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Math - Extremely Discouraged


3peasinapod
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I don't know where to start. DD8 started with Abeka math and was learning and retaining. I hated it, seriously hated the way I had to wade through the Teacher's Manual. Over the summer, we tried a friends Teaching Textbooks 3, which DD couldn't learn from, as she thought he talked too fast and she never understood what he wanted her to do. Well, we started Math Mammoth 2B. She has been doing ok, but she hates it and I can tell she hasn't a clue as to what she is doing and why she has to regroup, etc., etc., etc. She doesn't get any of the word problems and cries to herself all the time without letting me see.

 

I am at my rope's end, and I could either cry or send her to school. I have never felt like this before, but I am seriously done. I don't know how to tell a different way to do mental math. I have read so many math threads, and I know some people just say stick it through, but she doesn't get it. I cannot keep changing, as she is already "behind." I don't know what to do. I am seriously desperate. She is crying in her room now, as she says she is trying her hardest with math, but I have to help her through every single problem for 2-3 months now.

 

I wonder if she would do better with something else, but I hate to change again. What can I do? I looked at CLE and that looks like Abeka sort of without all the hullabaloo teacher's guide.

 

Can someone please help us?

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I'd try CLE. The TM is certainly easy to use, and you really don't even need it that much. The teaching is in the text.

 

My friend's DD started CLE 2 halfway through 3rd grade when pulled from public school. She was math phobic. A year later, she's about to jump back into CLE 4 (on grade level!) easily because she's gotten her confidence back and found she is actually pretty good at math. She's liking it again! Wonderful to see the difference.

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If Abeka was working and CLE looks like it could work without causing you the frustration, why not try it? You can order a single light unit to try and, at most, you're out a few weeks. It's not worth continuing with a curriculum that she's simply not understanding. She'll continue to fall farther and farther behind.

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I'd try CLE. The TM is certainly easy to use, and you really don't even need it that much. The teaching is in the text.

 

My friend's DD started CLE 2 halfway through 3rd grade when pulled from public school. She was math phobic. A year later, she's about to jump back into CLE 4 (on grade level!) easily because she's gotten her confidence back and found she is actually pretty good at math. She's liking it again! Wonderful to see the difference.

 

:crying: She has no confidence. I just talked to her, and I asked her if she understood most of the time what she was doing in MM or if she didn't understand most of the time. She told me she did, and I told her to tell me what she really felt, not what she thought I wanted to hear. She got all teary and told me she didn't get it.

 

I'll have to back up to halfway into the 2nd grade in CLE as far as I can tell. Thank you for the encouragement. It lifted me.

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:crying: She has no confidence. I just talked to her, and I asked her if she understood most of the time what she was doing in MM or if she didn't understand most of the time. She told me she did, and I told her to tell me what she really felt, not what she thought I wanted to hear. She got all teary and told me she didn't get it.

 

I'll have to back up to halfway into the 2nd grade in CLE as far as I can tell. Thank you for the encouragement. It lifted me.

 

I think my friend's DD had to back all the way up to the beginning of CLE, and she too couldn't handle MM (they tried MM3 first). It was just too much for her at that point.

 

This year when they signed up for co-op classes, this girl who used to freak out if you asked her 2+2 (seriously), said she wanted to do the math games class! And even better, last week, she beat 4th, 5th, and 6th graders in some of the games! It has just been so amazing to see this turn around. I think this girl IS good at math. She just lacked confidence from poor public school teaching. For whatever reason, CLE gave her that confidence back, and she's starting to pick up new concepts easier and even make connections on her own.

 

They did accelerate through it, and her mom crossed out review problems that she knew the DD didn't need. Just play it by ear. Some things will need more practice (so the review is good), and some things she'll know by heart and not need to review as much. :)

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I have been where you are but with different curricula. My vote is CLE, which we just switched to (from BJU), or maybe BJU might work for her. Maybe even BJU with DVDs (which would take the pressure off you; but I'll warn you if you look at BJU w/ out the DVDs that the BJU TM overwhelms some people, although I liked it because it was scripted). BJU is also good, but mastery style. It spends a chapter on a topic, like Math Mammoth, but isn't as "hard" as Math Mammoth (although it is more conceptual than CLE or from what I've seen in Abeka; it uses a lot of manipulatives). MM didn't work for us -- my dd is not mathy, and I dislike the look and format of it intensely. I see now that my dd, while doing OK with BJU (which I personally like), needs the review in a spiral program like CLE. We had a lot of tears with math before (both of us), and not because I dislike math or find it difficult (I have a math intense degree). After 3 weeks of CLE, I think I have found a winner for my dd. We have had no crying so far, and I see her retaining more. So you might give it a try for 1 lightunit (don't start with any of the -01 units).

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I don't advocate switching math programs, but what you are doing now isn't working. If you need a math program to help you know how to teach and the one you are using isn't working, then you need to switch.

 

While I realize you are feeling behind, I'd also like to give you some encouragement. Being behind in third grade is hardly the end of the world. Find something that DOES work, then stick with it. She will probably catch up long before she hits high school level math. This is not the end of the world.

 

Oh and if you put her back in school behind in math, she will really suffer and probably NEVER get it. While you may be frustrated, this isn't something that you should give up on. She needs you to find a way to teach her and to be patient while she learns.

 

:grouphug:

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Thank you all for your responses!

 

 

I don't advocate switching math programs, but what you are doing now isn't working. If you need a math program to help you know how to teach and the one you are using isn't working, then you need to switch.

 

While I realize you are feeling behind, I'd also like to give you some encouragement. Being behind in third grade is hardly the end of the world. Find something that DOES work, then stick with it. She will probably catch up long before she hits high school level math. This is not the end of the world.

 

Oh and if you put her back in school behind in math, she will really suffer and probably NEVER get it. While you may be frustrated, this isn't something that you should give up on. She needs you to find a way to teach her and to be patient while she learns.

 

:grouphug:

 

Thank you for these reminders. I didn't even think about her becoming bogged down in PS. I just thought "They could do better than this, with us both being frustrated." I do know people who were pushed through and they never understood math and still don't.

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I think my friend's DD had to back all the way up to the beginning of CLE, and she too couldn't handle MM (they tried MM3 first). It was just too much for her at that point.

 

This year when they signed up for co-op classes, this girl who used to freak out if you asked her 2+2 (seriously), said she wanted to do the math games class! And even better, last week, she beat 4th, 5th, and 6th graders in some of the games! It has just been so amazing to see this turn around. I think this girl IS good at math. She just lacked confidence from poor public school teaching. For whatever reason, CLE gave her that confidence back, and she's starting to pick up new concepts easier and even make connections on her own.

 

They did accelerate through it, and her mom crossed out review problems that she knew the DD didn't need. Just play it by ear. Some things will need more practice (so the review is good), and some things she'll know by heart and not need to review as much. :)

 

This is my daughter she is talking about. She did lack confidence. Poor teaching at a public school made her think she was "stupid" and unable to do even the simpliest math problem. I did try MM and it brought tears. Lots of them. I back her up to CLE 2 and worked through that last year, and we are speeding through CLE 3 this year. (she is in 4th grade) Last year, just mentioning the word MATH brought tears. Now she is learning, loves math, and is confident. Sure, it has taken a while. And yes, I have had my fair share of tears also. But, the confident kid that I once had is slowly coming back. In fact, just last week, she wrote a letter to her dad on the whiteboard. It said, "Dear Dad, I love homeschool. I love learning math, english, science, and about the Roman Empire." That is good enough for me. :D

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I would either go back to Math Mammoth 1 or try CLE. MM1 gives a good foundation. You can accelerate it. I did levels 1-4 with my 11yo in the past 10 months. She needed to get a better foundation. She is now doing CLE 500 at an accelerated pace because she hit a wall with MM. CLE makes smaller leaps than MM and breaks things into bite-sized pieces. She is doing 3 CLE lessons per day (skipping review sections) and is on track to start level 600 (she is 6th grade) after Christmas.

 

My 9yo switched to CLE after hitting a wall in MUS. She has blossomed beautifully with CLE. I caught her up to speed and started her in CLE 301 at the beginning of third grade. She is working through level 400 now in 4th grade.

 

My 6yo (almost 7) is in MM2A after doing 1A and 1B last year. I think she's able to do well in MM2 because she did all of MM1 and is a more mathy kid. MM seems to be a program that works best if you use it from the beginning.

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Have you considered dropping a formal curriculum for a while, and trying a different approach? Watching videos like Mathtacular or Donald in Mathmagic Land; playing games (you can find tons of easy-to-implement and free ideas in Peggy Kaye's Games for Math or Lynette Long's various books, like Dealing With Addition, Marvelous Multiplication, Fabulous Fractions and so on). Reading through lots of 'math readers', like the MathStart series (Stuart J Murphy), Elinor Pinczes titles, Hello Math Readers, and more (you can find a suberb list by topic here) may also help. Maybe make some math art, like fact flowers? It will give you both a break; it will perhaps make math 'fun' again for both of you; and it may give you more insight into where exactly your child's confusions about math lie. I am not saying ditch curricula forever--though that works for some families, particularly in the elementary years--but take a break, recharge the batteries, and try something entirely different.

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http://www.reasoningmind.org/?mv=5

http://www.cybershala.com/programme-fees.php

http://www.elevatedmath.com/

 

How about a facilitative role where you scour the web for other math instructors or instruction? The time bought would be a short respite while a more thoughtful household solution is made.

 

Taking a breather and looking for missing steps in my presentation is always my first suspect.

 

 

 

 

fYI, The above links are examples of which I have no working experience.

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I'm doing a three month free trial of Dreambox with my math hater. http://www.dreambox.com/savvymom It's worth a try given it's free. So far my son is enjoying it and learning. If it continues I'm going to subscribe. Other than that I'm sitting with him and doing about three problems of his current nemesis--subtraction with rergrouping--each day. We use manipulatives (abacus, base 10 blocks) and the problem on a white board. I'd back up to whatever level she needs and do a little with her each day with games if I could and she likes it. Outside of that math would be things she can do well to build confidence and/or engaging things like living math books, games, videos, or whatever it is that she would find most pleasant. So--building confidence and enjoyment and pecking to death by ducks little by little where her weak point starts.

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I don't know if I can really give suggestion but just want to say hanging there :grouphug:

 

Did u try to let her make mistake and ask her why she did the way she did. I do that a lot with my DS. I let him make mistake and asking to tell me what is his thinking process. and I will show him how and why that won't work and ask him try another way. That way you can pin point to what is not clear to her.

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I don't have any math curriculum advice, because I am not currently using one except what I put together and am still debating what to jump into for 3rd grade, but I wanted to agree with some of the other women and say that you are the best person to walk your daughter through this math struggle. She will not be able to understand math any better in school and things will move faster than her pace. In this situation you are able to offer her the "tutor" approach and it will ultimately be what is best. Hang in there!

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We switched from MM to CLE. We really like it so far. It's worth a look, even if you have to back up. Plus, I like that it builds in fact review daily and it's not too expensive. My younger is in Saxon 1 for K and we may go to CLE when she finishes for 1st grade. Math is getting done without tears (from him) and yelling (from me) and the retention is SO MUCH better for him. It's been a blessing to us!

 

I still love MM, it just didn't work for him right now.

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So many good things about CLE. We are in a similar situation. We were using RightStart B with my dd who is in 3rd grade. She was almost through with it, but I felt like she didn't get anything out of it. Technically that's a first grade curriculum (but it was tough!).

 

I just bought the first 5 light units of CLE 2 for her. I'm excited to get them and see how she does. She is one of those kids who gets it when it's relevant. Word problems aren't a huge challenge for her, but the "abstract" numbers problems are harder. Rightstart was way too oral for her. She needs to see everything.

 

I hope you can find something that works. Just letting you know we are in the same boat.

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Many years ago I could have written a similar post. My oldest dd had such trouble with math, and I just didn't know how to teach it in a way that spoke to her. We did curriculum hop, we did real life math, we drilled, played games, and still she struggled. When she was in 5 th grade and oldest ds was in 3rd (we were doing ABEKA) ds had a major math meltdown. We dropped Abeka and took a math break. I started MUS and finally it clicked with dd (ds's issue was different and more easily resolved). It worked, although it was a long road, and now dd is in 10th grade and is doing Algebra and will start Geometry later this year.

 

The best thing I did was to start her from the beginning. I told her she could work as fast as she wanted through the lessons, but she had to get at least a certain % on tests to move on to the next lesson. The nice thing about MUS is that there is no big number on the cover, so grade level became a lesser issue. Another one of my dd is now doing MM. We just swiched from MUS, I printed up pages from the 3 book and put it in a folder. She has no idea that she is not in the 4th grade book.

 

Stop thinking about being behind, don't let dd feel like she is not doing well. Let her know that you are trying to find the right fit for her.

 

How are you at teaching math? Do you need more help? I didn't have a clue about how to teach math when I first started homeschooling. If you need to switch, make sure that you find something that you understand how to teach, and take the time to work with your child so that she understands how to do the math. Abeka and MM have very different approaches to word problems, so I am not surprised that your dd is having trouble.

 

I hate to tell people to spend more money when they already have good curricula, but when I saw how MUS taught math, I knew dd could understand http://www.mathusee.com/about-us/demonstration-video/ .

 

I have changed my approach to math curricula now that I have walked this road, and each child has needed something different. It has sometimes taken time to find the right fit. Don't panic, you have lots of time.

 

Blessings,

Monique

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My s-in-law is taking the same approach outlined by M&M with her 4th & 5th graders she took out of public school last year. They did Alpha & Beta the first year and are planning to do at least Gamma & Delta this year possibly more. It totally eliminated the frustration for both her daughters and they are loving math now. There were several other threads the last few days about math that I commented on stating all the reasons why MUS is great whether the teacher is math inclined or not. I'm not sure how to quote another thread so I'll repeat my suggestion here. If you don't want to spend a lot of money some of the old mathusee vcr tapes can be found on ebay. I paid $10 bucks for one and used it to review addition facts right before starting Beta because I had already purchased multiple curriculums and didn't want to buy another one for review. You might look at the other threads for additional info.

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Have you considered starting with MM 1a or 1b instead? Or at the very least 2a. The WAY of doing math is different, so even though it may feel like you are moving backwards you would really be getting a better grounding in fundamentals to move forward more easily.

 

Also - I can't share enough how much I LOVE Rightstart math!! I used several math programs with my now-7yo 2nd grader when we first started, and he had gotten to the point where is flat out told everyone how he "hated" math and "didn't get it" and was "so bad" (even though I tried hard to NOT have him feel that way). Once I started on RSA, he quite quickly turned into someone telling everyone how he was "good at math"!! Seriously! I was ecstatic. We are currently almost to the end of RSB (and supplementing with MM 2a/b) and he can fairly easily do mental math of 2 digit numbers (like 56+29) without getting stressed at all. He does pretty well on the MM - he just doesn't particularly care for worksheets or repetition (although that is WHY I am supplementing! hah!!). Honestly, though, I would be absolutely lost and confused if I were trying to teach him how to do the math from the MM information - it just doesn't get it across nearly as clearly (imho) as RS.

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We started using MUS Beta as our spine this year and so far I have not heard one complaint. Last year I was using MM and having complaining constantly. I also do the RS lessons which are fairly easy for them but I like presenting things in different ways. I also feel that RS has made me a much better math teacher and given me confidence in teaching.

I think they like the way MUS is set up, they watch the lesson on Monday, then do a worksheet each day. Sometimes they use the blocks sometimes the abacus (it is what they learned first) but the point is they are really enjoying math and so am I.

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I don't know where to start. DD8 started with Abeka math and was learning and retaining. I hated it, seriously hated the way I had to wade through the Teacher's Manual. Over the summer, we tried a friends Teaching Textbooks 3, which DD couldn't learn from, as she thought he talked too fast and she never understood what he wanted her to do. Well, we started Math Mammoth 2B. She has been doing ok, but she hates it and I can tell she hasn't a clue as to what she is doing and why she has to regroup, etc., etc., etc. She doesn't get any of the word problems and cries to herself all the time without letting me see.

 

I am at my rope's end, and I could either cry or send her to school. I have never felt like this before, but I am seriously done. I don't know how to tell a different way to do mental math. I have read so many math threads, and I know some people just say stick it through, but she doesn't get it. I cannot keep changing, as she is already "behind." I don't know what to do. I am seriously desperate. She is crying in her room now, as she says she is trying her hardest with math, but I have to help her through every single problem for 2-3 months now.

 

I wonder if she would do better with something else, but I hate to change again. What can I do? I looked at CLE and that looks like Abeka sort of without all the hullabaloo teacher's guide.

 

Can someone please help us?

 

I'm the one who shared our awful experience with switching my dd in math. I also switched my 10 yo ds but he is in a good place right now.

 

Honestly, your dd is SO young that I would totally stop ALL formal math for several months. While you research what you want to use, check out books from the library about numbers and math. Play simple number games if she will. Play math games on the computer if she will. (My ds rejects math board/card/computer games.)

 

I'm going to go against the crowd here and not recommend CLE. I've used it with both of my dc and feel it moves too fast in the early grades and really doesn't do a good job of explaining math. Instead, I would recommend Rod & Staff first and Math Mammoth second.

 

R&S has great reviews over at Homeschool Reviews and Homeschool Math. It does look boring and overly tedious-that was definitely my first impression!;) However, I would rather have a curriculum that offered plenty of practice, and skip if needed-than have to scramble to find more practice. R&S is very developmentally appropriate and logical; mastery with plenty of review. It is also very visual and whole-to-parts. Gentle and cheap, with zero fluff. I use it classroom style(something I would have sworn off years ago!!:tongue_smilie:) with the suggested posters and heavy use of the white board. My once math phobic ds is now thriving at a good pace. No more tears!!:001_smile: I think for him-as is probably the case with your dd, too, maturity is key.

 

No matter where you start, go back to the beginning. Do not stress about it-your dd will pick up on your stress! Don't push her-slow and steady wins the race!!:grouphug:

 

FWIW-both of my dc were in PS. Ds just a year and that year he understood nothing in math and they kept pushing him through-and still would have I'm sure if he was there!

 

You CAN do this and so can your dd!!:grouphug:

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First, do YOU use mental math? It's hard to extend the lessons and deepen her understanding if you've not been taught math the same way as the program you are using. How are you teaching MM? Are you just explaining what is on the pages or are you able to extend the teaching by using a whiteboard, having her draw her own pictures, manipulatives or an abacus? I'm not familiar with Abeka but if she wasn't taught how to do mental math before using MM and you aren't able to extend the lesson for her then I can see where she might be getting frustrated. If she was having a hard time with the Abeka she might not have even mastered those concepts either.

 

MM is an excellent program so my first recommendation would be to go back to 1a and see if you couldn't double time it. Most of 1 would be easy for her which would really give her a confidence boost. If you were to do that though I would actually teach the lesson using manipulatives and an abacus and let her draw out concepts on a whiteboard. If she happens to be VSL she will need more concrete visual representations of number relationships, and even if she isn't VSL, manipulatives help so much in understanding place value. I would pay very close attention to whether she is mastering concepts before moving forward.

 

You will be able to catch up quickly. You could even skip the money, time and measurement sections to speed up getting done since you will cover those again in level 2. In fact, I teach those concepts in everyday life so we even skipped them in 2. Good luck with whatever decision you make!

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I would either go back to Math Mammoth 1 or try CLE. MM1 gives a good foundation. You can accelerate it. I did levels 1-4 with my 11yo in the past 10 months. She needed to get a better foundation. She is now doing CLE 500 at an accelerated pace because she hit a wall with MM. CLE makes smaller leaps than MM and breaks things into bite-sized pieces. She is doing 3 CLE lessons per day (skipping review sections) and is on track to start level 600 (she is 6th grade) after Christmas.

 

My 9yo switched to CLE after hitting a wall in MUS. She has blossomed beautifully with CLE. I caught her up to speed and started her in CLE 301 at the beginning of third grade. She is working through level 400 now in 4th grade.

 

My 6yo (almost 7) is in MM2A after doing 1A and 1B last year. I think she's able to do well in MM2 because she did all of MM1 and is a more mathy kid. MM seems to be a program that works best if you use it from the beginning.

 

You missed some of the foundation from not being in MM1. It sounds like while they may have been covered in Abeka, your student only repeated the pattern to solve the problem while not understanding the reason or any explanation of why it could be solved that particular way with that method.

 

If word problems are difficult, did you learn about missing numbers or missing parts? Did you learn about place value and how many can be held in a number position/house?

 

These are items that are in MM1.

 

I had to step back for word problems and the underlying concepts for multiplication. :) I bought the whole set realizing that there would be parts missing. This particular dd does not do well with an incremental approach. MM is mastery, with only a slight incremental approach over grades. (MM teaches mental math)

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Shew! This is a lot of info to process. I'll try to answer some questions on how we are doing things. I learned math traditionally, and while everything makes sense to me in Math Mammoth, I struggle to describe the process being taught in a different way presented in the book. She does well with 4 + _ = 7 or the like. I backed up a lot to catch the principles that she wasn't familiar with. If I backed up anymore, it would be a repeat of what she already knew. I know what's in 1, as my 7yo DD is doing it and flourishing and understands it completely.

 

I wonder if DD8 just finds it easier to add in columns and carry, etc. (which was how she learned in Abeka) than to regroup. (Lazy? She wants to take the easy road) I do like how well it has taught her place value, which I think she was lacking in after coming out of Abeka. She understands it wonderfully now. It's the adding and subtracting and thinking about the numbers inside and out that leaves her blank. She doesn't have a clue.

 

She did master the material that we worked on in Abeka and she seemed to flourish in the the continual practice (that's why I lean toward CLE as it's spiral). She did well in Abeka and understood everything, but I hated it. :001_smile:

 

I don't think it's an "I hate math" attitude, but her confidence is just shot.

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It sounds like you want to switch again, which can be costly anyway. I wouldn't switch from something that worked. You would just need to go through the Abeka TM with a highlighter, and do this ahead of class.

 

Switching can be dangerous. I would use caution. You are going to miss things.

 

However, because you are set to switch again, do the research and make an informed choice. You will not want to make this a habit. You will only serve to further frustrate her and make things worse.

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Shew! This is a lot of info to process. I'll try to answer some questions on how we are doing things. I learned math traditionally, and while everything makes sense to me in Math Mammoth, I struggle to describe the process being taught in a different way presented in the book. She does well with 4 + _ = 7 or the like. I backed up a lot to catch the principles that she wasn't familiar with. If I backed up anymore, it would be a repeat of what she already knew. I know what's in 1, as my 7yo DD is doing it and flourishing and understands it completely.

 

I wonder if DD8 just finds it easier to add in columns and carry, etc. (which was how she learned in Abeka) than to regroup. (Lazy? She wants to take the easy road) I do like how well it has taught her place value, which I think she was lacking in after coming out of Abeka. She understands it wonderfully now. It's the adding and subtracting and thinking about the numbers inside and out that leaves her blank. She doesn't have a clue.

 

She did master the material that we worked on in Abeka and she seemed to flourish in the the continual practice (that's why I lean toward CLE as it's spiral). She did well in Abeka and understood everything, but I hated it. :001_smile:

 

I don't think it's an "I hate math" attitude, but her confidence is just shot.

 

I've used Math Mammoth since 2008 with two kinds of kids: a mathy girl (7 years, 3rd grade) and a late-bloomer boy (9 years, 4th grade).

 

I would like to encourage you to stick with math mammoth but make some changes/accomodation:

 

1. Shelve the regrouping topic for a while, and teach other topic. Manipulating/reggrouping mentally takes certain brain maturity. I experience this a lot with my son. When we hit the 'math wall' and I know that I've tried to explain it as best as I could, then the best approach is to leave it and study other topic for the time being. Time works wonder when they're young ..:)

 

2. If you don't want to switch to other topic, do as many as 'white board' lesson until she can do it comfortably with you. Backtrack if you discover that the foundation is not solid, but do it on the whiteboard. It's much quicker to backtrack if you teach directly. Only, and only then, you let her loose with MM worksheet - and even that, it's only for reinforcement. We're doing 2 digit multiplication at the moment, and I teach my son incrementally (ala math mammoth) in the whiteboard for days with only doing may be 5 problems/day in MM.

 

MM is a good curriculum and it will teach you to teach math conceptually. I'm very happy to see the results in my not-so-mathy boy. His understanding is solid, and he's good at mental math. But don't ask your student to do every problem there - do a lot of white board work instead, and use the worksheet for reinforcement. With a mathy student - it's a different story...:).

 

HTH

Edited by mom2moon2
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