those who have children that miss the school cut off date

[lynn]

when did you start school with them? My dd (2.5)is October baby she is ahead in her development skills (sorting colors, starting to cut, recognizing words in books we've read). She is in a MDO program that has a class for the kids that have later birthdays right through kindergarden which I plan to keep her in. I know it's a few years off and if she keeps the learning pace she is at she'll be ready for second grade when she's suppose to be in first. If we hs I'll start her in 2nd grade or consider a private school if it's challenging. How did this work out for your child with later birthdays in later years? Did they test in to higher grade levels if you enrolled them back in school? Were they required to attend their age level grade? Does it vary on case to case basis or state to state?

[Melinda in VT]

We specialize in fall birthdays here. (We're four for four.) It's especially hard with my current 2.5 yo, who desperately wants to be older than he is so he can hang with "my big kids." If he were 5 weeks older, he'd be able to go to the P3 class at the elementary school this fall.

 

But he's not.

 

Anyway, we don't homeschool anymore, so I haven't had to wrestle with it in quite the same way, but I did want to share that in our experience there are a lot of other bright, fall birthday kids in my kids' classes. In fact, in my oldest son's grade all but one of the boys has a birthday in Sept, Oct, or Nov. They all turned 12 at the start of their 6th grade year. (Actually, they had three new boys move in this year whose birthdays I don't know, so this might not hold true anymore. But it was true for 3-5 grades.)

 

So, yes, my kids could handle the academics of the higher grade with no problem, but many of their friends are in the same position so overall I'm glad we kept them in the grade the cut-off indicated.

 

Just our experience. YMMV.

[MyThreeSons]

I would go with the local school system's cutoff dates.

 

My two oldest have Fall birthdays and I started them in K when they were 4-going-on-5. Both really wanted to learn to read at that age, so I started schooling them. I should have just let them learn without making it official.

[JFSinIL]

And, if they are going to attend public school down the line, will they be the smallest/youngest kid around burgeoning teens? Or in the middle of the pack, size-wise. Something else to consider.

[Karenciavo]

I don't think about it at all. I provide educational opportunities that are appropriate for their ability (and maybe even a tad beyond.) I cross unknown bridges as we come to them.

[Ellie]

And, if they are going to attend public school down the line, will they be the smallest/youngest kid around burgeoning teens? Or in the middle of the pack, size-wise. Something else to consider.

 

But they won't be the only ones who fit in that category. Lots of children don't have early winter birthdays, KWIM? I wouldn't let that be a consideration.

[Ellie]

according to the cut-off date in your state.

 

For actual teaching, whatever and whenever the dc are ready.

[PiCO]

when did you start school with them? My dd (2.5)is October baby she is ahead in her development skills (sorting colors, starting to cut, recognizing words in books we've read). She is in a MDO program that has a class for the kids that have later birthdays right through kindergarden which I plan to keep her in. I know it's a few years off and if she keeps the learning pace she is at she'll be ready for second grade when she's suppose to be in first. If we hs I'll start her in 2nd grade or consider a private school if it's challenging. How did this work out for your child with later birthdays in later years? Did they test in to higher grade levels if you enrolled them back in school? Were they required to attend their age level grade? Does it vary on case to case basis or state to state?

 

I have two October babies. I decided to keep them in the "grade" they would be in school, but work at their ability level. After all, grade is just a label- really rather meaningless.

 

My kids are both back in school now. They are pulled out for more advanced math and reading, but do everything else at grade level. I think the writing load would have been a struggle for them if I had bumped them up a grade.

 

I think if a child is really gifted and way smarter than everyone else at school, they will be smarter than everyone else a grade ahead anyway. How far ahead to push? The deciding factor for me was that I do not want my kids going away to college before they were 18. Why rush it?

[In The Great White North]

We started at a Waldorf school, which tends to start late anyway. They used Jun 1 as a cut-off date. Then they "looked at" all the children born between Jan and Jun to determine 1st grade readiness. I did not "hold them back." As a result, my dc were all old to middle of their classes but not oldest. They either were already 7 or turned 7 in Oct of 1st grade.

 

This has been a blessing in disguise. They had an extra year of childhood, which could never have been recovered had they started early. Yes, they are older than most of their peers in the public school, but since we went from a Waldorf school to homeschooled, does it really matter? They entered 1st grade when they were ready to sit, pay attention and do academic work and not before. The calendar had little to do with it.

 

If I were to ever put them in a ps, I would prefer them to be older, not younger, than the rest of the class. The extra year of maturity would better enable them to withstand unwelcome peer pressures.

[Angel]

My oldest has a late October birthday. She attended Christian school before we homeschooled. She was very bright, so we had her tested and she entered school at 4 going on 5. She had no problems. However, now she is going into 9th grade at 13 going on 14 and I'm looking at her graduating at 17. If she chooses to go to college she would begin at 17. I am not happy about that. If I would have know then what I know now, I would have waited. In fact, with my younger dd who has an early September birthday, I have taken a more laid back approach. She's also smart, but now I know better. I just teach to her level and call her a 1st grader. She'll be a just turning 8yo 2nd grader.

 

All that to say that I wouldn't put them in the higher grade. ;)

[WTMindy]

I don't think about it at all. I provide educational opportunities that are appropriate for their ability (and maybe even a tad beyond.) I cross unknown bridges as we come to them.

 

That is what we did also, although I just call them whatever they would be in a public school. For example, ds has an October b-day and he was done with K work long before he officially started K, but I just did the work without giving it a grade level. I don't want him going away to college earlier, so I didn't push him forward a year or anything.

[Karenciavo]

That is what we did also, although I just call them whatever they would be in a public school. For example, ds has an October b-day and he was done with K work long before he officially started K, but I just did the work without giving it a grade level. I don't want him going away to college earlier, so I didn't push him forward a year or anything.

 

No one is going to pry my boys out of my arms for college any earlier than 18. ;) I just figure there's always something to learn. I think LoriM's daughters went to 13th and 14th grade, we'll do something like that.

[Lolly]

To start, our school system will NOT allow early entry. No testing, it just isn't allowed. No discussion.

 

Dd1 did not make the cut-off. She was one of the oldest in her class, and one of the most academically ahead when she was in school. She was reading pretty well by age 4. Could do any addition/subtraction before she started K. Had excellent logic skills. She was doing 2nd grade work easily in K. She is in high school now and is probably pretty average as far as academics go. Her gift is art. The early birthday doesn't make a bit of difference at this point.

 

Dd 2,3 made the cut-off technically. If they hadn't been premature, they would not have made it by almost two months. Having observed preemies entered with their birthdates instead of their due dates, I knew it was better to go with the due date in almost all cases. I went with the due dates. Their preschool teacher suggested that dd2 go ahead and dd3 wait another year. One was "ready"; one was not.

 

Fast forward...I didn't send either to school. I worked with them where they were. Dd3 was much more ahead academically from the beginning at home, though not nearly as advanced as her older sister. (Her preschool teachers didn't know she was already beginning to read.) Dd2 was much more advanced socially and blessed in the art of people. (Thus the teachers thinking she was "ready".)

 

Fast forward again...They are in 8th grade next year. Dd2 is dyslexic and struggles academically. We are finding what programs she can handle and proceeding a little more slowly than average. She is a little below her grade level in most subjects. SO glad we didn't put her in by the school date and her birthdate. Dd3 is soaring. She is very independent (some by necessity). I'm about to just have her go ahead and do pretty much all of her subjects with her 10th grade sister next year. I just can't figure out how to do it on paper for transcript. She may end up graduating "early" based on her start date. She will be carrying a high school course load next year. I really can't figure out how to manage with this one.

 

Where they are academically when they are preschool age really doesn't mean anything. A preschooler who is academically ahead is not necessarily going to still be ahead come high school.

 

For my kids...One, it really didn't matter much. She would have been fine either way. With one, she will possibly be bumped back up to her "real" grade after being "held back". With one, she needed to wait. It will be a saving moment for her psyche to not be so far behind because she was "held back" in the first place. I am really glad we have gone with the way we did it. Officially wait. Work at their pace and where they are. Bump back up officially later if it seems prudent.

 

The funniest thing is that it went pretty much the opposite from what their preschool teachers predicted. The one that should be "held back" is the one that is having the most success. The two who were "ahead" in preschool are now average and not quite average. You really just can't tell for sure until they are older.

[Beth in Central TX]

I would go with the local school system's cutoff dates.

 

My two oldest have Fall birthdays and I started them in K when they were 4-going-on-5. Both really wanted to learn to read at that age, so I started schooling them. I should have just let them learn without making it official.

 

Hi Laura,

 

I feel the exact same way. With my 3 sons I have 2 summer birthdays and a fall birthday. My middle son was reading at age 4, so like you, I just started him in Kindergarten. Even if I called it Kindergarten at home, I wish I would have kept him on the public school grade level with church and homeschool group grade level activities. The difference is age is very apparent in a large group; especially since the trend around here is to hold back anyone with a summer (or later) birthday. There are kids in his class that are almost 2 years older than he is.

[GreenKitty]

Most everyone I graduated HS with was somewhere in the range of 17yrs. I on the other hand was 18 and 8months...needless to say I didn't quite like that much. Even now it continues with friends and cousins graduating around the age of 17yrs. My kids will all be aprox 17 1/2 at graduation time. If I feel they need another year of instruction I can do so when that time comes. This does not mean they must 'go' away to college at 17, online courses are available or take a year doing something of interest to them, etc.

[lwilliams1922]

my 12 year old has a Dec birthday.

She did everything early talking, walking, potty, reading,...

 

She started a year earlier and she still knows a tremendous amt more above grade level.

 

The issue we have is maturity. While she was academically able she lacks the maturity, organization and social skills expected.

 

If I had to do it again I would rest easy knowing its perfectly ok that my 4 year old knows how to read. She could continue learning advanced material at home they way she's always done.

 

Maybe I would not have her so sensitive about being the youngest,smallest. There have always been kids in her class TWO years older than her. She's naive and innocent and it's not a good thing for her to be 'taught' some of the treats displayed by older children.

 

That is one of the reasons we are home schooling now.

[Rebecca in GA]

Our DD misses the PS grade cutoff by 17 days. We were thrilled when Georgia Virtual Academy decided to accept her as a fourth-grader for the upcoming year because she did sufficiently well on her placement tests and because she's never been enrolled in a public school.

 

For her, that's the best placement. But it's a combination of maturity, academic ability and readiness in other areas. Our eldest son would have been a different story, but he has a spring birthday. For us, as for some other posters, it would depend on the child.

[Parrothead]

I'm an October baby and my dd is an October baby. (yeah, dh gets hit hard in October because our anniversary is then too.) My mom had me start when I was 4 going on 5. I never really had any problems in school until it came to high school. All my friends were allowed to do more advanced social things and I wasn't Needless to say my parents didn't think it was a problem. LOL

 

Now dd was very ready for more advanced school at 3/almost 4. I was looking for a preschool that wouldn't put her in a class with her age group. Half of them were still in diapers. This one thing ended up being the beginning of our homeschool journey. During my dd's third summer I was getting desperate and remembered the little boy I met in the mall one morning in the middle of the week. He was homeschooled. Mmmmm... Homeschooling. Research and more research. Then the decision was made.

 

I got a few workbooks for PreK/K and off we went. I don't have any regrets starting dd early. After all our first year of formal school took all of 15 minutes twice a day. What I do regret is that I was too worried about grade levels and keeping up with work for her grade instead of her ability. That was during our 2nd year. I've regretted it ever since and still feel guilty three years later.

 

So if you decide to go the more formal bit for a few minutes a day, work with your child's abilities, not at whatever grade society wants to stick her in. There isn't any thing wrong with a child who is able to do more advanced work in one area but at or even slightly behind in other areas.

[Lorna in the boonies]

My son was due 8 days before the state cutoff, but was born 9 days after the cutoff. I had no intention of homeschooling at the time, and I begged my doctor to induce me before the cutoff. I wanted the option of either sending him to school or holding him back, and I wanted that decision to be mine, not the state's.

 

My doctor did not consider that a valid reason for induction, and he refused to do it.

 

Ds was in ps for K-1 before we started homeschooling. Because of that, he is now a rising 6th grader and will turn 12 in September. He knows that he just finished 5th grade, officially, but he did mostly 6th grade work this year. I gave him the ITBS this week, and gave him the fifth grade version.

 

While I wanted him to be born before the cutoff so I would have the choice, I think that having to wait was an advantage for him (and I never would have said that back when he was born).

 

If my oldest (February birthday) had been in the same situation, though, I probably would have been pulling my hair out if I had had to wait an extra year to send her. That child was ready, ready, ready!

[H.S. Burrow]

When DD (October b-day) was 4 and entering pre-school as a matter of course they "tested" all the children in the class to see where they were academically. This was only to determine if ALL kids new colors, shapes, letters, numbers, etc...and was used to determine what to focus on for that particular class. DD teacher asked me to stay after...DD made a perfect score on the pre-k test so they gave her the K test (as their policy - sometimes they had an entire pre-k class academically ready for K and that is where they started them while keeping to a pre-k classroom)...anyway, she made a 97 on the K test (skipped #13 in counting to 100)....so they gave her the 1st grade EXIT test....she made an 81.5....because she looked at the teacher and said "I just counted to 100 twice, I don't want to do it again" (minus 9 points) and "I just told you the alphabet twice, I don't want to do it again" (minus another 9 points) and we had just moved and she had not been taught her mailing address (minus .5 pt) ....these were required on the 1st grade EXIT test. Anyway, her score alone, meant that she was ready for 2nd grade...at 4 years old. So we approached the principal & superintendant about starting K instead of pre-k.......

 

We were told that in Texas, children were not required to attend any school until 6 years of age and that after her 6th birthday they would CONSIDER moving her up 2 grades. That is not what we wanted --and that is when we started researching home schooling -- all we wanted was for her to be in K.

 

With DS (August B-day), he is very bright, all pre-k teachers told us NOT to keep him back, he would be bored. So he started K 2 weeks after his 5th b-day. This was fine as he is VERY tall for his age (most folks think he is 12 & he is still only 9!) Anyway, we have NEVER had any problems academically -- except that BOTH DC have been bored in class.

 

When we decided 2 years ago to jump off the fence and home school, I kept them to their public school grade...and advanced academically where needed. This next year I will have a DD 8th grade & DS 5th grade, but NEXT year I will have a DD 9th grade & DS 5th grade..............

 

The reason for this -- DD will start over in 9th grade with the Ancients & I want DS to be "with" her in history & science...working on his "grade" level. He will continue to move up in English & Math - I'm not holding him back for other subjects. He has read/is reading just about everything on my reading lists for next year...but he doesn't truly understand what he is reading....I believe this is due to maturity. "Repeating" 5th for history & science will give him 2 complete cycles and doing this will also allow him to "graduate" at 18 and he will turn 19 2 weeks before going off to college. I will continue to allow him to "move up" for Sunday school, Scouts, etc...but he has close friends both older & younger than he is, so I don't anticipate any real problems later.

 

It's a hard decision to make....you can't really know what is going to happen 2 years down the road.

 

Hope this helps:)

[Pamela H in Texas]

It just depends. My daughter has always officially been a grade ahead. She went to ps (8 weeks in 2001) and was a grade ahead there also (with discussion of moving her up). We just called her that particular grade but did higher level stuff as she needed.

 

My son has a spring bday and the school said that we could have held him back (we put him in age-based grade). So after that 8 weeks of ps, we did just that. And then again when he still was so immature and not ready to move on. Then we get with the public virtual academy and they tell us he has to be in his age-based grade. We decided to go with it anyway. It worked out wonderfully.

 

It just all depends. kids are so different. I would just play it by ear a bit. Also, whatever choice you make is changeable down the line.

[Melanie]

My daughter's birthday is just after the cut-off date for our state. I've always had her work at her own academic level and used the state's date for reporting purposes and outside activities like Sunday school or ballet or whatever. There are just less hassles that way. She's always the tallest in her class, but she hasn't seemed to suffer for it.

[JenneinCA]

My older kids both have birthdays in October. And I did start them both in kindergarten at 4 almost 5. They will be 9 almost 10 at the start of fifth grade and 7 almost 8 at the start of third grade.

 

AND IT WAS THE RIGHT DECISION!

 

I have crazy smart kids. The problem of dealing with a child entering college at 17 almost 18 is not on my horizon. Right now I am dealing with just delaying her enough to make it to 14. And I am not sure it will work! Smart kids have enough issues with trying to hide their brains to fit in, the idea of deliberately low balling the grade is absurd.

 

I very much think that this is a personal decision. It depends on the child, the parent and the community. It can be the right thing to make them wait. It can also be the right thing to send them early.

[PiCO]

The problem of dealing with a child entering college at 17 almost 18 is not on my horizon.

 

This is a good point. Another option is to start kids in school early, and take a gap year before college to pursue other interests, travel, work, volunteer, etc.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

 

I very much think that this is a personal decision. It depends on the child, the parent and the community. It can be the right thing to make them wait. It can also be the right thing to send them early.

 

I also would have a hard time saying positively yes or positively no. Depends on the kid. But I can definitely see why someone would "lowball" a grade level, depending on who wanted to know. Sometimes people (and programs, like scouts) just want to know how old the kid is and ask in the wrong way.

[Niebski]

My dd is a very young 7th grader - on the cut off date! She's doing great in all ways - no concerns at all for me. She's "ahead" academically in some things. Socially, she's fine, etc, etc.

 

My ds is a young 5th grader (Aug bday). He's small, less mature, less interested in school, etc...I still haven't decided what grade he really is "in." It doesn't matter at home, but I tell him not to get to attached to the label "5th." His buddies are all in 5th, so it could be a problem!

 

So it depends on the kid, in the end, when you have to make them fit somewhere in the SYSTEM!

 

Sue

[Diana in OR]

And, if they are going to attend public school down the line, will they be the smallest/youngest kid around burgeoning teens? Or in the middle of the pack, size-wise. Something else to consider.

 

 

You know, there's just know way to know this when they're 5. My ds missed the cutoff in our state by 4 days. I opted to start him a year earlier than they would have allowed him into ps. Academically, he could have easily waited a year.

 

But, fast-forward to middle school. When he was in 7th grade (6th grade if he was in ps) he was taking choir at the ps. He was the tallest/biggest kid and the only bass in the class of 6-8th graders. He's played football for the past 4 seasons and is physically more like the boys who are a couple of years older than him.

 

He now attends ps high school, at the grade level *I* established for him. He's doing fine academically. I cannot imagine him being in middle school this year. He really would not fit there at all.

 

It really is based on so many individual differences.

[Kay in Cal]

I "skipped" one grade and started college at 17, but so did many (if not most) of my peers with fall and winter birthdays who didn't ever skip. In many places, 17 is the norm for college freshmen.

 

I also attended school in Norway for 2 years (8th and 9th grade) where they start school two years later than we do in the US. I was 12 and most of my classmates were 15. It was wonderful, I was so much happier with older peers--a true relief after 7th grade hell. I long regretted that my parents hadn't allowed me to skip more grades when my school offered (I skipped 1st and went to 2nd, the school had recommended moving me to at least 3rd). I do have to admit that size wasn't an issue--at 12 I could easily pass for 17 (D cup since 7th grade, IYKWIM).

 

Both of my dss are December birthdays, and the cutoff here is December--but before their birthdays. We've opted to "call" them the grade that they just missed. In other words, my older ds would be finishing K this year instead of 1. We always let them move at their own pace with no regard to grade level, but calling my 6 year old a kindergartner seemed to be the height of absurdity.

 

Just to say that there are many children for whom being a little bit younger than their peers isn't a bad thing.

[PiCO]

He's played football for the past 4 seasons and is physically more like the boys who are a couple of years older than him.

 

He now attends ps high school, at the grade level *I* established for him. He's doing fine academically. I cannot imagine him being in middle school this year. He really would not fit there at all.

 

It really is based on so many individual differences.

 

Yes, kids mature at vastly different rates. I was the oldest in my grade, and in 8th grade I was the shortest and least mature physically. My youngest dd is the oldest in her class, and also the shortest. I would certainly not hold her back so she fit in physically with her classmates.

 

I read a study a long time ago that said the most emotionally adjusted kids were girls who matured later than their peers and boys who matured earlier than their peers. It was an iteresting study... can't find it now.