The great bed escape

[bethben]

We have a 3 1/2 yr old daughter adopted almost 1 1/2 years ago from China. She has gotten too big for a crib which we had a crib tent on top to keep her in her bed. She destroyed two tent cribs and now is in a twin sized bed. We've locked her door from the inside which keeps her from wandering, but I really think the tent helped her to sleep. She needs something that keeps her inside of it - something durable. We're tired of waking up at 5 am with her banging on the door after a night where she went to sleep after 9 pm because she had the lights on playing with toys (toys seem to migrate daily back to her room after we stripped it of everything). Help!

 

Beth

[Tap]

I know a lot of people put a baby gate across the bedroom doorway to contain a wandering child. They strip the room of anything 'climbable' and/or dangerous and just start working on teaching the child to stay in their room until a certain time.

[bethben]

The problem is - she stays in her room because the door is locked, but wakes up everyone with the banging on the door. One morning it was at 4:50 am. She really needs some sort of containing for all of our sanity.

Beth

[Giraffe]

I don't know if this will help, but it's worth a shot. DD has a hard time sleeping too and I would find her sleeping in a play tent we had gotten her - on the floor, no pillow, no blanket. She said she felt "safe" in it. On a whim I put the play tent on her mattress (which was on the floor anyway, no frame). It worked. We've gotten her a larger tent (and a larger mattress) and she sleeps much better.

 

I think some little ones just feel more secure in a tent or a four poster bed with bed curtains (like in the old days). If she's still like this when she outgrows the larger tent we will get her a four poster with curtains. She's already asked what might happen when she does outgrow the tent so I had to think ahead.

[gardening momma]

How about a twin size canopy bed? You could make or buy curtains for it.

[Lara in Colo]

How about a princess bed tent?

 

 

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4001307

[LittleIzumi]

We have a 3 1/2 yr old daughter adopted almost 1 1/2 years ago from China. She has gotten too big for a crib which we had a crib tent on top to keep her in her bed. She destroyed two tent cribs and now is in a twin sized bed. We've locked her door from the inside which keeps her from wandering, but I really think the tent helped her to sleep. She needs something that keeps her inside of it - something durable. We're tired of waking up at 5 am with her banging on the door after a night where she went to sleep after 9 pm because she had the lights on playing with toys (toys seem to migrate daily back to her room after we stripped it of everything). Help!

 

Beth

 

So there are usually no toys in her room? I'd probably bang on the door too if I was awake & bored ;). Is it better with toys & books in there in a box for her to use when she wakes up?

[Laura Corin]

The problem is - she stays in her room because the door is locked, but wakes up everyone with the banging on the door. One morning it was at 4:50 am. She really needs some sort of containing for all of our sanity.

Beth

 

When Hobbes was little, we taught him that he couldn't leave his room until the alarm went off. Until then, he would entertain himself in his room. If a child can't tell the time I think it makes them anxious when they wake up: they don't know if everyone is asleep or whether they have been forgotten. Perhaps those fears might be greater with an adopted child.

 

Laura

[Wabi Sabi]

You lock the door from the inside when she's sleeping? Does that mean you have to pick the lock every morning to open the door? It sounds inconvenient!

 

If I was in that situation I might consider putting a baby gate up at the door and having some fun toys/books that the child could use to entertain herself with in the morning.

[LibraryLover]

My 18 year old was born a lark. 5am was her time. Still is.

 

I was so grateful when she didn't need morning supervison. When she was little she liked to play in her room, or in ours in when she was that age (2/3/4). Can you go to bed earlier so you can get up with her at 5? Sometimes I did doze as she played on the floor or my room. I had a high hook lock so she didn't wander out. Her door was not locked and she slept with us until she was around 2.6 or so. When she woke in the morning, she could just come in our room (when she stopped sleeping with us. )

 

I hated getting up early like that all those years, but now I get to sleep!

Edited February 26, 2011 by LibraryLover

[bethben]

I may try the alarm thing. We tried a baby gate at first, but that's NO problem for her to get over. She scaled my son's closet organizer to the top of the closet today to get a toy that was not hers. I would like to go to bed earlier so that waking up so early is not a problem, but she is still up at the time I would like to go to bed. Today for example at nap (because she SOOOOO needed it which may be part of the sleep problem), she was jumping off of her three drawer dresser. I just want to keep this child safe! She also smuggled in some quarters she "found" - which in most going on 4 children is not a problem, but she still puts everything small into her mouth and has even swallowed some unknown items. She's not necessarily naughty - she's something I can't even describe.

 

Beth

[LittleIzumi]

I may try the alarm thing. We tried a baby gate at first, but that's NO problem for her to get over. She scaled my son's closet organizer to the top of the closet today to get a toy that was not hers. I would like to go to bed earlier so that waking up so early is not a problem, but she is still up at the time I would like to go to bed. Today for example at nap (because she SOOOOO needed it which may be part of the sleep problem), she was jumping off of her three drawer dresser. I just want to keep this child safe! She also smuggled in some quarters she "found" - which in most going on 4 children is not a problem, but she still puts everything small into her mouth and has even swallowed some unknown items. She's not necessarily naughty - she's something I can't even describe.

 

Beth

 

Ahhhh. Now she sounds like dd. Dd had sensory issues & almost never slept. Can you give her extra sensory stimulation right before bed (fills the sensory need which avoids dresser jumping/climbing for vestibular input), give her a crunchy snack before nap/bed (fills the oral sensory need), and use a LOT of white noise at sleeping time (dd needed a loud fan and music together or the background noise of a movie/TV).

[Laura Corin]

I may try the alarm thing. We tried a baby gate at first, but that's NO problem for her to get over.

 

Some children are better if they can see out, even if they can't get out. Good luck! I remember dozing on Hobbes' bed while he played on the floor next to me, after he had woken up at some unearthly hour.

 

Laura

[zimom]

We just cut our daughters' doors in half, so now we close the bottom half, and for my youngest, 7 y.o., I tried locking her in too. Unfortunately did not work as she could reach right over and unlock it.

 

We actually cut the doors so the girls dogs would each stay in their own room at night but it does help keep my younger fiesty daughter in her own room at night too. Something to consider as it is much higher then a baby gate (the dog was just leaping right over the gate), but you can still look in to see what they are up to.

 

My daughters are also adopted from China and my youngest is a fireball so good luck. Another goal for us is to keep her out of big sisters room at night as she likes to go in and 'borrow' her sisters iPod, etc. Will likely add another lock to sister's door that she can not reach.

[In The Great White North]

If she liked the tent, you could try one of these

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000T8SZVE/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_2?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B000T8EKEA&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=1H7STDXYJ5D1GR0ARRFM

 

or this

 

http://www.blueberryforest.com/play_silks_costumes/silk_scapes.htm

 

Ds took two hours to fall asleep til he left home.

 

As a baby, it was rocking and lullabies. :nopity:

 

As a toddler, he talked to himself FOR TWO HOURS every night. :glare:

 

Then he learned to read. :D

 

Then he got a computer. :eek:

 

He has finally learned the fine art of sleeping whenever he gets a chance, in college.

[SonshineLearner]

Also, I'm sure you've already secured dressers and such so they don't fall on her..... Maybe a kids alarm so she can see how long she has to wait. I think the play tent is a good idea, too. I'd put a pillow and blankie in there... :)

[melissel]

I may try the alarm thing. We tried a baby gate at first, but that's NO problem for her to get over. She scaled my son's closet organizer to the top of the closet today to get a toy that was not hers. I would like to go to bed earlier so that waking up so early is not a problem, but she is still up at the time I would like to go to bed. Today for example at nap (because she SOOOOO needed it which may be part of the sleep problem), she was jumping off of her three drawer dresser. I just want to keep this child safe! She also smuggled in some quarters she "found" - which in most going on 4 children is not a problem, but she still puts everything small into her mouth and has even swallowed some unknown items. She's not necessarily naughty - she's something I can't even describe.

 

Beth

 

I would say that if she's up that late at night, she needs to drop the nap. I know it's hard when they're so miserable in the middle of the day, but with both my girls, if they napped even five minutes in the middle of day, they were up until 11. The kicker was that they would get tired and cranky at their normal bedtime (8:30-9:00) and would scream and fuss but COULD NOT fall asleep until after 11! We did anything we could to get us through that hour of the day where they were miserable during their former naptime, but once that hour passed, it was all good, and bedtime was a snap.

 

It may not help with the waking time (:grouphug: on that!) but it may help her get to bed earlier. Although I found that the sleep book advice was true for us: If I could them to bed earlier, they would sleep later in the morning. It's still true for my DD5!

[Year Round Mom]

Can you give her extra sensory stimulation right before bed (fills the sensory need which avoids dresser jumping/climbing for vestibular input)

 

Hi, hope it's okay to jump in and ask what you mean by extra sensory stimulation? My aspie son loves to climb on and jump off furniture! It wasn't so bad when he was 3; it's getting higher and more dangerous now that he's six!

 

Thanks!

[LittleIzumi]

Hi, hope it's okay to jump in and ask what you mean by extra sensory stimulation? My aspie son loves to climb on and jump off furniture! It wasn't so bad when he was 3; it's getting higher and more dangerous now that he's six!

 

Thanks!

 

Check out The Out-of-Sync Child and The Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun for more ideas, but a lot of what we did were joint compressions (sat behind her, lined up a limb straight, then pushed it back towards her body quickly 10 times on each limb plus down her spine by pushing down her shoulders), brushing (long firm strokes with a surgical scrub brush), spinning her around upside down, and rolling her on her back & belly over an exercise ball by her ankles.

[Year Round Mom]

Check out The Out-of-Sync Child and The Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun for more ideas, but a lot of what we did were joint compressions (sat behind her, lined up a limb straight, then pushed it back towards her body quickly 10 times on each limb plus down her spine by pushing down her shoulders), brushing (long firm strokes with a surgical scrub brush), spinning her around upside down, and rolling her on her back & belly over an exercise ball by her ankles.

 

Thanks for this! I'll check the book out :)

[rootsnwings]

I agree with the drop the nap suggestion. My ds(3.5) hasn't taken a nap since he was 11 months old! He just doesn't require that much sleep. Even today--he'd been up since 7-ish with his cousins at my parents house. Played outside ALL day long, NO nap, and he was still up after 10 when ds(10) went to bed. I laid beside him (his bed is right beside my bed) for literally 2 minutes, holding his hand, and he was OUT like a light! I imagine he won't wake up till 9 or later in the morning!! :D

 

Is there anyway she can sleep in your room? It sounds like she doesn't feel safe/secure in her own room and (especially being adopted) I feel like that's SUPER important at that age, for them to feel good about where they sleep. We have a twin sized bed at the foot of our bed (it's a top bunk frame w/ a rail, so perfect for toddlers--they can't roll out!)

 

I've just never been real successful at forcing my kids to sleep in their own beds, in their own rooms. My ds(10) wouldn't be caught dead in bed with me now! LOL!! So at some point they DO enjoy their own space!!! But I would never expect that of a 3 year old.

[missesd]

We have a 3 1/2 yr old daughter adopted almost 1 1/2 years ago from China. She has gotten too big for a crib which we had a crib tent on top to keep her in her bed. She destroyed two tent cribs and now is in a twin sized bed. We've locked her door from the inside which keeps her from wandering, but I really think the tent helped her to sleep. She needs something that keeps her inside of it - something durable. We're tired of waking up at 5 am with her banging on the door after a night where she went to sleep after 9 pm because she had the lights on playing with toys (toys seem to migrate daily back to her room after we stripped it of everything). Help!

 

Beth

 

Have you thought about getting her something she is REALLY excited about?? My 4 yr old has slept in bed with me forever, and I didn't mind, but after redoing all the kids rooms, and they all got new beds, she was rather sad. She really wanted this bed, by Ikea:

 

 

She has the bed, the light that mounts on the wall at the display, a small dresser under it and her doll bed and Bitty Baby stuff. We're waiting on getting the tent this week. We also got her the heart duvet. She was SO excited about having her own bed, and the one she wanted she has given me NO problems about going to bed every night!! It's an idea... ;) Good luck!!