and so it begins......

[Wordfairy]

You don't have to prove your educational decisions to anybody. Not even "family". I wish some of these concerntrolls would work on fixing PS if they are really so worried about children failing in this country. There are far more children slipping through the cracks in B&M schools than those that homeschool.

[Night Elf]

Shoot, I'd tell him he was right and that it was your goal in life to raise ignorant children. :tongue_smilie:

 

Tell him the internet is full of information and you're sure a public school educated big boy like him could find the information on his own.

[myfunnybunch]

wants proof that they do well on standardized tests. :glare: I haven't even technically started homeschooling and already I have to deal with this??

 

No time to read the other responses, but wanted to answer the above question:

 

NO. You don't have to deal with this.

 

It is none of your cousin's business.

 

I'd recommend not even engaging in trying to prove or convince. It sets a tone for the coming years that somehow others can be involved in your decision to homeschool.

 

And a :grouphug: for you with a big helping of :thumbdown: for your cousin. Really?!?!?!

 

Cat

[myfunnybunch]

Shoot, I'd tell him he was right and that it was your goal in life to raise ignorant children. :tongue_smilie:

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

[Tammyla]

I would ignore it, and set some boundaries asap. The bookBOUNDARIES, by Cloud & Townsend is at most libraries. It's an excellent read.;)

[6packofun]

Exactly. Engaging ignorant thinking like this sometimes gives the person a reason to think their objections are valid. Don't get into the debate; the fruit of your homeschooling harvest will be enough to sway any rational person! lol

 

(I wouldn't say never engage in discussion, but when someone has such a strong opinion based on, quite literally, *NOTHING* (or only the opinions of some other ignoramus? a few articles? ONE homeschooler who was doing a shoddy job?), then that person is not the sort to convince.

[Tammyla]

:iagree: And someone going through a 2nd party to voice their thinking is just looking for something to pick a fight over, but too chicken to actually discuss it:banghead:.

 

Exactly. Engaging ignorant thinking like this sometimes gives the person a reason to think their objections are valid. Don't get into the debate; the fruit of your homeschooling harvest will be enough to sway any rational person! lol

 

(I wouldn't say never engage in discussion, but when someone has such a strong opinion based on, quite literally, *NOTHING* (or only the opinions of some other ignoramus? a few articles? ONE homeschooler who was doing a shoddy job?), then that person is not the sort to convince.

Edited May 22, 2012 by Tammyla

[Miss Marple]

I would NOT ignore it. You will always be questioned on your homeschooling journey, so it's time to be honest and tell them what you think. Personally--I'd say that homeschoolers are as varied as any other student-some great and others not so hot, then I'd explain my reasons for choosing it, while also knowing statistics of the public schooled kids in your area. I'd mention the rules that you must follow(if your state has any), and all the great learning opportunities that you'll use. Be confident and firm, always!

...my cousin was this way, too. Exactly. My son has never been to school--so I have had years to put up with naysayers. They know what a great guy he is, and I also tell them quite deliberately that he scored a 2220 on his first try at the SAT!

 

:iagree:

FWIW, even if it isn't anyone else's business, one usually comes off as defensive and insecure if one doesn't provide some sort of response. One does not need to engage in continuous discussion esp. if it appears unprofitable. Presenting a well thought out response with a confident attitude will usually stop the questioning. And, who knows, it may bring the person to your side as an ally. And, it is always good to have allies :D and it's always good to have a response - you may need it in a situation in which you can't just "pass the bean dip".

 

This is just the beginning of the homeschool journey. Develop a good response and present it with a smile and confidence. People will think you know what you are talking about :)

 

I wouldn't pass the information through a 3rd party. I would tell the 3rd party that if the party of the 2nd part wishes to know more, I would be happy to discuss it with him, but that it isn't an efficient use of your time to send the information through a 3rd party.:tongue_smilie:

[kalanamak]

I would NOT ignore it. You will always be questioned on your homeschooling journey, so it's time to be honest and tell them what you think.

 

This only works with sincere people who can actually listen. Most of the posts here complaining about what people say are from irrational angry people who want to tell you, but not listen a scrap.

 

I've had two very mild comments, so it is not inevitable one will be "questioned". My family never said peep except my mother mentioning she hs her two eldest for a year when they were stationed near bad schools (this was 1945), and my sister, who used to teach, who is all for it.

 

So, when someone asks a sincere question, I answer sincerely, but a rude remark gets a smile and a bland, witty response, and then the bean dip. Lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.

[ErinD]

To put it bluntly, tell your cousin (and your sister) to get stuffed. Why is your sister even passing that nonsense on?

[mothergooseof4]

Well, after eleven years of hsing, my response would have probably been, "Well, then I guess we are fine because we have no plans to do standardized testing." But, then again, I don't give a hoot what others say about our hsing.....even other hsers.

 

But, I remember how hurtful these types of things were when we first started. It helped that late dh and I had prayed and researched together and felt totally convicted that this was what we were being led to do. We never really allowed people to question our decision, but were occasionally faced with the usual questions.

 

I will tell you how I handle these sorts of situations in our family. Late dh's mother hated our hsing choice. She is their grandmother, loves them terribly, and wants what's best for them. We have the same goals, just different opinions of how to get there. I love and respect her and wish that she was comfortable with our decision, but ultimately, she is not the one God put in the position to raise our kids. I am....well and now, new dh. When hit with her question about how hsers do on standardized testing and I told her that there was plenty of research to show that hsers did great. She responded that research meant nothing to her because she could probably find just as much research stating the exact opposite of any point I made to her and backed up with supposed "research." This just showed me her attitude about it and after that I learned not to debate issues of any sort with her. I love her dearly, but when she states an opinion on most anything that I disagree with, I simply say, "Huh..interesting," and move on. She has gradually learned that she can state her opinion or an idea and at times it will peak my interest and I will look into it on my own, then implement it into our life or not. But, I will not debate it with her nor will I take verbal attacks about our lifestyle. She learned that the hard way. After many years of hsing, she all of a sudden started badgering me about it. Naturally and not as punishment, I pulled away for a bit which meant that her time with the kids was more limited. When questioned about it I simply told her that after so many years, I felt she should understand that hsing is not going to change, but that if she has a legitimate concern about any of the kids, she is welcome to voice it and drop it, but that she is not welcome to attack me for it and all decisions will be mine. I do not discuss hsing with her and am not aware of her current opinion, but from observing, I believe she looks at all of her grandchildren and would point out things that she wishes were different for those both hsed and psed.

 

My late dh's sister has never spoken directly to me about hsing. Instead, she has her dd tell my oldest that he is missing out on soooooo much by being hsed and that he should ask to go to ps. I know that this comes from her because 1) I know her personality and 2) her dd tells my ds that "my mom says...." I discuss with ds how he should handle his cousin's comments and how he feels about it all, but I do not address my SIL. If she directly comes to me, I might briefly answer a question, but I will not debate this issue with her. But, she hasn't come to me and her opinion is of NO value to me. Therefore, I do not worry with addressing her nor do I let her concerns have any affect on me.

 

Set boundaries.

[besroma]

Pass the bean dip.

 

:iagree:

[elfgivas]

:grouphug:

 

i'd deal with the triangulation with your sister, and wait and see on the rest.

 

"thanks for letting me know what our dear cousin is saying. if he really wants to know, he'll ask me himself. maybe the next time he asks you to pass something along, you can just suggest he ask me himself?"

 

and then if you think it might be the case, you can ask your sister if this is something she's wondering about too?

 

sigh....

ann

[Forget-Me-Not]

There is no way I would entertain any such request. Especially not from a cousin.

[REv1053]

Ignore, because (1) he didn't say it to you, and (2) he's not the boss of you or your children. :D

:iagree:

 

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

[Dolphin]

:iagree:

 

The sarcastic part of me would want to respond with something like, "Well, I heard our cousin is stupid and didn't do well on standardized tests." ;)

 

But, ignoring it is probably the better option.

 

:lol::lol:

 

My sarcastic thought was, if your cousin is so smart you could tell him to research it himself. Also, that a smart person researches before making statements.

 

But, pass the bean dip is probably the smarter option.

[Alphabetika]

Stay silent. It doesn't matter if he thinks your silence means that he's right. Someone who starts out with this type of opinion and is brazen enough to demand something from you when you owe him NOTHING will not be convinced. He will continue to argue and ask for more and defend his position. DO NOT ENGAGE!!! Standardized tests indicate nothing but how well the test-takers have been indoctrinated to the test. They have ZERO to do with intelligence or creativity. They are no proof.

 

I haven't read any other posts and others have probably said exactly what I'm saying, but I just wanted you to hear it again. Please don't allow your self to be bullied right out of the starting gate. Do what you want to do for YOUR family - take heart, and learn in freedom!

[jelbe5]

You don't need to justify your educational choices for your children to anyone, in the same way others don't need to justify their choices to you. Smile, nod and pass the bean dip.:grouphug:

[ilovemy4kids]

Ignore him. They are YOUR kids. We went through this in 1999 when we started. Ignored them all, and now they ALL think it's the best thing ever!

Sandra

[FO4UR]

...and so you put a stop to it....

 

 

 

Do not even enter into that conversation. The end.

 

 

 

He wants the stats. He can go dig.

 

 

These aren't his kids. It's not his business.

[fraidycat]

Well, to put another perspective on it...One of my top ten reasons for homeschooling is precisely to get AWAY from standardized tests, especially in elementary and middle school. I do not teach to "the test", I do not care about "the test". I will provide a well rounded education so that my dc can, if they so choose, take any tests required to attend college or university when they are older. I will not necessarily push college on them, either. Secondary education here is way too much about profit and way too little about EDUCATION, IMO.