fairfarmhand Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 My mom died in January. I've been trying to avoid the thought of Mother's Day without her for the past few weeks. I am dreading it. I bought a card for my dh's mom today. But it made me really sad that I can't buy her one. I know I can celebrate with my own kids...but I miss her. alot. She was a wonderful mother and I hope I can be just like her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted May 6, 2011 Author Share Posted May 6, 2011 :grouphug: My mother passed away at the end of May, 8 years ago. does it ever get any easier? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 ...She was a wonderful mother and I hope I can be just like her. You are very blessed to feel this way! It will get some better with the passing of time. I have a difficult time with Father's Day, but I do alright by remembering all the *happy* :). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bzymom Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 I just wanted to send you :grouphug: My mom also passed suddenly in January. I have been dreading this weekend, and now will probably have to put my dog down tomorrow to top it off. I know it does get better, as I lost my Dad years ago, but some days will always be harder than others. Take care of yourself, and I hope you find some comfort.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HollyBee Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 :grouphug: My mom passed away 22 years ago, when I was 16. It does get easier, but there is always a hole in your heart. It sounds like you had a great relationship, and that is so wonderful. Happy Mother's Day to you. Cherish your memories, and it's okay to cry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BamaTanya Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 3 years for me. The day-to-day has gotten easier. I miss her but I really really really focus on remembering the blessing she was and still is to my children and me. She's mentioned in our conversations often (maybe once every 2-3 days one of the children will mention something she did or said or I'll remember something). I try to steer them in a positive direction. "Yes, we miss her so much. Wasn't it wonderful that she loved us so? You know, you'll have that love in your heart your whole life!" Mostly the memories give me a little tug but they make me smile. But I still get blind-sided by a random thought or occurrence, too. Probably once every several months something will trigger a great wave of grief. It doesn't last long. I give in to it. Tell my husband. Or write about it. Give myself a few moments to cry. To miss her. I asked my husband (a counselor) about all this since he lost his mom 25 years ago. He says he doesn't get blindsided anymore but he did for years after his mother's death. For him it's become a loss without the acute waves of pain . . . My advice isn't professional, but I would give myself time to do whatever I feel is helpful and honoring of her memory. Set aside time to look through an album or visit the gravesite or make a familiar recipe or whatever . . . maybe it will comfort you and maybe it will hurt, so let it be what YOU pick and give yourself the time to feel whatever you feel and don't tell yourself what you should feel or what you should do . . . :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 I'm so sorry for all of you. It must be really tough to lose a parent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 (edited) :grouphug: I am a member of the Motherless Daughters Club, too. I lost my mom in January 1994. I still miss her every day. I cannot look at pictures of her without sobbing. She never knew my dh or my son. If I could be half the mother she was, I would be an awesome mom. I hate Hallmark for reminding me so keenly of the pain of losing her every single year. I hate them equally for reminding me that my dad is gone too every Father's Day. Edited May 6, 2011 by Audrey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Both my parents died when I was a teenager. And now both DH's parents are dead now, too. This will be his first Mother's Day without his mom. You'll be in my prayers. I hope you find a way to remember & celebrate your mom that is not too painful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted May 6, 2011 Author Share Posted May 6, 2011 :grouphug: I am a member of the Motherless Daughters Club, too. I lost my in January 1994. I still miss her every day. I cannot look at pictures of her without sobbing. She never knew my dh or my son. If I could be half the mother she was, I would be an awesome mom. I hate Hallmark for reminding me so keenly of the pain of losing her every single year. I hate them equally for reminding me that my dad is gone too every Father's Day. Because of the longevity of my mom's illness, none of my kids remember her being well. (my oldest has a couple slight remembrances) My youngest dd was stunned when I talked about my mom playing ball with us. "You mean Nana WALKED???" I hate it that my kids will never know her as I did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: I also lost my mom in January. This week has been ridiculously hard. I called my dad last night and we cried together for nearly an hour. I just miss her so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 My mom died in January. I've been trying to avoid the thought of Mother's Day without her for the past few weeks. I am dreading it. I bought a card for my dh's mom today. But it made me really sad that I can't buy her one. I know I can celebrate with my own kids...but I miss her. alot. She was a wonderful mother and I hope I can be just like her. I have really struggled with holidays since my parents passed away. At Christmas I was at my worst. I knew something had to change. For us, we have almost no family left - and that was also a part of my sadness. That coupled with ds19 having to share his time with his gf's family just kind of made it all too hard to take. For Easter I told dh that we needed to get out of the home, and we did. It was WONDERFUL!!! We had such a FANTASTIC time. Now I'm REALLY looking forward to Mother's Day because we're again going away for the day to do things I love to do. So my advice would be to be gentle on yourself and allow your grief. If it continues to make you dread holidays and special days, make new traditions. A friend of mine is who told me to do this, and she learned this after her husband died. Her new traditions made a huge difference. Our new traditions seem to be doing the same. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:I'm really sorry. I completely understand.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: My mom died suddenly in a horrible accident 3 years ago in June. Those first few holidays are so very hard. They're still hard, and yesterday would have been her birthday. It's okay to cry. Though it will get easier, you will always miss her and that's okay too. My dad died when I was 14, and I rarely cry over him anymore. Of course I still miss him too, but time is a great healer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 :grouphug: I'm sorry for all of you who are missing your moms :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakereese Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: I'm so sorry. Your mother sounds like she was just wonderful, and it is nice that you were so close. Maybe if you share some memories with her on Mother's day with your kids, it will help you remember some good times and you'll be sharing her with them. Your mother will now live through you. My grandma passed away in September, and she was like a mother to me. It has been so hard for me these past months, and Sunday will be another one of those "first holiday without her" times. I also felt sad when getting all the other mom cards ready to mail out. There should have been one for her. :( I'll be thinking of you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mosaicmind Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 :hug: to everyone mourning this weekend. I wasn't as blessed as some of you were until almost 2 years ago. I was spiritually adopted by my now mom and ever since I have been able to enjoy this weekend. I still grieve what I didn't have for all those years. I hope that for some here you can rejoice in this day for different reasons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 :grouphug: My mom has been gone almost five years, and Mothers' Day still hurts my heart. Yes, it gets better with time, but I don't expect it will ever be "okay". Only my oldest dd remembers the person my mom was before her stroke and decline. My ten year old remembers her...but only as a person in a wheelchair with dementia who scared him. My youngest kids dont' remember her at all. She was beyond words fabulous in every way. I will miss her and love her always. What happened to her (and to me and my kids and family) will never, ever be okay, I don't think. Love and hugs to the moms without moms this weekend. :grouphug: I don't even want to go to church... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 My mom has been gone for 8 years. The first Mother's Day without her I cried. A lot. My dad just died 2 weeks ago, so this year both holidays will be hard. It does get better, but I don't think it ever goes away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckymama Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 18 months since my mom died :grouphug: I sometimes cry in the grocery store when I see a woman with short gray hair from behind. I used to run into my mother in the store. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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