mom2denj Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 (edited) Would you let your 13, 14 or 15 yr old dd's go to the functions? There are The youth pastors, some parents and some college kids that usually attend. I do not let my just turned 14 last month yr old dd go. Then tonight they had a YOUTH function so I let my dd go and then I find out that there are homeless people there.:banghead: I am very angry and I am wondering what you all think about it. BTW, I seem to be about the only one that is appalled about this. Edited February 27, 2011 by mom2denj Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FloridaLisa Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 Yes, under the right circumstances and with appropriate supervision. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 (edited) Not to be snarky, really, but what appalls you about homeless people? Or homeless people being in your church? Edited February 27, 2011 by elegantlion Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 Yes, as long as it's supervised. Absolutely. I'm pretty sure my kids will be working with the homeless as teenagers, since dh has a strong personal & future professional interest in the homeless population. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 Are they homeless teens or adults? I can't imagine I'd be happy to have a bunch of adults at a youth function. That doesn't even make sense. If it was a ministry thing, it would depend on the facility or group. We have local groups with everything from mostly alcoholic or recovering drug addict adult men to those for families between jobs. Some are more appropriate for teens to work in than others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2denj Posted February 27, 2011 Author Share Posted February 27, 2011 OK I guess that I worded this wrong. I have absoultely nothing against the homeless ministry, I think it is great. I DO NOT think that these 13 and 14 yr old girls should be hanging around inside and outside of the house at night with them. It is like a hang out. The adults can't be everywheere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2denj Posted February 27, 2011 Author Share Posted February 27, 2011 (edited) They are all adults that they go downtown and pick up. That is what I am saying, I do not let her go to the homeless ministry functions because they are hang out. I did let her go tonight because it is a YOUTH function not a homeless ministry function. Yet they were there. Are they homeless teens or adults? I can't imagine I'd be happy to have a bunch of adults at a youth function. That doesn't even make sense. If it was a ministry thing, it would depend on the facility or group. We have local groups with everything from mostly alcoholic or recovering drug addict adult men to those for families between jobs. Some are more appropriate for teens to work in than others. Edited February 27, 2011 by mom2denj Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 OK I guess that I worded this wrong. I have absoultely nothing against the homeless ministry, I think it is great. I DO NOT think that these 13 and 14 yr old girls should be hanging around inside and outside of the house at night with them. It is like a hang out. The adults can't be everywheere. So your youth group meeting was at someone's home and there are homeless there? I guess I wouldn't have an issue with, especially after hearing about some of the crazy things church members have gotten away with. I would expect adult supervision, as with any church function. I guess it hits a spot with me because we don't know why someone is homeless. Sometimes church members can be homeless too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Would you let your 13, 14 or 15 yr old dd's go to the functions? There are The youth pastors, some parents and some college kids that usually attend. I do not let my just turned 14 last month yr old dd go. Then tonight they had a YOUTH function so I let my dd go and then I find out that there are homeless people there.:banghead: I am very angry and I am wondering what you all think about it. BTW, I seem to be about the only one that is appalled about this. I don't want to be snarky. But, honestly, what would Jesus do? He'd nurture, feed, minister and care for the homeless. I have a homeless friend. My children worked alongside him when we ran fireworks stands (With other adults present also). I'd absolutely allow my kids to attend an adult supervised, structured homeless ministry. Who needs the care of compassionate human beings more than homeless people and all the varied reasons they are homeless. I'm assuming that their are boundaries in place and someone in the supervisory system is familiar with the needs, habits, patterns and behaviors with the homeless population. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 The thing that would bother me is that they are ADULTS. They are adults whom no one knows their backgrounds and they are hanging around with teenagers, partially unsupervised. I would have no problem with a homeless ministry, but I don't like the part that I mentioned above. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 So, these youth are just "hanging out" with homeless adult men? Um, no, never would I allow that. My dad was a youth pastor for 20 years and I know he would never allow that. In fact, he preferred not to have youth deal with homeless face to face because in our area (warm weather means we have more homeless) many are mentally ill and the church is next door to a mental facility. However, the youth did make up backpacks for homeless teens, prepare sack lunches for homeless individuals and help in the food pantry. HTH and I'm sorry you were put in that situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 They are adults whom no one knows their backgrounds and they are hanging around with teenagers, partially unsupervised. Exactly. And from my past experiences, I wouldn't assume proper supervision at a youth group function. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 OK I guess that I worded this wrong. I have absoultely nothing against the homeless ministry, I think it is great. I DO NOT think that these 13 and 14 yr old girls should be hanging around inside and outside of the house at night with them. It is like a hang out. The adults can't be everywheere. I guess I am a cynic. I don't trust the other kids or adults more, necessarily and automatically, than the homeless people. Why do they have the homeless people there? What is the structure? What is being done with and for the homeless? I'm a little confused on the intent? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I think I need more information in order to say what I would do. I mean, I take my girls with me to serve at the homeless shelter, and they go out in the dining room and serve dessert, refill drinks, etc. But I am right there. And there is a security guard. But I think you might be describing a totally different situation. The fact is I wouldn't let my daughters "hang out" with a bunch of adult men, homeless or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 OK I guess that I worded this wrong. I have absoultely nothing against the homeless ministry, I think it is great. I DO NOT think that these 13 and 14 yr old girls should be hanging around inside and outside of the house at night with them. It is like a hang out. The adults can't be everywheere. Um. Heck no! But then again, I am thoroughly jaded against youth groups in general.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In2why Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Would you let your 13, 14 or 15 yr old dd's go to the functions? There are The youth pastors, some parents and some college kids that usually attend. I do not let my just turned 14 last month yr old dd go. Then tonight they had a YOUTH function so I let my dd go and then I find out that there are homeless people there.:banghead: I am very angry and I am wondering what you all think about it. BTW, I seem to be about the only one that is appalled about this. It wouldn't and doesn't bother me. You either trust your kids and the adults supervising them, or you don't. If you don't then it isn't the function that is the problem, it is your kids and the supervision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Sherry Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 (edited) I don't want to be snarky. But, honestly, what would Jesus do? He'd nurture, feed, minister and care for the homeless. I have a homeless friend. My children worked alongside him when we ran fireworks stands (With other adults present also). I'd absolutely allow my kids to attend an adult supervised, structured homeless ministry. Who needs the care of compassionate human beings more than homeless people and all the varied reasons they are homeless. I'm assuming that their are boundaries in place and someone in the supervisory system is familiar with the needs, habits, patterns and behaviors with the homeless population. The type of person that ends up homeless varies greatly. I honestly think you are asking the wrong question, which is blurring the issue. She doesn't need to be asking what would Jesus do. Of course Jesus is compassionate. She just needs to know what "she" should do as a parent.Jesus expects us to use good judgment and common sense. In this day and age many "regular" people, such as Moms and Dads with Kids are even ending up homeless. However, there are still the people who are homeless and dealing with drug addiction and mental illness. Some of them commit crimes. We have a friend who used to work for a ministry to the homeless and he was gang raped by several of them one night. There IS danger at times working with certain type of homeless people. It's not just all about compassion. For that reason, without having met these particular homeless people, and knowing that there will be times that the kids will not be completely supervised, no, I would not send them. But if you have the option of attending with them, that may work. Edited February 28, 2011 by Miss Sherry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I think I need more information in order to say what I would do. I mean, I take my girls with me to serve at the homeless shelter, and they go out in the dining room and serve dessert, refill drinks, etc. But I am right there. And there is a security guard. But I think you might be describing a totally different situation. The fact is I wouldn't let my daughters "hang out" with a bunch of adult men, homeless or not. This. And.....I would ABSOLUTELY not let my children be involved in ANY activity that was a "we will come here under the guise of feeding/helping you, when, in reality we just want to tell you about our religion". Yuck. I've seen that happen far too many times with churches and it is disgusting. JUST HELP without expectation. JUST HELP without pretext or agenda. Now THAT is charity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laurad1125 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Homeless is not the part I have a problem with. It's adults, that are not part of the youth ministry, just hanging out with kids. Unless they are all (kids and adults) in the same room with the ministry workers (which I don't see happening at someone's home) then the kids aren't supervised well enough for the presence of random adults (homeless or otherwise.) You don't leave other people's children with other adults without their permission. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 We are involved in such a ministry and there is usually youth group going on during the evening church time, which all begins at 6:30. The Room at the Inn guys come in between 7-7:15. They eat and we all sit and talk to them. They are generally a set group so we see pretty much the same guys each time. They have to pass certain requirements in order to be able to participate in the program. I don't know what sort of program your state/city/church has and whether it's like ours or not, but our guys are a pretty innocuous group. Our youth do eat with the rest of us, but they all sit together and don't really mix and mingle with the adults at all. If I wanted to see what was occurring in my church setting, I think I'd go a time or two and see how things are set up, how the people mix and mingle, etc. The guys who participate in our program don't really talk all that much. They want to eat and go to bed, for the most part, and I can't really blame them.... They have to be up and out by about 6-7 the next morning, and they probably don't get much sleep during any nights that they're out without shelter.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 However, there are still the people who are homeless and dealing with drug addiction and mental illness. Some of them commit crimes. I *am* a cynic because I think the above occurs in churches and quarter million dollar homes. We have a friend who used to work for a ministry to the homeless and he was gang raped by several of them one night. There IS danger at times working with certain type of homeless people. It's not just all about compassion. For that reason, without having met these particular homeless people, and knowing that there will be times that the kids will not be completely supervised, no, I would not send them. But if you have the option of attending with them, that may work. Yes, I am not quite clear on the intent and structure of the youth co-mingling with the homeless. Responding to the needs of the homeless community includes a need for purpose, structure and some population specific training. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 This. And.....I would ABSOLUTELY not let my children be involved in ANY activity that was a "we will come here under the guise of feeding/helping you, when, in reality we just want to tell you about our religion". Yuck. I've seen that happen far too many times with churches and it is disgusting. JUST HELP without expectation. JUST HELP without pretext or agenda. Now THAT is charity. :(. I agree. The actions speak for themselves. I heart catholic charities. I think they might have some art work and say grace, but other than that - just serve. Homeless is not the part I have a problem with. It's adults, that are not part of the youth ministry, just hanging out with kids. Unless they are all (kids and adults) in the same room with the ministry workers (which I don't see happening at someone's home) then the kids aren't supervised well enough for the presence of random adults (homeless or otherwise.) You don't leave other people's children with other adults without their permission. :iagree: exactly so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2denj Posted February 28, 2011 Author Share Posted February 28, 2011 Thank you! This is exactly what I mean. I have no issues with the homeless ministry. We have workde the soup kitchen, delivered coats to shelters with the girl scouts, etc.... I just do not think that young teens should be hanging out at youth functions with homeless adults! The thing that would bother me is that they are ADULTS. They are adults whom no one knows their backgrounds and they are hanging around with teenagers, partially unsupervised. I would have no problem with a homeless ministry, but I don't like the part that I mentioned above. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Thank you! This is exactly what I mean. I have no issues with the homeless ministry. We have workde the soup kitchen, delivered coats to shelters with the girl scouts, etc.... I just do not think that young teens should be hanging out at youth functions with homeless adults! Did your dd know the plan or intent of the meeting or were the youth just told to show up? I would be upset with my dd if she knew of a plan/intent and did'nt tell me OR upset at the youth leaders for keeping my dd and me in the dark as to the plan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2denj Posted February 28, 2011 Author Share Posted February 28, 2011 No, she did not know. It was just a youth cookout, watch movies, play video games hangout night. Did your dd know the plan or intent of the meeting or were the youth just told to show up? I would be upset with my dd if she knew of a plan/intent and did'nt tell me OR upset at the youth leaders for keeping my dd and me in the dark as to the plan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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