Would you say something like this to someone?....

[Kelli in TN]

I'll do you one better.

 

I just came home from Wal-Mart. In line I encountered the rudest woman I think I have ever met. I was in line with my three boys and she says to me, "Are you their mother?" I thought that she was going to compliment their behavior because that happens a lot. Instead what she said to me was, "A young mother like you should wear longer shorts." :confused: The inseam of my shorts is 4"!! I was so completely shocked.

 

My 11 year old looked at me, saw my face and said, "Mom, it's OK. You look fine."

 

 

I am still reeling.:001_huh:

 

How old do you have to be to wear short shorts? I'll mark my calendar!!! :smilielol5:

 

Okay,seriously, that smarts. Have a "Bless her heart" moment. "Bless her heart, her mama didn't raise her right."

[PineFarmMom]

I'll do you one better.

 

I just came home from Wal-Mart. In line I encountered the rudest woman I think I have ever met. I was in line with my three boys and she says to me, "Are you their mother?" I thought that she was going to compliment their behavior because that happens a lot. Instead what she said to me was, "A young mother like you should wear longer shorts." :confused: The inseam of my shorts is 4"!! I was so completely shocked.

 

My 11 year old looked at me, saw my face and said, "Mom, it's OK. You look fine."

 

 

I am still reeling.:001_huh:

 

Yes, that was rude...I'm with you there. Taking it upon herself to guide a total stranger on how they should dress, well, that's stepping out of line to be sure, particularly in front of their kids!

 

T

[Elaine]

 

Yep, she meant to be mean ~ to make it clear to you that she disapproved of your attire. I got that message loud and clear. I didn't mean to imply she was merely engaging in banter, rather that my own response would be mere banter. Very tacky on her part, no question.

 

 

 

I didn't say you have to shrug it off; I'm just sharing my perspective. I'm sure neither of us would have made a remark like that to someone, and it no doubt did come as a slap in the face. But I'm admittedly surprised it hurt you because really...who cares what this woman thinks? (((Laney)))

 

No need to apologize. I know that your post was not meant to hurt my feelings. :001_smile:

 

I wasn't hurt, I was ticked. I am comfortable in my skin and things like that don't normally bother me. It was just...everything. Being in Wal-Mart, her face, her tone, the look on my son's face, the look on the face of the person behind her, the immediate feeling of embarassment. It was just too much.

 

I felt like hitting her with my Pringles container and screaming, "My mother bought these shorts for me!! They are completely appropriate!!" You know, mature things.;)

 

 

I'm sorry. My husband is gone for six weeks. I didn't sleep well last night and someone else got the outdoor patio set that I wanted off of Craig's list.:001_smile: I've had better days.

[cin]

She's 5'5" and 90 lbs - yes, very thin. However, that does not give people the right to pull up her shirt, poke her belly and make rude comments! We've made it clear to her that she is built the way God intended, and that others are just jealous, but still.....I have to wonder what this is doing to her self esteem.

 

 

 

I would have a hard time with ANYONE except DH or the Dr. touching my 14 yr old daughter, and I MIGHT have to say something. Whether it be that she is NOT a piece of meat to be inspected, or something referring to the fact that you are, in fact, touching my daughter in a way that is NOT acceptable. Let the inference lie where it will. That is violating her personal space. BIG TIME.

 

 

For the record, *I* drink almost 2 gls of milk a week. My 2 girls might make it through a gallon.

[Kelli in TN]

I felt like hitting her with my Pringles container and screaming, "My mother bought these shorts for me!! They are completely appropriate!!" You know, mature things.;)

 

 

_smile:

 

 

I think that would have been a great way to handle it. Well, maybe not the hitting with the Pringles can part. That would make your chips turn into crumbs. And maybe not the screaming, that would embarrass your boys.

 

But being indignant and saying "I'm sorry? My mother bought these for me, they have a 4" inseam and are totally appropriate. My family thinks I look fine and I think I look fine."

 

My girlfriends and I call it "Gettin' all up in your flesh". You should just get all up in your flesh next time. It might help her shut her mouth next time.

[Elaine]

 

My girlfriends and I call it "Gettin' all up in your flesh". You should just get all up in your flesh next time. It might help her shut her mouth next time.

 

:lol:

 

Thanks, Kelli.:001_smile:

[Scarlett]

I don't store things up to say to people because I am not expecting people to say things like they do. I am shocked when people are mean just to be mean because that is not how I treat people.

 

I know you aren't. However, having something in your mind to say back to someone who is shocking and rude, will let you regain a measure of control over those situations. I would never in a million years say such a rude thing to ANYONE...but I don't like being left speechless. I guess I've learned that from the rude and shocking things my MIL says to me. I have things ready to say back to her.

 

Might not work for everyone. But it makes me feel b etter.

[Scarlett]

I felt like hitting her with my Pringles container and screaming, "My mother bought these shorts for me!! They are completely appropriate!!" You know, mature things.;)

:rofl: Perfect.

[...................]

lots of reasons. I look very young for my age, as you can see in my avatar, and in *addition* to that I *did* get married early (by today's weird standards anyway) at 21, and had a kid a year later.

 

it's stopped now but up to about a year and a half ago I had old women tell me every day, that I'm not allowed to be the mother of two at such a young age. One even said it was a "shame." I guess she doesn't realize she was probably the same age when she started.

 

But what really bothered me was this:' What if I had been a teenage mom? And done the right thing, and not aborted my first child, and struggled to be a good mom to them, and maybe I got married and had a second child with a good man (this is not my story, but seems to be what the lady assumed...) Wouldn't I feel awful if people told me that my situation was a "shame?!"

 

In fact, when the lady said this, I was being kind to my children, and buying tons of groceries, dressed well (suburban type clothes) ...I guess I always wondered how she would have reacted if I had been yelling at them at the moment? (which sadly has happened in the grocery store)

 

I think some people feel powerful giving their opinions. They are "gossips and busybodies, going about from house to house..."

 

Others are just trying to be friendly. They just want to talk because they are lonely and this makes conversation.

 

Others are jealous of your thin figure. Or- they just can't believe anyone can be so small.

 

There are lots of reasons. And actually I've heard people say plenty of mean things to overweight people, too.

[Doran]

My girlfriends and I call it "Gettin' all up in your flesh". You should just get all up in your flesh next time.

 

Somehow, I can't imagine delivering any line while being "all up in my flesh" without a picturing a certain pronouned body posture happening at the same time. You go!

 

[PineFarmMom]

I think some people feel powerful giving their opinions. They are "gossips and busybodies, going about from house to house..."

 

 

 

Yes. I was thinking of that scripture, but couldn't remember the words exactly. It is difficult for some people when they don't have enough to occupy their time. That's why God's word tells us to teach the younger women to be "busy at home." I should probably heed that and get off my hiney. :lol: But your response made me think of a family member's mil. She has nothing to do all day but sit and let her mind wander from situation to situation where she may or may not have been offended in her 75 years of life, and she's made all around her miserable. I could see her making a snide comment to someone in a grocery store. It has taught me that I have to let God gird up my mind and renew my mind and keep my mind and mouth from wandering. :)

[beansprouts]

It has taught me that I have to let God gird up my mind and renew my mind and keep my mind and mouth from wandering. :)

 

Maybe sometimes it is God's way of teaching us about grace ;)

[unsinkable]

What compels people to say something to a stranger at all? I know that when I take that chance, I'm usually attempting to compliment the other person that or tell them that their fly is open or they have something on their teeth. Anyways, I was thinking of my own intentions when I open my mouth in public and I realize it's usually for the positive.

 

Just this past week I was in the grocery store and a church member (and neighbor) commented on the two gallons of milk I was buying while I was at the cash register. "Wow, you must drink a lot of milk!" and of course I HAD to reply (I'll learn some day), "We usually have to get two more gallons during the week, we make sure the kids drink milk."

 

I'm standing there thinking, why in the world did she comment about our milk consumption, doesn't she know how good it is for kids to drink milk? What did her son drink growing up? And just as I'm in my thoughts, I hear her loudly and I mean LOUDLY say to another person 5 feet away....

 

"She's buying two gallons of milk, can't you believe it at these prices? She says they have to buy two more during the week, that's 4 gallons a week. That is $18 a week on milk ALONE! That means they spend $80 on milk in a month." and then she turns to me and says, "Do you know how much money you're spending on milk?"

 

She's not old and senile, she just one of those commenters- someone who thinks outloud and bless her heart I try to avoid her because it can be pretty embarrassing. So maybe that has something to do with, no verbal boundaries and people I know like that are usually very lonely.

 

I hope you laughed, I hope this helped...

 

Jessica,

 

Her comments not withstanding, it may be good for some kids to drink milk but not for mine. They tend to get sick from milk.

[Erica in PA]

I don't see any difference....and btw, I didn't call anyone a whale! I was making an analogy.... She didn't call me a 'baby doll' either.....it was the size that was being compared....

 

Right, I understood that. I guess my point was that, to me, the two don't seem analogous. *No one* wants to be fat. *Most people* would like to be thin. That's why, while as I said it's better not to make personal remarks about people's appearances in any case, I don't see as it as insulting in the same way. Unless a person is terribly underweight, so as to be considered very unattractive or unhealthy, the way overweight people are considered in our society. Then they'd be more comparable situations. But I didn't have that impression of you, Tammy.

 

What Kelli in TN said is more what I was thinking, as well. That though it may be rude, it's not meant to be insulting.

 

Erica

[*anj*]

My 11 year old looked at me, saw my face and said, "Mom, it's OK. You look fine."

 

 

I am still reeling.:001_huh:

 

 

That was really rude. I don't know why some people think they're qualified to say whatever pops into their heads.:confused:

 

And I'm really proud of your son for comforting you that way.

It reminds me of one time many years ago, back when I was single. I was shopping for a dinner party and I was doing something like scallops wrapped in bacon or something, so naturally I bought a pack of bacon.

A woman walked up to me, she was maybe in her 60's or something and she said "You should not be eating that. Look at yourself, you're much younger than I am, and I'm not as heavy as you are."

 

Oh. Yeah.

 

And remember that I said I was much younger. I weighed significantly less than I do now.

[gardenschooler]

I'll do you one better.

 

"A young mother like you should wear longer shorts."

 

That makes me want to go hem my shorts.

[nakitty]

Jessica,

 

Her comments not withstanding, it may be good for some kids to drink milk but not for mine. They tend to get sick from milk.

 

Actually....I would argue that it isn't good for anyones children to drink THAT much milk....*ducking* LOL

[2cents]

I think any comments about someone's size, be they large or small, is inappropriate.

 

I agree. I recently lost about 25 lbs and now people I barely know are telling me how much better I look with the weight off but at the same time I can't help but feel it implies that I must have looked huge or awful. I know the comments should make me feel good about the loss but on the flip side I keep wondering what their opinion was before I lost it. Maybe I'm just having a pms day but this happened last night and the gal gushed on and on (loudly too) and it made me very uncomfortable.

[Elaine]

That makes me want to go hem my shorts.

 

I wuv you, Gardenschooler!:D

[OnTheBrink]

I agree. I recently lost about 25 lbs and now people I barely know are telling me how much better I look with the weight off but at the same time I can't help but feel it implies that I must have looked huge or awful. I know the comments should make me feel good about the loss but on the flip side I keep wondering what their opinion was before I lost it. Maybe I'm just having a pms day but this happened last night and the gal gushed on and on (loudly too) and it made me very uncomfortable.

 

*nodding head*

 

Just after EX left, I lost some weight. People would gush about it and it A) embarrassed me and B) made me feel as if my value as a person was less because I weighed more.

[Kelli in TN]

*nodding head*

 

Just after EX left, I lost some weight. People would gush about it and it A) embarrassed me and B) made me feel as if my value as a person was less because I weighed more.

 

I love my stepdad, I really do. But he is so redneck.

 

Once he told a woman "You don't look so bad since you lost all that weight."

 

My mom wanted a big hole to swallow her up right then and there.

[Rich with Kids]

I love my stepdad, I really do. But he is so redneck.

 

Once he told a woman "You don't look so bad since you lost all that weight."

 

My mom wanted a big hole to swallow her up right then and there.

 

Yes, I had a friend of the same...er..."race" and told me once, "D*mn! You've lost a ton of weight!" A ton? :confused: