Be organized ! Keep track of those assignments and tests. I have a son who forgets a lot (ADD, lower than average processing skills and memory). If your district uses Skyward system, you (parent) can help by reminding the kids about their assignments and making sure that the kid submits them. Put those assignment in one folder so that s/he won't forget. The skyward system is Godsend because all assignemtns/test dates are there. I didn't know that I had to keep on checking the Skyward system until I after progress report 1 when I realized that my son had several missing assignments .

I did medical research (have a phD). I don't know whether I can go back to research though. Not sure if I want to. Problem is, I don't know what I want to do. - I may like tutoring, but I want to work when children are at school, not after they go back from school. - NOt sure I want teaching day in day out. The only experience I have with teaching classes is teaching weekend/religious school for this past 7 years. Also I dic a lot of curriculum development and am in leadership position --> I quite enjoy this role, much more than teaching. - NOt sure if I want to go back to research.

This year all chidren are at school. I'm ready to prepare myself for working outside of home. For those who used to be a SAHM and is now working, a. what job do you do ? b. can you support your family with that job if you have to ? c. how do you land your job ? Thanks Dian

NO, they don't have mortgage, but I asked her about what her mortgage agreement is like. She said that the numbers look normal, which I also think is weird because of the lien. So what I'm saying is that may be the lending approval and all those financial paper were finalized prior to their recent lien notice, and the agreement still holds till closing. I don't know whether this is a possible scenario. I'm only guessing. Another possibility is they don't go through bank, and it's more of agreement between them and the owner/landlord. Because as you say, if their credit is messed up, they will have a hard time getting a normal mortgage, right ? But what happens right now is they do have their financial paper lined up and the numbers look normal. The only thing stand in the way of closing is the lien.

I don't know exactly what happened. It could start with underreporting the income either out of ignorance or deliberately (as others have mentioned), or they never intend to pay the tax in full ... ever and haven't been doing it for a couple of years. Perhaps because their income is too low to live in that area (I"ve been wondering about that long time before this) and there's no way for them to live and pay the tax in full. But anyway, she said that they're going to the tax office today. I don't think anybody (friends) offer them anything. We all wish them good luck and hope for the best solution. She said she's preparing herself to come to term with not being able to close the house. I hope they can get a good payment arrangement with the tax office and just end this mess. Btw, Lanny, I mentioned up in the thread that they came into this trouble only recently because they missed a couple of payments because the change of collector agency. So perhaps, there's only debts back then, but not lien. But it turns into a lien because of the missed payments.

Actually what I am aiming at this point is to open her mind about the house closing. I don't think they can afford the house. And also to point her to direction for help: - legal aid society - pro bono lawyer - subsidized housing (if she needs to move out -- may be they're eligible for this, if their state has such scheme). - possible way to decrease the lien or lift the status (negotiation, or payment plans). I'm not giving her legal advice at all. Just point to the general direction and give her things to think about. And yes, basically I wish her good luck , and pray for her to get the best solution to her problems. And no, I don't think I'm going to send her money.

I misspoke. The family with the gaming scenario -- the parents didn't get the bill at the end , but realized that they've been paying the membership for months (to the tune of 4K). The husband should've checked their bank statement monthly (apparently that's the husband's job in the family), but he didn't do it carefully and missed the direct debit payments for months. They didn't know that their money was gone. I'm not sure where the receipts went. It could be to the son's email or the husband's. I don't know. But it caused quite a ruckus back then. My friend's dh (in the tax scenario) might not realize -- if the payment plan is online - that they've not been paying for months if he's not careful in checking the receipts/bank statement. If it's not online, then it's pure negligence. But I agree - the responsibility is to the payer.

Right, even with direct debit on bills, I usually get the monthly receipt. I have an impression that her dh doesn't take care of the financial problem properly. I have another friend who just found out that they got a 4K bill from an online game company. Apparently their son has been subscribing to a game membership site without him realizing. He said he just did the trial version but didn't care to cancel the plan (or forget) after the trial period finished. The husband was supposed to check on their monthly bank statement, but didn't do the job properly. So a couple of months after that, it was discovered that they;ve been paying a game company to the tune of 4K. So I can understand why the tax situation can happen.

She said her mortgage is fixed rate with the rate comparable to her neighbors. I didn't probe further -- whether she got a loan from a bank or from her landlord. If it's from her landlord, it makes sense. Especially if it's been difficult for the landlord to sell the house. If it's from the bank .. I don't know. May be her lien case just came up v. recently after the mortgage paper has been approved ? She said that they weren't in trouble before because they're on payment plan (not clear what payment plan ... current tax or back tax), but because of the change of the collector agency, they missed the payments and suddenly got a lien notice.

Right, I think a huge chunk of that 17K is fine and interest. One thing I don't understand -- does the government use a collection agency to collect payment from those in a payment plan ? I know with the federal tax, the self-employed can pay tax to IRS directly. SO basically I'm still confused whether the payment plan is for the current tax or the money they owe.

She didn't give enough details. May be that's to spare us from confusion. At the end, I think it's a duty of a friend to counsel and help solving the problem. I think most people from my ethnic group, when asked to lend money to a friend, will lend out of goodness. But then that's not necessarily the best solution. Like in this case -- what good will come out from lending this family 17K collectively ? If this act of lending makes the family more burdened financially (by enabling them to close), then lending would actually cause more harm. The thing is most people are afraid to probe further because of privacy issue. But the people involved sometimes don't understand the consequences because their emotions are already involved. Or may be the people don't know the complete picture. Btw, my husband has already said no. Not to them, but we talked about it last night.

The husband is a US Citizen, white, native english speaker. The wife speaks English well, but not native. I think by just searching internet they should know what to do to ask for help. But yes, as the story evolves, I'm becoming more and more confused.

I think they've been living in the same area for a long time. The hubby has his family there. The wife is a green card holder. But then their state is small, so it is possible that even if they only move around in that area, they could be at some point of their life live in different state.

I don't know. I don't live in a state with state tax but another friend of mine told me that state tax is lower than federal tax. IT could be a combination of fines, interests, and principal. The wife actually was just married to this man for 6 years. She was a housewife in her previous marriage. So I can think of these possibilities: - they got audited. - the debt was accumulated by the husband prior to marriage to the wife. So may be it's been like that for so many years -- in that the husband never pays state in full. I don't know what the husband's previous occupation is, but I know he only works part time now. Btw, I messaged her and told her to investigate the possibility to have some parts of the debt forgiven and to get the couple into the state payment plan. I showed her that IRS had a scheme for that and if they agree to a direct debit payment plan, then the delinquent status will be lifted. It's just going to be treated as debt, not lien/delinquency. So I told her that it's possible that the state has the similar scheme. She said that today the husband would go with another friend to ask the state to waive the interest. And ... this is interesting. She told me that they've already got into the payment plan but the collector agency changed and they missed the payment. I asked her what she meant with the payment plan -- is it the debt payment plan, or current tax payment plan (like installment plan). She hasn't answered. But really, if the problem is because of the technicalities of debt payment plan and is caused by the change of the collector agency, then what's the problem ? They just need to pick up the phone and that would release them from the delinquent status. I only know this detail this morning when I suggested to her more actions and probed her more. Before, she just said she needed 17K to pay for the back taxes, otherwise they won't close. IF I were her,it's much simpler to just rectify the problem with the collector, rather than asking friends for 17K, right ? Oh and she said that her mortgage term is normal - it's fixed and the rate is the same as her neighbor's. So far what I can deduce is this: --> they got in trouble because they missed payments which was caused by the change in debt collector. So I assume that before that happens, they had debts but didn't have the tax delinquency/lien status. So may be their mortgage was approved before they earned the tax lien status, and that's why the y managed to have a normal mortgage. But then -- why she asked for 17K instead of just picking up the phone ? PS: I just realized -- she said collector agency, not debt collector. So may be they have payment plan for paying current tax, not the debt.