Is it crazy to offer free summer daycare...

[Cindyz]

for a boy around my son's age so that he will have a summer play mate?

 

My son is 6 years old and an only child. We live about an hour from family, and we live in the country with no neighbors to play with. My son is very social and really enjoys spending time with other kids and frankly needs the practice doing so. All of his time with other kids is pretty well structured. I'm really worried about him being lonely this summer. His only structured activity for the summer will be soccer, and we haven't really connected with anyone in the area for regular play dates.

 

So I was thinking about making an ad on Craigslist offering free daycare several days a week during the summer for a boy my son's age (6-7) so they could play.

 

My husband and I are self employed and home most of the time, and this wouldn't interfere with our schedule. When one of us is working, the other is working with, playing with or supervising our son. The mornings would probably be mostly me supervising, and the afternoons would be mainly my husband supervising. He would mostly be doing yard work on our 5 acres while the boys ride bikes, play basketball, play on the swingset, etc.

 

I would ask that the child come with a packed lunch, drinks (if they want anything beyond water) and two snacks, and maybe $25/week just to cover a few extra basics.

 

So does this seem crazy?

[Chris in VA]

Well, not crazy, but how about hosting a Fresh Air Fund (or similar charity) child instead? :001_smile:

[Cindyz]

That sounds interesting. I will google to find out what that is!

[Tranquility7]

Great idea, actually, but personally, I'd never do something like that through craigslist. But that's just me...

 

If it were me, I'd probably ask around through homeschooling groups or churches or something and try to find a single mom who has a child who will be out of school for the summer. She might be super blessed to have free (or mostly free) childcare for the summer, rather than have to pay for an alternative program. So it could be win-win...

[Cindyz]

Bummer! It looks like it's only on the East Coast.

[Cindyz]

Great idea, actually, but personally, I'd never do something like that through craigslist. But that's just me...

 

If it were me, I'd probably ask around through homeschooling groups or churches or something and try to find a single mom who has a child who will be out of school for the summer. She might be super blessed to have free (or mostly free) childcare for the summer, rather than have to pay for an alternative program. So it could be win-win...

 

 

That's a good idea. I am part of several home school mail lists. I will start there.

[fairfarmhand]

Great idea, actually, but personally, I'd never do something like that through craigslist. But that's just me...

 

If it were me, I'd probably ask around through homeschooling groups or churches or something and try to find a single mom who has a child who will be out of school for the summer. She might be super blessed to have free (or mostly free) childcare for the summer, rather than have to pay for an alternative program. So it could be win-win...

 

 

or possibly you could swap off care with another at home mom, giving both of you a little break...

[Dobela]

I would do it by word of mouth, not post it publically. I would only want a child that comes from a faimly with good reputation, more or less, so I won't be taken advantage of.

 

And while it sounds great, I would have concerns about liability issues.

[lmrich]

I would approach another family with a boy you already know. It would be awful if the kid you took in was... well you can imagine the horrors.

 

I would not use Craig's list.

[Satori]

I don't think it's crazy. I wouldn't do it on Craiglist, as we have a local mom's email list for us remote mountain people. I've jumped at the chance to babysit for free (even overnights) people's children around my daughter's age. We've met some really cool families this way!

 

Bummer about Fresh Air being East Coast only. I saw that on someone's sig and excitedly told my husband about it. I'd love to do that...

[RahRah]

I wouldn't do it myself - with free, from a post on CraigsList, you potentially will have a kid the parent can't control and will dump on your first opportunity they have. Also, what if your child and they don't get along?

 

My DS, also six, was an only until January - a very social kid, loves playing with others, yet we are in a rural setting too, few neighbors, no kids to play with his age.

 

We find things to do that involve other kids.....last summer he did a couple of summer camps, made some friends there, we had them over and still do; we joined a swim club (pool) and spent a good amount of time there, he made friends, we had them over, still do; we went to the park when the weather wasn't crazy-hot, we invited a couple of the friends he did have over for playdates and they us throughout the summer, and we traveled some.

 

If you take a child in for daycare, how will that impact your flexibility to do things throughout the summer with your child and family? Are there other things you can do, with the same end result - playmates - without feeling like you need to take care of someone else's child so yours has a playmate?

[SailorMom]

Only do this for someone you know well. I hate to be a cynic, but you are really putting yourself out there legally. This is horrid, but it has happened, what if they try to accuse you of some sort of abuse to get attention or money?

DO NOT go off of Craigslist.

[Dawn in OH]

Only do this for someone you know well. I hate to be a cynic, but you are really putting yourself out there legally. This is horrid, but it has happened, what if they try to accuse you of some sort of abuse to get attention or money?

DO NOT go off of Craigslist.

 

I agree.

 

Personally, I wouldn't do it for free, but I might do it for a very low rate.

[5LittleMonkeys]

First, I will say that I think it could be a really great thing for your son and provide someone else the peace of mind knowing their child is being well cared for during the summer.

 

However, if you pursue this please make sure you get medical information and have the parents sign a release allowing you to provide or seek medical care as you see fit in the case of an emergency. Make sure your homeowners insurance will cover medical costs if the child were to get injured in your home\on your property. Make sure you get some type of references regarding the parents (I say this because I babysat for some people I didn't know...turns out they were abusing the child, which I suspected but wasn't positive...they took the child to the doctor for allergies...doctor asked about all the bruising...they said I did it...DCS showed up at my house...very scary.) Also set clear boundaries for drop off and pick up times, expectations of behavior, and make sure they are clear on what types of consequences will be set forth for undesirable behavior.

 

I know those are all things that everyone assumes they won't need to worry about but trust me when I tell you those safeguards are more important than anything else when providing care for someone else's dc. I don't say all these things to scare you...odds are your experience will be wonderful...just protect yourself and your family first.

[5LittleMonkeys]

Only do this for someone you know well. I hate to be a cynic, but you are really putting yourself out there legally. This is horrid, but it has happened, what if they try to accuse you of some sort of abuse to get attention or money?

DO NOT go off of Craigslist.

 

I was typing my post and didn't see this. This is exactly what happened to me. Protect yourself ... make sure you know who you are dealing with.

[Teachin'Mine]

Good advice already given. I'd also present it as something short term, instead of saying it will be all summer, so if a particular child isn't a positive to have around, you have an easy out. I'd also consider doing a half day instead of a full day. That may not work if both parents are working, but it should if they homeschool. It's good to have down time too.

[Cindyz]

Good things to think about! I really appreciate all of the suggestions, thoughts and ideas. The liability factors do worry me.

 

Part of the problem is that my son is very social and my husband and I are not. We don't avoid getting to know people at my son's activities, but we just haven't been able to build anything lasting from them. We hooked up with one boy from my son's soccer and had him over, but that didn't continue because the parents didn't want to drive all the way out to our house to drop him off, etc. It also seems that most families have more than one child or tons of friends and neighbors to play with already so they really aren't all that motivated to go out of their way to get the kids together. It's been really frustrating and it's starting to make me depressed that my son doesn't have any friends that he can play with outside of our regular structured activities. During the school year he has lots of friends and interactions with other kids but it's all structured, and doesn't transcend outside of these activities.

[Cindyz]

I was typing my post and didn't see this. This is exactly what happened to me. Protect yourself ... make sure you know who you are dealing with.

 

Out of curiosity, do you mind sharing what happened to you? I understand if you don't want to do so.

[FriedClams]

I wouldn't take on a long term commitment. Last thing you need is a kid that doesn't listen, doesn't get along with your kid and 3 months of childcare you can't get out of - all for fun and playtime.

 

There are loads of ways to get that social need met - library story time and activities, camps, the local playground, theater group, church activities, summer rec sports, swim lessons or a pool membership, scouts (and scout camp - usually FUN and cheap).

 

We love in PODUNK and all these ideas are options for us. For me - the number one idea would be Cub Scouts. We have been doing it for a little over a year and it's been wonderful. There are lots of interested, involved parents, the boys are great and we have a great mix of kids from public, private and homeschooling. We are doing a huge membership drive for the summer - so please don't think that because you didn't join through the school year you're behind. April is usually when the boys go up a rank - so joining now gets your son ready for working on advancement for the whole next year. Camp is a great way to get lots of things done for rank and have a blast.

[5LittleMonkeys]

Out of curiosity, do you mind sharing what happened to you? I understand if you don't want to do so.

 

Well, they came and asked a lot of questions about the little boy and whether I ever noticed the bruises and how often he had them, they also asked if I felt he was well cared for at home. I tried to be truthful without blatantly saying that they were abusing him...because I didn't know for a fact that they were. They asked me if I had ever hit him. Then they wanted to speak to my dc to ask them if they had ever seen me hit him or if I had ever hit them, to which they replied no to each question. Then they said that until they determined the truth it would be best if I wasn't left alone with my dc. They wanted me to be supervised by another person(could be an adult family member) during the day and to spend the night at a friend or relative's house. I refused to do either unless they could show some proof that I had ever harmed that child or my own. They didn't press the issue. I asked if they were pressing charges against me for anything and they said they would have to get back to me. I called every couple of days for two weeks and they told me they hadn't made any determinations yet. Then finally I called one day and they said that it was all cleared up and that I was cleared of any wrong doing.

 

It was all very strange and surreal, but very scary to have two uniformed police officers and a DCS person standing in my house asking my dc, without me in the room, whether or not I ever hit them. I don't know if the whole ordeal was handled the way it should have been or not...I suspect it wasn't.

 

I never heard from those people again. I don't know what ever happened to that little boy. I asked the DCS during my last call if he was alright but they wouldn't tell me anything, I didn't think they would.

 

So, that's the whole sorted story. I do babysit for friends now but will never, never babysit for anyone I don't know unless someone I know really well can vouch for them.

[Tap]

I would only borrow a child that you knew or had a connection to. I would also only do it for a set amount of time ie, two weeks or one month, to see how they get along. The family may make commitments based on your offer, and then you could get stuck with a kid that your child didn't like or play nice with. Not all 6yo boys like the same things.

[lcelmer]

I would approach another family with a boy you already know. It would be awful if the kid you took in was... well you can imagine the horrors.

 

I would not use Craig's list.

 

:iagree:

 

 

You might want to rethink the term daycare, but instead arrange several all-day play dates per week...

[Remudamom]

You're asking for inconvenience at the best and trouble at the worst. There's got to be a better way for your son to have company.

 

I've taken kids on and off when mine were younger and only once was it great for both of us. The other times I had to deal with bad behavior, grandparents that didn't want their grandchildren homeschooled and scheduling problems.

[RahRah]

Good things to think about! I really appreciate all of the suggestions, thoughts and ideas. The liability factors do worry me.

 

Part of the problem is that my son is very social and my husband and I are not. We don't avoid getting to know people at my son's activities, but we just haven't been able to build anything lasting from them. We hooked up with one boy from my son's soccer and had him over, but that didn't continue because the parents didn't want to drive all the way out to our house to drop him off, etc. It also seems that most families have more than one child or tons of friends and neighbors to play with already so they really aren't all that motivated to go out of their way to get the kids together. It's been really frustrating and it's starting to make me depressed that my son doesn't have any friends that he can play with outside of our regular structured activities. During the school year he has lots of friends and interactions with other kids but it's all structured, and doesn't transcend outside of these activities.

 

So within the structured days now, he has friends to play with....can you talk to the parents and set-up some type of arrangements for the kids to continue to interact and play over the summer? Maybe not going out to your place, but places like parks, library, rec center, etc. where they could get time to play and have some fun?

 

Does your area have a Y or other type facility you might be able to use to set up a place where, once a week, you and other parents with kids in the rural setting can gather for the kids to play for a few hours? Parks with picinic shelters to have a potluck playdate? A trail system to have the kids do a nature hike or other activity, like a bike ride, together?

 

I totally get the not clicking with the other parents thing - our DS is a total social butterfly, me, not so much...DH now and then, but not so much.....but, now and then, here and there, we do meet other families that we like and that we're able to establish a relationship with and have the kids get together. DS loves to play with other kids....sometimes I like the parent, sometimes I tolerate 'em for the sake of DS - it's not that they're bad or anything, just not much in common, ya know? I don't think DS needs tons of friends - just some - with some variety.....and that's what I try for, not a huge number, not oodles and oodles, not a constant, never without someone to play with thing - because it's also good, I think, for DS to learn to play on his own, entertain himself and be with himself and his own imagination too!

[Cindyz]

Well, they came and asked a lot of questions about the little boy and whether I ever noticed the bruises and how often he had them, they also asked if I felt he was well cared for at home. I tried to be truthful without blatantly saying that they were abusing him...because I didn't know for a fact that they were. They asked me if I had ever hit him. Then they wanted to speak to my dc to ask them if they had ever seen me hit him or if I had ever hit them, to which they replied no to each question. Then they said that until they determined the truth it would be best if I wasn't left alone with my dc. They wanted me to be supervised by another person(could be an adult family member) during the day and to spend the night at a friend or relative's house. I refused to do either unless they could show some proof that I had ever harmed that child or my own. They didn't press the issue. I asked if they were pressing charges against me for anything and they said they would have to get back to me. I called every couple of days for two weeks and they told me they hadn't made any determinations yet. Then finally I called one day and they said that it was all cleared up and that I was cleared of any wrong doing.

 

It was all very strange and surreal, but very scary to have two uniformed police officers and a DCS person standing in my house asking my dc, without me in the room, whether or not I ever hit them. I don't know if the whole ordeal was handled the way it should have been or not...I suspect it wasn't.

 

I never heard from those people again. I don't know what ever happened to that little boy. I asked the DCS during my last call if he was alright but they wouldn't tell me anything, I didn't think they would.

 

So, that's the whole sorted story. I do babysit for friends now but will never, never babysit for anyone I don't know unless someone I know really well can vouch for them.

 

 

Wow! Just wow!! That is very scary. I'm glad it turned out ok for you.

 

Ok, I'm convinced now that this was in fact a crazy idea. I'm glad I posted here first. :D

 

Hopefully we'll make some new contacts this summer through soccer. Maybe I'll try making a general post on the area yahoo mail list looking for play dates too.

 

I often see some boys my son's age playing in a field about a half mile down the road and I keep thinking about stopping my car and talking to the parents, but I have NO idea what to say. I don't want them to think that I'm looking for a place to drop off my son (far from it) or feeling like they have to entertain me while I hang out watching them play. So, I just drive by wistfully watching them have a great time and not knowing how to approach them.

[RahRah]

Wow! Just wow!! That is very scary. I'm glad it turned out ok for you.

 

Ok, I'm convinced now that this was in fact a crazy idea. I'm glad I posted here first. :D

 

Hopefully we'll make some new contacts this summer through soccer. Maybe I'll try making a general post on the area yahoo mail list looking for play dates too.

 

I often see some boys my son's age playing in a field about a half mile down the road and I keep thinking about stopping my car and talking to the parents, but I have NO idea what to say. I don't want them to think that I'm looking for a place to drop off my son (far from it) or feeling like they have to entertain me while I hang out watching them play. So, I just drive by wistfully watching them have a great time and not knowing how to approach them.

 

Stop and introduce yourself! You all live in a rural area - simply say, hey, I've driven past a number of times and see your kids out playing and thought I'd stop - we're neighbors - to say hello, I'm Cindyz, nice to meet you! If they don't seem too receptive, say well nice meeting you, maybe our boys will bump into each other in town/at activities, have a good one....but, they might be receptive to meeting someone nearby! You don't know unless you stop and say hello!

[Dobela]

What are other activities you are interested in? Your son is now old enough for 4H. In our area some of the groups are very, very active. If he has a particular farm animal interest (I am assumming you have land or a farm), then he could do 4H and joing groups for the different animals - Poultry Clubs, Goat Clubs...there are several in yahoo groups when I was looking recently for myself and some information. If you find groups like that where the parents and kids share the same interests, you are more likely to find what you are looking for. My dh and I don't reach out for friends either. We are happy homebodies like you sound. Our children are very social though and I understand the difficulty. We have found that by going thru 4H and similar we are at least finding families that we can have a conversation with about a topic we are both interested in.

[5LittleMonkeys]

Stop and introduce yourself! You all live in a rural area - simply say, hey, I've driven past a number of times and see your kids out playing and thought I'd stop - we're neighbors - to say hello, I'm Cindyz, nice to meet you! If they don't seem too receptive, say well nice meeting you, maybe our boys will bump into each other in town/at activities, have a good one....but, they might be receptive to meeting someone nearby! You don't know unless you stop and say hello!

 

 

I agree completely with this! Although I know that its easier said than done if you are a bit shy.

 

For what its worth I grew up in the country with no one else to play with in the summer. I have incredible memories of playing and pretending all day long; lost in my own imagination with no one to interrupt exactly the way I wanted my adventures to unfold. I still to this day have an incredible imagination and still enjoy having time to myself to indulge my daydreams. Even with my own dc I make sure that they all have quite a bit of time to play alone so that they get to experience the pleasure of getting into their own heads and being comfortable there. Does that make sense?...I don't know how else to explain it. Best wishes for you both!

[Joanne]

Yes.

[kalanamak]

Great idea, actually, but personally, I'd never do something like that through craigslist. But that's just me...

 

If it were me, I'd probably ask around through homeschooling groups or churches or something and try to find a single mom who has a child who will be out of school for the summer. She might be super blessed to have free (or mostly free) childcare for the summer, rather than have to pay for an alternative program. So it could be win-win...

 

:iagree:

[elegantlion]

I did this one summer for one of my son's good friends. I was approached by the parents and was paid. They were both only children and about 7 or 8. It was an experience. They knew each other well, I knew the parents well, but there were many days I was glad I was getting paid.

 

Playdates are easier. I would have done it again for this family, but never for someone I didn't know.

 

Part of the issue was the only child dynamic. They were both used to being top dog and had similar personalities. We worked it out by the end of the summer.

 

Could you host something at your house? A little festival, an end of year bash. Invite some families, not just kids. Then people can get to know you too.

 

We're self-employed and dh works alone most of the time and I'm an introvert. I understand getting to know people.

[Doodle]

for a boy around my son's age so that he will have a summer play mate?

 

My son is 6 years old and an only child. We live about an hour from family, and we live in the country with no neighbors to play with. My son is very social and really enjoys spending time with other kids and frankly needs the practice doing so. All of his time with other kids is pretty well structured. I'm really worried about him being lonely this summer. His only structured activity for the summer will be soccer...

 

I need you! Can you move? Doodle is 6, an only child, and very social. I keep trying to think of places we can go to help him connect with other boys and make some friends. He is involved in karate and has made one friend there. We struck out with the local homeschool group and cub scouts.