Dustybug Posted June 29, 2012 Share Posted June 29, 2012 I'm experiencing such a range of emotions right now. My mother has had some various health problems over the last few years but never went to the doctor until recently because of finances and a few other circumstances. Today she was told that she probably has COPD and might be tested/biopsied for lung cancer next week. She has been a serious chain smoker for as long as I remember. I've always worried about developing emphysema or cancer even though I've never even tried a cigarette because she always smoked in the house, so I spent my entire life until I was 20 inhaling secondhand smoke in massive levels. I'm both deeply saddened at her future and what is going to happen and frustrated because it seems almost self induced. Does that sound callous? I don't mean it to be. It's just that she is my only parent. My biological father has never been a part of my life and is deceased and my stepfather didn't come along until I was 18 and we do not have a relationship because of substance abuse issues. He is currently not living at home with my mom and even though my brother is there, she is basically alone because he isn't much help. He has too many of his own issues that he isn't concerned with anyone else's. It's my MOM. And I don't know how/what to feel or do! I'm not ready to lose her. :( I'm six hours away and we don't have the financial means to travel up there very often, so I worry about how I'm going to make sure I am available to help or be there if things go terribly south. We've offered for her to come live with us, but she refuses. She is also getting ready to lose her health insurance because my stepfather stopped going to work, so it won't be paid for. My mom hasn't worked in years. She applied for medicaid and didn't qualify. They told her that she wouldn't be eligible to receive it unless she was actually diagnosed with cancer. *sigh* I just feel....sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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