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My 2nd grader can read at a 5th grade level but can't tie his shoes or zip his coat!!


Mama2Many4
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It's not his fault though! I never got around to teaching him.:blush: It's so much faster for me to just zip his coat and the velcro sneakers are so cool looking (not to mention WAY quicker for him to put on himself ;))

 

It seems that I do so many other things and he is excelling in his schoolwork so everything seems like he's on track. Or I just don't have any more time in my day. Am I the only one who has not taught their child these things by the age of 7? I have a 5 year old too that I've yet to teach.

 

Please tell me I'm not alone!:leaving:

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Okay, big confession here. Most of my children didn't get the shoe tying thing until the ages between 10-11. I never sweated it much, and now they all know.

 

My mother tells me that I learned to tie my shoes at 4. While that was pretty impressive back then in the 70's, it hasn't helped me much in life today. ;)

 

Don't worry, he'll get it eventually. Boys especially struggle more with these types of issues (motor coordination). I honestly believe that the person that invented velcro sneakers was a boy! :lol:

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My 12yo figured it out on his own around 5 or 6. My oldest dd asked to learn at about 6 and after being shown once, could do it herself. My 4yo can zip her coat but doesn't have any shoes that require tying (but she has perfected tying her jumprope in knots for pulling her brother in the cozy coupe :lol: ). However, my 10yo, also named Sean fwiw, just got new boots for the winter....the ones he wanted were laced and he decided he was ready to master tying his shoes finally. He still struggles, some days more than others. While he is very bright and excels at academics, we do suspect some form of dyslexia and I've been told dyslexics often struggle with learning to tie their shoes. He's coming along with it but it's a slow process. I'm not worried about it...he will get it eventually.

 

I'm wondering how on earth you got through the infamous "I do it myself" phase. All my kids got to the point around 3 or 4 where the only help they wanted with their coat was to latch the zipper together for them, they had to do the rest of it or tears would ensue. And unzipping it and letting them rezip it just wasn't the same. :lol:

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Thanks for posting this. I've only tried to teach ds 7 to tie his own shoes once. I was recently wondering what's wrong with me that I'd never gotten around to it/forgotten to teach that. :tongue_smilie: Although, he does mainly wear velcro shoes. (Whenever he wants extra attention he asks me to put those one for him.) His only lace-on shoes are Air Jordans and they are difficult even for adults to lace.... seriously. very. difficult. I feel much better.

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DS10 doesn't totally have tying shoes down yet. Though he officially learned in therapy at 8 bc he has some very mild motor delays.

 

DS8 only just got it and I have to retie for him when he's done bc he's very particular and he can't get it tight enough yet. I had to buckle down and insist he do it. I put it on the school schedule :) Every week when he had to wear sneakers into the gym I would tell him he had to try before I would help him...there were tears. I had a plan and stuck to it. He would walk into the building with his shoes untied, waiting til the very last second but I wouldn't back down. It took a few months (practicing only 1-2x per week).

 

And ds8 has always had great motor skills (at least large anyhow). With velcro we just never got around to it at the right age. They do make shoe tying practice books if this would be easier...or just bring dh's sneaker into the schoolroom and use it as a subject :)

 

Brownie

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It's not his fault though! I never got around to teaching him.:blush: It's so much faster for me to just zip his coat and the velcro sneakers are so cool looking (not to mention WAY quicker for him to put on himself ;))

 

It seems that I do so many other things and he is excelling in his schoolwork so everything seems like he's on track. Or I just don't have any more time in my day. Am I the only one who has not taught their child these things by the age of 7? I have a 5 year old too that I've yet to teach.

 

Please tell me I'm not alone!:leaving:

 

Sounds like my 8 yo. His problem is that there are three women in the house to take care of him. He read the LOTR books in a few days, but he can't dress himself or get his own food. :D Some of it I blame on being a boy, but I know a lot of it is youngest-homeschool-child syndrome. For example, he can do some basic algebra, but he still writes a few numbers backwards.

 

He does know how to tie his shoes, but that's because I hate the sound of velcro. :D No child of mine has ever had velcro shoes.

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My 6.5 year old wears slip-on Merrels, so he doesn't know how to tie his shoes.

 

He does zip his own coat. Some things like that and buckling his car seat have required me to force myself to let him try it himself. The car seat was a necessity when baby#3 came and DS1 had to move to the back row of the van, plus he was starting KG and car line.

 

I have tried to teach shoe tying, but fine motor skills are not his strongpoint.

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7yo DD wouldn't know how to teach her shoe laces yet if she hadn't wanted to learn how to tie a bow on the front of a pair of hand-me-down pants. :p She's a perfectionist and it only frustrated her when she was younger, so we tabled it and stuck with velcro or elastic type shoe closures (most for sale now are).

 

I remember when my eldest DD was 1 or 2 and the "developmental questionnaire" for her well-check had all these questions about if she could do "pat-a-cake" and other activities I HAD NEVER DONE with her and kept thinking, "oh, should I be doing that with her?". :lol: I felt like I had neglected her. For about 2 minutes. Then I realized I'd just been doing different activities.

 

No worries. Just make sure dc can tie his shoes by the time he's 18yo and you've done your job! :D

 

And I disagree with PP: I think velcro shoe closures must have been designed by a mom who'd tied too many laces! Viva la velcro!

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My oldest could tie before this summer, but the rest had a crash course (except the youngest) when I found sneakers on clearance for $3 a pair. They all needed a new pair of play sneakers, and these were really cool camo. I sat everyone down, taught them to tie, and then refused to do it for them :D. Of course, the youngest may never learn since he has 4 shoe-tiers at his disposal.

Edited by JudoMom
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Why not take the time to teach him? If he doesn't get it, keep occasionally trying. I think we do have an obligation to try to teach these basic skills, but I agree that it's not a crisis if they don't get it. But I think kids do like being able to be independent so it's helpful for them to know.

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My oldest daughter whose about to turn 10, learned shoes in 2nd and still has trouble with her zippers! Yet like your son has an extraordinary ability to read or spell just about anything. Last yr I had her evaluated for everything & IQ tested. Come to find out all her quirks are due to being gifted. The doctor said gifted children excel academically and struggle with physical/coordination and socially. It's almost like they had to "trade" some "gifts" physically to be able to do all that mentally. Nothing in this life is free....I guess:) Just sounds like you have a gifted child on your hands.

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Ds 7 is just now getting how to tie shoes, but he's not really good at it. I learned at 7 too, which was considered late in my time and place, and my patents really tried to teach me too. I'm an only child :)

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I am 47 and can't tie my shoes, and I homeschool!

when I do it and double knot like I was shown (over and over)

they always come undone, my kids do my shoes everyday! ha ha

my dear hubby has been known to tie them numerous times. I have a hard time with the word numerous, but am thankful for instant spell check!

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I honestly believe that the person that invented velcro sneakers was a boy! :lol:

 

George de Mestral was a Swiss Electrical Engineer who is credited with the invention of Velcro, which happened in 1941. He came up with the idea after studying burrs that got caught on his dogs fur.

 

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTTsPX3D14KspluLYn07ak85bP7DPhVfSQh6eiYA8NZhUHIO7ZANw

 

Elias Howe, who invented the sewing machine, received a patent in 1851 for an "Automatic, Continuous Clothing Closure" (most commonly known as the zipper).

 

So yes, boys invented both velcro and zippers.

 

Oh, my 10yo, 9yo and 6yo boys still struggle with tying, while my 3yo girl has almost got it.

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I tried to teach dd7 when she was 4 and 5 and it was extremely frustrating for both of us. I gave up. Last spring her grandmother sent her some tie shoes(we had always used velcro) and she was so excited to get new shoes that I showed her once and then she had it. No practicing, no frustration...sometimes its better to wait.

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DD can tie, but not well. They always come untied. She's 6.5. She can do easy zippers, but not harder or small ones, like on jeans.

 

(Here's a much worse confession: She refused to wipe herself after pooping until a few months ago, when DH and I just started telling her we absolutely were not going to do it. She still spends about 5 to 10 minutes yelling for us to *please* do it for her every time she poops. Sometimes she even cries, but goshdarnit, I am NOT wiping her butt for her one more time!)

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My 2nd grader still can't button/snap her pants. She couldn't tie her shoes or fasten her seatbelt until years after her peers. I finally got her to tie her shoes by bribing her with chocolate chips and giving her half an hour to get her shoes on. She's only about 50/50 when it somes to zipping and unzipping her jacket.

Edited by Kuovonne
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Join the club. My 6 yr old requested a pair of those ridiculously gaudy sketchers for Christmas-and has been in tears every time she's gone to put them on because "I can't tie shoes yet!". It doesn't help to try to show her, because she's so upset about not being able to do it that she seems unable to learn.

 

Sigh...

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If it makes you feel any better, my 4th grader is reading on a 9th grade level, and didn't learn to tie his shoes until this year. He has always had the velcro or slip on type shoes, and I just never thought about it.

 

It is a joke in our family, but I honestly almost got held back in Kindergarten, because I could not tie my shoes.

 

Krista

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