hollyh Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 When you get a wedding invitation that only includes the adult names - obviously that does not include the rest of the family. However, suppose you are nursing a young baby. What would you do? Do you leave the baby with a sitter, ask for permission, or bring baby anyway? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Is there someone you could ask (like the sister/mother of the bride)? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollyh Posted July 29, 2012 Author Share Posted July 29, 2012 Yes, I'm mainly just curious what others on here would do. :D But that is another option! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Well, I would probably ask. (I'm not much of a rebel, so I would want to make sure I was following the "rules" ;)). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kroe1 Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 No babies either, sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delirium Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I would definitely try and find a sitter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMSews Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 If the baby was still very much a newborn...i.e. still in the sleep, eat, sleep, eat stage and was breastfeed, and I felt that going to the wedding was important...i.e. family or very close friends, I would take the baby, carrying it in a sling (so no big baby carseat carrier thing) and sit in the back so I could slip out if needed. I view babies under about 12 weeks as an extension of myself...where I go, so goes the baby. In fact, when our youngest was just 4 weeks old, we took him to my dh's company holiday party. We did mention to his boss before hand that bringing the baby was the only way we'd be able to attend. The baby was a huge hit and I could barely get my hands on him all night...except when he was hungry, lol. Anyway, that's what I would do. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I would definitely explain the situation to the bride and ask if it is okay to bring the baby. If she seemed uncomfortable with that, I would either stay home or find a sitter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 If the baby was still very much a newborn...i.e. still in the sleep, eat, sleep, eat stage and was breastfeed, and I felt that going to the wedding was important...i.e. family or very close friends, I would take the baby, carrying it in a sling (so no big baby carseat carrier thing) and sit in the back so I could slip out if needed. I view babies under about 12 weeks as an extension of myself...where I go, so goes the baby. :iagree: This is different than bringing along a two year old, a ten year old, or any other uninvited guest. The baby is not a "guest" at the wedding. I agree, your priority at the wedding is to make sure the baby does not disturb anyone the ceremony. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 If I was close to the bride, groom, and/or thier family I would contact someone and ask. If my relationship with the bride, groom, ect. is more removed I would simply not go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 If this was a very close friend or relative, I'd ask. They may assume you'd bring the baby. But if it's not someone close, I wouldn't complicate matters for the bride. I'd regretfully decline, citing the baby as the reason. This gives the bride (or mother or whoever is handling invitation responses) the opportunity to let it go because they'd rather not have a baby there, or contact you and say "oh, of course you can bring the baby!" People don't always think things all the way through when they are sending invitations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zuzu822 Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 We asked when one of my husband's best friends was gettin married a few years ago. They were fine with us bringing him, do we did. DS2 was six weeks old, and ended up sleeping through the ceremony and reception tucked into my Mei Tai. The hardest part was the drive out there (three hours away in Niagara Falls), as he was NOT a car fan in those days! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennyD Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 If this was a very close friend or relative, I'd ask. They may assume you'd bring the baby. But if it's not someone close, I wouldn't complicate matters for the bride. I'd regretfully decline, citing the baby as the reason. This gives the bride (or mother or whoever is handling invitation responses) the opportunity to let it go because they'd rather not have a baby there, or contact you and say "oh, of course you can bring the baby!" People don't always think things all the way through when they are sending invitations. :iagree: Perfect advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 If the baby was still very much a newborn...i.e. still in the sleep, eat, sleep, eat stage and was breastfeed, and I felt that going to the wedding was important...i.e. family or very close friends, I would take the baby, carrying it in a sling (so no big baby carseat carrier thing) and sit in the back so I could slip out if needed. I view babies under about 12 weeks as an extension of myself...where I go, so goes the baby. In fact, when our youngest was just 4 weeks old, we took him to my dh's company holiday party. We did mention to his boss before hand that bringing the baby was the only way we'd be able to attend. The baby was a huge hit and I could barely get my hands on him all night...except when he was hungry, lol. Anyway, that's what I would do. :) :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sevilla Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I would ask first - I know some families that have strict 'no babies at weddings - no children at all' policies and in those instances when I had nursing little ones I would only go for a short amount of time or not go at all. But I wasn't about to disrespect the bride and groom by assuming I could bring an additional person (no matter how small) without asking first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I'd definitely ask. When I asked, I made sure to tell the bride (a good friend) that I'd be at the very back of the church so I could whisk the new baby out so there wouldn't be baby noise on the video. (My dd was only 1.5 weeks old!) At the reception, my dd slept the entire time! No worries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 A very young baby? I'm the type that has a problem leaving my kids with family, even at a pretty young age, but for a wedding, I would ask to bring the baby and if they said no, I wouldn't attend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tabrizia Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I'd ask, we took DS to a wedding at 4 weeks, he was the only child invited. We also had my future SIL babysit in him a hotel room at 8 weeks for another wedding we attended and we just stayed at the wedding for a very short period (maybe 3 hours). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I'd either ask or simply send regrets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I would ask, and if the answer was baby could not come, then I would not go. Two of mine would not take bottles, and the third cried every time we left her until she was 4. Dh could go if he wanted too, but he does not usually do those sort of things alone. Weddings in our family are family events, so honestly the first time we were sent an invitation where the kids were not invited (friends, not family) I was confused lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unscripted Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 If the baby is an itty-bitty (like 3 mos and younger)--- then I would ask. Much older than that- I would assume he/she is not invited and then hire a sitter or not depending on your comfort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 I'd definitely ask. When I asked, I made sure to tell the bride (a good friend) that I'd be at the very back of the church so I could whisk the new baby out so there wouldn't be baby noise on the video. (My dd was only 1.5 weeks old!) At the reception, my dd slept the entire time! No worries. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 In fact, when our youngest was just 4 weeks old, we took him to my dh's company holiday party. ... The baby was a huge hit and I could barely get my hands on him all night...except when he was hungry, lol. I read somewhere that someone got very upset because someone's baby took too much (positive) attention away from the main focus (bride & groom). So this might not always be seen as a good thing. So I'd ask, or as a pp mentioned, decline with the reason and let them clarify the invite if they want to. If I hadn't seen that complaint, I'd think the same as you - the baby isn't going to require any food or a place to sit, so who cares as long as she's quiet? But not everyone thinks like me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 I would probably check with the people who sent the invitation if unsure, but we wouldn't be going if they said no babies. As far as I'm concerned, a baby young enough to have a breastfeed and fall asleep in a sling/pram is part of the mother and it's totally unreasonable to ask her but not the baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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