TKDmom Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 If you have allowed sleepovers in the past, would you (or have you) put a stop to your kids' sleepovers based on horror-stories that other people have shared? My dd has sleepovers all the time with a couple of girls from church. One of them is an only child, and her mother's preferred method of having friends over seems to be marathon play-dates that include sleep-overs. But as they get older, I'm starting to realize the kind of trouble kids get into, and I'm starting to remember just how easy it was for us to sneak out when I was a kid.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 If you have allowed sleepovers in the past, would you (or have you) put a stop to your kids' sleepovers based on horror-stories that other people have shared? No, I have not and I would not. My children do not attend every sleepover that they are invited to; the ones that they do attend are with children and families that we know and trust. If sleeping over with a particular friend became a problem then I would cut off sleepovers with that friend, but not because of some horror story I read or heard somewhere else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 No, I'm not changing how I do things. I never got into trouble at sleepovers. Probably because my parents did the same things we do now which is know the parents and families very well. We never slept over at people's houses my parents didn't know extremely well (most of the parents all went to high school together) and our girls don't sleepover at anyone's home we don't trust completely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 I am selective in where my daughter sleeps over, so I won't be rushing to ban sleepovers. They're pretty infrequent anyway and I don't think my 10 year old is going to be sneaking out of her coach's house in a small development waaaaaay out in the country.They're not drinkers, have entertainment standards that are pretty much in line with ours... As she gets older, though, there will be more in depth analysis of any given playdate or sleepover. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keniki Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 No, I have not and I would not. My children do not attend every sleepover that they are invited to; the ones that they do attend are with children and families that we know and trust. If sleeping over with a particular friend became a problem then I would cut off sleepovers with that friend, but not because of some horror story I read or heard somewhere else. :iagree: Sleepovers have been and continue to be allowed based on the friendship -- child's AND mine with the parents. It isn't even based on mistakes (bad choices, whatever you want to call them) that older children have made. Each child is considered individually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 No, I'm not changing how I do things. I never got into trouble at sleepovers. Probably because my parents did the same things we do now which is know the parents and families very well. We never slept over at people's houses my parents didn't know extremely well (most of the parents all went to high school together) and our girls don't sleepover at anyone's home we don't trust completely. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 I had sleepovers my whole life and never got in trouble. I try not to parent on a fear basis. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 I have allowed sleepovers in the past, and I will continue to allow sleepovers is what I voted. Of course, if you read the other thread you will learn that my son hasd only had slept over at his cousin's house. We have allowed other kids here though. Since we are fairly strict, I don't see us changing much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyWImom Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 What horror stories that others have shared?:confused: Did I miss a thread? We don't allow sleep-overs for a couple of reasons. One, dd is only 9 (ds, 7), two, all of her friends live at least 20-30 miles away, and three, she hasn't wanted to!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 zach has never slept over away from us--he's 8.....I have a few people that I would trust....but the issue has never come up..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Not changing my policy :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 We haven't hit the sleepover milestone yet, but when we do, I plan to allow them on a limited basis. My DC will only be allowed to sleep out at the homes of families that we know well & trust, and I will allow them at my home because I know (this is going to sound arrogant, but it's true) that I'm a better parent than my folks were. My mom was kept on a very short leash as a teen, and she rebelled against it hard, so she opted to parent in the other direction. I've seen the same results from both parenting styles, to be honest, so I'm going to try to find a middle ground. I want my kids to be parented so they don't feel the need to act out for attention, but I do not want to lock them in cages that they have to fight their ways out of. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaKinVA Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Not changing our policies on sleepovers. We know the families very well... and I have no fear of my children sleeping over at their home. When kids sleep over at my home, I am on the "extremely cautious" side. My oldest will be having a large sleepover for his birthday this summer. My dd will have one for her 10th birthday (it will be a "Glamour Shots" party... nails, pedicures, maybe have the Mary Kay lady come over... get the hot rollers out, some dress-up costumes... and Photo Shoots with mom. Followed by... movies, popcorn, pizza, cupcakes & icecream until the wee hours of the morning. My son? We're planning an outdoors adventure with paintball and water balloon fights (capture the flag-style)... again with movies, popcorn, pizza, cupcakes & ice cream until the wee hours of the morning. Sleepovers can be a lot of good, clean, fun... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 We haven't hit the sleepover milestone yet, but when we do, I plan to allow them on a limited basis. My DC will only be allowed to sleep out at the homes of families that we know well & trust, and I will allow them at my home because I know (this is going to sound arrogant, but it's true) that I'm a better parent than my folks were. My mom was kept on a very short leash as a teen, and she rebelled against it hard, so she opted to parent in the other direction. I've seen the same results from both parenting styles, to be honest, so I'm going to try to find a middle ground. I want my kids to be parented so they don't feel the need to act out for attention, but I do not want to lock them in cages that they have to fight their ways out of. :iagree: My parents were very hands-off parents, both because they were young and a bit overwhelmed and because they opted to let me parent myself to a large extent. I think that worked out well for me, although it's not exactly how I'm going with my girls! But even so, I know that I didn't rebel more because I was able to tell my parents about the stupid things my friends were doing and the things I chose to do and they did not crack down on me. Those things held far less appeal because of that! We did have plenty of clean fun at slumber parties, even the ones where drinking happened. But yes, sleepovers will only happen at homes where I know the family very well and trust that their parenting style is like my own. I'll also be happy to host sleepovers, because I'm a night owl and will definitely be up watching, listening, and visiting :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 I wasn't the worst teenager ever, there were bad sleepovers (some parents thought it was cool to buy us alcohol and lie to our parents), but I always followed the letter of the law ;) Mom never said not to drink, she said I was not to leave ;) Dd is already a WAY better teen than either of her parents. I trust her. I am also very specific in what she is NOT to do. We had an issue with an adult that lied when she was 9 and after a midnight irate mother pick-up, that will not happen again. The adult refuses to even speak to me, and that makes me happy :D I suppose it was the threat of kidnapping and child endangerment charges. So, sleepovers are fine. I like my house peaceful every once in a blue moon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 (edited) We haven't allowed sleepovers before, but I am open to them with the right families and the right situations. I am not crazy about them (why do they call them sleepovers when there is very little sleeping going on?) but I can deal. ETA: I am OK with one-on-one sleepovers or just a small group, but not a big group - like a birthday party. The gang mentality tends to surface and makes the situation ripe for bullying. I would not want my children to be a victim, participant or bystander in those situations. Edited June 1, 2011 by dirty ethel rackham Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twilight Woods Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 No, I'm not changing how I do things. I never got into trouble at sleepovers. Probably because my parents did the same things we do now which is know the parents and families very well. We never slept over at people's houses my parents didn't know extremely well (most of the parents all went to high school together) and our girls don't sleepover at anyone's home we don't trust completely. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian (a lady) Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 If you have allowed sleepovers in the past, would you (or have you) put a stop to your kids' sleepovers based on horror-stories that other people have shared? My dd has sleepovers all the time with a couple of girls from church. One of them is an only child, and her mother's preferred method of having friends over seems to be marathon play-dates that include sleep-overs. But as they get older, I'm starting to realize the kind of trouble kids get into, and I'm starting to remember just how easy it was for us to sneak out when I was a kid.... I've only allowed sleepovers with a handful of families. They are families that I know really well, am friends with the moms, have spent hours and hours with, etc. The sort of people that are on my kids' emergency contact listings or with whom I would leave the kids if I had to be at the hospital. We don't do sleep overs with casual friends. I would still do sleep overs with these families, but I'm not in a huge rush to have more sleep overs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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