Dads of homeschoolers: Supportive at the start?

[Once]

I'm cheating and not reading the rest of the responses. Hopefully this encourages someone out here at some point.

 

My husband was not supportive at the beginning. My daughter had, what we now understand to be, sensory issues which she is beautifully growing out of. We had just moved and were out of town with one car. The kids and I were very isolated then and she was intense. I had talked about sending her to a half day of daycare an dmy husband was willing to try it at a fairly high cost. My husband would have had to get her out the door and be responsible to bring her home at lunch. I think he would have done it but in the morning he is not that high functioning so it would have been a struggle schedule wise.

 

I knew some homeschoolers growing up and some locally at the time. I started looking into Sonlight and found that their preschool for a year was the same price as a month of half day everyday preschool locally. So I asked him if we could take one month of that cost and put it toward the preK year at Sonlight. He looked at Sonlight and felt confident that someone could homeschool and still be educated in Science.

 

We have had may growing experiences and when I had three younger kids it was VERY hard on me. Many times I thought of throwing in the whole thing. We took it one year at a time.....no long term committments here. Gradually, as they have grown and I have learned what to press on with and what to let go. I have found myself more confident in this lifestyle. We do not always have excellent days but we have more good days than bad.

 

My daughter "started this" because of her intensity. My son, a nerdy Science guy that is less than 50 lbs, benefits from it. My last, 5 years old, will perhaps be better for it, too. My greatest challenges have forced us to all grow together and find a pace of life that brings out the best of us all.

 

It is a miracle when I think of it because my husband is now one of our greatest defenders of our homeschooling journey. He never asks me to go to work to make more money....he steps in to find other contracts. He never tells me to give up when I have a bad day.....he steps in to ask the kids what they still need to get done (even if all it is doing is keeping them accountable to him not me) When I face criticism or notice others judging us....he reminds me that it is working and that they are definately learning things even if perhaps not at the same pace or cycle of another child. He provides his support without critizing the local public schools so that if I have to send them there in the future it will not be hard on me.

 

I never would have thought we would have come this far but we have!!! God does changes the hearts of Kings!!!!

[i.love.lucy]

I'm so glad to hear these stories. If I could, I would be hsing right now. My DH is currently not on board but after watching what has happened to my little girl's spirit in first grade, he is reconsidering.

 

Try renting the movie "Waiting for Superman". That was a huge eye opener for me and really confirmed our decision from an academic standpoint.

 

In my case it was my dh's idea. He read a book by Ray Comfort that talked about discipling your children and the negative influences society (school) can have on them at that young age. He approached me about it. I was sort of like - I think it was Elegantlion who said - at first it was a great idea so I wouldn't have to get a job. I had worked all our marriage, lost a big job, then was working as a home daycare provider but that was winding down. By then he had a good job that could provide for us so we took the plunge. We've never been happier. I can't imagine the circumstances that would happen to chose to send them back to school.

[jujsky]

Mine was supportive from the beginning. I was afraid he wouldn't be as it is sort of a fringe thing to do, but when I told him I was considering it he was very open-minded. I did all the research on various schooling options, talked to him about the pros and cons of each, and we made the decision together. I do think it helped that he didn't attend American schools growing up and was horrified by many of the stories he heard from my family and me about public schools. Also, we live in the worst district in our city for some reason (nice neighborhood, bad district) so public school was quickly scratched off our lists of options.

[m0mmaBuck]

My husband pushed for homeschooling. I, on the other hand, fought for 2-1/2 years to keep DS in PS.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

We are conservative Christians living in California. When ds#1 was 6 months, we started hearing about new laws requiring certain things be mandatory to teach in ps that we REALLY disagreed with. And then we started remembering our own ps experiences. I looked around, and dh bought me WTM and The Well Educated Mind for Christmas. I read it and was convinced we could do it. I read parts to dh, and he said "Why weren't we taught this?" We looked at costs and realized we could save more money with me staying home than I could make working and paying for daycare, 2nd car, etc, and we haven't looked back since.:001_smile:

[Mommy22alyns]

I'm the one who initiated the homeschooling conversation here. DH was skeptical at the very beginning, but after some research and conversations, he came around pretty quickly. So he was on board by the time we actually started. And now he's even more gung-ho than I am! :D

[Murphy101]

My dh was the one to suggest home schooling and has always been 100% supportive and encouraging.

[Rosie_0801]

Hubby was against the idea to begin with but since I started researching when I was pregnant with #1 and she's only just turned four, I've had plenty of time to convince him! I started off by telling him lots of "hey, listen to this cool thing about homeschooling" and being all bouncy happy. He likes it when I'm bouncy happy, and I was not ashamed to use that to my advantage :D

 

He was teaching year 11 and 12 at the time, and was getting frustrated with the teaching to the tests he had to do, and the way the teachers were held responsible for students refusing to work. That all contrasted very nicely for my purposes with one of his students who had previously been homeschooled (Thanks, Love! We've never met, but I think you're great!) She was resourceful, had a work ethic and *gasp* well socialised. It was commonly known there were no good 7-10 schools in our town so he was on board for homeschooling high school with only a few months of persuasion.

 

But there were good primary schools so he didn't see why they shouldn't go there. I talked quite a bit about deschooling, and he didn't think it would be very good to be doing that in year 7, then spend months getting the hang of it all. So he quickly came around to my way of thinking that we might as well start in the beginning :D

 

Then when I found out #2 was a boy, I shook my fist in his face and told him we were definitely homeschooling now because schools aren't nice to boys and who knows what they'd do to him. The long suffering fellow took my fist out of his face and said "Haven't I already agreed to this?" "Well, yeah, but I was just checking..." :blushing:

 

Rosie

[Pax]

After posting to this thread last night, today I again approached my DH about homeschooling. He agreed that we would try it next year! I'm going to homeschool!!!!!!!

 

I've been pointing out the issues I see with ps and pointing out what we could be teaching our children at home, etc, on a regular basis lately. He has said once or twice that he would consider it but he wanted to see a detailed curriculum before he agreed. I've been researching like crazy and have picked up some ideas but am overwhelmed. But he is seeing how my daughter is being crushed by the school, her self-esteem is ebbing away, and he is seeing the cuts going to be made locally. All of that is combining to help change his mind. Also, we are going into it with a short term approach of taking it a year at a time.

[LMD]

It was DH's idea, he had to convince me at first.

 

He comes home from work shaking his head at stories other dad's allow their kids to put up with from schools, I often hear 'thank God we're homeschooling, xyz just told me that at his DC's school...' In fact, he told me the other day that I need to talk more about homeschooling to other people, because 'they need to be aware of what kids can do'

 

This is combined with a perfect mix of 'I trust you to choose the curriculum and do what's best for the kids'

:001_wub:

[sewingmama]

When I first mentioned it to my DH (a public school teacher) his comments were somewhere along the line of "Are you crazy, our kids will be.... "insert every homeschooling myth you ever heard" :glare:

 

But that was before his "precious princess" and "sensative genius son" were born. :D

 

When my DD reached school age I had very ill health and discussed with him what school we should enrol her in because I could barely get out of bed let alone homeschool.

 

This time his comments were "Are you crazy - I'm not putting her in school - I go there every day and I know what happens there and there is no way I am exposing her to that. Plus I thought you said you wanted to homeschool - you can't back out now" :D

 

I did put my DD in public Pre-K 3 days a week because of my health but fortunately I am much better now and so will be homeschooling for K.

 

My DH is super-supportive now - so much so that he said if I ever get sick again he will homeschool them himself when he gets home from work and on weekends :lol:

Edited April 15, 2011 by sewingmama

[8circles]

My husband was always supportive.

:iagree:Same here.

[DianeW88]

Yep, my dh has been supportive of homeschooling since we began 16 years ago. He has never wavered and has trusted me completely with all the decisions related to our kids' education.

[Forget-Me-Not]

My DH has always been on board with the idea. *I* was the one who needed to be convinced :D

 

We first started talking about it years ago before we had kids. Some friends of ours who had kids (albeit very young at the time) planned to homeschool. In fact their oldest is 12 and they're still HSing. I could see some merit to the idea, but thought HS kids were weird and plus it sounded like a TON of work. Still, I kicked around the idea, but my oldest went to PS for K and 1.

 

When my son was in kindergarten, I met another friend who was HSer (aforementioned friends now lived several states away). She was SO helpful. Sat down and did a huge consultation with me, lent me a bunch of books. One of them was "Dumbing us Down" which resonated with me heavily. I left it lying around the house and my husband picked it up, started reading it, and began using the phrase "WHEN we homeschool" instead of "IF we homeschool".

 

My son spent a good chunk of his first grade year as an unpaid teacher's aide and my daughter, who was rapidly approaching kindergarten registration, was *adamant* that she wanted to be homeschooled. Still I really struggled and contemplated and prayed. But when I finally jumped in headfirst and just went with it, I absolutely knew I was on the right track. We're finishing up our first year and I don't see ever putting them back into PS (barring some drastic change in our circumstances or something of course). We've really fallen in love with it here.

[Twilight Woods]

I had to work on my husband "sorta". LOL.

 

I wanted to pull DD out this past October. I did not have his support then so I decided fine.......and I will just watch the train-wreck happen.......and it was quite painful for all involved.

 

This past week after prayer and putting together a binder for him I now have his full support. PLUS our DD is an absolute mess from anxiety all from school so I think that has helped my cause as well. Im kicking myself for not pulling her out sooner.

 

So starting in June we will start homeschooling.

 

Karen

Mom to

Drew [9 but thinks she is 30]

Paige [5 and she rules the world]

[HS Mom in NC]

If you have a better idea of which approach or two are of most interest to you, you can focus on the different curricula that use that particular method and ignore the rest. Happy hunting!

Eight Different Approaches to Education in the Homeschool Community

Most homeschoolers use a combination of these approaches. Homeschooling is inherently flexible, so these approaches can be adapted and modified in any way the parent chooses. This is a bird's eye view making very broad generalizations.

 

 

===Traditional School Approach ===

Typically uses prepackaged curriculum with a Scope and Sequence educational philosophy. Their daily and yearly schedules usually follow the 6 hour days of institutional settings and a 180 day school year with the summer off, but many allow their children to work at their own pace and finish early. Grading systems like those used in traditional school settings are the norm and aged grades mimic schools. Textbooks and workbooks are their primary texts. Fill in the blank and multiple choice are characteristic of this crowd. Children are generally taught the same information around the same age and proceed along the same path, although some may do so faster or slower.

 

Think institutional school.

 

=== Unschooling Approaches A and B===

This is a broad term that applies to two distinct groups.

 

Group A

Generally believes children are wired for learning, and their job as teachers is to avoid interfering with the learning process. Their job is also to provide access to learning (books, lab equipment, etc.) guided by the child’s interests. They do not necessarily think children need to be “taught†outside of answering a child's questions. Real life, hands-on projects and applied learning experiences are strongly preferred to other methods of instruction. Some will allow children to take classes of interest in an institutional setting.

 

Think Thomas Edison and John Holt.

 

Group B

Designs every learning experience to answer the question, “When am I going to use this in real life?†by actually using almost exclusively real life, hands on, applied situations and projects. Only the real world here. They tend to be systematic and adult directed but are very careful to take additional time to follow a child’s interests some too.

 

===Unit Study Approach ===

Typically these people integrate studies based on an era, historical event, person, character trait, technological development, or historical person. For example, if the Depression is the core of the unit study, Math (if possible), Literature, Science (if possible), History, Economics, and Writing will hinge on different elements of the Great Depression or scientific developments during the Depression Era. This gives the student multidimensional understanding. Each child is given different assignments based on ability, but all study the same core theme.

 

 

===Living Books Approach ===

Only the best literature and writings at the child's level on each subject are used. Think of it this way, instead of reading from a distilled over simplified textbook on the Civil War, these teachers have their students read several of the books about the Civil War that an author of a textbook would read preparing to write the textbook. This crowd is also known for nature studies, narration, dictation, and copywork.

 

Think Charlotte Mason.

 

===Classical Education===

Classical education has at least three distinct camps. They can be integrated as much as the teacher prefers. They all have a strong preference for first source materials and use primarily Western Classics (Also called the Western Canon, or the Common Book of the Western World.) Some can include the study of "dead" languages (Hebrew, Classical or Biblical Greek, and Latin) although some are content with good English translations of Classic works while others opt for studies of Latin and Greek Roots in English.

 

Group A

Characterized by the Trivium. The 3 stages have many terms:

 

1.Stage 1 Grammar (facts) Memorization is used at this stage.

 

2.Stage 2 Logic (cause and effect) All stages of formal Logic inductive, deductive, etc.

 

1. Stage 3 Rhetoric (application.) Formal Aristotelean argumentation is usually studied. (Sorry, should be 3. but the automatic formatting won't let me move this.)
   
   

 

Formal Logic and Rhetoric are studied specifically. History is usually studied chronologically. Logic is studied formally, and Science is studied with both experimentation, biographies, and original writings of the greatest minds. Classic works from masters throughout Western Civilization in all Eras are studied. Some integrate History, Geography, Science and Literature into a more unit study approach.

 

Think Dorothy Sayers.

 

Group B

Characterized by the Mentor Model and sometimes called a "Statesmen" education. Morals, virtue, and character are emphasized above all.

 

 

 

 

1. In the early years children are allowed to follow their interests and learn good character and right and wrong while developing a strong work ethic.
   
2. The middle years are when a teacher begins inspiring students by reading and discussing classic works by the best minds on the subjects.
   
3. The later years the students are mentored in apprenticeships in entrepreneurial situations for their future leadership roles and professional pursuits.
   

 

Think Thomas Jefferson.

 

 

Group C

Also known as the Principle Approach. This is a method often attributed to how many of the Founders were educated.

 

Research the topic

 

1.Look up the ideas.

a. first source materials (original writings, documents, autobiographies, first hand historical accounts, etc.)

b. look up terms in dictionary (keeping in mind dictionaries that are specific to the era)

c. look up terms in your sacred writings or other sources related to your beliefs (Christians-Bible)

 

2. Summarize the material.

3.Reason through the material looking for the underlying principles.

4.Relate the information you have found through research and reason and apply it to your life.

5. Record your findings in a logical, systematic, and persuasive format.

 

Think James Madison.

[HS Mom in NC]

Did your husband insist on seeing a detailed curriculum from the ps before he allowed your child(ren) to be educated there?

[Impish]

Dh was very, very supportive from day one. I love listening to him tell people about homeschooling, he is so happy that we made that decision.

Wolf's exactly the same.

[kristavws]

My dh has always been supportive.