Cindy in FL. Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 Dh's family has a reunion each year hosted by one of the siblings on a rotating basis. This year it is scheduled to be in Gatlinburg, TN from Dec. 28-Jan1. Here is my situation (sorry if it gets long). I have pretty severe anxiety and panic attacks. I also have OCD (diagnosed). I do have Lorazepam that I can take when I am having a problem, but I have medication anxiety. I will be starting Cognitve Behavioral Therapy soon. The trip will take us 12 hours. That alone is a big problem for me. I also have issues regarding food and the only place that I eat other than home is Chik-fil-a. I can't tolerate cold. Stress makes me very sore from head to foot. I honestly feel like a freak of nature! :) I am torn about this trip. It is overwhelming to me to think about going (enduring) on the reunion. I want to go mainly for my children, but just don't see how I can pull it off. Dh says not to go if I can't or don't want to. He's very understanding. What do I do? Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 I wouldn't go on a trip that caused me that much turmoil. It just wouldn't be worth the anticipatory anxiety, let alone the anxiety of being there would prevent me from enjoying it. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 (edited) .. Dh says not to go if I can't or don't want to. He's very understanding. What do I do? Cindy Given the constraints you described and your husband's understanding compassionate attitude, stay home and enjoy your solitude while he and the kids attend the reunion. Edited December 27, 2011 by annandatje Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebug42 Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 Given the constraints you described and your husband's understanding compassionate, stay home and enjoy your solitude while he and the kids attend the reunion. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 Absolutely :grouphug:!!! From your sig, it looks like your youngest is 11, right? Send them all off with DH to the reunion and don't feel bad about it at all. Not being up to traveling is perfectly understandable. Enjoy some quiet home-time while they are off to the reunion. It will be fine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in FL. Posted December 27, 2011 Author Share Posted December 27, 2011 Thanks for answering. I don't feel so bad about leaning toward not going. I'm sure that will get me the bad list of some of dh's siblings. Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXBeth Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 Those who matter (DH and kids) don't mind, and those who will mind don't matter. Anyone who would think less of you for not going is not someone you would want to spend time with anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susann Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 Given the constraints you described and your husband's understanding compassionate attitude, stay home and enjoy your solitude while he and the kids attend the reunion. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 Given the constraints you described and your husband's understanding compassionate attitude, stay home and enjoy your solitude while he and the kids attend the reunion. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 Do they know of your diagnoses? Just curious. I think I'd try to be brave enough to be transparent. I think, I'm not sure! At least they'd know you are not dissing them in any way. I'd just let everyone else go. I wish you success with your therapy. It can do wonders. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 I wouldn't go. I would send dh with the kids and enjoy some time to myself :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 Send them, DH can say that you don't feel well enough to travel, which is perfectly true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 I wouldn't go in your situation. And if I could be happy home alone I'll do that, or at least try to. I would also arrange things to do while home alone, or people to do them with who understand my various problems. If your in laws would like this excuse, they can be told that "You are preparing and prepping for homeschooling." It's hard to have to miss things due to mental things, since not everyone accepts or understands them. Best of luck with whatever you pick. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retired Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 I wouldn't go if its causing that much anxiety. My brother went a decade with similar issues but just didn't share them with the family. We just thought he walk away from us. He seriously couldn't stay away from his home for more than a few hours it totally stressed him out. He never came to see any of us and when I went to visit him he would' let me in his home. Which was the red waving flag he had some issues. Anyway I would share with my siblings but I don't know if you are really close enough to your in-laws you may not be comfortable sharing Sorry your having a tough time and hope your therapy is helpful:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in FL. Posted December 27, 2011 Author Share Posted December 27, 2011 I appreciate all the thoughtful replies. You're all very kind. One SIL is aware, somewhat, of my troubles and is understanding. We don't have close relationships with the others so they don't know so they don't know so much. If there weren't so many issues at play, I'd give it a try. But, since I couldn't gracefully and quickly vacate and get back home I just don't know. It's hard because logically I know that everything would probably be fine, but I just can't do it. Hopeful for successful therapy! Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myeightkiddies Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 Since your dh is fine with it, I really think that you should not go. Not only is it easier for you, but dh won't have to worry as much. Also, don't worry about dh's siblings. Do what you need to do for you. I do hope the therapy goes well for you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 I'm sure that will get me the bad list of some of dh's siblings. Cindy That probably depends how he markets it. Tell him to say he's given you some well deserved "me time." ;) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissad2 Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 I wouldn't go if it was me. FWIW there is no chick-fil-a in Gatlinburg and it is guaranteed to be very cold this time of year! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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