1bassoon Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 OK, Hive, what a week!! You may have read my previous thread about the wonderful, amazing scholarship. That was the highlight. The lowlight? Same wonderful daughter was in a car accident this morning. She's fine - and I'm trying to focus on that - but she's totaled her car. (At least, I'm pretty sure she has. The right rear axle is toast, and the car is a 2001) It was a car that was a gift to her from my parents, she's had it less than 3 months, and was supposed to have gotten her to and from school this year. So. I'm trying SO HARD not to be discouraged. We have insurance, but have to wait until next week to find out what the status is - my guess is that they'll total it, give us a check for VERY little money, and she'll have to get a new car, pronto. So. Someone give me advice, who's btdt. What do we do now? How do I help my daughter not do this again??? (She turned in front of another young, inexperienced driver) or maybe I just need to vent. Or a virtual hug. Ugh. What a week! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Oh, yeah, btdt....got the phone call in the middle of the night, etc.Does she NEED a car? Or could she get rides home now and then? IE, is she living there or commuting? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted August 13, 2011 Author Share Posted August 13, 2011 Yup. Needs. She's living at home, and commuting to school - it's 9 miles away. Plus, she's got a work study that will require she drive off-campus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 :grouphug:It happens. You be thankful no one was hurt. You start looking for a car to replace it. Honestly, being in an accident will most likely make her much more careful than she was before. That invincibility factor has been shaken; and that is a good thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 ya know, teens do not "need" a nice car - just one that will get them reliably from point a to point b. Our "kid" car was a four-cylendar four-speed manual with NO radio and no A/C. great fuel efficency, no guts to race up a hill, and reliable. (but decidedly not "cool".) they've all learned to appreciate the skill of driving a manual. stats over and over show teens are more likely to get in an accident if they are listening to something (cell, music, ipod), or have passengers in the car with them. (in WA, it is actually illegal for a new driver to have a minor non-family member in the car if they are driving.) If a teen "must" have a "nice" car, they don't *need* a car badly enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oakblossoms Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Please have grace. My mother was horrible to me with my acident. Quite a few friends of mine got in accidents. some people aren't ready. You think a lot while you are driving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 I'm so glad she is okay. When ds totaled our car, a month after getting his license, I was shocked that insurance paid out enough to buy another older car, that was in decent shape. Cars need to be in safe working order, and that's about it. Except, at least here, air conditioning is a necessity, not a luxury. One can't really show up for work all sweaty and gross, it is not appropriate in most working situations in which you don't get sweaty and gross on the job. Nor is it safe in 100 degree plus heat indexes, even with the windows rolled down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: That is very scary. I'm betting that she will learn not to do that again based on her very scary and expensive mistake. Is she the type that learns from her mistakes? Is there some guideline about turning in front of someone. It's been so long. Or is it just a judgment call? I err on the side of caution and sometimes get honked at from behind. Oh well!! Also my dad who is a very cautious driver would not attempt to make a left in a hairy spot. He would find a light, if possible, if not, he would turn right and then turn around. I do that myself too. I really don't like left turns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 First, I am really glad your daughter wasn't hurt. So far, my two oldest both totaled their first cars - it boils down to lack of experience IMO. So far, so good with son #3. She may have to just buy something with whatever amount the insurance money comes to. It may not be as nice, but will get her to and from school. That's what my boys had to do. It is a hard and expensive lesson to learn, but I think they were much more cautious afterward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 I'm glad she's okay and no one was hurt. Focus on that. Accidents happen, and they happen to young/new drivers most. She will probably learn some very tough lessons from this, but that is not a bad thing. She may become a much more careful driver and never have another accident again. I know I did. :blushing: My parents were so disappointed in me, and they did not hide that, but neither did they berate me. I think I was more upset by their disappointment than the accident, but ... I learned. It was not a lesson lost, that is for sure. I hope that insurance allows for another car to be purchased. It may not be as nice as the old one, but that, too, is another part of the lesson learned. It's really not all bad. She'll be okay, momma. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mereminerals Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 I'm so sorry. It is pretty scary especially when they are such new drivers. My ds 17 was in an accident on his way home from work in April. We got the property settlement from the insurance within 2 weeks, most of it was waiting on the appraiser to come look at the car and then waiting for them to come back with a real offer after I vetoed the initial offer. The best advice I was given, is to know what your daughter's car is currently going for in your area. I would check craigslist and the local paper to see what it would cost to buy the exact same car. I had to fax them copies of ads we had found on craigslist before they would come even close to what it would cost. Don't take the first offer, as it is usually a low ball offer. But, with this being your insurance it might not be that hard to deal with. We were dealing with the other driver's insurance and are still trying to settle for medical bills and pain and suffering. She will probably be skittish for a little while. My ds is much more cautious now than he was prior to the accident. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 We just went through this except it was my oldest who totaled the car we were about to give the middle. We had accident forgiveness so our rates aren't going up. The insurance ended up paying us more for the car then we thought and although dd got a bit older car (2 years) and with a few more miles (about 20K), she does have a very good car. Oh, and my son did make a mistake (following too closely) but the speed of the accident was very slow (less than 20 miles an hour). The only reason the car was totaled instead of having very minor damage was the it happened on a hill and instead of bumpers hitting, the car in front's bumper smashed the hood of our car, wrecking the radiator, air conditioning, and some other minor things. That made the car a total loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anita in NC Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Was another car damaged in the accident? If not - I probably wouldn't turn it into the insurance at all. Depending on the kind of car, a 10 year old car can't be worth that much and your insurance will go sky high. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZooRho Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 I don't know /understand everything about cars, But we had a car that the ins co totalled. BUt it was fixable so we were able to take the money and get it fixed. We are still driving that car probaly 8 years later. So at least talk to your car repair guy and see what he says. And then I would go back to some basics with her on driving. Maybe drive with her again. Going back over the rules of the road. Look at possible causes of the accident. What could she have done to prevent it?(knowing that not all are preventable) Does she have the radio on? Was she talking to friends? I haven't finished it But found a book at the Library called Crash proof your Kids. by Timothy Smith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Was another car damaged in the accident? If not - I probably wouldn't turn it into the insurance at all. Depending on the kind of car, a 10 year old car can't be worth that much and your insurance will go sky high. In our state, if the police come to the scene, they give you a form to file with the state which REQUIRES you to give your insurance info and they notify your insurance company, so they'll find out anyways. Our insurance company has an accident forgiveness supplement anyways... so it won't necessarily go sky high, especially on the first accident. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancer_Mom Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 . Don't take the first offer, :grouphug: :iagree: If the car is declared totaled you can get enough money to buy another one... you just have to stand up to them. Husband and I were in a crash... car totaled - they offered us $6000. We said no way we just put X amount of money into the car - we faxed them paperwork for $500 worth of work and they then offerd us $8000!!!! We couldn't believe it - they just hoped we would take the first offer. Good Luck... it is so frustrating to go through it but it can be worked out.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted August 15, 2011 Author Share Posted August 15, 2011 Thanks, everyone. She actually wasn't talking on the cell phone, no radio on, no passenger, she just miscalculated her turn. The girl who hit her was younger than she was - my guess is that a more experienced driver would have missed her. I do keep repeating to myself: "She's not in the hospital. It's just a car. It's just a thing." We have USAA - and they have been nothing but wonderful to us. We actually know a guy who owns a very, very reputable shop, so we'll be chatting with him tomorrow. And getting a rental car (which we will be reimbursed for). And the point about her being a much, much more careful driver? I think that will hit home. We are going to sign her up for a defensive driving course, one that she takes while driving her own car, not one the school provides. And finally - we're not concerned about 'nice', just 'safe'. She originally wanted a "beater" car with damage, so she wouldn't have to worry about anyone hurting it. Ha. She actually was driving a hand-me-down from my dad, it was her graduation gift, that she had less than 3 months. THAT's what makes me so sad - it was a nice, nice car, even though it was 10 years old. Sigh. Y'all have actually really, really helped. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 The defensive driving course is a good idea. I'm glad she wasn't hurt. You might be surprised at how much the insurance company will give you for the car (at least I hope so!) My car was totaled a couple of months ago, and I didn't think I'd get much of anything for it (it was a 2001 with fairly high miles) but the insurance company gave me almost the amount I paid for it 7 years ago when I bought it. It was such a blessing to not have to go into big debt to buy a replacement car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiver0f10 Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 :grouphug: It happens. My son totalled his truck the first day he was legally allowed to drive it alone. It was his fault. He had paid for the truck himself so it was an extra hard lesson. Hopefully the insuance will cover the cost of a new used car. Accidents happen. She will learn from this mistake. I am glad she is ok! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 :grouphug: It happens. My son totalled his truck the first day he was legally allowed to drive it alone. It was his fault. He had paid for the truck himself so it was an extra hard lesson. Hopefully the insuance will cover the cost of a new used car. Accidents happen. She will learn from this mistake. I am glad she is ok! I have no advice on the car, insurance, etc. I just want to tell you to focus on that positive that she is OKAY. My oldest was killed in a car accident because of a young, inexperience driver who had only her car for about 3 weeks. Maybe review safety concerns and sometimes that means scaring the heck out of her if this accident didn't already do that. Hugs to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieJ Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Our youngest totaled my DH car about a week after he got his license. It wasn't necessarily his fault, it was a bad set of circumstances. He was ticketed for reckless driving and had to pay for a road sign he hit. We heard a different story from the off duty police officer who witnessed the accident, than what the police officer who wrote the ticket stated, so we did go to court. The police officer did not state the truth as I knew it to be and well, none of us were happy with that outcome. We did not have replacement insurance on it, so it was a tough lesson all the way around. My DH once he got over being thankful no one was hurt was mumbling to one of our elderly neighbors about having to buy a new car. The kindly gentleman looked at him and said, "that's why they call it an accident." Our son was a very careful driver after that, however, he also inherited and drove the hand me down family car that was older than he was. I have included a picture for your enjoyment. :001_smile: BTW, Jessica is now his wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Our youngest totaled my DH car about a week after he got his license. It wasn't necessarily his fault, it was a bad set of circumstances. He was ticketed for reckless driving and had to pay for a road sign he hit. We heard a different story from the off duty police officer who witnessed the accident, than what the police officer who wrote the ticket stated, so we did go to court. The police officer did not state the truth as I knew it to be and well, none of us were happy with that outcome. We did not have replacement insurance on it, so it was a tough lesson all the way around. My DH once he got over being thankful no one was hurt was mumbling to one of our elderly neighbors about having to buy a new car. The kindly gentleman looked at him and said, "that's why they call it an accident." Our son was a very careful driver after that, however, he also inherited and drove the hand me down family car that was older than he was. I have included a picture for your enjoyment. :001_smile: BTW, Jessica is now his wife. How funny! I love the Pac Man :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stages Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 (edited) When I was 18, a friend of mine was driving my car (which was ok'd by my mom) and fell asleep at the wheel. It ended up being a very bloody, very painful accident for me and the two friends in the car. My mom had bought that car for me, but I had to pay her back for the replacement car. Don't be too hard on her. Being inside a car while it get totaled is punishment enough. Edited to add: I have never had an accident (where I was driving) moving more than 5 miles an hour. I hit my fair share of garbage cans while backing out, but other than that, nothing. Being in the accident made me a much more aware driver. Edited August 15, 2011 by Stages Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 We have USAA - and they have been nothing but wonderful to us. USAA is fantastic. They are always wonderful to deal with, without exception. I'm glad things are working out for you, and that your dd is ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted August 16, 2011 Author Share Posted August 16, 2011 I have no advice on the car, insurance, etc. I just want to tell you to focus on that positive that she is OKAY. My oldest was killed in a car accident because of a young, inexperience driver who had only her car for about 3 weeks. Maybe review safety concerns and sometimes that means scaring the heck out of her if this accident didn't already do that. Hugs to you! Oh, Kari. . . .:grouphug: I remember. And I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing this here. I will share with my dd, in a firm and gentle way. I got her stuff out of the car today - it was - wow. The whole back passenger side is smashed. Definitely a total. But she's ok. I think it's just hard to deal with on top of my dh's job stuff going on as well - stress level is pretty significant around here to begin with. Thanks, really, everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulieH Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 :grouphug: Not sure I have any advice, just a "btdt"..only it was ME! I totalled my mom's car 2 weeks after getting my license when I was 17. ugh :( Sorry this happened and glad she's ok! That's what matters most. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindyD Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 I can tell you what happened when I totaled my first car 3 days before my 17th birthday. My parents drove me to and from school and work. It was a pain. They told me I was responsible for finding another car. I saved up I think $400 and bought this ugly beige hatchback that was closing in on 20 years old, but it was dependable. It went "put put put put put" when I accelerated, the seats were torn...it was ugly. But I was actually quite proud of my car because I'd bought it. After a few months, my parents gave me their car and they bought another one for themselves. It was a struggle, and it was annoying for my parents, but I appreciate how they handled it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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