Jennifer3141 Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 The kicker came when she laughed in my face about giving a food challenge to my youngest. My oldest has a physical and psychological reaction to red dye so I do not bring any red dye into my house. My youngest thinks red dye is gross since it is a by product of coal processing. The week before the pool trip, Joan made cupcakes. My youngest asked if they had red dye and Joan told her no. As Joan is telling me the story, laughing the whole time, she wanted to prove that red dye had no affect and she even said that she gave my youngest three, saying, "Here, I will let you have these." I asked if she knew they had red dye before hand and she gleefully said yes. (She is the hero, I am the villian for restricting her diet.) The friendship is OVER with this. You could put up with a little crazy but outright parental undermining? Uh, NO. She doesn't get to make the choice that your kids get red dye if you have determined they don't. All done! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 Sever all contact. This woman sounds like poison. You can feel for her daughter, but she is not a safe person for your family. The whole purposely disrepecting food allergies is reason enough to run away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 :iagree: Sever all contact. This woman sounds like poison. You can feel for her daughter, but she is not a safe person for your family. The whole purposely disrepecting food allergies is reason enough to run away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 I agree that staying away from Joan is the best bet. However, she gave the cupcake with the red dye not to the child who has had the physical and physiological reactions to it (which, while awful, is not the same as an anaphalaxis allergy), but to the child who did NOT, who thinks that red dye is gross, bc it is made from coral......... That's still awful. I'm in no way supporting what she did. But, it just seems that people are misreading this a bit. No, I don't think WE are the ones misreading. Nutso Joan is told that child A has bad reactions to red dye, so she clandestinely gives red dye to child B, and then does her So There dance because she has "proved" the OP is wrong. A) that is psycho. 2) she lied to a child to trick her into eating something she finds objectionable in order to prove her illogical point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 don't walk away. Run away as far and as fast as possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiver0f10 Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 I agree with those who said run. asap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5knights3maidens Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Run...Away...and do not look back.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 There is NO way in the WORLD I'd allow this lady's special kind of crazy in my life. She's not a relative. Run away. Fast. See her at park day if she shows up. Smile, wave, and then sit on the OTHER side of the park. My word, I can't imagine any reason I'd keep being around here. I understand your kids like her daughter. But I'm sure there's other nice kids around that don't have crazy mothers. :iagree: Except with the bolded. Leave. I'm not kidding, she sounds certifiable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 If you want the girls to maintain a friendship then you have to be really firm with your boundries. I would only allow the friend over my house. No sleepovers. No mom allowed to hang out either. If it was me, I would explain to dd that mom is a nutcase and you are sorry but the friendship can not continue. Well, I would use kinder words, but I'd definitely keep this relationship to park days only, or whatever you were originally doing with the group. She certainly has no social skills; she wasn't home-schooled (ha ha). I would not let my kids be alone with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 There are enough problems with this woman to cause a decade's worth of stress. So you have to decide how much you want to sign up for. (I vote zero). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djsmom Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 walk away. quickly. I don't know how you could avoid her yet still maintain the girls' friendship. It stinks and isn't fair, but I would steer clear and keep her away from my kids, even if that meant the girls couldn't see each other much anymore. :iagree: I would not trust her around my children alone at. all. Not even for a second. Something is definitely not right with that lady. You are exposing your child to danger and a toxic woman. I'm sorry that it will mean that your daughter will lose a friend, but it isn't worth it, in my opinion. Some friendships between kids and parents can be separated but this one can't because the mother inserts herself in there. I whole-heartedly agree with all of the above. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Yes, run the heck away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Some of it sounds like she might have Asperger's. Regardless, she can't be trusted. I wouldn't expose my child to this person, even indirectly. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 She sent me another email where she completely rewrote what happen with her as the hero and me as the villian. Nice. :glare: What if she made up stuff about me while her daughter was at my house and called the police? I have decided that I can not even allow this child in my house. I can not control who attends the park gatherings. I believe if I leave when she comes, she will wear out her welcome with the others quickly. Be prepared for her to make up things about you to the ladies at the park, too. She sounds unstable and vindictive. Do YOU have friends in the homeschool group? Be prepared to ask them to tell you if the lady starts spreading her "Melissa is a villian" message. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in NC Posted June 4, 2012 Author Share Posted June 4, 2012 Nice. :glare: Be prepared for her to make up things about you to the ladies at the park, too. She sounds unstable and vindictive. Do YOU have friends in the homeschool group? Be prepared to ask them to tell you if the lady starts spreading her "Melissa is a villian" message. I have spoken with our group's mother hen and let her know what has happened. Joan is a new member and has not met mother hen yet. I let mother hen know that I will be "working on remodeling my kitchen" for the next couple of weeks so I will not be available for Joan to make a scene like she promised to do in her last email. Joan's last email was all about how many problem I had. I told her to go work on her mommy issues somewhere else. That made her head explode. She promised to let me know what she thinks of me when she sees me next.:tongue_smilie: So now she believes she has the last word and she ended the relationship. If I am correct and she is a psychopath, she will grow bored without an arguement and move on. I have sent up her email to go to my junk folder from now on. Hopefully, this is the end for the Nutso Joan story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Hopefully, this is the end for the Nutso Joan story. Shucks... and I just started reading... so I, for one, am disappointed and insist you MUST keep contact for days when I have time to keep up on the nutcases out there. ;) (But I don't blame you for your choices and I'd do the same. I feel for her daughter.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Shucks... and I just started reading... so I, for one, am disappointed and insist you MUST keep contact for days when I have time to keep up on the nutcases out there. ;) (But I don't blame you for your choices and I'd do the same. I feel for her daughter.) Personally, I think this Joan and Audrey's dinner guest are either the same person or desperately need to meet IRL because that would be a match made in heaven. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnitWit Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Personally, I think this Joan and Audrey's dinner guest are either the same person or desperately need to meet IRL because that would be a match made in heaven. I was thinking the same thing! :lol: OP, it might be helpful for you to also keep in mind that *you* were struggling with this because of the choices your own parents made and you want your dd to learn healthy boundaries and children learn that, in part, by watching their parents set healthy boundaries...for themselves AND their children. This is something *I* have had to learn myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Personally, I think this Joan and Audrey's dinner guest are either the same person or desperately need to meet IRL because that would be a match made in heaven. :iagree: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 I agree with everyone who said to RUN away and avoid all contact with her. This is an excellent opportunity for you to teach your daughter how to set boundaries and to keep this type of person out of her life, even when it means making sacrifices (like losing her friend). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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