Activities outside the home...

[Heidi]

Note the age of my children. My oldest is taking piano right now; the teacher comes to our house, thankfully.

 

So my kids want to do gymnastics and dance because every other kid their age does, and I don't want to do it. I don't want to haul all my kids around in the evening to expensive 30 min. classes.

 

Why:

**because I have 3 soon to be 4 OTHER children that will be waiting in the lobby or the car during the class that I will have to keep happy.

**because DH comes home in the evening and that is when we spend time together as a family.

**because it will interfere with preparing and sharing dinner at home.

**because I'm pretty sure my cute, clumsy kids aren't going to grow up to be professional dancers or gymnasts. So who cares about lessons at 5 and 7 years old.

**because I don't buy into the "socialization" crap, that they NEED to go to classes to be socialized. They spend most afternoons playing with the kids around the neighborhood. They're good.

 

I don't mind spending the money and time to develop talents in my children, it just needs to be well spent, and I don't see dance and gymnastics at this age a good use of money and time. I know I may be in the minority on this (I was this evening around my peers), so for those of you that do think like me, if there are any ladies.. like... me...:001_huh:

 

...what do you mommas do who have a lot of kids? Surely you don't spend your evening driving to and from silly classes for your youngers, right? I would like to develop skills and talents that the whole family can participate in and that will serve them as adults and keep us together as a family. Any ideas?

 

ETA: for the next 3 years we will be living around nothing. No homeschooling anything. But just for three years.

Edited May 15, 2011 by hmsmith

[Mabeline]

Just have have to say I agree with you.

[enlarsh]

:iagree:

 

If you don't want to do it, then don't. It will only make your life crazy!

[----]

.

[momofkhm]

It doesn't help with the driving or even with the other kids in the lobby, but I found classes in the afternoon. You should be able to find homeschool classes as well that will fit the bill. Then maybe you can have more than one kid in the class?

 

But for those kids ages, no I wouldn't worry too much about outside classes. Socialization - they play with other kids, and you don't force them to do nothing right? Sunday school, clubs, play group at the park. Those all count.

[Emerkaza]

...what do you mommas do who have a lot of kids? Surely you don't spend your evening driving to and from silly classes for your youngers, right? I would like to develop skills and talents that the whole family can participate in and that will serve them as adults and keep us together as a family. Any ideas?

 

I spend a LOT of time driving. We joke about "car schooling". Over the years my kids have participated in numerous activities. AWANA, Dance, Karate, Fencing, Music Lessons, Community Theatre and Art Classes. Most have been in the evenings but some have been during the day. My 13 yr old daughter is a serious dancer and she goes to her dance school 3 nights a week and on Saturday. She also has piano lessons. My oldest son has guitar lessons and fencing 2-3 days a week. I can't wait until he gets his driver's license later this year. My 10 yr old son isn't interested in much of anything right now, so he just goes along for the ride sometimes.:rolleyes:

[regentrude]

I only have two kids - but at that age, I consider outside classes as highly overrated. We did not do any.

[gaillardia]

When we could afford it I enrolled four kids in gymnastics. (These were the four younger ones). Two were in one class and the other two in the other class, at the same time. There was a discount for more than one child in the same family. It was during the morning for homeschooled kids. We found that two of our children had a talent for it. We couldn't keep up with it, the expense, but it was a great experience for them all while enrolled.

We certainly didn't want to spend time running around in late afternoons or in the evenings for sports or classes and we never did.

Our piano teacher was compliant enough that lessons were right after school let out, sometimes it was during school hours, at her home.

We even had a county arts council that had various art classes held in the after school hours that didn't make it too difficult to attend. It was a little more costly than I thought it should have been...

Your area doesn't offer homeschool classes of any kind?

As young as your youngest are, and you're expecting, I totally understand not wanting to do the run around for kids' activities.

[Brooketopia]

Our kids are practically the same age...I just don't have a #5 on the way.

 

All the reasons you listed are very good reasons. I decided to not put my kids in stuff until they're older. Anything they can learn in classes from ages 3-8 they can pick up in a month when they're nine. Save the money, the time and the frustration and put your efforts into the things that matter the most...foundations and family.

 

(And just for giggles, I'll leave you with the idea of preschoolers in hot pants and ringlets, doing jazz hands...why do parents pay for their children to do that?)

[snickelfritz]

If you don't want to do it, don't.

 

But, around here, classes are an hour. And so common that I was usually able to find them concurrently. I did them, not for socialization (they shouldn't be talking to each other in class anyway) but for exercise. Gymnastics was great for upper body strength and flexibility. Dance was great for balance, flexibility, and rhythm. Yes, you can do that at home. But we enjoyed the classes, so we did them. Although, have to say dance recitals are HIGHLY overrated....and expensive.

 

We also did afternoon, instead of evening, so we were back about the time most people get off of work.

Edited May 15, 2011 by snickelfritz

[Heidi]

(And just for giggles, I'll leave you with the idea of preschoolers in hot pants and ringlets, doing jazz hands...why do parents pay for their children to do that?)

:lol:

[mamachanse]

:iagree:Totally. My parents ran us ragged with activities. We never had time to be....kids. I don't want my kids to go through that.

 

We found a homeschool gym class that my oldest two can do together and it is at a nice park where my toddler can play. It runs September-May. I lead our Earth Scouts group that all of my kids (except baby) participate in two Sundays per month. I have my children enrolled in one summer class each, but only because it's 115* here most of the summer and they need SOME activity. It's one day a week for the middles (same day) and two days for the oldest. If we lived where they could play outside I wouldn't bother. I despise lugging kids to and from activities. :tongue_smilie: That's more than enough for me.

[dlpardo]

I don't think you should haul them around to classes if you don't want to, but I disagree that the classes are pointless at this age. My son was scared to jump off a tiny 4 foot step or even a curb. Gymnastics has helped with his fear and you can't tell him apart from the other kids at the playground now. Also I have not verified any of this but I did read this

 

http://www.schoolmoves.com/pdf/techniquechart211.pdf

 

I don't disagree with your choice not to take them, but I don't think gymnastics is a waste either.

[shinyhappypeople]

If I were you, I'd let your oldest pick one. Does your parks & rec dept. have short-term sports camps? This year ours is offering week-long gymnastics, cheer, swimming, and... I can't remember what else. At least that way it wouldn't be in the evenings or year-round.

 

I think these types of activities are especially important for kids for are a little clumsy.

 

It's because both my kids are physically awkward and slow to pick up on things like that that I make their dance and gymnastics a priority. I'm of the opinion that a certain level of physical coordination and athleticism is important. No, they're not going to the Olympics. But they'll have a harder time fitting in socially if they haven't developed a reasonable amount of coordination and strength.

 

Just some food for thought. And, seriously, check out the short-term summer programs. It might help satisfy your child, without stressing you out all.year.long.

[GypsieFamily]

My kids used to do everything when they were your kids age. Everything had a good skill set it was developing, or an enjoyment factor. I would have been upset if one of my kids had decided to follow swimming/tennis/pottery/violin/ymnastics/dancing/drama/ etc as a career, but it was about those skill sets and developing interests and hobbies. The kids loved them.

 

So, we've been travelling for 1.5 years, and the kids haven't done a single activity. So what have they missed? Peter has missed none. Susan misses pottery terribly, but she still does it in her own time using mud and clay everywhere we go.

 

So, I'd recommend against it based on our experiences, but not for the reason that they won'tbe professional gymnasts/dancers, but rather that the kids have so much more time to play and develop their imagination and reading now.

[SonshineLearner]

After I had toted my daughter to ballet for 3 years... the ballet instructor said that 8 or so is a good age to start. We did Royal Academy of Dance, and the instructor let out that she started ballet at 12. SO, 9 or 10... if they really want to do it.. isn't too late. :) My husband is doing baseball for my son who is almost 8, but seriously, this is the first year it isn't just beyond crazy to watch.... He's finally hitting the ball. :)

[mazakaal]

When I had a baby and toddler, the only activity my older boys were in was swimming lessons. And I always arranged that around dh's day off so he could watch the littles. You absolutely DON'T need to take them to dance and gymnastics. They will be fine. Do what's best for your family right now. They can get into lessons when the littles are a bit bigger or if you can find a Saturday morning activity.

[Donna]

I am a "car schooler" as well. I spend a lot of time driving (put over 9000 miles on my new car in 3 months) and more than my mortgage on activities. We do what we are able to do. Each family has its own priorities and resources. What is right for one will not be right for another.

 

I have friends with larger families who allow each child to pick one activity a season...not expensive things but community recreational sports that are usually a little more reasonable. Others I know allow a sport and a musical activity per child. Then I have friends like you who cherish their time together as a family and see no need to enter the rat-race.

 

I think you have to do what is best for you. I wouldn't recommend my crazy life to anyone but we enjoy it...otherwise we wouldn't do it all.

[lllll]

...

[Stacy in NJ]

There's such a herd mentality with regards to these types of activities, as if you're neglecting your kiddos if you don't - nonsense.

 

That said, if you do choose to do something, consider an activity the whole family can do either together or at the same time like a martial arts or swimming. We use our local YMCA for many classes and I usually schedule classes for my boys at the same time. For example, at 5 pm on Thursdays, ds14 takes guitar and ds12 takes swimming. Convenient for me. :001_smile:

[LibraryLover]

Not if they don't want it, and not at that age. Except for music. I do think that should start in a gentle way by 6 or so.

 

Activities can be a lot of fun, but not all families want to this. However, all- too- soon your children will be older and will have passions. If they are good musicans, there will be extra classes and performances etc. If they love to dance, they will be dancing a few times a week etc. If they are artists, there will be classes, museum trips, art shows. Until they can drive, they will depend on us. of course, driving is a wonderful opportunity to listen to audio books, and now with our smart phones etc, we have access to quite a bit without hauling our book bags everywhere. ;) lol Bu What I am saying is that it won't kill you to wait on this! lol

 

If you do want some activites, you might find them in summer when they are offered during the day. Town swimming, summer library programs etc. Our swimming lessons were at the beach, so , not a bad way to pass a morning. lol Tennis was another good one...the younger kids could run around the playground. I also used to enjoy little kids and town soccer on Saturday. We got to be outside, the littles could run around, and we chatted with others in our area. I thought it was fun and community-building. We never participated in travel soccer...which I have heard is it's own heck.

 

I don't see fun activites with good people at age 5 or 7 as totally worthless, as it gets children outside & moving, and does build coordination & stregnth. But you don't need a class for that.

Edited May 15, 2011 by LibraryLover

[I.Dup.]

There's such a herd mentality with regards to these types of activities, as if you're neglecting your kiddos if you don't - nonsense.

 

 

I agree. I deal with a lot of guilt over the fact that I'm not running my kids around to all sorts of activities just because that seems to be what "everybody else is doing". But I think that's largely a western cultural thing.

 

I am mulling over the idea of swim lessons, eventually, (they are all pretty good at swimming already just from the play swimming we've done in the summers) and we will eventually do karate because their dad is passionate about it and it's something they can pretty much all do that together. We also have a piano teacher coming to the house. That is more than enough for me.

 

I pass by parents sitting on the sidelines all weekend at the local ball park and hear of parents running their kids around here and there and waiting during practices and lessons and with our family that is just not how we want to spend our time.

[Joyofsixreboot]

Just do what feels right for your family. I'm a person who likes to go, go, go and staying home bugs me. I can understand other people feeling the opposite.

[merry gardens]

I try to pick carefully what activities they do. We also have a piano teacher that comes to our home, and that's made it possible for my children to take piano lessons. Things like that work well for us.

 

It also helps to find activities that involve multiple children at the same time--preferably somewhere near to a grocery store (so I can run errands) and best if they happen in the afternoon, but not in the evenings.

 

Sometimes a short term commitment with higher intensity works out, then once the class, sport or activity is over, it's over.

[Starr]

It sounds like it would be difficult for you at this point in time. I would buy a dance class dvd and a tutu or two. :)

[jujsky]

I don't think you should haul them around to classes if you don't want to, but I disagree that the classes are pointless at this age. My son was scared to jump off a tiny 4 foot step or even a curb. Gymnastics has helped with his fear and you can't tell him apart from the other kids at the playground now. Also I have not verified any of this but I did read this

 

http://www.schoolmoves.com/pdf/techniquechart211.pdf

 

I don't disagree with your choice not to take them, but I don't think gymnastics is a waste either.

 

:iagree: and I want to add that dance isn't a waste either. If you don't want to do it, by all means don't. I would try to minimize waiting-room time with so many little ones too, but please don't paint it with a broad brush as though doing an activity at that age is a waste of time. The social, physical, and self-confidence benefits my daughter has gained from dance far outweigh the time and money I've spent.