lmrich Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 My family has been invited to go to our friend's mtn home with two other families. These are really good friends - my dh's college roommates. I have a serious ankle issue and can not walk without serious pain. I use crutches etc. but it is a pain. The original activity was to go skiing and sledding with the kids (8 in all) but now there is no snow, so we will spend the day in the adorable town - Highlands NC - one of my favorite little places to waste a day. BUT I can't walk. My husband just got back from London, a trip I was supposed to go with him on, but I can't walk so I didn't go. SO my question is I don't want to go, and be left at the house by myself, or worse left in the small house with all the children while the adults go shopping and have a fabulous lunch. This is most likely what will happen. I am the teacher after all, I must love hanging out with kids (I actually do...) but I already feel so depressed and sad. Would going make me feel worse or make me feel like I am doing something good for my husband. My kids don't really care as the other kids are not kids they know well, but they are friendly. I am trying to figure out what will make me feel less terrible - staying home alone, all of us staying home, or all of us going. It is about three hours away if that makes a difference and it is a three bedroom home for three couples and all the kids. Thanks for reading and responding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I wonder if you could rent one of those scooters for the day there? (I'm not sure what they are actually called - you know a motorized thing you sit on and steer but it's not a full wheelchair.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 I could take a wheelchair - but this is a mountain city with brick sidewalks and full of antique shops. Not wheelchair friendly. Some of the streets are pretty steep. Thanks for the idea; a different little mountain town that would work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I would go. You will enjoy catching up. What about taking a rug and book and food and relaxing in a park while they are in the town, then your DH can collect you for the lunch. If it is not park weather, perhaps the local library has comfy chairs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I would go! Take some books, let them leave you at a coffee shop while they shop, and come back to get you for lunch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 What does your DH say? I mean, you missed a trip to London for this problem so obviously it isn't something you're using as an excuse to not go. And if you do go, can you talk to your DH beforehand to make sure you aren't left alone with all of the children if everyone else goes out? Maybe you and your DH can come up with a plan so that you won't feel bad. It sounds like you could do with some cheering up! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I wouldn't go, but I wouldn't begrudge my husband going since they're really his friends. He may surprise you and decide to stay at home, too. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I would go, but tell everyone how much you are looking forward to your 'alone time SANS kids' since you can't go with everyone to the town. Make sure everyone hears it too! Let dh know, if he hears anyone mentioning leaving a child with you, that he is to step in and say, "Sorry, she can't". I would go to town and find a spot to sit and read or what ever you please. There is bound to be a coffee or pastry shop. Google ahead and see if they have a Chamber of Commerce for ideas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 If you go, I'll come house sit. I miss living in Atlanta (Peachtree City). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 Thanks, I will look and see if there is a coffee shop with wi-fi. It's just that the other two wives who are going are best friends and will be busy together. I am having a pity party. I have already gone through this foot thing before, and I know surgery is coming in May and then two months in a cast and then two months in a boot. I should be able to walk by December. Thanks for listening and joining my pity party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Three bedrooms, all those kids? That would stress me out even if every single part of my body felt well.What's the bathroom situation like? Picture making snacks for all the kids while the parents are gone. Etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMCassandra Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Frankly, I would stay home. But I'm an introvert and LOVE being at home alone. I would try to reframe it as a mental health weekend, with yummy treats, some great movie DVDs, some great books, and some quiet activities planned, ALL FOR ME ; ). But I don't know if you are an extrovert. I would only go if the other families are people you enjoy spending time AND are people who have good boundaries and will listen that you are not to be left in the small house with all eight children and be the free babysitter!!! (The stress of that even being a possibility would wig me out totally. Can you hear the panic rising in my voice as I get to the end of of that sentence with all of the exclamation points?!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Thanks, I will look and see if there is a coffee shop with wi-fi. It's just that the other two wives who are going are best friends and will be busy together. I am having a pity party. I have already gone through this foot thing before, and I know surgery is coming in May and then two months in a cast and then two months in a boot. I should be able to walk by December. Thanks for listening and joining my pity party. I had a back issue for a year and a half and couldn't stand to be in a car for more than 15 minutes. I watched my family take vacations and do a lot of fun things while I sat at home. My neighbor mentioned to me one time that I 'got left out'. My response was "my back was hurt, not everyone in my family. Why should they have to baby me, and miss out on the fun in life, because I was hurt?" Yes, I could have asked them to stay home and baby me, or I could send them off to have fun and live their lives. ((((SAID NICELY AND GENTLY)))))You can have a pity party, or appreciate the fact that you can at least get out of the house and enjoy a change of scenery. It is all about your attitude! Why make your family miss a fun trip....just because you are the one who is hurt? If you think that you can't get over it, then send them on their way and sulk at home, but don't hold them back, just so you can feel sorry for yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I would go, but tell everyone how much you are looking forward to your 'alone time SANS kids' since you can't go with everyone to the town. Make sure everyone hears it too! Let dh know, if he hears anyone mentioning leaving a child with you, that he is to step in and say, "Sorry, she can't". I would go to town and find a spot to sit and read or what ever you please. There is bound to be a coffee or pastry shop. Google ahead and see if they have a Chamber of Commerce for ideas. What does your DH say? I mean, you missed a trip to London for this problem so obviously it isn't something you're using as an excuse to not go. And if you do go, can you talk to your DH beforehand to make sure you aren't left alone with all of the children if everyone else goes out? Maybe you and your DH can come up with a plan so that you won't feel bad. It sounds like you could do with some cheering up! :) Frankly, I would stay home. But I'm an introvert and LOVE being at home alone. I would try to reframe it as a mental health weekend, with yummy treats, some great movie DVDs, some great books, and some quiet activities planned, ALL FOR ME ; ). But I don't know if you are an extrovert. I would only go if the other families are people you enjoy spending time AND are people who have good boundaries and will listen that you are not to be left in the small house with all eight children and be the free babysitter!!! (The stress of that even being a possibility would wig me out totally. Can you hear the panic rising in my voice as I get to the end of of that sentence with all of the exclamation points?!) yes...this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 Oh the kids and hubby can go. I agree that just because I am out of commission; they are not. Last time around (I had surgery that failed three years ago)I did about everything on crutches or in a wheelchair. I just have an issue with the housing situation and the potential for being left in a small house while it is raining with all the kids. I will have to be firm, that I won't stay home and play babysitter. If skiing was still an option, the kids would go and have fun and I could stay behind in a quiet house by myself during the day and enjoy the adult time at night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate CA Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I would ask my dh what he is interested in doing and if he was keen to go, I would ask if he would like to take the children are go. I would welcome a weekend at home to putter, read, relax, and would enjoy the peace. I love love having my children around, but I never get any alone-at-home time and would welcome it. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alpidarkomama Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Can you imagine yourself in both situations and see which one sends your imaginary stress meter up the highest??? For me, a few peaceful days at home sounds very nice, and you have a wonderful excuse. OTOH, I also hate being apart from DH and DC. :) Still, I think I'd choose the weekend at home. Sorry about your foot troubles. BLEAH. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I would ask my dh what he is interested in doing and if he was keen to go, I would ask if he would like to take the children are go. I would welcome a weekend at home to putter, read, relax, and would enjoy the peace. I love love having my children around, but I never get any alone-at-home time and would welcome it. :001_smile: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arghmatey Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I would go. As soon as someone brought up the notion of you babysitting all the kids, I'd say, "Nope! I brought a chart so we could divide up that duty. I'll take x day if each of you take a day as well, since we are ALL on vacation." Hopefully your DH would step up on your day since it'd be pretty difficult to keep up with a bunch of children while not being able to walk. If not, then I'd probably skip the trip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny_P Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I wouldn't go. I hate being the "designated" babysitter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I'd stay home but send my husband and the kids. As much as I love my family, I do love having time to myself, so that would actually be a real treat for me. Even if I didn't like being by myself, I doubt I'd go because it sounds like there are too many unknowns about how you will handle/be treated in the situation and I don't like surprises. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 Thanks for all the input. I am still not sure what I will do. UGGH! I need to see what my kids want to do. My son doesn't really care for the other boy his age, so he may not want to go as it is, then I could enjoy a weekend with him and that would make me feel like less of a loser. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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