Some days I'm not sure if I want to laugh or smack someone

[SquirrellyMama]

I told my dd 9 if she wanted to be helpful she could switch the laundry for me.

 

She just stood there so I asked, "Are you waiting for me to forget I asked you to switch the laundry?" She said, "No, you said if I wanted to be helpful I could switch the laundry."

 

My husband's response, "Well, that's what you said."

 

I have since explained that "if you want to be helpful" means "just get it done".

 

Kelly

[OnTheBrink]

I feel your pain. At that age, they need to just be told what to do because they think the literal interpretation of "if you want to..." is their loophole to refuse!

[gardening momma]

I told my dd 9 if she wanted to be helpful she could switch the laundry for me.

 

She just stood there so I asked, "Are you waiting for me to forget I asked you to switch the laundry?" She said, "No, you said if I wanted to be helpful I could switch the laundry."

 

My husband's response, "Well, that's what you said."

 

I have since explained that "if you want to be helpful" means "just get it done".

 

Kelly

I did that all the time to my mom. She learned to word things differently. :D

[Truscifi]

Ds7 is already very literal. I have also learned to word things differently. ;)

[Mrs Mungo]

In the military an "implied order" (where you ask someone to do something) still counts as a direct order. Teach your children (AND your dh!) this concept. ;) :D

Edited June 22, 2011 by Mrs Mungo

[SquirrellyMama]

I feel your pain. At that age, they need to just be told what to do because they think the literal interpretation of "if you want to..." is their loophole to refuse!

 

I know, I know. I was hoping she would want to be helpful :crying:

 

For the record it was my dh that I wanted to smack :001_smile: The smirking gets to me when he replies with, "Well, that what you said."

 

Kelly

[Wendi]

Oh, you have one of those kids, too? :D

 

Wendi

[gardening momma]

Ds7 is already very literal. I have also learned to word things differently. ;)

I was a teenager when I did it. :D

[Aubrey]

Yes, I used to get "No, thank you," in response to "Will you please?" :glare:

 

It's important to teach kids which questions are yes/no questions, because later in life, they'll need to be able to make those distinctions. ;)

[mo2]

Yes, I have totally learned not to say, "Will you please pick up your toys?" It has to be a direct instruction: "Go pick up your toys. Now, not later."

[kchara]

I have an 8 yo like that. I've decided he just has a death wish. :glare: I am working on rewording things, too. A lot. ;)

[SquirrellyMama]

Yes, I used to get "No, thank you," in response to "Will you please?" :glare:

 

It's important to teach kids which questions are yes/no questions, because later in life, they'll need to be able to make those distinctions. ;)

 

I have also learned not to say, "Will you please". I always had to follow that up with, "That wasn't a request it was a command."

 

Kelly

[Pretty in Pink]

In the military an "implied order" (where you ask someone to do something) still counts as a direct order. Teach your children (AND your dh!) this concept. ;) :D

 

Isn't that the truth!

 

My ds12 has taken lately to responding to every request with, "No." "Son, will you empty the dishwasher?" "No." :glare: At first he did it with a serious tone; now that he's been scolded a few times he just does it and then giggles like it's funny. Sheesh.

[SweetMissMagnolia]

OMGOODNESS LOL just have to laugh-that sounds like my 8 yr old--he is VERY LITERAL!!! :glare:

[QueenCat]

Yes, I used to get "No, thank you," in response to "Will you please?" :glare:

 

:lol: At least they used manners in refusing!

[SquirrellyMama]

Yes, I have totally learned not to say, "Will you please pick up your toys?" It has to be a direct instruction: "Go pick up your toys. Now, not later."

 

I may start adding on the "now, not later" at the end of my commands.

 

Kelly

[PinkInTheBlue]

I told my dd 9 if she wanted to be helpful she could switch the laundry for me.

 

She just stood there so I asked, "Are you waiting for me to forget I asked you to switch the laundry?" She said, "No, you said if I wanted to be helpful I could switch the laundry."

 

My husband's response, "Well, that's what you said."

 

I have since explained that "if you want to be helpful" means "just get it done".

 

Kelly

 

Since it's not my kids and my house this time I can LOL! It *is* funny. :) Sorry

[bettyandbob]

When I was a kid, my mom always said "would you like to ..." take out the trash, empty the dishwasher, etc. It drove me crazy. No, I wouldn't like to. I told she should just tell me to take the trash out. "would you like to" seemed really offensive to me because it was like she was pretending not to order me around. Or like she was doing me a favor letting me take out the trash.

 

I guess that's why I tell my dc to do chores without euphemisms.

[Aubrey]

When I was a kid, my mom always said "would you like to ..." take out the trash, empty the dishwasher, etc. It drove me crazy. No, I wouldn't like to. I told she should just tell me to take the trash out. "would you like to" seemed really offensive to me because it was like she was pretending not to order me around. Or like she was doing me a favor letting me take out the trash.

 

I guess that's why I tell my dc to do chores without euphemisms.

 

Meh--I don't think it's a euphemism to say, "Will you please?" Plus, they mimic what they hear; I don't want them ordering their little sibs around, so when I hear polite little, "will you pleases," it makes me smile. Esp when 4yo responds w/, NO. :lol:

[Dana]

When I was a kid, my mom always said "would you like to ..." take out the trash, empty the dishwasher, etc. It drove me crazy. No, I wouldn't like to. I told she should just tell me to take the trash out. "would you like to" seemed really offensive to me because it was like she was pretending not to order me around. Or like she was doing me a favor letting me take out the trash.

 

I guess that's why I tell my dc to do chores without euphemisms.

 

My husband tells me I do this. I'm not even aware of it. I see it as trying to be polite instead of just saying "Would you..." I'm working on changing it.

 

My son has said, "No, I wouldn't like to," a couple of times. I think that keeps me more aware of my word choice. :lol:

[gardening momma]

Since it's not my kids and my house this time I can LOL! It *is* funny. :) Sorry

:iagree: :lol:

 

But my kids haven't started doing this yet.

[2_girls_mommy]

I know better than to word a question like that! My literal dd would want to explain to me what I said ad naseum. I have to just give directions and nothing more except the occasional, now, not later, like a PP said.

[Pink Fairy]

I always leave out the "will you" but include the "please," as in, "Please bring in the laundry." Not because my kids are too literal and view "will you" as a choice, but because that's the kind of kid I was. My parents have since recovered, but I'm pretty sure I taxed their nerves on occasion. :lol:

[KidsHappen]

I took a communications class in college and this is actually of big area of difference in the way the average man and woman communicates. Women are trying to be polite. Men really think these are optional requests. I found this to be expecially true in the work place. People are capable of adjusting their expectations to the situation to a certain extent though. I still ask my dh politely and he understands that for the most part I am asking him to do it and he complies. In the workplace, I issue orders instead. My hubby on the other hand seems to have a breakdown in communication with women at work. Even though he understands that the women are using the language in the same way that I am he expects them to use traditional commands for work and therefore still thinks a request is optional. I try to guide him but he makes the point that at his level it is expected that women should have figured out how to handle requests vs. commands and that he is doing them no favor by support the ambiguity. However, it is my advice that if the woman in question is his boss then he should either comply or clarify.