TracyP Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 is not the norm? When a thread is titled 'What is your first grader reading' and your answer is The Odyssey (for example) or 'Can a 5 year old use _______ math curricula' and your answer is yes, mine started it when they were 2 or 'Ds is stuck on lesson 148 in OPGTR' and you have an idea that could help but notice they have a 9 yo and you were stuck there with a 3 yo. I wrote these to be exaggerations on purpose but sometimes it is a closer call than this. How do you handle this? I would never answer (intentionally) in a way that was just bragging but sometimes it is hard to tell what the OP is looking for. Do I err on the side of sharing my personal experience or on the side of avoiding any possible hurt feelings? Oh, this made me think of a related question. What about the 'What is your 3rd grader doing' threads. Do you post by the grade your kids are mostly working at, the grade they would be in school, or do you just avoid posting in those? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuovonne Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 I would never answer (intentionally) in a way that was just bragging but sometimes it is hard to tell what the OP is looking for. Do I err on the side of sharing my personal experience or on the side of avoiding any possible hurt feelings? Sometimes I post if I feel my DDs experience will help the OP. In these cases I usually omit DD's age. Oh, this made me think of a related question. What about the 'What is your 3rd grader doing' threads. Do you post by the grade your kids are mostly working at, the grade they would be in school, or do you just avoid posting in those? I usually avoid posting on those threads, or post without being too obvious what level we're using, as I use mostly ungraded materials. For example, I might post that we're using a particular math program but not specify which level in that program. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennW in SoCal Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 This question applies to both accelerated and special needs kids and those who are "twice exceptional". It makes taking part on some of the general threads very difficult because you don't know what "normal" is. Over the years I stayed off the K-8 curriculum board and mostly hung out here, the special needs boards and the high school board. I rarely discussed specifics of what my kids were doing in a specific grade, but would share book titles or favorite math resources. I try to err on the side of being helpful, and as I can't be helpful when people are comparing their Grade 3 reading lists, I simply don't post on those threads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patchfire Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 Oh, this made me think of a related question. What about the 'What is your 3rd grader doing' threads. Do you post by the grade your kids are mostly working at, the grade they would be in school, or do you just avoid posting in those? I post by the grade they would be in school. I go ahead and post because they don't say "what your x grader is doing [but only if s/he is working exactly at grade level]." I would post on them if my kid was working below grade level, too. This question applies to both accelerated and special needs kids and those who are "twice exceptional". It makes taking part on some of the general threads very difficult because you don't know what "normal" is. :iagree: This is true, too, though. I really have no idea what is or is not normal. It took me until this year to realize that the disparity between dd's abilities in everything else vs. spelling was actually something, y'know, different. Sure, she's my oldest, but I just don't know what is normal. I often find myself sending dh, a couple of friends, and my mom links to curricula or books and saying "What level do *you* think this is?!?" There are a few parts of dd's school that I *know* are not normal (doing AoPS classes in 5th grade); the rest of it, and all of ds's school? Not. A. Clue. They may be atypical or boringly normal. No idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2smartones Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 It depends on the crowd. How well do I know the people on that board? How well do they know me? Are they even aware of how old my kids are? If I have something useful to say, I'll keep my comments vague and simply answer the question. If I'm in a group that knows me very well, knows all about my kids, etc., I'll go ahead and comment as well. If I'm not sure, I usually just won't answer. I saw things like that a lot more often when my kids were infant/toddler/preschool age. The differences were just SO noticable. The older a child gets, the easier it is to hide what they're doing. I mean... especially with something like science or history. You can study a science topic at many different levels, so it's common for anyone K-12 to talk about physics or the Civil War, ya' know? It's harder when you're talking about language arts or math, for sure! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2smartones Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 Oh, this made me think of a related question. What about the 'What is your 3rd grader doing' threads. Do you post by the grade your kids are mostly working at, the grade they would be in school, or do you just avoid posting in those? Again, it depends. Do they already know your 4-5-6 year old is in 3rd grade? If not, I'll answer and say "my 3rd grader does ___". If my child is the same age as theirs and they don't realize mine is several years ahead, I just won't answer. Seems like bragging, because it's not related to the intent of the question at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mammaofbean Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 depends on the question. if the thread starts as a brag thread, post away! i think often the "what is your _ grader doing?" are just sharing/bragging threads, but if the op is unclear about why they are asking i take the high road and say nothing. if someone is starting a thread to ask if their kid is on target, or because they want to know what is normal or expected at certain grade levels; then it is really obnoxious for someone to reply with "my second grader is too busy preparing for his MCAT to worry about cursive . . ." if someone is asking if it is too soon for their student to start xyz, then saying "my student started it after mastering uvw, and did/didn't need modification." is helpful and appropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 It depends. I think the perspective of the parent of an accelerated student can sometimes be helpful - for instance if the person posting the question just needs to hear a positive experience that xyz CAN work for a child of a certain age. Everybody is free to decide that my child's experience does not pertain to their situation. And then , of course, my n-th grader may just be accelerated in math and may be doing the age typical history, so our experience would pertain to an even wider range of kids if the parent was looking at the history suggestions. I would of course not post on a thread where it is clear that the poster's child is having difficulties with learning. I have nothing to offer to a parent of a child who struggles with math and my experience would not help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 I try to use a frame of reference other than age when possible. For instance, "When did your child start reading silently?" can be answered with the point in phonics instruction (e.g. right after ETC 4) without ever giving an age or a grade level. DD is in a grade that doesn't match her age, so I feel comfortable posting grade-dependent ideas on academic questions, but just keep her age out of the equation. I took my kids' ages out of my signature a while back, but I sometimes think that when I am posting on this board, it would be more useful to have them visible. On the K-8 board I often just bypass questions if I feel like my answer won't be germane due to acceleration issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaMa2005 Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 I try to use a frame of reference other than age when possible. For instance, "When did your child start reading silently?" can be answered with the point in phonics instruction (e.g. right after ETC 4) without ever giving an age or a grade level. DD is in a grade that doesn't match her age, so I feel comfortable posting grade-dependent ideas on academic questions, but just keep her age out of the equation. I took my kids' ages out of my signature a while back, but I sometimes think that when I am posting on this board, it would be more useful to have them visible. On the K-8 board I often just bypass questions if I feel like my answer won't be germane due to acceleration issues. :iagree: with you, Jen. However, I have kept DS's age in my siggy mainly for this board. I think it really helps others to see the age and level of material when discussing acceleration issues. I know I have been able to ask some very specific questions in PMs that I would never have attempted had I not known the age/level. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissKNG Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 I have all of our subjects and levels listed in my signature so nothing is "secret". I don't have ages listed. So when I post on threads about what K students are doing, I just figure that people think my big girl is in the 5-6 age range. Whatever ;)! I definitely have seen a lot of (the same) people who feel the need to post and constantly explain that their kiddo "is 6 and technically a K'er but doing 1st grade work." Or something along those lines - I don't feel the need to explain all of that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momling Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 depends on the question. if the thread starts as a brag thread, post away! i think often the "what is your _ grader doing?" are just sharing/bragging threads, but if the op is unclear about why they are asking i take the high road and say nothing. if someone is starting a thread to ask if their kid is on target, or because they want to know what is normal or expected at certain grade levels; then it is really obnoxious for someone to reply with "my second grader is too busy preparing for his MCAT to worry about cursive . . ." if someone is asking if it is too soon for their student to start xyz, then saying "my student started it after mastering uvw, and did/didn't need modification." is helpful and appropriate. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicianmom Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 I mostly keep my mouth shut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdeno Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 I try to never brag. All children are gifted in different areas. Kari Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 is not the norm? When a thread is titled Generally no. I only post if I think I can be relevant and helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 Sometimes I post if I feel my DDs experience will help the OP. In these cases I usually omit DD's age. I usually avoid posting on those threads, or post without being too obvious what level we're using, as I use mostly ungraded materials. For example, I might post that we're using a particular math program but not specify which level in that program. :iagree::iagree::iagree: Posting with dd's age just got people upset. And she's not THAT far ahead. I tend to post usually when people ask if your kid liked ____ that we have used, or if they ask about specific issues like being VSL or ADD, which we deal with. If I ever post on things like "what is your K'er doing" I always, always leave the ages off. It's K work I'm listing & discussing & learning about. I don't want to get strung up for saying it's a 3-year-old doing it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poetic license Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 If I ever post on things like "what is your K'er doing" I always, always leave the ages off. It's K work I'm listing & discussing & learning about. I don't want to get strung up for saying it's a 3-year-old doing it. I always feel somewhat defensive about what my DS is doing given that he's pre-K age. Like I don't want to seem like *that* psycho tiger mom, y'know? Whatever he does now is because of his interest, and really we only waited this long because I tried to hold off as long as possible from doing any book work. So yeah, I can see why someone wouldn't mention age but grade level only. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gratia271 Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 If people are asking for information about curricula I have used or courses that my children have taken, I reply with that relevant information. I typically avoid specific conversations on boards or IRL regarding what my children do with reference to their ages. In my experience, it often devolves into diatribes. As I have told my children, I have more than enough battles to fight and problems to address these days. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Yes. Yes, but don't include the specific age. Yes, ditto. It is helpful to see a range of ability levels, even on the general board. If only those with average or below average students post, it gives a skewed representation of what the range of abilities are. If someone only ever wants to see posts from those whose dc are behind theirs, then they have issues. :D Write your post and then read it back through. Is it truly helpful to OP or others, or is it just a way to make yourself feel good? That's how to tell whether you should post or not. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeanM Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 I don't generally post in the "what is your x grader doing" threads, but I enjoy reading them. I know that is not very logical... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acurtis75 Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 It's not just the posting thing that is hard to decide on. I actually find myself avoiding answering when people ask what grade my dd is in. She just turned 6 and we are probably about done with 3rd grade but I usually give a fuzzy answer when people inquire..something like "we're on difference levels with different subjects which is a benefit of homeschooling". She's never been to school so the "grade" concept is just now coming up with her because friends at church have started school. Now I can't avoid it because when friends ask what grade she's in she's started answering with things like "oh, I just finished all my second grade grammar lessons". Always akward when you're talking to someone child is older! Out of curiousity...to the person who posted that MCT (sp?) curriculum was a disaster this year do you mind sharing why? Someone recently recommended it and I was about to check it out but would appreciate your feedback before I do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greenmama2 Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 I don't generally post in the "what is your x grader doing" threads, but I enjoy reading them. I know that is not very logical... Me too. Not sure why :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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