Okay moms of older teens, how do you wait calmly for their curfew hour?

[lynn]

Both my boys are at the high school football game. My ds cell phone died and the other did not bring his phone:001_huh:. So here I am waiting, watching the minutes tic by. It has nothing to do with trust it has to do with me being a high anxiety mother thinking, what if something happened. I know they are having fun with their friends and I have to get use to them being gone but I like everyone safe and sound at home. How long until you get use to it? The kids being old enough to be out without your imagination going wild?

[Miss Marple]

How long until you get use to it? The kids being old enough to be out without your imagination going wild?

 

When you find out, please let me know:tongue_smilie:

 

I'm finding that I don't worry as much about Ds#1 (junior in college). However he usually calls/or texts me before he goes to bed (which is usually *after* I've gone to bed). This is sorta my indication that he is at the apartment and OK. But recently he hasn't been doing it every night - and I haven't really noticed. But my other teen boys are beginning to get more mobile and social which means a whole new batch of worrying.

[Karen in CO]

Put on a movie that won't end until after the curfew. Its hard.

[Gwenhwyfar]

mine aren't as old as yours yet, but i do understand because dd13 has more freedom now than she used to - but when she forgets her phone (or just doesn't hear it bleep when i text her grrr) i get worried too. :grouphug:

[LibraryLover]

My 16 yr old just came in at 11. He does not have a curfew, as he has never come home late or left us wondering. I knew exactly where he was and he had his phone; he knows he has to have it on his person when he is out. As for tongiht, I had the parents home # on my cell. Sometime it's best to get ont he computer and come here. ;) Yk, just to pass the time. :)

Edited September 11, 2010 by LibraryLover

[AngelaNYC]

I can't stand it either. I made a point to get a few of her friends' phone numbers to call if dd's phone dies. I know her best friends (and their parents). I never call unless I can't reach her and I'm worried. Not sure this works with sons' friends, though, lol. I also tell dd (and younger 14y/o dd) to call me at least once from a friend's phone so I know you're ok. They're usually pretty good with that.

 

But, yeah. The waiting up thing sucks. My imagination goes wild, too.

[Barb_]

It's impossible. When my college-aged daughter comes home I worry even though I know she is out at all hours back at school. On the other hand, she fell asleep at the wheel and caused a roll-over accident last fall, so I suppose the worry is justified. They're just confident enough to be incredibly dangerous.

 

Barb

[specialmama]

I'm 36 and my mom still has me call her when my flight lands. I don't think it goes away. I think it's part of parenthood for some parents.

[justasque]

I'm 36 and my mom still has me call her when my flight lands. I don't think it goes away. I think it's part of parenthood for some parents.

 

I'm *ahem* a tad older than 36, and my mom does the same thing. Whatever did parents do before cell phones?!

[LibraryLover]

Oh. The oldest? I just pretend he's home at all times. ;) He's so far away. I try not to let my mind wander.

[Cindy in the NH Woods]

I understand!

 

I was just commenting to my husband this evening about how calming it felt to have all of the chicks in and settled in the nest. Sigh...

[Cedarmom]

So nice to know I have company with other anxious moms! I have no real reason to worry, but I am always glad when he comes home safe.

[Mrs Mungo]

I'm not sure if this will make you feel better or worse. But, when I flew back to Hawaii after being home? I had like 25 texts from my parents when I got here seeing if I had made it in yet. Parents always worry. :grouphug:

[Alenee]

I'm 36 and my mom still has me call her when my flight lands. I don't think it goes away. I think it's part of parenthood for some parents.

 

I don't have any of this experience with my own kids yet but the above quote is true of my mom as well. I'm assuming it doesn't ever really become *easy*.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I think I agree with everyone else's posts.

 

We don't do curfews (generally don't agree with them); but even when the kids run to the store or something, I get worried. But I just suck it up as I figure they need to run around with friends, other people, to the store, and a number of other such things.

 

BTW, I call my mom when I get home from visiting her. We chat a couple times per week and we've both been known to get worried if we haven't heard from one another in awhile.

[Paz]

I don't know if I will ever get used to it. My ds is almost 21 and when he comes home from college for the weekend or a break I still don't sleep well if I know he is out. I have finally asked him to text me and let me know where he will end up for the evening. (He often stays at my parents when he is in town.) If he is out late I will text him before I go to sleep just to make sure he's o.k. Once he told me he had increased my annoyance factor by 99 % by teaching me to text. :lol: He is very polite and patient with me for the most part, though.

[Joyofsixreboot]

I have just decided my worrying or not won't alter time and space. Fatalistic I know but has saved my sanity. I do like them to have their phone but we don't make them check in or call them. Maybe it helps that my own parents never checked up on me or had me call? Come here or get absorbed in something else, it'll help.

[Chris in VA]

If I spent my energy worrying, I wouldn't have energy for anything else. Ds has used up all his Worrying Points from me, so I put him in God's hands, and go to bed.

If I don't see his car in the driveway in the am, THEN I worry--and take action. It's happened before, and it is an awful feeling. But until then, I just give him up to the Lord.

[parias1126]

The only day my DD17 goes out is on Saturdays with her boyfriend. She is usually gone all day because this is their "special" day together. I would probably be flipping out if she wasn't answering her cell phone. I don't know how I would deal with it because I am a worrier too. Luckily, she usually hangs out at home and her friends come to my house. On Saturday, her curfew is 8 pm. She only goes to the mall with a girlfriend on a rare occasion.

[Remudamom]

Our triplets went to a local rodeo with no curfew. They were going to stay til the end, which would have been at least 1:00, but I realized I didn't want them to leave in the traffic mess, so they came home at midnight.

 

You always worry. It's your job, you're the mom.

[Susan in TX]

They will never be old enough that you will stop worrying about them. I have had to make a conscious decision to not worry. If I didn't I would be a total mess. There is just so much that can go wrong, and the more kids you have, the more you have to potentially worry about.

 

Susan in TX

[Gwenhwyfar]

The only day my DD17 goes out is on Saturdays with her boyfriend. She is usually gone all day because this is their "special" day together. I would probably be flipping out if she wasn't answering her cell phone. I don't know how I would deal with it because I am a worrier too. Luckily, she usually hangs out at home and her friends come to my house. On Saturday, her curfew is 8 pm. She only goes to the mall with a girlfriend on a rare occasion.

 

just curious - but why so early for a 17 year old?