Mama Geek Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I know I started the thread about healthy boundaries this morning, but I am looking for a little advice now. Things have been tense between me and MIL for a long time and have gotten worse since dd. We are heading to their house this weekend for several days since they are on the other side of the country. She called me today which hasn't happened in a while. We did a word or 2 of greetings and she says "What's wrong you don't sound like you want to hear from me." I'll admit that I am always suspect when she calls me that she is trying to be manipulative in some way, but I don't think that came across is a couple of words. And it makes it tough to deal with because she throws these kind of questions out frequently. I assume she realizes things aren't easy so why make them harder? How am I supposed to respond to questions like that without starting World War 3. Um, yeah I am uncomfortable talking to you because you are usually trying to manipulate me. She can't stand to hear a kid cry because to her it means that something is horribly wrong. She has a victim mentality and displaces it to dd by doing the oh, poor baby, it's so horrible thing. It is enough to make me sick. She is critical of most things that I do. I can't even make a cup of chocolate milk correctly for myself. I was pregnant and only put a small squirt of chocolate in the milk. MIL gets onto me about going out and buying something nice for myself as in clothes. Well there are other things that I would rather have or rather do than spend my money on clothes. She doesn't get it. How am I going to get through basically 3 days with her, on the fourth day we will be at a big family reunion so I won't be around her much? There are power struggles and dh can't be there all the time. He and his dad like to spend time working on projects on the farm. Thanks for letting me vent. Maybe it will go better than I am hoping. I tried to convince dh to come back on Tuesday, but that didn't happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 You can't put boundaries around annoying or passive/aggressive. :grouphug: You can only walk away or hang up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Sounds very taxing. You have my sympathies. When I had to deal with a relative like that, I was advised to take the Jane Goodall approach. Pretend you're a disinterested observer collecting research data. Whatever passive-aggressive or manipulative conduct your MIL engages in is just more information for your research. I can't claim that always worked when dealing with my difficult relative, but it helped a little. As did chianti. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted August 2, 2011 Author Share Posted August 2, 2011 You can't put boundaries around annoying or passive/aggressive. :grouphug: You can only walk away or hang up. WHAT? Oh no I'm doomed:svengo: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 I tend to just passively agree. Make vague responses that mean nothing. "You should buy better clothes for yourself" *sigh* "You are probably right--its just so..." *sigh* " I don't know".... Or be really perky and dumb "Are you mad at me? You seem to be avoiding me." "I am???? Really???? I'm so sorry, I was just really interested in learning mating habits of the mountain lion here on Discovery channel..." or "No, I'm not mad at you, I'm just at little distracted/tired/jumpy/ whatever, right now" Other than that I have nothing. My mother is so pushy, I either have to set the boundry firm or just sort of mumble and get through it (basically whatever she does, will change next week, so the boundry is null and void). Lara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 You can't put boundaries around annoying or passive/aggressive. :grouphug: You can only walk away or hang up. :iagree: Don't respond to any nuances. Practice cheerful obliviousness. Do you have some sewing or knitting you can bring. Seriously--having something to do with your hands and focus your eyes on could save your life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted August 2, 2011 Author Share Posted August 2, 2011 I might pick up a small cross stitch project. I've been thinking about getting into one again anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nono Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 Heh, you could use my excuse (which is true for me), "I'm just not a phone person." :) And, as for how to survive several days with her? Jamison in your morning coffee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 :iagree: However, I have selective hearing impairment when pushed with crazy questions or comments. Let them repeat themselves until they get it. I'll also slip off to the bathroom just to get away. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: You can't put boundaries around annoying or passive/aggressive. :grouphug: You can only walk away or hang up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michelle l Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 (edited) You are describing my MIL to a T. :ack2: There are a few things I've learned over the years. Caller ID. I seldom answer if I see that she is the caller. I particularly do not answer if my husband is not home. Don't engage. Just because she comments does not mean you have to respond. My mil started in again on one of her usual topics (criticizing her other children). DH and I just kept chopping veggies and didn't say a word or even look at her as if to say "go on". We weren't rude, we simply didn't respond. It just left her comment hanging there in the silence and she eventually moved to a different topic. Which brings me to the next point... Something to do You need something else to focus on. I don't care if it's a silly handicraft project that you hate. It is a vehicle for non-engagement. It could be a card game, knitting, cross-word puzzle, making lemonaid, a book, playing with a child....etc. Anything that allows you to put your focus elsewhere. In some ways it feels like a chicken's way out, but I find that directly confronting my MIL does little good, and is always much worse than it ought to be. It is impossible to confront her without having her completely over react. Confront her Yes. When you need to. Just be prepared for a major knock-down, drag-out battle. You do not need to be a door mat just because she is difficult. Just understand what is coming if you do confront, and be prepared for it. Walk away Easier to do if you are in a group. I do this when she becomes critical. Be cheerfully oblivious Act like you don't get it. Laugh. My "oblivious" sort of looks like a nurse dealing with a grouchy old lady -- all smiles and not giving the grouchiness any real consideration. Call her out "I'm not sure what you're trying to say?" "What do you mean by that?" "Why do you ask?" She might squirm. It's kind of fun. Lead the conversation I have several back-up topics that are fairly neutral that I can use to direct the conversation. Sort of brings me back to "don't engage", but more actively. DO NOT BE ALONE This is the biggest one in my book. Being alone with my mil is dangerous.;) It sounds funny, but I think many people in her life would agree with me. So, when we are at her house, I find LOTS of ways to prevent that. I can spend a great deal of time in the bathroom, getting ready, playing downstairs with the kids, getting kids dressed, picking up, etc. And I WILL NOT ride in the car alone with her. Period. Get a backbone Most of the suggestions I've given have been avoidance techniques. Honestly though, there really does come a time when you are just old enough, I guess, to not take it any more. With practice, you can find ways to hold your ground and feel less intimidated. The more you stand up for yourself, the less fearful you will be. Mind you, her behavior won't change, but it will come to affect you less, and you will become more adept at dealing with it. She will push, she just won't get anywhere. Age and time maybe...I don't know. Good luck. I know it stinks. Edited August 2, 2011 by michelle l Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 Heh, you could use my excuse (which is true for me), "I'm just not a phone person." :) And, as for how to survive several days with her? Jamison in your morning coffee. And what about those of us that can't drink? My mother lands tomorrow... You are describing my MIL to a T. :ack2: There are a few things I've learned over the years. Caller ID. I seldom answer if I see that she is the caller. I particularly do not answer if my husband is not home. Don't engage. Just because she comments does not mean you have to respond. My mil started in again on one of her usual topics (criticizing her other children). DH and I just kept chopping veggies and didn't say a word or even look at her as if to say "go on". We weren't rude, we simply didn't respond. It just left her comment hanging there in the silence and she eventually moved to a different topic. Which brings me to the next point... Something to do You need something else to focus on. I don't care if it's a silly handicraft project that you hate. It is a vehicle for non-engagement. It could be a card game, knitting, cross-word puzzle, making lemonaid, a book, playing with a child....etc. Anything that allows you to put your focus elsewhere. In some ways it feels like a chicken's way out, but I find that directly confronting my MIL does little good, and is always much worse than it ought to be. It is impossible to confront her without having her completely over react. Confront her Yes. When you need to. Just be prepared for a major knock-down, drag-out battle. You do not need to be a door mat just because she is difficult. Just understand that what is coming if you do confront, and be prepared for it. Walk away Be cheerfully oblivious Lead the conversation I have several back-up topics that are fairly neutral that I can use to direct the conversation. Sort of brings me back to "don't engage", but more actively. DO NOT BE ALONE This is the biggest one in my book. Being alone with my mil is dangerous.;) It sounds funny, but I think many people in her life would agree with me. So, when we are at her house, I find LOTS of ways to prevent that. I can spend a great deal of time in the bathroom, getting ready, playing downstairs with the kids, getting kids dressed, picking up, etc. And I WILL NOT ride in the car alone with her. Period. Get a backbone Most of the suggestions I've given have been avoidance techniques. Honestly though, there really does come a time when you are just old enough, I guess, to not take it any more. With practice, you can find ways to hold your ground and feel less intimidated. The more you stand up for yourself, the less fearful you will be. Mind you, her behavior may never change, but it will come to affect you less, and you will become more adept at dealing with it. Age and time maybe...I don't know. Good luck. I know it stinks. Love it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiveOaksAcademy Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 You are describing my MIL to a T. :ack2: There are a few things I've learned over the years. Caller ID. I seldom answer if I see that she is the caller. I particularly do not answer if my husband is not home. Don't engage. Just because she comments does not mean you have to respond. My mil started in again on one of her usual topics (criticizing her other children). DH and I just kept chopping veggies and didn't say a word or even look at her as if to say "go on". We weren't rude, we simply didn't respond. It just left her comment hanging there in the silence and she eventually moved to a different topic. Which brings me to the next point... Something to do You need something else to focus on. I don't care if it's a silly handicraft project that you hate. It is a vehicle for non-engagement. It could be a card game, knitting, cross-word puzzle, making lemonaid, a book, playing with a child....etc. Anything that allows you to put your focus elsewhere. In some ways it feels like a chicken's way out, but I find that directly confronting my MIL does little good, and is always much worse than it ought to be. It is impossible to confront her without having her completely over react. Confront her Yes. When you need to. Just be prepared for a major knock-down, drag-out battle. You do not need to be a door mat just because she is difficult. Just understand what is coming if you do confront, and be prepared for it. Walk away Easier to do if you are in a group. I do this when she becomes critical. Be cheerfully oblivious Act like you don't get it. Laugh. My "oblivious" sort of looks like a nurse dealing with a grouchy old lady -- all smiles and not giving the grouchiness any real consideration. Call her out "I'm not sure what you're trying to say?" "What do you mean by that?" "Why do you ask?" She might squirm. It's kind of fun. Lead the conversation I have several back-up topics that are fairly neutral that I can use to direct the conversation. Sort of brings me back to "don't engage", but more actively. DO NOT BE ALONE This is the biggest one in my book. Being alone with my mil is dangerous.;) It sounds funny, but I think many people in her life would agree with me. So, when we are at her house, I find LOTS of ways to prevent that. I can spend a great deal of time in the bathroom, getting ready, playing downstairs with the kids, getting kids dressed, picking up, etc. And I WILL NOT ride in the car alone with her. Period. Get a backbone Most of the suggestions I've given have been avoidance techniques. Honestly though, there really does come a time when you are just old enough, I guess, to not take it any more. With practice, you can find ways to hold your ground and feel less intimidated. The more you stand up for yourself, the less fearful you will be. Mind you, her behavior won't change, but it will come to affect you less, and you will become more adept at dealing with it. She will push, she just won't get anywhere. Age and time maybe...I don't know. Good luck. I know it stinks. These are so good!! I actually have no one in my life right now that I would need to use this on (thank goodness), but I have in the past...where were you then??? ;) I really resonated with the underlined paragraph. I think that one is important and should be followed, if at all possible. We had a family member on dh's side several years ago who would wait until we were alone and corner me with questions that would not ever have been asked in dh's presence. It was fairly typical in this portion of the family that the IL spouse was always to blame for any perceived shortcomings...so that left me as the target!! :lol: Having something to do with your hands, as simple as it is, I think it is golden!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 Wow, I should print and file this for our next visit. You are describing my MIL to a T. :ack2: There are a few things I've learned over the years. Caller ID. I seldom answer if I see that she is the caller. I particularly do not answer if my husband is not home. Don't engage. Just because she comments does not mean you have to respond. My mil started in again on one of her usual topics (criticizing her other children). DH and I just kept chopping veggies and didn't say a word or even look at her as if to say "go on". We weren't rude, we simply didn't respond. It just left her comment hanging there in the silence and she eventually moved to a different topic. Which brings me to the next point... Something to do You need something else to focus on. I don't care if it's a silly handicraft project that you hate. It is a vehicle for non-engagement. It could be a card game, knitting, cross-word puzzle, making lemonaid, a book, playing with a child....etc. Anything that allows you to put your focus elsewhere. In some ways it feels like a chicken's way out, but I find that directly confronting my MIL does little good, and is always much worse than it ought to be. It is impossible to confront her without having her completely over react. Confront her Yes. When you need to. Just be prepared for a major knock-down, drag-out battle. You do not need to be a door mat just because she is difficult. Just understand what is coming if you do confront, and be prepared for it. Walk away Easier to do if you are in a group. I do this when she becomes critical. Be cheerfully oblivious Act like you don't get it. Laugh. My "oblivious" sort of looks like a nurse dealing with a grouchy old lady -- all smiles and not giving the grouchiness any real consideration. Call her out "I'm not sure what you're trying to say?" "What do you mean by that?" "Why do you ask?" She might squirm. It's kind of fun. Lead the conversation I have several back-up topics that are fairly neutral that I can use to direct the conversation. Sort of brings me back to "don't engage", but more actively. DO NOT BE ALONE This is the biggest one in my book. Being alone with my mil is dangerous.;) It sounds funny, but I think many people in her life would agree with me. So, when we are at her house, I find LOTS of ways to prevent that. I can spend a great deal of time in the bathroom, getting ready, playing downstairs with the kids, getting kids dressed, picking up, etc. And I WILL NOT ride in the car alone with her. Period. Get a backbone Most of the suggestions I've given have been avoidance techniques. Honestly though, there really does come a time when you are just old enough, I guess, to not take it any more. With practice, you can find ways to hold your ground and feel less intimidated. The more you stand up for yourself, the less fearful you will be. Mind you, her behavior won't change, but it will come to affect you less, and you will become more adept at dealing with it. She will push, she just won't get anywhere. Age and time maybe...I don't know. Good luck. I know it stinks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 You are describing my MIL to a T. :ack2: There are a few things I've learned over the years. Caller ID. I seldom answer if I see that she is the caller. I particularly do not answer if my husband is not home. Don't engage. Just because she comments does not mean you have to respond. My mil started in again on one of her usual topics (criticizing her other children). DH and I just kept chopping veggies and didn't say a word or even look at her as if to say "go on". We weren't rude, we simply didn't respond. It just left her comment hanging there in the silence and she eventually moved to a different topic. Which brings me to the next point... Something to do You need something else to focus on. I don't care if it's a silly handicraft project that you hate. It is a vehicle for non-engagement. It could be a card game, knitting, cross-word puzzle, making lemonaid, a book, playing with a child....etc. Anything that allows you to put your focus elsewhere. In some ways it feels like a chicken's way out, but I find that directly confronting my MIL does little good, and is always much worse than it ought to be. It is impossible to confront her without having her completely over react. Confront her Yes. When you need to. Just be prepared for a major knock-down, drag-out battle. You do not need to be a door mat just because she is difficult. Just understand what is coming if you do confront, and be prepared for it. Walk away Easier to do if you are in a group. I do this when she becomes critical. Be cheerfully oblivious Act like you don't get it. Laugh. My "oblivious" sort of looks like a nurse dealing with a grouchy old lady -- all smiles and not giving the grouchiness any real consideration. Call her out "I'm not sure what you're trying to say?" "What do you mean by that?" "Why do you ask?" She might squirm. It's kind of fun. Lead the conversation I have several back-up topics that are fairly neutral that I can use to direct the conversation. Sort of brings me back to "don't engage", but more actively. DO NOT BE ALONE This is the biggest one in my book. Being alone with my mil is dangerous.;) It sounds funny, but I think many people in her life would agree with me. So, when we are at her house, I find LOTS of ways to prevent that. I can spend a great deal of time in the bathroom, getting ready, playing downstairs with the kids, getting kids dressed, picking up, etc. And I WILL NOT ride in the car alone with her. Period. Get a backbone Most of the suggestions I've given have been avoidance techniques. Honestly though, there really does come a time when you are just old enough, I guess, to not take it any more. With practice, you can find ways to hold your ground and feel less intimidated. The more you stand up for yourself, the less fearful you will be. Mind you, her behavior won't change, but it will come to affect you less, and you will become more adept at dealing with it. She will push, she just won't get anywhere. Age and time maybe...I don't know. Good luck. I know it stinks. Somebody needs to make this into a sticky for easy reference. Really great advice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 l Get a backbone Most of the suggestions I've given have been avoidance techniques. Honestly though, there really does come a time when you are just old enough, I guess, to not take it any more. With practice, you can find ways to hold your ground and feel less intimidated. The more you stand up for yourself, the less fearful you will be. Mind you, her behavior won't change, but it will come to affect you less, and you will become more adept at dealing with it. She will push, she just won't get anywhere. Age and time maybe...I don't know. Good luck. I know it stinks. I wish I had done this with my MIL, instead I tried to lay low and be polite, it just made her think she could behave as she wanted. We haven't spoken to DH's parents in 8 years, because of his mothers maliciousness. I think if he or I had stood up early on she might have backed down, who knows, but I know I would have felt better about myself. I was never meant to be a doormat and I doubt you are either. I suggest putting a stop to her attitude or at least let her know you won't be held hostage by it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parker Martin Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 You wrote that they live across the country. Do you see them often? If not, I wouldn't get too wrapped up in it. A friend of mine plays MIL Bingo. She imagines a bingo card with a square for things her MIL always says or does that push her buttons. Then when one of these things occurs, she mentally fills in her bingo card. She says that making a mental game out of it makes the annoying behaviors less annoying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nono Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 And what about those of us that can't drink? My mother lands tomorrow... Well, can you get a 'scrip for medical marijuana? ;) :grouphug: and good luck starting tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 We are heading to their house this weekend for several days since they are on the other side of the country. If you mean you are staying at her house instead of a hotel, honey, you are crazy! I never ever ever ever ever ever stay at anyone's house (even with the people I really like.) If I can't get my own hotel and my own independent transportation, I don't go. Ever. I don't invite people to stay overnight at my house either. I invite them over for meals and events but they have to get their own place to stay and their own transportation. She called me today which hasn't happened in a while. We did a word or 2 of greetings and she says "What's wrong you don't sound like you want to hear from me." This is bait. Don't bite. I would respond with a confused tone that says "That was a weird thing to ask" and say "I'm doing great, thanks. How are you?" In general, I would have caller ID and wait for her to leave a message. It's your husband's mother and he can field all the phone calls if he has a pair and can set boundaries with her. If he can't set boundaries with Mommy, then he can go see Mommy on his own rather than spreading the misery to his family. She can't stand to hear a kid cry because to her it means that something is horribly wrong. She has a victim mentality and displaces it to dd by doing the oh, poor baby, it's so horrible thing. It is enough to make me sick. She is critical of most things that I do. I can't even make a cup of chocolate milk correctly for myself. I was pregnant and only put a small squirt of chocolate in the milk. MIL gets onto me about going out and buying something nice for myself as in clothes. Well there are other things that I would rather have or rather do than spend my money on clothes. I would say, "I have other priorities." Then I would change the subject. If she brings it up again I would say, "Didn't we already cover that?" with that same tone of confusion in my voice that says, "What a strange thing to ask!" Then I would change the subject again. She doesn't get it. How am I going to get through basically 3 days with her, on the fourth day we will be at a big family reunion so I won't be around her much? There are power struggles and dh can't be there all the time. He and his dad like to spend time working on projects on the farm. I would put it very bluntly to my husband that if he leaves me alone in a room to deal with MIL, there will be h3ll for him to pay. If he thinks he can just get married and have a wife to be a buffer between him and Mommy Dearest because he doesn't want to deal with her crap, there will be serious marital issues that come from it. It's his job to protect your from it and if he fails to do so, there should be serious repercussions. Thanks for letting me vent. Maybe it will go better than I am hoping. I tried to convince dh to come back on Tuesday, but that didn't happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 A friend of mine plays MIL Bingo. She imagines a bingo card with a square for things her MIL always says or does that push her buttons. Then when one of these things occurs, she mentally fills in her bingo card. She says that making a mental game out of it makes the annoying behaviors less annoying. Gasping for air! That is downright hilarious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted August 3, 2011 Author Share Posted August 3, 2011 You are describing my MIL to a T. :ack2: There are a few things I've learned over the years. Caller ID. I seldom answer if I see that she is the caller. I particularly do not answer if my husband is not home. Don't engage. Just because she comments does not mean you have to respond. My mil started in again on one of her usual topics (criticizing her other children). DH and I just kept chopping veggies and didn't say a word or even look at her as if to say "go on". We weren't rude, we simply didn't respond. It just left her comment hanging there in the silence and she eventually moved to a different topic. Which brings me to the next point... Something to do You need something else to focus on. I don't care if it's a silly handicraft project that you hate. It is a vehicle for non-engagement. It could be a card game, knitting, cross-word puzzle, making lemonaid, a book, playing with a child....etc. Anything that allows you to put your focus elsewhere. In some ways it feels like a chicken's way out, but I find that directly confronting my MIL does little good, and is always much worse than it ought to be. It is impossible to confront her without having her completely over react. Confront her Yes. When you need to. Just be prepared for a major knock-down, drag-out battle. You do not need to be a door mat just because she is difficult. Just understand what is coming if you do confront, and be prepared for it. Walk away Easier to do if you are in a group. I do this when she becomes critical. Be cheerfully oblivious Act like you don't get it. Laugh. My "oblivious" sort of looks like a nurse dealing with a grouchy old lady -- all smiles and not giving the grouchiness any real consideration. Call her out "I'm not sure what you're trying to say?" "What do you mean by that?" "Why do you ask?" She might squirm. It's kind of fun. Lead the conversation I have several back-up topics that are fairly neutral that I can use to direct the conversation. Sort of brings me back to "don't engage", but more actively. DO NOT BE ALONE This is the biggest one in my book. Being alone with my mil is dangerous.;) It sounds funny, but I think many people in her life would agree with me. So, when we are at her house, I find LOTS of ways to prevent that. I can spend a great deal of time in the bathroom, getting ready, playing downstairs with the kids, getting kids dressed, picking up, etc. And I WILL NOT ride in the car alone with her. Period. Get a backbone Most of the suggestions I've given have been avoidance techniques. Honestly though, there really does come a time when you are just old enough, I guess, to not take it any more. With practice, you can find ways to hold your ground and feel less intimidated. The more you stand up for yourself, the less fearful you will be. Mind you, her behavior won't change, but it will come to affect you less, and you will become more adept at dealing with it. She will push, she just won't get anywhere. Age and time maybe...I don't know. Good luck. I know it stinks. I work on all of these although I am not always successful. The get a backbone and confrontation is one of the hardest. How do you do this and still be respectful? Even though she doesn't necessarily deserve the respect it is important to me. I am often very blunt and tell it like it is without sugar coating it and in this case I fear I would become to emotional. Being emotional in front of her, IMO would be a big sign of weakness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted August 3, 2011 Author Share Posted August 3, 2011 You wrote that they live across the country. Do you see them often? If not, I wouldn't get too wrapped up in it. A friend of mine plays MIL Bingo. She imagines a bingo card with a square for things her MIL always says or does that push her buttons. Then when one of these things occurs, she mentally fills in her bingo card. She says that making a mental game out of it makes the annoying behaviors less annoying. Our home is really close to where they are part year residents. We end up traveling any time dh has work, which has been more often than not this year so far. We will be staying with them at their other place of residence for this trip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zaichiki Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 A friend of mine plays MIL Bingo. She imagines a bingo card with a square for things her MIL always says or does that push her buttons. Then when one of these things occurs, she mentally fills in her bingo card. She says that making a mental game out of it makes the annoying behaviors less annoying. :lol: I like it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovelaughs_times_three Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Practice cheerful obliviousness. LOVE THIS QUOTE!!! :D So well said! So very true! So wise! Thanks, Strider! I needed that wisdom too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arghmatey Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 I agree with Joanne, but another option is not to answer the phone. You're busy. I do not answer the phone if I know I can't be carry on a pleasant conversation; in my opinion, this is charitable of me. That means I usually don't answer the phone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 :iagree: However, I have selective hearing impairment when pushed with crazy questions or comments. Let them repeat themselves until they get it. I'll also slip off to the bathroom just to get away. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Great suggestion. Get a book and hide out in the bathroom for the trip. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Great suggestion. Get a book and hide out in the bathroom for the trip. :001_smile: And beverage of your choice in the toliet tank. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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