c/p from college board: Greek life? Any experiences or opinions?

[Plucky]

I was never interested in Greek myself. I felt there was a bad stereotype about them that often was true.

 

Son is not interested in it either, but one hs mom mentioned that getting involved would be a good thing. Does anyone here have any good experiences/stories? I would only encourage one that was more academically focused or major oriented, and I haven't seen one, but I have not done a ton of research.

 

Opinions?

[Mama Geek]

I didn't do one either. I guess it would depend on how much the student is likely to get out and make friends. I met and hung out with lots of different people and I wasn't really a partier.

[Plucky]

I didn't do one either. I guess it would depend on how much the student is likely to get out and make friends. I met and hung out with lots of different people and I wasn't really a partier.

 

Yes, I don't want to encourage partying and my ds is not a partier. Do all frats party a lot?

[Remudamom]

Can't speak for a frat, but my sorority made sure I was fed, studied, got the right classes and helped out with anything I needed. I don't know where movies get the bad sorority girl thing because I never saw anything like that when I was in college. It was like having a big mess of sisters mothering me.

[catz]

I think it's varies quite a bit depending on where you go to school. Where I went, only a very small percentage of kids were involved in the Greek system and they were categorized "partiers". Where my brother went to school, it was a given that a majority of students would get involved in a fraternity or sorority and it provided housing and support for many, many kids.

[Plucky]

Can't speak for a frat, but my sorority made sure I was fed, studied, got the right classes and helped out with anything I needed. I don't know where movies get the bad sorority girl thing because I never saw anything like that when I was in college. It was like having a big mess of sisters mothering me.

 

That sounds wonderful. I don't know if guys do the same thing in a frat? I admit that movies have skewed my opinion of frats. :lol:

[Plucky]

I think it's varies quite a bit depending on where you go to school. Where I went, only a very small percentage of kids were involved in the Greek system and they were categorized "partiers". Where my brother went to school, it was a given that a majority of students would get involved in a fraternity or sorority and it provided housing and support for many, many kids.

 

 

Yes, at ds's uni few are involved in Greek Life, but they are doing their pitch right now for people/recruits.

[jar7709]

In addition to the school/university making a difference, each individual fraternity/sorority usually has its own tradition that appeals to a different personality. I was not in the Greek system, but at the small liberal arts college I attended, there were 4-5 fraternities and the same number of sororities. Some of them we hard partying, yes, and some appealed to the "jocks" or sporty types, but some also others appealed to the more studious or intellectual types and inaddition to the occasional social event, were also known to host things like chess club or really get into deep late night discussion. So I'd hesitate to completely write off all fraternities/sororities.

[bettyandbob]

I wasn't greek, but the experience depends on the school you attend and the fraternity/sorority you join. I've known people who used their greek connections long after college to network in the business world. It can be one more useful connection you can make.

 

Fraternity and sorority rush tends to be process for students to be matched with a like minded group. So it's unlikely that person who is serious about studying could end up in a frat that is serious about partying, unless the partying was something the person was seeking to force himself to take a break. I knew to people who did that. They stayed away from the frat house and studied hard and then went to the house to relax and party for an evening before getting back to work.

[Plucky]

I wasn't greek, but the experience depends on the school you attend and the fraternity/sorority you join. I've known people who used their greek connections long after college to network in the business world. It can be one more useful connection you can make.

 

 

This is what the hs mom meant when she recommended frats. Networking is something he would definitely like.

[momma2three]

I think it really depends entirely on the school. I don't think you can really make stereotypes about Greek life these days: there's sooooo much variance between schools and between fraternities. At some schools it might be the only way to live in on campus housing after Freshman year, at other schools it's a holdover from more-fraternity oriented days and are now something of a joke, at others the school has completely disbanded them and maybe came up with "social clubs" or something.

[gardenmom5]

My girls were aboslutely NOT interested and would have almost nothing nice to say about them. (1dd's lived in a "substance free" house that was a former greek house. She heard the parties going on down the street where a majority were getting drunk. that was the reputation of greek life at their high ranked university.) One of the greek houses had their charter revoked while they were there.

 

I didn't do greek. My mother did greek, but only because her mother pushed it on her. She seriously disliked it.

[golfcartmama]

Can't speak for a frat, but my sorority made sure I was fed, studied, got the right classes and helped out with anything I needed. I don't know where movies get the bad sorority girl thing because I never saw anything like that when I was in college. It was like having a big mess of sisters mothering me.

:iagree:

 

Also, they provide character building, leadership opportunities, life long friendships and networking for life. It's truly a wonderful experience. There are kids that 'party' and kids that don't in every organization...even the general student population. I was involved locally and nationally for many years and hands down will encourage both of my kids to go through recruitment if their school offers it. I know there are a lot of sites like this out there, but here are a few statistics---http://www.whygogreek.com/stats.html

[rutamattatt]

I was also Greek in college. I am not the stereotypical "sorority" girl, and neither were most of the girls in my sorority. I absolutely agree that it depends on the university and also on the individual sorority/fraternity what the experience is like.

 

I had a great experience. There was not a lot of partying in my sorority, but tons and tons of hanging out, supporting each other, and fun projects/philanthropies. I studied theater and was at a school several hours away from family, and it meant the world to me to see my sorority sisters show up to see the plays. I was sick one semester, and they all helped me catch up on work, etc. I valued the opportunities to hold an office too.

 

Again, it can depend, but I had no peer pressure issues, no negative hazing, no exclusiveness. I continued to be close friends to many non-Greeks. One of the best decisions for me at that school was to join. I still giggle a little when I see a car with a bumper sticker of my sorority.

 

I would encourage your child to ask around. It was fairly easy to figure out which groups would provide what I was hoping for and which would have not been "my thing".

[JessMcG]

I was totally prejudiced about going Greek in college. I was not interested at all. Looking back, I really wish I had given it a chance...at least seen what the different sororities had to offer.

[Trish]

Every fraternity/sorority system and chapter is unique. As is the school they're associated with. So you really need to "rush" in order to get a feel for what you're dealing with. If it seems like it's All About Partying, it probably is. Another one may have a nice social atmosphere and an emphasis on good grades. It's important to not try to join someplace where the people are clearly not like you. And don't join at all if you don't find a good fit. The positives for me were lifelong friendships, an Instant Social Circle to go along with the friends I had already made, opportunities for service projects, emphasis on academics and just a nice social atmosphere. There are at least 2 other sororities I would NOT have joined, and another one that was a maybe. My experience was good, YMMV.

[Parrothead]

I was totally prejudiced about going Greek in college. I was not interested at all. Looking back, I really wish I had given it a chance...at least seen what the different sororities had to offer.

:iagree: I'm going to at least have dd take a look at the possibility. My entire perspective was based on the movie Animal House.

[Tess in the Burbs]

It depends on the school. I did a service fraternity in college that was coed. I loved it. It was fun, we did service, and the contacts I made were great. I even had a job offer from a local organization after setting up a volunteer thing for them. They had parties but it wasn't the main part of the group.

 

I also did a sorority. I am not a girly girl type or ever had a large circle of friends. But this one group appealed to me and I had a decent time. I got an award for highest GPA my first semester with them. The mandatory study hall helped my grades for sure. We actually had a rotating list of parties we had to attend. BAsically half the group was required at any party the sorority had been invited to. So if you didn't want to go/couldn't go you just got a sister not on the mandatory list to go for you.

 

I will say when i transferred I chose not to be part of my sorority at another school. I met a gal joining that semester and she was being hazed. I complained but never heard of it stopping. I was told I couldn't be an active sister with my major.....my classes would deter from my sorority needs. So I didn't join.

 

Lucky me when I transferred yet again my sorority was starting up at the school. I chose to be an advisor instead which was fun. This school had very little greek going on and involvement was minimal.

 

My dh was in a fraternity. He doesn't drink. He made it clear from the get go his stance. They made him designated driver and his experience was good.

 

Your ds needs to look into the groups at that school and listen to the chatter about the greek system. If he doesn't know someone in a fraternity the odds of him getting in are slim anyway. I have heard of kids getting to day of initiation and they ban the kid. After paying money and everything. So bad things can happen in some groups. If your ds has no interest drop it. Either he wants to get involved or he doesn't.

[Plucky]

I was totally prejudiced about going Greek in college. I was not interested at all. Looking back, I really wish I had given it a chance...at least seen what the different sororities had to offer.

 

We are going to go to Greek Preview. They talk to parents as well and there is an orientation for us. From what I see there are some frats that have academics, leadership, and community service as main focuses. There are also dry frats.

 

May as well see what it is all about. :)

[OrganicAnn]

I went to a college that was 80% Greek. I used to say the motto was go Greek or go elsewhere. The good thing about it was that you had all types of kids in Greek organizations. In campus where only 10 to 20% are Greek you may a more narrow 'type' of person that is Greek. Sororities tended to be a little more tame, because they usually didn't have parties at their houses. Fraternities ran the full gamut from party houses to serious student houses. As a girl, I preferred the frats that were more respectful to women (and that varied a lot).

[hillfarm]

I was in a sorority in college. IME, Greek life varies greatly. I think each house has its own personality, which can change over the years as new pledges enter in to the group. Don't assume that all XYZ's are partiers just because they are on one particular campus. They may be the more studious house at another location.

 

I was a farm girl with very little experience dealing with people who weren't just like me. When I was growing up in Ohio, I thought someone from Indiana was exotic!:D One of the best benefits of sorority life for me was being placed in a position of having to work with people who were very different from me and and who had very different ideas about things. I learned a lot about tolerance, expectations, diversity, compromise, respect, etc.

 

I also tended to be a bit quiet and it was helpful that the Greeks offered a built-in social life. I was lucky that none of the social events (other than house meetings) were required so I could pick and choose whatever fit my mood and schedule.

 

I do feel that my sorority sisters were looking out for me. They had the low down (aka 411) on all of the fraternity guys and many of the independents. Many also had parents who owned their own businesses and we had an informal "internship placement" system where sisters' paents would offer summer opportunities within their companies. That was very nice and I know several girls who ended up working in the companies where they had done summer internships.

 

Just like anything, Greek life can be great or can be problematic. It amazes me how many people shun it because of some story they heard from the 1950's or some fictional movie they saw. All Greek houses are not created equal and they do change over time. Personally, I think many homeschoolers could benefit from the multiple opportunities for social interaction and the "family" feeling that often evolves in a Greek house.

[Harriet Vane]

My dh is a member of a fraternity and had an extremely positive experience with it in college, as did one of my dearest friends as well as some others I know.

 

For my husband and our handful of Greek friends, it was a friendly, fun, supportive environment. Neither my dh nor our friends drank, and while that was not the norm at all, they were accepted and respected. There was one time that dh was with a bunch of his fraternity brothers at a bar, and the guys were playing a drinking game. When it came to be dh's turn, he expected they would just skip over him, but they did NOT. Dh was hideously uncomfortable for about 30 seconds while the guys were singing, wondering how he could refuse the drink without causing offense. When it came time for him to "chug," one of his friends handed him a tall glass of milk. :) They guys had planned it this way and much hilarity ensued. Dh's stance not only on drinking but on many other things was accepted and respected. My dear friend and our other Greek friends experienced the same acceptance and respect within their various houses.

 

(I should say, dh and I do drink alcohol on occasion, in moderation. However, in college, in the fraternity, dh felt it wisest to just not drink at all.)

 

Yes, there are houses that include considerable pressure to engage in unwise activities. However, there are many that do not. Dh as well as our circle of other friends chose a house to rush that was accepting and friendly. There is enough time during Rush and other activities to get a sense for this.

 

My observation has been that business and academic fraternities do not operate at all like the regular sororities/fraternities. They are more like a club for whatever discipline it is they support. Some do have some of the elements of a regular Greek house such as having a Pledge Dad, etc., but not all. A friend of mine was in a business fraternity in college--most of the meetings were academic, though they did also have purely social gatherings as well. Such gatherings often included drinking, but my friend, who did not drink, was never pressured to drink, and was definitely an accepted and valued part of the group.

 

The one caution I give to folks considering the Greek system is to make sure that you know what your own core values are, and be ready to stand by them. My dh and many of our friends are evangelical Christians, and it was important to them to not get drunk, not sleep around, and do things like go to church or a weekly Bible study. These values were/are not the norm within the system, so it can be hard to stand for those values feeling somewhat isolated in your adherence to them. On the other hand, dh as well as our friends did find that calmly taking that stand from the first--not moralizing or being holier-than-thou but just stating their personal preference in a relaxed manner--brought respect from the first. Once that was established, they were not pressured.

 

I often hear folks unfamiliar with the system express a lot of negative concerns about the Greek system. Dh and I find this so frustrating, as often those stereotypes that people fear are true of only a small segment of the Greek system. Dh had a really positive experience, as did several of our dear friends. It continues to be a positive experience, too, as the guys in the fraternity have continued to be friends over the years.

Edited May 10, 2012 by strider

[dirty ethel rackham]

I was in a sorority in college at a large university. While most of the attention on the Greek system was focused on partying, that was not the entire picture. There were hard-partying sororities and fraternities. There were studious ones. There were ones that were a mixture of both. Many were very focused on philanthropy and service. While the sorority I was involved with did have its fair share of members who were big partiers, a majority were not. The core values were about service, loyalty (and being deserving of loyalt) and academics. There are so many worthwhile things I would not have tried if it weren't for my involvement in the sorority. It made the big university a smaller place.

[piraterose]

If you told me in high school, that I would be in a sorority my sophomore-senior years of college, I would have laughed in your face with a big "heck no". But my parents moved out of state my freshman year of college, and a college friend asked me to go through Rush with her (she was a legacy for one of our sororities) our sophomore fall. Needless to say, I'm the one that ended up pledging.

 

I went to a small liberal arts college. The frats has dorm like housing with their own kitchens. But the sororities only has little lodges for meetings. We lived in the normal dorms with everyone else and ate in the college's main cafeteria. I actually never roomed with a sorority sister, I roomed with my friends who were not greek.

 

Long story short, MY sorority was what I needed, at that time. Like someone mentioned, I probably would not have had much of a social life if I had not join. I don't think I would have even had a "date" if not for our dances that I asked a couple guys to. I have many fond memories and I am friends with many of my sisters on Facebook. There is a group of us even trying to plan a WDW trip to be in the half marathon next Feb.

 

Chapters are very individualized. After college I moved to a different state and joined the KD alumnae there. I had nothing in common with those KDs and stopped participating after a couple years. I have not found that having a KD background has help me in any particular way in the work or social world.

 

Another option I wish I had known more about was coed service fraternity. We had Alpha Phi Omega at my school. They lived in the regular dorms and it was more like a service club (I'm sure there was more to it than that, I just wasn't a member).

 

I don't think it was the end all be all of my life, but it was fun and I'm glad I decided to go Greek.

[chepyl]

There is truly no experience like rush to prepare you for job interviews. While being recruited, you talk to many people from the house, but that is just the begining. For three years, I was the one Interviewing girls. We would speak to 20+ girls in one day. We had to sell them on the house and learn enough about them in 5 minutes to know if they would be a good fit. I gained more interview experience than I could imagine.

 

Networking after college is great. The chapter I graduated from is matching current members with alumni in similar fields around the country for mentoring.

 

All Greek houses must maintain a certain gpa. Freshmen have manditory study hours and tutoring if needed. Upperclassmen have study hours if their grades fall.

 

There are also lots of leadership and service opportunities. Great resume builders.

 

There were parties, but at our school the houses were dry. A house lost their charter for having parties in the house. We had to have advisors and police at off campus social events with alcohol and drivers licenses were checked. You got a waistband if you were 21. Each weekend there were designated drivers assigned to stay at the hpuse and go pick people up if needed. Yes, there were big partiers, but there were few who droped out of school for grades.

 

I would not discourage my kids from joining as long as they were firm in theor morals and goals.