If you don't celebrate Christmas,

[Momling]

is it annoying to get Christmas cards from folks who do celebrate Christmas or is it a nice thing? I'm not talking about overtly religious cards, which would be weird to receive for almost anyone.... just the typical photo card with Christmas themes. Do you prefer the phrase "Season's Greetings" or does it not really matter if it says "Merry Christmas"?

[Daisy]

Really?

 

I can't imagine anyone takes offense at a hand-written snail-mail card regardless of the sentiment.

 

I probably shouldn't have answered since I celebrate Christmas. Sorry, my comment fell right out of my fingers before I could think.

Edited November 30, 2011 by Daisy

[vonfirmath]

Really?

 

I can't imagine anyone takes offense at a hand-written snail-mail card regardless of the sentiment.

 

They do.

I was scared off of sending Christmas cards for years after a "friend" (who I didn't know was Jewish) went off on me after receiving a merry Christmas card in the mail.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I don't like them. I get a handful of cards every year. They're from people who know we do not celebrate anything. Save a stamp and leave me alone!

[mommaduck]

We stopped celebrating for about ten years and I still liked receiving the cards. This is because I knew the people they were from and the heart of those that sent them.

 

We celebrate now, but I still wouldn't care if I got a "Happy Hanakah" card from a Jewish friend, a winter solstice greeting from my metaphysical cousin, etc. I just don't let it bother me.

[NicAnn]

I don't get offended. There are many people who know we don't celebrate Christmas or anything else, and still extend a greeting for each holiday. I just try and look at it from there perspective....it can be confusing to understand why something you love so much is disliked/not appreciated by someone else. I was with my husband for a few years before I really "got" why he didn't celebrate things and why that was important.

[Lady Florida.]

We celebrate Christmas though in a secular manner. When I used to send out Christmas cards, I only sent them to friends and family. I wouldn't send cards to those friends or family members who I knew didn't celebrate.

 

While I don't think I'd be insulted getting a card if we didn't celebrate, I can't picture myself sending a card to someone I know doesn't celebrate. I guess some people send out cards to people they don't *really* know. That's the only way I can think such a mistake would occur.

[Hen]

no, I don't get offended. I really love the ones with family photos, I like to see how the families are doing, how big the kids are getting...

[NicAnn]

While I don't think I'd be insulted getting a card if we didn't celebrate, I can't picture myself sending a card to someone I know doesn't celebrate. I guess some people send out cards to people they don't *really* know. That's the only way I can think such a mistake would occur.

 

i actually get several cards and emails around the holidays from people who know we don't celebrate, but view it as there job to convert me to "real" Christianity. They don't view my religion as Biblical or as Christianity, and this is their way of sticking it to me...in their mind. Needless to say, these aren't people i'm close with.

[JennyD]

We're Jewish and don't celebrate Christmas. I love holiday photo cards and am always delighted to receive them. I couldn't care less what's written on the cards. I mean, people mass-order these things, right? It would be a little strange if someone sent me, say, a non-photo card for some random Christian holiday, but when it comes to Christmas I assume that you don't buy a separate card for each person on your list but just get a whole bunch made up. (Am I wrong about this?) It would seem to excessive to get them all made with a generic holiday greeting unless your list was a very diverse bunch.

 

So, in sum, keep those pictures of the cute babies and puppies coming! Also the news! I love the news!

[Tigger]

We're Jewish and don't celebrate Christmas. I love holiday photo cards and am always delighted to receive them. I couldn't care less what's written on the cards. I mean, people mass-order these things, right? It would be a little strange if someone sent me, say, a non-photo card for some random Christian holiday, but when it comes to Christmas I assume that you don't buy a separate card for each person on your list but just get a whole bunch made up. (Am I wrong about this?) It would seem to excessive to get them all made with a generic holiday greeting unless your list was a very diverse bunch.

 

So, in sum, keep those pictures of the cute babies and puppies coming! Also the news! I love the news!

 

Maybe I'm weird?

 

I buy Hanukkah cards for our Jewish friends so our greetings for the season are sent and acknowledge their holiday celebration; same with our Muslim friends, I send an Eid ul Fitr card when Ramadan falls within a month of Christmas, otherwise I'll send season's greetings to touch base and let them know they're in our thoughts. Our friends who are Christian receive a Merry Christmas card and those who aren't, but aren't Jewish or Muslim, receive Season's Greetings, especially if I know they're offended by Merry Christmas (I can respect that, so don't see any reason to specifically send a card they'll not like receiving). Rather than order generic photo cards, I order photos and tuck them into the cards - makes it easier to buy different cards for the different folks on our list that I'd like to be in touch with over the holidays!

Edited November 30, 2011 by Tigger

[JennyD]

Maybe I'm weird?

 

I buy Hanukkah cards for our Jewish friends so our greetings for the season are sent and acknowledge their holiday celebration; same with our Muslim friends, I send an Eid ul Fitr card when Ramadan falls within a month of Christmas, otherwise I'll send season's greetings to touch base and let them know they're in our thoughts. Our friends who are Christian receive a Merry Christmas card and those who aren't receive Season's Greetings, especially if I know they're offended by Merry Christmas (I can respect that, so don't see any reason to specifically send a card they'll not like receiving). Rather than order generic photo cards, I order photos and tuck them into the cards - makes it easier to buy different cards for the different folks on our list that I'd like to be in touch with over the holidays!

 

 

That sounds lovely, and with a philosophy like that I'm sure you have lots of friends. :001_smile:

 

That said, I would never expect someone to go buy me a separate card. Sometimes folks write a little note inside to personalize things, which is also charming, but really, I'm like the kids. I just like getting mail.

Edited November 30, 2011 by JennyD

[battlemaiden]

is it annoying to get Christmas cards from folks who do celebrate Christmas or is it a nice thing? I'm not talking about overtly religious cards, which would be weird to receive for almost anyone.... just the typical photo card with Christmas themes. Do you prefer the phrase "Season's Greetings" or does it not really matter if it says "Merry Christmas"?

 

I find this strange.

 

People use Christmas cards as a way to wish people joy from their family to yours. It is the usual time of year when people make contact with people they consider significant in their lives in one way or another.

 

I can't imagine expecting people to adapt their cards or greetings or occasion for sending them on my behalf.

 

Then again it is so incredibly difficult to pull together a family card every year and send them out to distant family and past friends, that perhaps I'm a little touchy at the responses. :D

[kewb]

No, I am not offended by someone wishing me good cheer and health. Whether it says Merry Christmas or Season's Greetings or Happy Holidays, or Merry Chriskwanzaka, or Festivus for the Restovus does not matter. It is the intent behind the card that matters to me.

[Scarlett]

I don't get annoyed.

 

I do consider the motive of the card/gift sender. I have had a few people in my life who seem to get a kick out of 'making' me celebrate Christmas. And also I would have to wonder how anyone who knows me well would think I would welcome a Christmas card. That puzzles me....makes me think I must not mean much to them...but it doesn't annoy me.

 

I know people have all sorts of reasons they don't celebrate the holiday. For me, it isn't some random part of my religion...I actually believe the celebration of Christmas to be displeasing to God.

[VaKim]

It is only annoying when it comes from those who know we do not celebrate, and why, but yet insist on "forcing" their celebration on us. Any we get go straight in the trash anyway. If there is a photo, we do cut it out and save it.

[Heather in Neverland]

Wow. If you get annoyed over that, you wouldn't last long in a place like this. At any given time there is some kind of Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, or Christian holiday going on. We get cards, gifts, etc. from people who celebrate all of them.

 

We are also invited to their holiday parties. I've been to Deepavali celebrations and Hari Raya and oodles of Chinese New Year parties. I consider it an honor to be invited or receive a card or a gift from these people even though we are of different faiths.

 

I am trying to picture myself opening a card from one of my Hindu students that says "Happy Deepavali" and thinking, "Ugh, how annoying!! They KNOW I am Christian!" and then tossing it in the trash.

 

Nope. Can't picture it.

 

I should probably go into work tomorrow and tell my boss that we wasted our time signing by hand (no fancy signature stamp) over 1000 Christmas cards that go out to everyone from parents to vendors we work with to local businesses (most of whom are not Christian). Don't want to annoy them.

[VaKim]

Ah. So only the people who don't get annoyed by anything are right. So sorry. I forgot.

[VaKim]

I know people have all sorts of reasons they don't celebrate the holiday. For me, it isn't some random part of my religion...I actually believe the celebration of Christmas to be displeasing to God.

:iagree:

I don't have a clue what your beliefs are, but can wholeheartedly agree with this.

[Kathleen in VA]

no, I don't get offended. I really love the ones with family photos, I like to see how the families are doing, how big the kids are getting...

 

:iagree:I love getting any mail at all and especially love to hear each year from friends who usually only write at this time. I like reading the long letters and hearing what everyone's been doing all year and I love the family photos, too. (even the letters that sound more like advertisements for how awesome and gifted their children are - I mean parents should be allowed to brag on their kids sometime.:))

 

I don't mind any type of card either. I've got friends and family all over the Christmas-celebrating spectrum so I get a real variety. I think of their choices of expressions of who they are and not who they think I am. If I don't agree with their view on the holiday it doesn't bother me that they send a card expressing it.

 

We do not celebrate in our own home, but if others do and want to send a kind expression of that I see no reason to be annoyed by it. I've never felt as though anyone was trying to push their viewpoint on me. Honestly, it wouldn't bother me to get mail all year from someone trying to convert me to their viewpoint - if I don't want it, I would just pitch it into the trash can and go on with my life. I don't see the need to be touchy and offended about that.

 

It's kind of like when the check out clerk says "Merry Christmas" to me. I know he/she is trying to be pleasant and I take it that way. I don't have to say it back but I can smile, say thank you, and appreciate the effort to be kind.

 

I think we live in an era when people are way too easily offended about every little thing under the sun. If anything bothers me, that does.

[Heather in Neverland]

 

It's kind of like when the check out clerk says "Merry Christmas" to me. I know he/she is trying to be pleasant and I take it that way. I don't have to say it back but I can smile, say thank you, and appreciate the effort to be kind.

 

I think we live in an era when people are way too easily offended about every little thing under the sun. If anything bothers me, that does.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[VaKim]

Let me clarify my response. I do NOT get offended or annoyed by store clerks, strangers, etc. saying Merry Christmas or whatever else they may celebrate. I do not get annoyed with acquaintances sending us cards. As someone else said above, I simply smile and go on. However, to be specific, my in-laws have known for several years that we do not celebrate and exactly why. We have asked them over and over not to get gifts, send cards, etc. But they absolutely insist in going through this every single year. In their opinion, our "poor girls" are being deprived of one of the "most wonderful things in life," and we are not raising them to be "real, normal" Christians. So therefore, they simply must do something to help "fix" us. Anyone out there who has controlling parents, in-laws, etc. will understand.

 

In other words, they are not doing it to be "nice." They are doing it to "convert" us to their way of thinking.

[NanceXToo]

My family is Jewish. Someone from my Homeschool group just sent us a card that had "walking in a winter wonderland" on the front with a wintry scene and "Wishing you the season's best" on the inside and I thought that was very nice of them.

 

I would have found it odd if they had sent me a Christmas specific card knowing that I don't celebrate christmas. But something like this was fine and thoughtful of them to include us while sending out their Christmas cards.

 

If somebody who didn't yet know us well enough to know we don't celebrate Xmas sent us one that did have a Christmas specific message, I would have to just appreciate it for what it was- a nice gesture.

[UmMusa]

I don't get offended to receive a card, but on the flip side, i never send Eid cards or greetings to people who aren't celebrating it. It just doesn't make sense to me to send a Christian friend a "Happy Eid" card. I suspect the Christmas cards would be more accepted because of the media's role in the holiday, and people just 'know' to expect holiday themed "everything".

[Jenny in Florida]

My family is Jewish. Someone from my Homeschool group just sent us a card that had "walking in a winter wonderland" on the front with a wintry scene and "Wishing you the season's best" on the inside and I thought that was very nice of them.

 

I was wondering specifically about this kind of thing.

 

Because we have friends with a wide variety of beliefs, we tend to send cards that have those kinds of non-denominational, just wishing you a good year kinds of messages. We lean towards cards that are not red and green and overtly Christmas-themed.

 

I've always wondered whether our Jewish and pagan and secular friends notice or care.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Being raised in a Christian household, I loved celebrating Christmas. We did do the Santa thing, but my mother made a point of focusing on the birth of Christ. So, even though I don't consider myself a religious person, I still love to celebrate Christmas, and send cards. Being married to a Jew, I usually try to send out more generic cards, more like a Happy New Year! kind of card, so that I can include more people in the mass mailing. I don't think anyone I know , including a few Muslim friends, would be actually offended though, if I sent them a non-religious Christmas card. I think our Jewish friends and relatives would think I was weird if I went out of my way to send a Chanukah card. Chanukah isn't the same as Christmas and Chanukah cards are not really traditionally Chanukah-y.

[Kathleen in VA]

Let me clarify my response. I do NOT get offended or annoyed by store clerks, strangers, etc. saying Merry Christmas or whatever else they may celebrate. I do not get annoyed with acquaintances sending us cards. As someone else said above, I simply smile and go on. However, to be specific, my in-laws have known for several years that we do not celebrate and exactly why. We have asked them over and over not to get gifts, send cards, etc. But they absolutely insist in going through this every single year. In their opinion, our "poor girls" are being deprived of one of the "most wonderful things in life," and we are not raising them to be "real, normal" Christians. So therefore, they simply must do something to help "fix" us. Anyone out there who has controlling parents, in-laws, etc. will understand.

 

In other words, they are not doing it to be "nice." They are doing it to "convert" us to their way of thinking.

 

I can't say I understand the controlling parents/in-laws thing totally. My mom loved Christmas and wanted our kids to experience it in all its "glory" when she was alive, but she died in 1995. My dad lives 5000 miles away and even though he is a die-hard, militant atheist he insists on sending gifts and cards at this time of year, too. He's next to giddy about Christmas with all the trimmings. But his influence is certainly mitigated by the distance between us.

 

I may not really get what it's like to have relatives forcing their beliefs on me, I'll grant that wholeheartedly. But, I do see it still as their viewpoint and I understand the strong emotions they had/have about the holiday. When you've been steeped in this holiday all your life it becomes a very emotional issue and I can understand completely why relatives are flabbergasted over the fact that we do not celebrate it. They truly cannot wrap their minds around it and the friends I have who celebrate it as a religious holiday find it unfathomable that, as conservative Christians, we do not think it honors God to celebrate it. I have similar difficulties understanding others whose views on other things don't match up with mine and have made similar errors in trying to "convert" others to see things my way (take homeschooling for instance:D).

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I get why a parent/in-law would feel so strongly about us not celebrating what, to them, seems like a sacrosanct part of of childhood - something every single child should be allowed to experience to its fullest. I don't agree, of course, but I do understand the strong emotion connected to it. Because of that, I made/make an effort to overlook their responses to our not celebrating. I just see it as their way of looking at things and try to teach my children to respond graciously to it. I don't feel threatened by it because we are very settled and confident about our reasons for not celebrating. Now If I had to face my dad and deal with him being in my house trying to convince me I'm a horrible parent for not allowing Christmas in my home, I may be singing a different tune. As it is, I just let him (and I let my mom and my grandmas when they were still alive) express their views, told them I understood how they felt, and then continued to not celebrate.

[Scarlett]

I can't say I understand the controlling parents/in-laws thing totally. My mom loved Christmas and wanted our kids to experience it in all its "glory" when she was alive, but she died in 1995. My dad lives 5000 miles away and even though he is a die-hard, militant atheist he insists on sending gifts and cards at this time of year, too. He's next to giddy about Christmas with all the trimmings. But his influence is certainly mitigated by the distance between us.

 

I may not really get what it's like to have relatives forcing their beliefs on me, I'll grant that wholeheartedly. But, I do see it still as their viewpoint and I understand the strong emotions they had/have about the holiday. When you've been steeped in this holiday all your life it becomes a very emotional issue and I can understand completely why relatives are flabbergasted over the fact that we do not celebrate it. They truly cannot wrap their minds around it and the friends I have who celebrate it as a religious holiday find it unfathomable that, as conservative Christians, we do not think it honors God to celebrate it. I have similar difficulties understanding others whose views on other things don't match up with mine and have made similar errors in trying to "convert" others to see things my way (take homeschooling for instance:D).

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I get why a parent/in-law would feel so strongly about us not celebrating what, to them, seems like a sacrosanct part of of childhood - something every single child should be allowed to experience to its fullest. I don't agree, of course, but I do understand the strong emotion connected to it. Because of that, I made/make an effort to overlook their responses to our not celebrating. I just see it as their way of looking at things and try to teach my children to respond graciously to it. I don't feel threatened by it because we are very settled and confident about our reasons for not celebrating. Now If I had to face my dad and deal with him being in my house trying to convince me I'm a horrible parent for not allowing Christmas in my home, I may be singing a different tune. As it is, I just let him (and I let my mom and my grandmas when they were still alive) express their views, told them I understood how they felt, and then continued to not celebrate.

 

You make a lot of good points. My XMIL was definitely the kind who was furious that I was a) her DIL and b) the mother of her only grandson c) not celebrating holidays. So everything she did was designed to try and FORCE me to celebrate. Like the time she came to see our new house (we were early 20s) and very generously bought us a dishwasher. I believe it was early December. Weeks later, after her son had installed it she told me that was her Christmas present to us. Or another time she came to visit us and bought an electric blanket for the guest bed (mostly because she wanted it while she was there but that is fine) and then before she left told me that was her Christmas present to us. I never made issues of that...just smiled and nodded and said thank you...but I did feel very annoyed.

 

She lives 6 hours from me (and my XH) and has never 'taken' to my son....so her only contact with him is the Christmas gifts she sends him. When he was little of course he didn't understand....and now that he is older I just explain to him that what she does is out of his control and that there is nothing wrong with him accepting the gifts graciously BUT if he wanted to let her know how he feels that would be ok too...BUT she is 82 and how it might be better to not make an issue out of it.

 

Wow. Long winded am I today.