Am I pushing my kindergartner too hard?

[mellie]

My daughter is in full day kindergarten, and I started teaching her reading myself outside of school, as they seemed to be doing mainly sight word learning, and I felt she could move along faster than was happening at school. My husband and I read voraciously, and my daughter has been read to every day since being born. I started off using Jolly Phonics, and have then switched to using The Ordinary Parents Guide to reading. She can read many of the Bob books, yet she FIGHTS like a dog every time I tell her it is time to practice reading. This has been going on for months, and I am starting to wonder if I should just back off.

 

She is actually pretty good at sounding out words, but just doesn't want to do it. She has now started telling me that several kids in her class are bringing in chapter books/Dr Seuss books to read to the rest of the kids in the class, and informed me that I am not teaching her to read fast enough as she can't do that. I know I shouldn't compare her with others in the class, but I don't want her to feel that she is not a good reader at this young stage, but getting her to practice is a nightmare. Anyone been through this?

[lionfamily1999]

I have not been through this, but I do know that at a certain point in phonics Dr. Suess becomes doable. We use Bob books (and OPG), but I also hunt around the library for easy books. Maybe it's time to shake it up a bit with some non-Bob books.

[SEP]

Try the level 1 Green Light Readers at the library. She will feel like she's reading a book.

 

i would back off for a week or so and then instead of saying that you are going to 'practice' reading, just say, 'Let's read!' You could start reading the book and see if she wants to give it a try.

 

i would set a timer for 10 mins. if she wants to stop then, let her. if she wants to keep going, sigh and say, "okay...five more..." even though you are smiling inside.

[snickelfritz]

Are you doing it on weekdays? Does she have homework? ( some schools here do homework in K and some don't.) After a full day at school, maybe she is just done?

 

Some ideas:

-Do it on weekends

-Save it for summer

-Do it on weeknights, but keep it varied. Use chalk outside, make games of it.

-Give her a nice long break, snack, outside time, physical exercise, etc.... between school and the "home" work.

- Use the sticker chart like someone suggested. I used a paper chain for my dd, when she balked at reading books. For each small book or 15 minutes ( or whatever small goal is appropriate) she got a link to the chain. We hung it from her ceiling.

[Dmmetler]

On the lines of what Heigh Ho mentioned, there's a series called "I read, you read", which has a format where the parent reads a more involved passage, and then the child reads 1-2 sentences on the same topic, from the same book. It's a nice jump to help the child feel like they're reading more interesting, involved text while still staying at the level they can handle.

 

I'd also suggest looking at Margaret Hillert's books. There are a few on Starfall, but she wrote hundreds, all simple, easily decodable. My DD went through a phase where she read many, many of these, excited because she was reading books. The fact that each book might have had one new word in it compared to the prior ones was irrelevant.

[Word Nerd]

My kindergartener (age 5) is reading at about the middle of third grade level. I haven't pushed her to do this at all. I think that for the most part, when a kid is ready to read, she will. Once she was ready to read beyond BOB Books and similar CVC readers from her school library, her reading really took off because she saw books she wanted to read and dove in. Her school uses a combination of sight words and a phonics program in K (and through 3rd grade), as I did when I was homeschooling my older daughter for K, and it has worked really well for her. She does know a lot of sight words, and she uses phonics to "stretch" words she doesn't know. The leveled readers seem to vary by publisher—what's a Level 2 in one series may be equivalent to a Level 1 or a Level 3 in another. If we come across a book she's interested in reading but isn't quite ready for, I read it to her, help her as needed, or we alternate reading the pages together.

 

Maybe if you pointed your DD to the section of the library with books at about her level and let her choose which books she wants to read, she wouldn't resist so much? I keep my daughter's books (from our personal library and the public library) on a low shelf in our living room, so she has free access to them whenever she wants. I don't push her to read at a certain time, but sometimes I remind her that we have books that need to be checked back in soon or mention that now would be a good time to read together. We also keep a list of books she's read or that I've read to her, which we turn in to the teacher at the end of the month, and seeing the list of books get longer also motivates her.

[NanceXToo]

I would not force any additional reading "practice" or anything else academic that she doesn't want to do. She's only five and she's already spending HOURS sitting at a desk all day in school. K in school is no fun anymore. When my daughter went, they only had a 15 minute recess and "Silent Lunches" and half the time they were losing some or all of that recess for talking too much in the classroom. It was a very academic day, and they even brought home homework.

 

The very last thing my daughter would want to do when she came home from such a long boring day was more schoolwork. And the last thing I wanted to do was enforce it. It was her time/our family time, school time was over.

 

She needs to have as much time as possible, IMHO, to just run, play, be a kid, explore her own interests... not sit down for more academic stuff. Unless it's something she's loving and begging to do for fun, I absolutely would back off. Just let her be a kid when school's out, they don't get enough of that "kid"/fun time in school anymore these days.

[mich311e]

How about offering an incentive? We didn't use OPGTR but we used Hooked on Phonics which comes with a poster and stickers. At the halfway point my son would get a small incentive like going out to ice cream. At the finishing point my son would earn a trip to a museum of his choice - which he loved! He was very motivated to get his stickers and earn his prizes.

 

We're almost through with Phonics Pathways now, we have about 30 pages left. So I told my son he earns a trip to the aquarium when we're through. He did 2 pages of Pathways before school today! He's excited to finish!

[blessed2fosteradopt]

Maybe its the curriculum. As much as it pains me to say it, my daughter, age 4.5, cries every time I take out OPGTR. I have Hooked on Phonics K and 1 (both were given to me) and decided to try that with her. It has made all the difference. She loves the books and the sticker chart. We are finishing up K right now and are moving into Grade 1. I also follow her lead with regard to lessons and more often than not, she is the one who instigates a lesson.

[wapiti]

Just a thought, has she had her vision checked lately? Sometimes vision issues make reading a task to be avoided. (By vision issues, I mean how the eyes work together, not just 20/20 www.covd.org).

[Mrs_JWM]

My 5-y-o K'er just started taking out little board books from the library. She loves the small size. Somehow, they're less intimidating.

[Persephone]

I for one kept doing afterschooling reading lessons with my dd despite her resistance. She had loved looking at books and listening to books being read, up until the middle of (half-day) kindergarten when she realized she wasn't learning to read like the other kids in her class. Then books became something she avoided. When I researched the situation and discovered the sight-word and context-clue approach at school, I started teaching her at home.

 

I figured 15 minutes/day of hard work is a small price to pay for learning to read well. (I have since learned that the time needed to remediate older struggling readers grows significantly each year.) I gave her small rewards for her effort, but that didn't really sweeten the pot for her. It felt like such slow going at first, but within 6 months she was reading better than most of her classmates and the gap continues to widen as the years pass. I stopped formally teaching her after 9 months, but required a certain amount of time reading each day. I feel I gave her a gift that can never be taken away. Oh, I had heard and read that "forcing it" would turn her off to reading, but I figured better a fully competent reader with a less-than-impressive interest in reading than a child (or adult) with an interest in reading, but not the ability. Besides, she was turned off initially by her lack of skill compared to peers.

 

Now I tutor students in 3rd grade and above whose teachers and parents kept thinking the reading would improve "naturally" if they just waited for awhile. Well, maybe for some, but the research states that this is rare.

For homeschooled children, there isn't a need to rush, but for students who are in a school which teaches words as wholes and teaches students to "look at the first letter and then think what makes sense," I would work hard to overpower that approach with an explicit, systematic phonics program at home. I see far too many students in schools like one upper elementary boy who recently looked wistfully at a friend reading Harry Potter: "I wish I could read that!"

 

It took quite awhile for the love of books to return to my dd, but meanwhile she was able to read her homework assignments without help from me, read the name of any place on a map, and I knew for sure that she wouldn't be stumped by any Social Studies or Science texts assigned in the future. As soon as she reached the ability to read true literature (James and the Giant Peach) in third grade, she suddenly became hooked.

 

Signed,

No Regrets for "Pushing"

[Katrina J]

I for one kept doing afterschooling reading lessons with my dd despite her resistance. She had loved looking at books and listening to books being read, up until the middle of (half-day) kindergarten when she realized she wasn't learning to read like the other kids in her class. Then books became something she avoided. When I researched the situation and discovered the sight-word and context-clue approach at school, I started teaching her at home.

 

I figured 15 minutes/day of hard work is a small price to pay for learning to read well. (I have since learned that the time needed to remediate older struggling readers grows significantly each year.) I gave her small rewards for her effort, but that didn't really sweeten the pot for her. It felt like such slow going at first, but within 6 months she was reading better than most of her classmates and the gap continues to widen as the years pass. I stopped formally teaching her after 9 months, but required a certain amount of time reading each day. I feel I gave her a gift that can never be taken away. Oh, I had heard and read that "forcing it" would turn her off to reading, but I figured better a fully competent reader with a less-than-impressive interest in reading than a child (or adult) with an interest in reading, but not the ability. Besides, she was turned off initially by her lack of skill compared to peers.

 

Now I tutor students in 3rd grade and above whose teachers and parents kept thinking the reading would improve "naturally" if they just waited for awhile. Well, maybe for some, but the research states that this is rare.

For homeschooled children, there isn't a need to rush, but for students who are in a school which teaches words as wholes and teaches students to "look at the first letter and then think what makes sense," I would work hard to overpower that approach with an explicit, systematic phonics program at home. I see far too many students in schools like one upper elementary boy who recently looked wistfully at a friend reading Harry Potter: "I wish I could read that!"

 

It took quite awhile for the love of books to return to my dd, but meanwhile she was able to read her homework assignments without help from me, read the name of any place on a map, and I knew for sure that she wouldn't be stumped by any Social Studies or Science texts assigned in the future. As soon as she reached the ability to read true literature (James and the Giant Peach) in third grade, she suddenly became hooked.

 

Signed,

No Regrets for "Pushing"

:iagree:

 

This basically sums up my experience with the only difference being that my dd in third grade still finds reading hard work, but she can do it. If I hadn't taught my daughter to read she would be having all sorts of difficulties at school now, instead of enjoying it and getting good grades in all her subjects as she does.

 

On weekends and holidays we always did reading (systematic, explicit phonics) after breakfast, then it was time to play for the rest of the day.

 

The children in school who dislike reading the most are the ones who can't do it.

 

Katrina

[nellecv]

My daughter also seriously resisted learning for a while. What worked for us was not letting her get bored. Instead of using one phonic curriculum, we mixed phonics readers, online phonic games, homemade phonic games, sight word games, etc. We did something different every day, while keeping the level the same. (In other words, short vowels for a couple weeks, then long vowels, then diagraphs, etc.) It took a lot of web-searching and planning for me, but now she is SOOO proud of her reading.

[mellie]

Thank you all for your comments and great advice. I told my daughter that we would be taking a little break from doing our reading, at which she protested that she wanted to continue "in a few days." I have decided I will start up again today (I think I needed a rest as feeling frustrated) whether she protests or not :) I have a 1 year old, so I had been trying to do our extra lessons when she went to bed (7.30pm) which I know isn't ideal as then my kindergartner is tired. Think I will try to do it earlier in the evening.

 

Ironically, my daughter just got her school report card and was deemed "advanced proficient" (whatever that actually means) in reading, so she is obviously not doing as poorly as she thinks. Also, she shared with me yesterday that while reading to her teacher, she had requested for her to "look at the pictures" when she did not know a word. That instantly reminded me why I decided to start teaching her myself to begin with. My dd informed me that she knew her teacher was wrong in saying that as "what will I do when there are no pictures, Mommy?" but she didn't want to be rude and tell her that. LOL

[Garga]

You probably just need a new curric. I tried Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons and I think my little guy would have rather plucked out his eyes than use that. (He's my 8 yo now and is in 3rd grade now.)

 

We moved to Hooked on Phonics and it wasn't much better, but we muddled through. Actually, it was horrendous and we badly muddled through. It took him to almost the end of 1st grade to be reading with any proficiency at all.

 

So, for my 2nd (who is 6 and is in Kindergarten now), we tried OPGTTR and he hated it and I tentatively pulled out the HOP books, and he likes those better, but only a little bit. But I do this veeeeeeeeeery slowly. I learned from my 1st not to push too hard. We do teensy weensy amounts of lessons. And when he starts to show the slightest bit of tiring, we stop.

 

 

I have a friend with 4 kids in private school. In passing one day, she told me how she gets frustrated with schools because they push reading so soon. She said, "It's not like they ever really "get" it until the middle of 1st grade anyway!" That was true for her 4 children, it was true for my 1st child.....so I'm thinking it'll be true for my 2nd, which is why I'm taking it soooooooo slowly and am not stressing about it.

 

If he hasn't learned to read with some proficiency by this time next year, (middle of 1st grade) then I'll worry.

 

 

The 2nd children have it so much easier. Our poor guinea pig 1st's go through so much.

Edited April 9, 2011 by Garga

[ElizabethB]

:grouphug:

 

I would keep doing a bit of phonics. You could try my game for a fun change of pace:

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Phonics/concentrationgam.html

 

Also, teach the sight words phonetically, here is how to teach all but 2 of the most commonly taught Dolch words with phonetically:

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Reading/sightwords.html

[Kathleen.]

I agree with Nancextoo.....

My 7yo is in school (grade 1) from 8am-3:30pm and home by 4pm. Her school is very challenging and often the work she brings home is a year ahead. We do "weekend/summer schooling" for fun only and so I can put my two cents in. From my own personal experience I wouldn't put too much stock into what the other kids are reading. I'd hear tall tales last year about grade K kids reading 3rd grade books only to find out it was the parents pumping up their kids. Parents and kids will say anything to make themselves sound better. Don't let your kid feel down about it, she might be reading better than she thinks.

 

My daughter reads at a very very high level simply because she loves reading and she sees her family reading. We're always at the library getting books. Read to her and have her read to you. Let her pick out books that interest her. You could try Hooked On Phonics (or any reading program at your library) and have her read through the stories and little books until it gets difficult. Always encourage her and make it fun not a chore or she'll lose interest. And also, pick a time when she feels the most alert like in the morning on the weekend. Sometimes I'll sneek in a "homeschooling" during the week but she's at her best on the weekend.

Hope this help.

[talexand]

Some kids do truly read at a 3rd grade level in K. Mine did. I would estimate that there is usually at least one in a classroom and depending on the area where you live, it could easily be more (or none). I know some parents inflate the abilities of their child's reading but I mention this here because it is just as hard on the other side, getting someone to take your K'er seriously as a reader. Even teachers will resist testing them or simply listening to them read because they don't want to admit that they are truly ahead and need to be challenged at their own level.

 

As far as pushing a young child, there is this hump that they often need a boost to get over. They are ready to learn but they are frustrated that they can't read what they want to read. The beginner readers are not exactly the most interesting stories, especially for someone who is read to a lot and gets the good stuff that way. I see no problem in giving a push, with incentives and a regular schedule and expectations, so help them get over this hump. It is so worth it when they are on the other side.

 

By the way, my oldest who mostly taught himself to read was the quickest to learn. He went from simple letter sounds to a 3rd or 4th grade level in about 4-6 months when he was 5. Soon he could read instruction manuals for electronics. He knew rudimentary phonics (really just letter sounds and a few blends) and used context to learn whole words. Once he knew a word he kept it. He has that kind of brain. Phonics is great but when you rely on it completely it can be a whole lot of work to decode a story. When I taught my youngest to read, I felt bad because she had to sound out every sound when of course I can read it as a whole word. In her case she just didn't see the whole words. She could get the same word three times in a sentence and she would sound it out all three times. Its no wonder she didn't enjoy the process as much as my son did. So I kind of see where the whole word instruction fits in for some kids. Unfortunately kids learn differently and teachers usually only teach one way for everyone.

[warriormom]

My son is in half day pre-K. To encourage him to learn to read, I set up a sticker chart. At the end, he would get maybe a movie night or a toy from McDonald's ($1.50). This really helped him to visualize his progress (since he is a visual learner). Also I invited his favorite stuffed animal to be the "professor". Somehow when "Professor Puppy" corrects you it is not as hard as when mom corrects you. Also I would offer to do something that she likes after her lesson was over. Try to make the process of learning to read a challenge, adventure or just plain fun. Right now, we are reading chapter books for me to read-aloud to him. After we finish a chapter book, we watch a movie that relates to the book (Stuart Little, Peter Pan, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Velveteen Rabbit etc.) Hope this gives you some ideas. Good luck!

[kristinannie]

My son was taught sight words only in pre-K this year and wouldn't even try to sound out words. I started teaching him phonics and he really fought me on it. He was lazy. He was used to being told what the word was and not having to sound it out. I have a "treasure box" with cheap little stuff in it (stickers, cars, etc). Every time he reads me a new book in his phonics program, he gets to get something out of the treasure box. That has worked wonders for us! Also, we have him read the books to family and friends. That gets him really excited and proud of what he has learned!

Edited April 22, 2011 by kristinannie
Forgot something!

[Lightly Salted]

see if your library has Mo Willems' Elephant and Piggie series of early readers - my kids LOVED them (ok, still love them!)