Talking to the teacher?

[Tsutsie]

My son's teacher knows he is bright, but I don't think she understands HOW bright (profoundly so).

 

DS attended K for all of about 3 months when it became apparent that it will not work. (We have a Feb 28 cut-off, so he started K at 4.9) We then home-schooled him.

Now, 3 years later, he is attending a private school with a December cut-off, so DS is in Grade 2. He describes it as a "fun daycare" where he learns nothing.

 

I'm desperate for this to work. The school only takes kids over the 75th percentile, with no LDs - so I was hoping that they will be used to dealing with kids like DS, and will at least challenge him a little bit. If not that, at least keep him engaged.

 

He has been coming home with homework like this:

Math:

Complete: 70, 71, ___, 73, 74

Twenty such "problems" for a kid who is cruising through SM4 with Word Problems.

LA:

Unscramble the following letter to make one of the list words: morf (from)

They started a paragraph on Monday, DS finished 2 on the same day. By Friday, the other kids were still working on theirs. He was told to read by himself.

 

What am I going to do? I don't want to become "one of THOSE parents". Especially since we are there on a scholarship and in no way can afford it! (http://www.webberacademy.com)

Should I offer to send MORE work? What do I ask for?

 

I know it is still very early in the year and I don't mind waiting for a while - but I can see DS enthusiasm for school diminishing a little each day.

[TranquilMind]

I'm desperate for this to work. .

 

Why? Apparently, he is too advanced for them. Can you teach him yourself? Put him in a more appropriate environment like a co-op that will allow him to work at ability level?

[dbmamaz]

I think its perfectly reasonable to point out that you are concerned about him being challenged, and ask the teacher what you can expect for the rest of the year, and if there is anything you can do to help. But of course, the first few weeks of school is always review.

 

And no school is likely to do as good a job as you are. Kids at the 75th percentile dont learn the same way as kids in the 99th. But sometimes you can work with the school to get at least SOME material at an appropriate level.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I never thought I should expect the teacher to provide challenging work at a level several grades and degrees of difficulty higher than the class she was hired to teach. I never thought she should take time from her class of students who were all nearly at the same level to individually tutor my child who was at his own level and always would be.

 

So I homeschooled.

 

If homeschooling had been an impossibility for me when my son was younger, I would have hired a babysitter for him while I worked and taught him when I got home.

 

It is possible for kids to be too far at the 'gifted' end of the spectrum to do well in school.

 

I did put ds in a gifted program in a private school when he was in second grade. By the end of the second week, we were called in for a meeting with his teacher and the principal. They advised us to homeschool. They said he was doing fine socially and his teachers enjoyed having him in class, but the school didn't really have anything to offer him as it only went to 6th grade.

 

Some kids are like that. Some can adapt to being bored in school, and learn to find fulfillment in other aspects of life. But for other children who are more than just a few 'grade levels' different, we might have to homeschool if we want them to thrive academically and emotionally.

[jenbrdsly]

Hmmm... I'm going to hunt around on my blog and see if I already have something written that you could send her. Then you could let my blog do your talking for you, and it could be good cop/bad cop...

[jenbrdsly]

Would this quote help at all?

 

“To throw a non-swimmer in the deep end of the pool is inhumane. To demand an Olympic swimmer remain in the shallow end until the rest of the class learns to swim is a ludicrous restraint.” (Unknown)

[Laura Corin]

What am I going to do? I don't want to become "one of THOSE parents". Especially since we are there on a scholarship and in no way can afford it! (http://www.webberacademy.com)

Should I offer to send MORE work? What do I ask for?

 

I know it is still very early in the year and I don't mind waiting for a while - but I can see DS enthusiasm for school diminishing a little each day.

 

I would work hard on the relationship, to start off with. If your timetable allows (and the school is willing) I would volunteer in class, try to work out how you can help her, be someone whom she knows and trusts. Be a solution, not a problem. You can also see what actually happens in class that way - it was eye-opening when I did this with Calvin, as his behaviour in class was not at all what I had assumed. Even if you can't volunteer in class, ask her if there's something you can do to help - setting up new displays on a Saturday, working on Hallowe'en, something....

 

Then sympathise with her. Let her understand that you realise her job is very difficult with all the different levels (even dealing with high achievers). Carry on being a solution by saying, "It must be so difficult to keep the quick finishers busy while you work with those who need more help. I was in the book shop the other day and I noticed..... Would it be okay if I slipped one of those into X's bag for him to work on in odd moments? Are there any other children who might benefit - the text comes with photocopying rights." Then work from there.

 

Honestly, when Calvin was small and in school, volunteering opened a lot of doors for me. We did finally pull Calvin out (for a variety of reasons) but a lot was improved by working on the relationship with the teacher and the school.

 

Laura

Edited September 10, 2012 by Laura Corin

[Guest celly]

I understand totally what you are saying- I have dd12 and I felt the same back when she was in the GIFTED classes in public schools. Yes offer your own problems because the teacher just can do so much for 1 student. Also feel excited that you will be extending your child's education by adding in concepts/topics that they would not see in school. Indeed it's more work but trust me you will love the progress your child will make.

;)

[mathwonk]

You cannot expect a typical teacher to offer instruction appropriate to your profoundly gifted child. Please take every opportunity to augment their education yourself. Summer programs like epsilon camp exist.

 

the web is full of free materials to study.

 

This a hard challenge. Many of us have been there. I read the NY Times when I was 6. At the age of 7, in a costly private school, we had three reading groups in 2nd grade, remedial, average, and advanced. There were only three of us in the advanced group. Then one child in it could not keep up and a second moved away. That left me in a group of one, so they put me back in the average group. It was torture waiting for those children to figure out the simplest words as we read together in sequence.

 

"School" never taught me anything until I got to harvard 10 years later, after wastING MY ENTIRE CHILDHOOD academically. But eventually i became what i aspired to, a professional math guy.

 

 

Do not despair, in spite of challenges, as anything you provide will be better than what they get normally.

 

 

To repeat, the web is FULL of fantastic stuff. My website alone at UGA has hundreds of pages of math notes that at some point maY well BE OF USE TO YOUR KIDS. oops sorry for all the random punctuation/capitalization lapses.

 

does dc have his own library card? he may solve your problem alone.

Edited September 13, 2012 by mathwonk

[HeidiKC]

Hate to say, but I don't think she's going to be able to do much with a child that far advanced. It would have to be individual tutoring if she was actually teaching him. Of course she could just hand him a 4th grade math book, and 5th grade writing assignments, but I'm guessing that's not what you want and isn't really fair to him.

 

I'd ask to meet with her, sympathize with her situation, and show her his work from last year. Maybe phrase it like, "do you see this working out for him" or "what are your thoughts on him being able to work at his own level? Is it possible in your classroom?" And throw out that you'd see if maybe the principal would let you send him to 4th grade for math (assuming you want to do this - it doesn't seem ideal with a 3-year age gap). Find out if they have any kind of pull out program. Talk to the principal about what they can do for this type of student. Don't mean to be a downer, but I wouldn't get your hopes up. 75th percentile and up seems to me that they just don't have any students that are struggling. That is not your top students. I mean maybe the whole class is 75th-85th! Not that those kids aren't smart, but even kids at the 95th percentile are nowhere near profoundly gifted kids.

 

Good luck. I feel for you! So frustrating. You're a good mom to want to figure this out.

[Bang!Zoom!]

I was unsuccessful with trying to work out an understanding with the school. That said, if you want to try that route, by all means, try.

 

Something I noticed in your original post was that it appears the advancement is broad and not narrow in topics or subjects.

 

I think this might be a harder situation than a single topic acceleration or ability.

 

It's something to consider; it may end up like trying to hold back a dam with a finger.

 

You may also hear a lot of war stories that for whatever rhyme or reason tend to explode about mid year of grade 3.

 

I have no idea why that happens, it just does. Magic maybe? :001_smile:

[Mukmuk]

Love the replies here. I can see you need the time. The situation you've described doesn't seem like it can last though.

 

I would agree- volunteer your own material for your son to bring to class. Even getting the teacher to accept your proposal may be a challenge, but it's worth a try. The teacher may not be able to help with questions or grade the material. But you can make that your responsibility. You can provide her with a spreadsheet of what has been covered at the end of the month so that keeps her in the loop.

 

I did this the year my son was in school. There was supposed to be "accelerated material" for him but the teacher just didn't have the time or energy to cope. My son was very glad to be doing what I set for him as he looked at the boring worksheets around him. But the thought of advocating every year just killed me. The offer to accelerate by one year was also inadequate, especially because, in my son's case, his abilities were so uneven. I took him out of school at the end of the academic year.

[mathnerd]

.Please take every opportunity to augment their education yourself.

 

anything you provide will be better than what they get normally.

:iagree:

My gifted child goes to PS. He is asked to do stuff that is very easy for him, but he enjoys the social aspects of school life.

As mathwonk said, I do not expect my son's teacher to stimulate his mind and teach things appropriate to his learning level. He afterschools with me on an "advanced track" and I make the effort to see that he is appropriately challenged because of the acceleration effort we put in at home. That seems to keep him challenged enough.

In your case, if you feel that your child cannot be accelerated at home to the appropriate level, I suggest that you find a private tutor or a tutoring center that might provide a customized teaching plan for your child.

[AnIslandGirl]

I had the same problem last year when my dd was in 2nd grade. She came home with the exact same worksheets as you are describing. After working with her on such a higher level, I was floored (disgusted in fact) to see what was "grade appropriate". Luckily we had a wonderful teacher to work with.

 

Although it took a lot of my time, the solutions we came up with worked wonders!

I came in to lead "Jr. Great Books" twice a week with the accelerated readers in her grade and I ran a separate pull-out program daily for 3 gifted students, studying a different in-depth topic about every 2-3 weeks. For math, we got approval for our daughter to use Kahn Academy in class wile the other students were working on the workbook pages and teacher directed work that would have bored our daughter to tears.

 

As a disclaimer, I graduated with a teaching degree, and know the school staff rather well. We are fortunate that we could find a solution wile still maintaining the social aspect that I feel is so vitally important in the early elementary years. I realize as the grades move along, home schooling full time may be the best option, but for now, I am happy to PS and "after-school".

Good luck!

[Carpe]

My son's teacher knows he is bright, but I don't think she understands HOW bright (profoundly so).

 

DS attended K for all of about 3 months when it became apparent that it will not work. (We have a Feb 28 cut-off, so he started K at 4.9) We then home-schooled him.

Now, 3 years later, he is attending a private school with a December cut-off, so DS is in Grade 2. He describes it as a "fun daycare" where he learns nothing.

 

I'm desperate for this to work. The school only takes kids over the 75th percentile, with no LDs - so I was hoping that they will be used to dealing with kids like DS, and will at least challenge him a little bit. If not that, at least keep him engaged.

[. . . ]

What am I going to do? I don't want to become "one of THOSE parents". Especially since we are there on a scholarship and in no way can afford it! (http://www.webberacademy.ca)

Should I offer to send MORE work? What do I ask for?

 

I know it is still very early in the year and I don't mind waiting for a while - but I can see DS enthusiasm for school diminishing a little each day.

 

Have you considered Westmount Charter instead? It is actually for gifted students. There is a huge difference between the high end of average (75th percentile is approximately an IQ of 110) and the gifted range (starting at IQ ~130, or 98th percentile). It's too late for this year, but for next it seems it would be a much better fit.

 

In the meantime I would absolutely be "one of THOSE parents" to the point that the rest of "THOSE parents" would seem low maintenance. I wouldn't send my kid to a fifteen-thousand-dollar-per-year school and have him call it "fun daycare."

[melmichigan]

You cannot expect a typical teacher to offer instruction appropriate to your profoundly gifted child. Please take every opportunity to augment their education yourself. Summer programs like epsilon camp exist.

 

 

does dc have his own library card? he may solve your problem alone.

 

:iagree:The librarian was my saving grace in elementary/middle school. My teachers finally got to a point where I was allowed to have five books (gasp I know) out from the school library at any time, and I would read them through most of classes whenever the teacher wasn't talking and provided my work was done. By sixth grade the librarian would let me come in each day in the morning to pick books, and let me read things before they hit the shelves. It was a highly respected private gifted school.

 

When we moved I went to PS in high school and had to sit through the same biology book I'd had in seventh grade in tenth, and the teacher just didn't get how I could read the entire time and still get an A. He would call me out until it got embarrassing, for him, and I was a snot, I'd write the page, column, sentence, and word number in place of an answer on tests because I was bored, as long as it was only a few so as not to impact my grade. Eventually I didn't care so much about the grade, I was just bored and it showed.

 

That is why we homeschool, my oldest DD was headed the same way, becoming negative of other students and underachieving. There will always be someone smarter, even if you don't find them until you get to a big college. :) The take away, this will be something you will deal with his entire education, exponentially over time. Some kids are happy to afterschool and self-study without it impacting their classroom efforts, some are not, and that may change over time too. We were able to fight to have adjustments made for my DD for the time she was in school but they were always short lived victories, until it wasn't worth fighting any more.

 

Is your child in DYS? They might help advocate on his behalf with the school, if there is something that the school can and is willing to do, but you may need to be open to other schooling options.

Edited September 15, 2012 by melmichigan

[Happy2BaMom]

That is why we homeschool, my oldest DD was headed the same way, becoming negative of other students and underachieving. There will always be someone smarter, even if you don't find them until you get to a big college. :) The take away, this will be something you will deal with his entire education, exponentially over time. Some kids are happy to afterschool and self-study without it impacting their classroom efforts, some are not, and that may change over time too. We were able to fight to have adjustments made for my DD for the time she was in school but they were always short lived victories, until it wasn't worth fighting any more.

 

:iagree: This is exactly what we found as well. Your child has a NATURAL desire to learn. If he is in the upper ranges of gifted, it will be extremely unlikely that the school will be able to meet his needs. Explore that route, but realize that there can be negative consequences to leaving him in an environment that rewards him for underachieving (because every time he wants what is appropriately challenging, it causes waves).

 

I second DYS. They can help a lot, esp. with providing studies and research about how well PG kids do (if your child falls into that level) when allowed to grade-skip and move beyond the confining world of "same age peers". However, it takes time to get into DYS, due to the testing requirements.

 

Does your state offer any public school alternatives? Online schools? Charter schools? You might explore that route as well.

 

Best of luck.

[Roadrunner]

My son's teacher knows he is bright, but I don't think she understands HOW bright (profoundly so).

 

DS attended K for all of about 3 months when it became apparent that it will not work. (We have a Feb 28 cut-off, so he started K at 4.9) We then home-schooled him.

Now, 3 years later, he is attending a private school with a December cut-off, so DS is in Grade 2. He describes it as a "fun daycare" where he learns nothing.

 

I'm desperate for this to work. The school only takes kids over the 75th percentile, with no LDs - so I was hoping that they will be used to dealing with kids like DS, and will at least challenge him a little bit. If not that, at least keep him engaged.

 

He has been coming home with homework like this:

Math:

Complete: 70, 71, ___, 73, 74

Twenty such "problems" for a kid who is cruising through SM4 with Word Problems.

LA:

Unscramble the following letter to make one of the list words: morf (from)

They started a paragraph on Monday, DS finished 2 on the same day. By Friday, the other kids were still working on theirs. He was told to read by himself.

 

What am I going to do? I don't want to become "one of THOSE parents". Especially since we are there on a scholarship and in no way can afford it! (http://www.webberacademy.com)

Should I offer to send MORE work? What do I ask for?

 

I know it is still very early in the year and I don't mind waiting for a while - but I can see DS enthusiasm for school diminishing a little each day.

 

I could have written this. I have capable 7 and 5 year olds (almost 6). My little one is in tears periodically begging not to go to school. They are adding up to ten in first grade. At home he is almost done with SM 2b (with IPs). He could have been further ahead if I let him. The same with my older boy.

I guess I just want to say you have friends in this misery. If you ever find the solution, please share. I have given up.

[homefree3]

We are struggling with the exact same PS problem. Yesterday my ds7 told me that his class was doing a word search to find "telling sentences and question sentences". He said he went to the teacher and explained that those were interogative and declarative sentences. She told him those were not third grade words and he was sent back to his desk. He has a little put out because usually adults are complimentary of his knowledge and not dismisive.

 

I am thinking harder about homeschooling. I understand that here in Alberta the funding is issued as of August 30th and I need to decide quickly to get a school board.

 

Terri