issues with breathing/nursing/jaundice/etc. Not worth it. That said, if you are not comfortable with the other midwife make that clear to the one you like, and try to make arrangements. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Accidentally have the baby in your bedroom? ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Talk to the one you like to see if there are any options. She may be out of the country that week or maybe just hanging out at home and happy to deliver you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 I have a team of midwives. Two midwives plus a midwifery student.They tag-team: one week they are on call for deliveries, well baby visits at home, etc. The other week they are in-clinic doing all of the routine prenatal appointments. I have seen them both several times now. I really do NOT like one of them. We do not click. I find her very abrasive, abrupt, condescending and not real warm & fuzzy IYKWIM? I do not want to have this baby when she is on call. I just know it won't be a good experience with her. WWYD? I was initially thinking of being induced (long story, I've talked about it here before) since I do have the option of being induced anytime after 39 weeks. But I've been re-thinking that lately & thinking I should just hang tight. Even though I am super cranky (wish I could be all happy/positive like Katie/ktgrok) and so done with being pregnant. But.......if the midwife I like is on call week 39......then maybe I do proceed with the induction, and avoid the chance of delivering with the other midwife?? I just don't know. Of course, I know all of this could be out the window if baby comes before week 39 and the not-nice midwife happens to be on call. So what do I do? I am 36 weeks now. I don't know what you should do but I did want to tell my story. For my third birth, I really clicked with one midwife and did not like the other at all. I thought she was cold and abrupt. She was not warm and fuzzy, at all. Guess who was at my delivery? Guess what? She was perfect for my delivery. What I saw as cold was peaceful, she was gentle, she was strong. I had a beautiful delivery (which is saying a lot as ds got stuck, was blue on delivery, and eventually ended up in the NICU!) I guess I just want to say--you might be surprised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope in God Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 I don't think I would induce. It is the baby that begins the labour and delivery process and I would be worried that bypassing that process and pumping my body full of synthetic hormones may have farther reaching effects that neither I, nor the medical profession understand. I am due in 12 days and the practice that I chose has 5 doctors that rotate so you just don't know who you will get (I am aiming for Thursday evening to Friday- the time that my doctor is on). The last delivery I had went really well and I didn't even know the doctor (it was the same practice). If your concern is not a competency issue I would just let what happens happen. If you have any reason to doubt the other midwife's skill then I would let the primary midwife know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 I had a MW like that with my first baby. I liked two of the MWs a lot, two okay, and I just didn't click with the fifth. And that's who ended up being on call when I gave birth. Honestly, it was fine. It was a great experience. It's possible that it won't matter which MW you get, because both will bring something special to the experience, and it will be okay. I think I'd probably just focus on planning out the things that mattered to me the most (like, do you want DH to catch if possible, etc.), and then I'd probably opt for letting the baby come when she was ready. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
staceyobu Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 I agree with some of the others... talk to the midwife you like and ask if she could come in for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 I'd be brutally honest with both of them. It's your baby and your pregnancy and not feeling comfortable could be a factor for complications. Tell the one you don't like that you aren't very comfortable around her and ask if you could just see the one you're comfortable with. Good midwives can handle it and would completely understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jpoy85 Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Well Im FOR the induction. I had an induced VBA2C and thats unheard of. I couldnt get a MW, so i had an OB but he was awesome! The OB based my VBA2C and induction off my 2 birth history- why i had the sections and what, if any, complications i had. I was a good choice for VBA2C and when it came down to it they didnt overdue the induction- I got 1/2 the normal dose of a normal woman. (if you get 60cc, i got 30 for example). I was fully monitored, i was even able to labor in the tub for some point! Induction comes with risks yes but if your MW knows what shes doing and what to do if it goes wrong at ANY stage, then do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Well Im FOR the induction. I had an induced VBA2C and thats unheard of. I couldnt get a MW, so i had an OB but he was awesome! The OB based my VBA2C and induction off my 2 birth history- why i had the sections and what, if any, complications i had. I was a good choice for VBA2C and when it came down to it they didnt overdue the induction- I got 1/2 the normal dose of a normal woman. (if you get 60cc, i got 30 for example). I was fully monitored, i was even able to labor in the tub for some point! Induction comes with risks yes but if your MW knows what shes doing and what to do if it goes wrong at ANY stage, then do it. I'm glad you had a good outcome, but statistically speaking your story is not the norm. And what to do if it goes wrong..well, that means c-section, and that seems like a risk not worth taking just to avoid that midwife's personality. Recovery from surgery would be harder than delivering with the other midwife, I would imagine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 I'm glad you had a good outcome, but statistically speaking your story is not the norm. And what to do if it goes wrong..well, that means c-section, and that seems like a risk not worth taking just to avoid that midwife's personality. Recovery from surgery would be harder than delivering with the other midwife, I would imagine. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jpoy85 Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 I'm glad you had a good outcome, but statistically speaking your story is not the norm. And what to do if it goes wrong..well, that means c-section, and that seems like a risk not worth taking just to avoid that midwife's personality. Recovery from surgery would be harder than delivering with the other midwife, I would imagine. I agree with you. It was a risk. I was just sharing a story of success. I realize not every VBA2C or induction ends in a similar way mine did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Apprentice Midwife here- I'm on the "talk to your midwife" bandwagon. Let the one you're more comfortable with know how you feel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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