Homeschooling = flexible schedule. Is that such a good thing?

[Robin in Tx]

In another thread, I posted a link to a favorite article of mine by Frederica Mathewes-Green about how our culture doesn't really honor adulthood like it used to:

 

http://www.frederica.com/writings/against-eternal-youth.html

 

 

In this article, she says something that really sticks out to me as being a potential problem for homeschoolers. Talking about college aged Gen Xers:

 

These years in extended schooling constitute a sweet life, but it changes abruptly when the graduate hits the sidewalk. Suddenly the child who has been raised on endless flexibility is faced with having to get to work on time, dress as expected, take breaks only at appointed times, and get up the next day and do it all over again. Life after school turns out to have a lot of inflexible expectations, and children who’ve been raised on unlimited flexibility hit it like a brick wall.

 

In their book "The Quarterlife Crisis," Alexandra Robbins and Abby Wilner describe how confounding this surprise is. They cite one young woman who wrapped up her academic career with a Master’s in flute performance, and then discovered that it wasn’t a very employable skill. Yet you can imagine how many professors and advisors over the years listened to her with shining eyes, and repeatedly told her she could do anything she wanted. It’s not her fault that she believed them. Boomers have been preparing their children for a life that doesn’t exist.

 

Particularly interesting to me was the sentence: Life after school turns out to have a lot of inflexible expectations, and children who’ve been raised on unlimited flexibility hit it like a brick wall.

 

I'm going to admit that flexibility has not always been my friend. I have often cited it as a benefit of homeschooling, but to be honest... in hindsight... it has hindered as much as it has helped (if not more).

 

What do you think? Do you agree with her? I do. But I'm not real sure what to do about it -- not in a homeschool.

 

Would love to hear your comments...

Robin

[Kathleen in VA]

Robin,

 

When I read that article earlier today I had the same response. I know it has been a challenge for both my boys to switch to the "daily grind." They did do it, however. I attribute some of that success to their participation in the Civil Air Patrol. Many of the longer activities (9-day summer encampment, for example) have them up at 5am doing pt and running ragged until 10pm. They do just fine there, although I chalk some of that up to the fact that they know an end is coming.

 

No doubt, it does make it a tad harder to join the workforce. I think it also helps them to become entrepreneurial though. They just think differently.

 

Oh, and I sure was glad for the flexibility of homeschooling when we went to Disneyworld the second week of September - no crowds!:)

[WTMCassandra]

I think you have a point here, Robin. In some ways, I've done pretty well. My children just *know* that there will be school every single day, no negotiating, unless there's something pretty major happening.

 

However, they are with us, all the time, and we generally do not go where they are not welcome. We are going on a cruise to AK soon, and I had to break it to them yesterday that even though the weather may not be warm enough to use the outdoor pool, the indoor, heated pool is "Adults only." Period. And there's not really anything we can do about the rule. They were Shocked. And. Indignant. I told them that we can't change the rule, but we can pray for swimming weather ; ). I also reminded them that they are not "swimming deprived" because we have a large above-ground pool in our very own yard!

 

I have to increase my resolve to give them more deadlines as they get older to prepare them for other people's deadlines. As I've been reading about preparing for college, I've seen that topic come up several times--homeschoolers sometimes cannot work to other people's deadlines and expect too many accommodations.

 

I also need to stay the course in providing discipline: 1) Work before play, 2) A good balance of work and play, and 3) Work even if we don't feel like it.

 

Thanks for this article. I am so grateful that the culture on this board is to discuss ideas and how they apply to our lives. I have found that quality to be rare in person.

[Dayle in Guatemala]

Flexibility shouldn't take the place of responsibility. When you impose deadlines and schedules on your dc, you are teaching them responsibility.

 

Really great things that come up: field trips, relatives visit, vacation opportunities, shouldn't necessarily take the place of that essay that is due or project that is due. It's not real life, imho, to bump an essay because a really great art exhibit came and you decided to take advantage of it. That is the beauty of homeschooling that you can attend the exhibit, but, the downside is often times we then say, "Well, I know that your essay was due on Friday, but, since we took today to go to the museum, we'll just bump that to Tuesday."

 

What do we teach our dc? I do believe that we should take advantage of those opportunities when they arise, but, we should also instill in our dc that in the real world of college and work, deadlines aren't usually bumped. They are pretty steadfast. In ps, when I would be home sick, I would still have to turn in my papers and projects on time unless there were extenuating circumstances (prolonged sickness). It's the same thing in the real world.

 

The older my dc get, the more rigid I get when it comes to deadlines and scheduling. I have to plan ahead. I make sure I know about things like special exhibits, field trip opportunities, etc ahead of time to adjust our schedule accordingly when I can. If I can't, we have a decision to make. Do we go on the field trip? But, that might mean that we double up on something the next day in order to get that essay or project done.

 

It might sound harsh, but, I'm trying to prepare them for real life and to be successful at real life. Deadlines are a part of that.

 

Just my 2 cents!

[bettyandbob]

allowing the dc to do what work they want when they feel like it. Likewise it doesn't mean the parent/teacher is lax and teaching when he/she feels like it.

 

To me a flexible schedule allows my family to travel when traditional schools are typically in session. I can schedule a meaningful fieldtrip, even if I found the opportunity at the last minute. I can teach my dc and they can study independently during non school hours, allowing my dc work and volunteer experiences that support both training for "real" work and further academics.

 

My dc know they will always be expected to work and work is not always fun and what they feel like doing. My 2 oldest are only 10 and 13 and both have had small jobs (pet sitting, newspaper delivery, etc) for a couple of year and have saved large amounts of money from these jobs. They know at age 15, they must seek more formal employment, but they have already learned responsbility and commitment.

 

My dc see my example. They know I have multiple degrees from "good" schools and have a made a choice to be with them. They know the choice affects us financially and they see that I work part time jobs during "off" hours to help the family. They know one of my jobs could be considered below me (educationally). As a result, they know there is no job you can be overqualified to do in order to support yourself and your family.

 

It's not the flexibility. It's the values you teach. If being flexible means everything revolve around your dc's whims then your dc will not be prepared for the world.

[Ellie]

I guess it depends on how "flexible" you are in your daily life, not just on when you do Official School Stuff.

 

Our dc knew that Sundays meant church morning and evening, and we were on time, always. Wednesdays meant church, and we were on time, always. We had regular bedtimes and meals. When we were going somewhere and had to be there by a certain time, we were always there on time.

 

So if we were "flexible" on when the dc learned to read or do math, or where we actually sat down to do anything academic for the two days a week that we actually did Official School, or if I counted their Camp Fire badges as part of our curriculum rather than using textbooks for everything, which is a kind of flexiblity, I don't think that hindered my dc's ability to function in society. I think my dc had a broader view of life than children who spend all day long in classrooms for 12 years, and as adults today they are productive, happy adult women.

[ereks mom]

Flexibility shouldn't take the place of responsibility. When you impose deadlines and schedules on your dc, you are teaching them responsibility.

 

I agree. This is exactly why we, in our homeschool, have a daily schedule as well as assignments (yes, even homework) with due dates.

 

That is the beauty of homeschooling that you can attend the [art] exhibit, but, the downside is often times we then say, "Well, I know that your essay was due on Friday, but, since we took today to go to the museum, we'll just bump that to Tuesday."

 

I am more guilty of this than I'd like to admit!

 

The older my dc get, the more rigid I get when it comes to deadlines and scheduling.

 

Me too. Once they get to the high school level, you pretty much must do this if they're going to be able to complete all the necessary work.

 

Great post! It got me to thinking about how I handle these kinds of things.

[angela in ohio]

A local homeschooler who is a college professor often says that the homeschooled students she sees struggle because they are not used to having to work around someone else's schedule, and many are used to being able to negotiate every assignment. (She also says that most of them can't write very well, but that is a whole other thread...)

[starlashine]

I agree that a schedule must be given to homeschool children, and must be made more rigid as one approaches high school. Though, by being home, my son gets to see hubby trudge off to work every day. I think that the examples we set as parents, and how fully we explain some of the not so negotiable things in life, the better off our children will be when faced with the real world.

[orangearrow]

Flexibility shouldn't take the place of responsibility. When you impose deadlines and schedules on your dc, you are teaching them responsibility.

 

Really great things that come up: field trips, relatives visit, vacation opportunities, shouldn't necessarily take the place of that essay that is due or project that is due. It's not real life, imho, to bump an essay because a really great art exhibit came and you decided to take advantage of it. That is the beauty of homeschooling that you can attend the exhibit, but, the downside is often times we then say, "Well, I know that your essay was due on Friday, but, since we took today to go to the museum, we'll just bump that to Tuesday."

 

What do we teach our dc? I do believe that we should take advantage of those opportunities when they arise, but, we should also instill in our dc that in the real world of college and work, deadlines aren't usually bumped. They are pretty steadfast. In ps, when I would be home sick, I would still have to turn in my papers and projects on time unless there were extenuating circumstances (prolonged sickness). It's the same thing in the real world.

 

The older my dc get, the more rigid I get when it comes to deadlines and scheduling. I have to plan ahead. I make sure I know about things like special exhibits, field trip opportunities, etc ahead of time to adjust our schedule accordingly when I can. If I can't, we have a decision to make. Do we go on the field trip? But, that might mean that we double up on something the next day in order to get that essay or project done.

 

It might sound harsh, but, I'm trying to prepare them for real life and to be successful at real life. Deadlines are a part of that.

 

Just my 2 cents!

 

 

:iagree: We've always been rather relaxed - mainly because *I* stink at staying on a schedule. Especially someone else's schedule! LOL

 

But, my oldest is starting 5th grade now and so this is the year. We are getting up at a certain time and doing school within a certain schedule. I am working to plan ahead much better in order to schedule in those "fun" activities instead of finding out a few days before, and letting those "fun" learning activities bump reports that were due Fri to next Tuesday (something I've been really guilty of doing, lol).

 

My dh was homeschooled, and one of his biggest requests is that, as the kids get older, I continue to expect more from them and give them more scheduled day-to-day activities so that they are prepared for "The Real World" when they find it one day. ;)

[Cathy in IL]

I think the flexibility in homeschooling is for me, not so much for my children. I set the schedule and they follow it. I can change it to meet our families needs, but the children have a schedule with timeframes set and consequences if they do not meet the deadlines I set. For example, if chores are not cheerfully completed by a certain time - no TV. If they are not ready to leave the house when the schedule says to -they go to bed early that night. I like thta homeschooling allows me to teach my children timeliness and responsibility in a way thta works for me.

 

I suppose most children will grow up to enter a career where they have to conform to someone else's schedule, but they may end up getting creative and get a "job" like mine. I provide emergency care in my home to children in crisis situations. I am "on-call" 24/7, but I essentially set my own schedule. I am able to be a single, stay-at-home mom, and still provide for my children. I think homeschooling helps my children explore and discover their passions. Maybe they will build a career around those passions that give them more freedom than the traditional workforce.

[Joanne]

What an interesting and provocative entry you linked.

 

In earlier cultures, a child was at his parents’ side throughout the day, learning how to do things that were not just make-work chores, but an essential contribution to the vital needs of the household. Childhood was going to be over very quickly. By the time a child was 12 or 13 he would be thought capable of making binding life-long spiritual commitments, as seen by the traditional ages for sacramental Confirmation or Bar and Bat Mizvah. By the time his body was fully formed, he would be expected to do the equivalent of an adult day’s work, or even more if he was strong. He could expect to enter the full-fledged ranks of grownups soon after, and marry in the latter half of his teens. Childhood was a swift passageway to adulthood, and adulthood was a much-desired state of authority and respect.

 

This is my historic perception as well. I think it mirrors homeschooling; at least in my home and especially in the last year. Since the kids can remember, I've run a business and they've assisted. We are currently managing our second fireworks stand and the kids are absolutely expected to be a productive part of it. Both my sons have assisted with my DH's (their step dad's) "side jobs" of replacing siding on a house, making repairs, and now painting the exterior of that house.

 

My DH started working as a tween, as did I. It's more difficult now to get hired by regular businesses than when we were young; but we are looking for and expecting the kids to participate in real, productive and skill building work long before emancipation.

 

These years in extended schooling constitute a sweet life, but it changes abruptly when the graduate hits the sidewalk. Suddenly the child who has been raised on endless flexibility is faced with having to get to work on time, dress as expected, take breaks only at appointed times, and get up the next day and do it all over again. Life after school turns out to have a lot of inflexible expectations, and children who’ve been raised on unlimited flexibility hit it like a brick wall.

 

Bad logic. This assumes that the child in question - and most children - have "endless flexibility". I don't agree with the assumption. Many students, even long term ones and especially many accelerated ones are expected to work in addition to school, to dress appropriately, show up on time, rinse and repeat.

 

. Now we face a kind of artificial disaster, in which schooling has been so dumbed down that a career once made possible by a high school degree now requires a Bachelor’s or even higher. People spend ever more years in school hoping to attain credentials for a career, when once a high school diploma would have done.

 

I'm at a loss responding to this one mostly because I'm ignorant about the truth.

 

I do agree that most even entry level jobs require a degree. I've heard conflicting opinions/info on the content of education. The need for extended ed has grown.

 

I've heard that the content of school used to be much more rigorous.

I've *also* heard that what kids learn today is much more than we used to.

 

Young people are not too immature to marry, unless we tell them they are. Fifty years ago, when the average bride was 20, the divorce rate was half what it is now, because the culture encouraged and sustained those marriages. But if we communicate to young people that we think they’re inherently incapable of making a marriage work, they will surely meet that expectation.

 

I like "the culture encouraged and sustained those marriages". IMO, and IME, people who are "against divorce" have rarely shown up on the keeping marriage healthy side before a divorce becomes evident or even earlier when a marriage shouldn't happen. But I think the divorce rate is high for very complex reasons; her essay *may* speak to part of that.

 

A good 1/3 of the people I know who are "responsible and productive" adults do not have what is known as a traditional schedule. I don't agree that we need to 9 - 5 train our kids. Character train, yes. Train them to make and keep appointments and commitments, yes.

 

I *do* think we have become child CENTERED in many respects rather than *family* centered. I have a chapter on this in my book. Being child centered is dangerous in both the short and long term.

 

I'm not sure I agree with her leaps, but I liked reading and thinking about her assertions.

 

Tonight, my boys will work hard and long at the fireworks stand, stay overnight and tomorrow all of us will work hard all day providing the family income. And then I'll make sure they have plenty of time where they can "just be kids". ;):lurk5::D:auto:

[Cheryl in NM]

I haven't read any responsees yet, but my gut feeling about this is that we aren't trying to raise kids to fit into corporate America. We are homeschooling our children so they will learn to think and educate themselves. These type of people don't fit in corporate America very well. I think we are raising a generation of independent business people. Our kids are going to take over the world with their ideas and ability to think for themselves. Fitting in the peg is not what life is about and life doesn't depend on being able to fit in the peg.

 

ETA: I knew I'd have to add to what I said. I just get all excited when I have something to say that I want to respond before I forget! Anyway, of course we need to instill a sense of schedule and responsibility. That being said, homeschooled people are generally independent thinkers. They see what needs to be done and figure out how to get it done. That's what we need in this country; we're in a rut and need to open our eyes and move forward and take care of business.

[Diana in OR]

I think those are good points, but it doesn't just apply to hsing. Here's a scenario from my own life:

 

I started public school at age 5, with the typical holiday and summer breaks. I continued in school until I graduated college. 3 months after college graduation, I got a job as an elementary teacher, pretty much going along the same schedule as always. When I was teaching, I didn't get a summer job or go to summer school. I preferred to have my summers completely free, especially when I was single. Somtimes I'd spend a week as a camp counselor or visiting my family. And I'd take a week or two extra to prepare for the upcoming school year. I went from that to being a sahm. I'm planning to substitute teach next school year, and I may eventually go back to classroom teaching. I have no idea what it would be like to have a regular job, with a regular schedule year-round. I'm confident I could do it, but it would be a different life for me altogether.

[K&Rs Mom]

I haven't read any responsees yet, but my gut feeling about this is that we aren't trying to raise kids to fit into corporate America. We are homeschooling our children so they will learn to think and educate themselves. These type of people don't fit in corporate America very well. I think we are raising a generation of independent business people. Our kids are going to take over the world with their ideas and ability to think for themselves. Fitting in the peg is not what life is about and life doesn't depend on being able to fit in the peg.

 

This is why my dh has become convinced that homeschooling is the key to saving our economy. The current outschool system was set up to grow factory workers, at which it was really pretty good. To grow entrepreneurs, we need a more flexible program.

 

I think it's important to teach our dc that the world does not revolve around them, but we can do that by letting them feel the natural consequences of their actions now, while those consequences are small. It is going to sink in a lot faster when your 14yo gets fired from her first babysitting job for being late than anything you can tell her or make her write an essay about, and she won't make that same mistake at age 25, when it really does matter.

[dragons in the flower bed]

Particularly interesting to me was the sentence: Life after school turns out to have a lot of inflexible expectations, and children who’ve been raised on unlimited flexibility hit it like a brick wall.

 

 

Where is this flexibility in homeschooling? They promised it to me when I began unschooling, but I quickly found that the courses I wanted to take ran on the days that were convenient for the instructor, that the laundry and dishes were entirely inflexible about not becoming moldy after three or four days, and that a fast way to unlearn a skill was to be "flexible" about when I practiced it.

 

There are always restraints present, and most of us have to bump against the boundary to learn that it's there. Let's not mistake that adjustment process for unpreparedness.

[KAR120C]

I think the flexibility in homeschooling is for me, not so much for my children. I set the schedule and they follow it. I can change it to meet our families needs, but the children have a schedule with timeframes set and consequences if they do not meet the deadlines I set.

I get the benefit of flexibility, and he has to get his work done when I say so. And honestly I don't think he's going to find a future teacher or boss who is as inflexible as I can be... ;)

[Robin in Tx]

Thanks for all the thoughtful responses! I'm struggling with balancing self discipline and structure with the exhortation you hear all the time not to do "school at home." I think it's because I am one of those parents who is quick to extend a deadline to squeeze in an impromptu field trip. I'm pretty sure if my dd went to school, she would have a hard time adjusting to expectations and deadlines, and the responsibility of taking down all her assignments, making sure she understood them, and the self discipline of getting them done. On time. Properly. Without constant nagging from me.

 

FWIW, I think the "flexibility" that the author of the article is talking about is not the same sort of "schedule flexibility" we are talking about - she is talking about the baby boomer generation's tendency to not direct their children well and not helping them find a path to pursue, all for the sake of being flexible and keeping all options open.

 

Thanks for the discussion. Much to think about!

[Sahamamama]

My gut feeling about this is that we aren't trying to raise kids to fit into corporate America. We are homeschooling our children so they will learn to think and educate themselves. These type of people don't fit in corporate America very well... Fitting in the peg is not what life is about and life doesn't depend on being able to fit in the peg.

 

I've been mulling this over all evening... Today my daughter (3.5 years old) and I went to the library, just to check out a few books. We met a friend from church while there, and she encouraged us to join in the "Story Time," something I've thought about doing before, but with the twins' schedule, never wanted to obligate my mom to babysit for us all that time...

 

Well... in we went, and the children's librarian was doing a little song and dance about a duck or something, then we sang a few other songs, then did a rhyme or two, chanted a few other things... Nothing really memorable or meaningful for us....

 

I looked at my daughter's face. She seemed to be enjoying the "group" aspect of it, seemed to be wondering why we were all so suddenly silly, but kept looking at me as if to say, "Mommy, what is the point of doing this?" All the other little kids and moms were going along with whatever nonsense was being presented, seemingly without any hesitation.... And there sat Tigger and I, completely out of our element. We are so unaccustomed to doing something meaningless for its own sake, or because the group does it, or because it's "time for X," that we (I, certainly) felt at a loss as to how to make ourselves conform.

 

Is this a good trait? Is this not a good trait? Is this what my children will miss out on, if I homeschool them -- being able to easily join in with a group doing nothing in particular?

 

Honestly, I couldn't wait to get out of there. When we were back out in the sunshine and fresh air, Tigger said to me, "Mommy, let's get home so we can rescue Grammy from the babies." ;)

[Rosie_0801]

I think most people are capable of adapting to situations like handing in assignments. If not, they usually learn after copping the consequences a few times. Now, something like thinking for themselves, lots of people never learn that...

Rosie

[Christine]

I read an article somewhat similar.

 

It was by a some college official that was talking about incoming students. He mentioned if he had one complaint about incoming students it was the fact that parents apparrently neglected to teach children to wake up to an alarm. Parents had been waking their children for years, and then coming back to re-wake them. . .(and again), and then "riding" the kids till they got up and moving and where they had to be. Then, these kids were coming to colleges and their parents weren't there to do this for them.

 

I will say though, that I am a particularly bad offender with the whole schedule thing. For example, I give my eldest son a weekly schedule and for the most part he does very well with it. But, by golly, should he have, say, a science test on Friday he won't actually take it until Sunday. Effectively taking part of Friday all of Saturday to study for it. That needs to stop. . . .*sigh*

[Robin in Tx]

I think most people are capable of adapting to situations like handing in assignments. If not, they usually learn after copping the consequences a few times. Now, something like thinking for themselves, lots of people never learn that...

Rosie

 

 

This is a good point, Rosie. I agree that adapting to workloads and schedules is basically a habit thing that most people can accomplish with a little effort.

 

Thinking for oneself, though... I sense that you're suggesting that is one of the benefits of homeschooling? I don't disagree with you, but that begs the question - are we saying that public school children never learn to think for themselves? That homeschool school children do learn that just because they're homeschooled? What is it that teaches a child to think for themselves? Why do we assume that that will inherently exist in the home of a homeschooled child but not in the home of a public schooled child?

 

Okay, I realize I'm changing the subject here... LOL

 

Additionally, about the comments made elsewhere in the thread about the schools being a place to turn out pegged factory workers, etc.... I don't think that's true anymore. I want to see some evidence to back that up. Because here in Houston, there is a big shortage of skilled workers - a really BIG shortgage. There have been several news reports about this recently. One of cited reasons is that high schools have become more and more college prep and have offered less and less vocational training. Around here it is absolutely untrue that the high schools are turning out the necessary skilled labor workforce.

 

The linked article still resonates with me with regards to how, as a homeschooler, I have had pie in the sky ideas about homeschooling allowing us to chase after whatever interests us at the moment... that's nice, and like the author said, it's a sweet time indeed, but in reality dh has had to work his tail off to make that possible for us, and this is not a realistic lifestyle for dd unless she happens to marry well (financially). I really don't think that my dd knows what it means to *really* work hard to accomplish something... partly because she is very bright and everything comes easy to her... partly because she just hasn't been in an environment where she has had to do so (which is my fault I suppose, but again... I don't know how to artificially simulate said environment!).

[Peela]

I havent read the other responses but we have a definite routine and I hope we are preparing the kids for the world out there. I think the child who spends years at university to do a degree that is generally hard to find work with was sheltered or badly prepared, and thats not a problem with homeschooling as such. Its just an unrealistic outlook on life, not doing your research properly. (One thing to do it knowing theres not much work and following your passion anyway- another to get a rude shock at the other end because you didn't realise there's no work in your field because you were living in la la land).

 

We have schedules and routine AND the kids have chores and responsibilities AND they have REAL work in their teen years. Both my kids have jobs already, they are 12 and 14. My 14yo has an accounting job, a cooking job and a babysitting job. There are consequences for not doing her work well. The 12yo babysits.

 

I dont know but I think its more to do with parenting than homeschooling. Grounded parenting will compensate to some extent.

[linders]

Before my SAHM days, I was an engineering manager and one year hired 3 fresh-out-of-college kids. All bright, all eager. Maybe too bright. But 2 of them had no concept of certain things:

 

1) They were low on the totem pole, and thus got to do some of the mundane (but necessary) tasks. One had the audacity to tell me that he had had a high GPA and thus was "way beyond" this kind of work.

 

2) Weekly staff meetings were at 7 am so that the field people could get it over with and get out into the field. Another of my kids refused (until threatened with termination) to come on time because she "wasn't a morning person." As evidence, she told me how she had made sure to schedule all classes after 10 am.

 

3) Both of these punks (I use the term affectionately now) missed many deadlines early on, and were surprised, after trying to negotiate new deadlines, that these deadlines really mattered.

 

Then there was my third punk. Knuckle down, do the work, on time and well, etc. Guess who ended up being made a teamlead? And being invited to strategy meetings (she also had some great innovative ideas to share - and still managed the "corporate America" stuff.)

 

It isn't a homeschooling issue. We really are tending to raise some coddled kids.

[elegantlion]

I haven't read any responsees yet, but my gut feeling about this is that we aren't trying to raise kids to fit into corporate America. We are homeschooling our children so they will learn to think and educate themselves. These type of people don't fit in corporate America very well. I think we are raising a generation of independent business people. Our kids are going to take over the world with their ideas and ability to think for themselves. Fitting in the peg is not what life is about and life doesn't depend on being able to fit in the peg.

 

ETA: I knew I'd have to add to what I said. I just get all excited when I have something to say that I want to respond before I forget! Anyway, of course we need to instill a sense of schedule and responsibility. That being said, homeschooled people are generally independent thinkers. They see what needs to be done and figure out how to get it done. That's what we need in this country; we're in a rut and need to open our eyes and move forward and take care of business.

 

:iagree: My dh is self-employed and creates his own schedule. My dad worked 2nd shift at a TV station, definitely not corporate America. I'm not sure about ds and corporate life.

 

However, he has expressed interest in the military, so over the next few years I plan on trying a regimented schedule for some physical activities. We'll see how that one goes. :glare:

 

My ds loves schedules, but we make them, not someone else. The first year we homeschooled we had major discipline issues until my ds "highly recommended" we implement a real schedule. Worked like a charm, but it was our rules, our responsibility, not someone elses.

 

As homeschooling parents I believe we are in a great situation to implement the characteristics of responsibility and accountability. I pepper those aspects throughout our lessons.

 

I don't think this issue is only for homeschoolers. My dh hired two 18 year olds to work with him over the summer. One week of work and then they disappeared, no phone call, no we quit, no nothing. They must have missed their accountability class in high school. :001_huh:

[Robin in Tx]

It isn't a homeschooling issue. We really are tending to raise some coddled kids.

 

Oh yes... definitely not a homeschooling issue. As a matter of fact, the original article was not about homeshcooling at all.

 

I'm just reflecting on how, as a homeschooler, the temptation to coddle is even stronger... and how can I fight that and balance that fight with the unique opportunities for flexibility and self pacing that homeschooling affords.

 

Sounds like a midlife crisis, eh? LOL

[WTMindy]

Bad logic. This assumes that the child in question - and most children - have "endless flexibility". I don't agree with the assumption. Many students, even long term ones and especially many accelerated ones are expected to work in addition to school, to dress appropriately, show up on time, rinse and repeat.

 

 

I think of kids today as "overscheduled." They go to school (where they can only take breaks at certain times, they have to be on time, etc) to soccer and piano and scouts, and baskbetball, and tuba lessons, and.....I think kids need more time to just "BE."

[Rosie_0801]

Thinking for oneself, though... I sense that you're suggesting that is one of the benefits of homeschooling? I don't disagree with you, but that begs the question - are we saying that public school children never learn to think for themselves? That homeschool school children do learn that just because they're homeschooled? What is it that teaches a child to think for themselves? Why do we assume that that will inherently exist in the home of a homeschooled child but not in the home of a public schooled child?

 

I am willing to change my mind if light of other evidence, but for now I believe people need to be taught to think critically. Maybe some people learn this in school, I didn't. I have a BA and still don't feel my skills are where they ought to be. In my experience, public schools generally don't encourage the development of those sorts of skills. You can get away with answering the questions at the bottom of the page word for word from the text. You know that opinion pieces are to be written displaying the teacher's opinion, not yours. I wasn't taught to reference essays properly until uni. In high school, we only had to reference direct quotes. At home we were encouraged to form our own opinions, but we were not supposed to actually disagree with our parents out loud. Obviously if we run our homeschooling lives like this, our kids won't learn to think either. I am willing to believe there are brick and mortar schools out there that view thinking as a good thing, not some form of rebellion. :) Though I'm not sure if I could deal with 25 students all wanting to express thoughts. Can you imagine the noise? How would you get any WORK done?!

 

I think the flexibility and smaller class size of homeschooling can allow time to digress from the regular program to think and talk about something that deserves the attention. We don't have the same sort of classroom control issues that a school teacher has, so we don't have to fear the challenge of kids thinking at us or disagreeing. We don't have to spend time jumping through unneccesary hoops because the principal or someone says so.

That's how I'm going to try and make it turn out anyway!

:)

Rosie