Limiting toys (and books and DVDs) as part of simplified living

[Tardis Girl]

I just started a thread about simplified living in general, but am hoping for some specific ideas on all the kids' stuff. A part of me thinks they could be just as happy (or happier) with quite a bit less than what they have. Less is more, is what I'm thinking. My dh has suggested we get rid of almost everything and just keep (as an example) duplos/legos and something else. But don't keep duplos AND wooden blocks AND dishes AND play kitchen AND dress-up AND the fisher-price farm/people AND Build-a-Bear dress up clothes (for the bears) AND ... you get the point.

 

The problem is while a part of me agrees with this in theory, I'm afraid to do it. And I have emotional attachment to everything. And I can justify keeping everything -- I'm really good at that. lol And then of course there's the rationalization that this or that is "educational" and so of course we must keep it. And hence the clutter in my home. It's really not THAT bad, especially for 7 people, but I want so much more from life (and LESS clutter!).

 

It's not like the kids don't like the toys -- otherwise that would be easy. But they certainly don't need to own everything they like, I realize. I know it's probably not a good comparison, but I look at kids in days of old (like Little House, lol) and they were happy and grateful for the few (or one!) toy they had. And it was fine. We don't live in that day and age, but this seems excessive... and we're not even "that bad" compared to many I know.

 

Same thing goes for kids' books and DVDs.

 

Any ideas? My kids are 1, 4, 6, 15, 16.

Edited August 2, 2010 by StaceyZ

[ChristusG]

I completely agree. I know exactly where you are coming from. Here lately I go and stand in the playroom and think "Do they really need all of this?"

 

I've been looking for ways to simplify their toys. I told them the other day "Laura Ingalls had ONE doll....just one!" LOL.

 

I have went through the playroom and gotten rid of everything they do not play with. They have TONS of toys. I also got rid of everything they rarely play with. It still needs simplifying though. I mean, we have a bin of ponies, a bin of little people, one of build a bear clothes, one of Trio blocks, one of dishes, one of wooden people, one of dress up clothes, puzzles, Zhu Zhu pets, Playmobil. I mean, I don't know how to get rid of any more. They actually rotate and play with these things.

 

I think that what I'm going to do is just not buy a lot in the future. And as they outgrow these toys, we will get rid of them, and it will simplify. But as they get older, we will just purchase less. Although, that's a problem in itself because there are SOOOO many family members who love to buy them things. So I'm not sure how that's going to work.

[Mama Geek]

Have you considered getting rid of 2 things for every 1 thing that comes in?

[Hockey Mom]

Have you considered getting rid of 2 things for every 1 thing that comes in?

:iagree:

 

This is what we did, and it has worked wonderfully!

 

If it doesn't have its place, then its place is in the donation box or garbage.

[HappyatHome]

After you get rid of the toys they really don't play with much, how about rotating out the rest? Put up 3/4's of them - they won't have as many choices at one time. You have simplified without the final commitment.

[3lilreds in NC]

I am right with you - I would love to get rid of stuff, but find that I have an attachment to it. A lot of the toys the girls have from when they were little are things that *I* remember having, not necessarily things they loved. We have more Little People than a toy store, I think. I've tried downsizing those occasionally, but my dh says "But, they're LITTLE PEOPLE!" every time I try. :lol: (His mom saved every Little Person they ever had and still puts them away, color matching the people to the little cars, after kids play with them. I suppose he comes by it honestly.)

 

I am trying to start now - with child #3, approaching his 3rd birthday - to make changes. We have TOO MANY CARS (and trucks, and things that go) in this house, but he loves them all. I won't get rid of any yet, but I'm not buying more. I have a couple of small things for his birthday, and I'm knitting him an elephant, but that's it - he will have gifts from grandparents and we will have a little party for him and he will know he is so very special (although I think he's pretty clear on that already :D) but not a ton of stuff.

 

This is so hard for me. I am a gift giver, and a gift keeper. I like what ChristusG said - go through and get rid of everything they don't play with, get rid of things as they outgrow them, and bring less into the house.

 

If there is stuff you are having a hard time letting go, just pack it up and put it away somewhere for a while. If you're like me, you will find that when you take the immediacy of getting rid of something away, that little panicky feeling that starts up will pass and you will be able to look at getting rid of things more rationally.

 

Another thing that has been a real blessing to me is that almost always, when I'm faced with parting something dear to me that I just can't justify keeping, is that someone I love will need it. I've been able to give away baby things to family and friends, for example, and that's made it so much easier for me to let things go. Maybe you can keep an ear open for people who want/need something you have, with which you could bless them. Then you can still see it sometimes. :)

[MotherGoose]

I am with you on this. In May, we had renovations done that lasted longer than expected, and my dd4 could not go into her playroom for over a month. She had no play kitchen, dress up clothes, and I can't remember what else. Didnt' slow her down one bit. I got rid of some excesses (not as much as I'd like) and then put things I couldn't part with in the attic. So we rotate toys in and out. It's like new all over again. I need to be more firm with, if we take that out, we have to put this in the attic. It does cut down on the clutter, and then we aren't really getting rid of the grandparent's toys. I have also asked them to only get one toy per family, but that's not really working, but I'll continue with that. As for books, I get rid of the "twaddle" but otherwise I love books. As for DVDs, we don't have any. Maybe only rentals or library ones?

[Mama Geek]

My little girl is still really young at 6 weeks old, but my dh and I would both like her to be involved in the things that we are doing.

 

Some play time is good, but we want her to spend time with us doing things that are productive. I would hope that this would help us to keep the number of toys to a reasonable quantity.

 

A great example that we often discuss is having a garden. We can spend time working in the garden and she could help putting seeds in the ground or pulling weeds or any of a number of things. Her attention span won't be long to start and she would be welcome to play in the dirt after helping out for awhile, but we would be together and she would be learning that work can be enjoyable and rewarding.

[BikeBookBread]

Have you considered getting rid of 2 things for every 1 thing that comes in?

 

We did this for a season, when we were really overrun with stuff. It's a GREAT plan, especially when it came to stuffed animals in our case. Now the girls have a few favorites that they actually play with and have on display.

[CathyT]

I went to a friends house, a dear dear friend, and they have 6 kids and their playroom is a tiny area under the stairs in their living room. Very few toys can fit there but the kids get by happily and are so well rounded. There is a small basket of wooden vehicles, a few dress up clothes hanging on hooks, a basket of library books, a basket of homemade blocks, and some wooden romper stompers. Now they do have arts and craft items readily available and the whole outdoors. It is what I aspire to, but what do in reality is put most of the toys in the attic in boxes and my kids rotate their own toys on a daily or weekly basis. Two toys up for every toy down (though they get away with more going down, to be honest, at the moment.) I also get rid of toys as often as I can. It is a battle I think is worth going through...

[Sahamamama]

For us it's a matter of space -- small, two-bedroom bungalow with little storage space means we "keep it moving." We have one table for everything we do. We have one main living area (14 x 19), a galley kitchen, a small bathroom, and two small (11 x 11) bedrooms with one closet. Yup, it's tiny.

 

I feel like I'm decluttering all the time, but we do make our limited living space work for us quite well. The girls have plenty to play with, I only wish they had more space to spread out, KWIM? There is so little room to MOVE here, and this neighborhood is not the best for playing outside. They have no play room, so when they are done, they ALWAYS have to pick up and put away. They're in a good habit, but.... I sometimes wish they could keep some things set up and out a bit longer. But we couldn't walk through the house if they did that, so we put it away. Sigh.

Edited August 2, 2010 by Sahamamama

[Impish]

My problem is that with three kids, two close in age at home, they each play with something different.

 

Tazzie is into the Wii. Loves his VTech computer. Pretend sword fighting, battles, and puppet shows. Those are his 'big' things these days...oh, and his Hot Wheels track in his room.

 

Princess loves the Little People gear. All of it. And Duplo. And Barbies and babies, and stuffed animals. She plays for hours with this stuff.

 

Diva is all about books, and crafting. And her MP3 player. Plays Wii with her brother.

 

Both the Littles LOVE the dress up trunk. We just had three days that Princess insisted on wearing her Tinker Bell costume everywhere. 24/7. She would get out of bed and change into the costume after Wolf tucked her in.

 

So, trying to 'purge' anything around here is nigh to impossible. Even the armless, legless Barbies that the dog has chewed Princess plays with.

 

*sigh*

 

We've tucked some toys away (Playmobile) and others downstairs...but Princess seeks them out anyways. :lol:

[Tardis Girl]

For us it's a matter of space -- small, two-bedroom bungalow with little storage space means we "keep it moving." We have one table for everything we do. We have one main living area (14 x 19), a galley kitchen, a small bathroom, and two small (11 x 11) bedrooms with one closet. Yup, it's tiny.

 

Oh, this brings back memories!! A few years ago we lived in a house like this -- 850 sq ft or so for the 4 of us. Then we had a baby, then another. Finally we moved after much deliberation. Our only table was a folding table that we took out for a meal or for work/play, and folded up when not in use. When we moved to our current we were astounded at the space (relatively speaking)... but it is filled now. <sigh>

 

Yes, a part of me longs for simpler days, like when were newly married and had nothing and were so happy. lol Thanks for stirring up the memories! I hope this will inspire me.

[ChristusG]

I am currently trying something new though. At 6 and 3 years old, my girls can wreck the playroom in 30 minutes. And it takes an hour to clean it up. When things get to cluttered in there, they have trouble sorting things and cleaning it up.

 

So what I did was take everything that has lots of pieces (Playmobil, dress up bin, cars, animals, doll clothes, etc), put them into bins and put them into the closet. They must "check them out" with me if they want to play with them. They can have two things checked out at one time since sometimes they like to play with certain things together (such as Trio blocks and animals in order to make a zoo). If they want to take something else out, the first bin (or two) must be cleaned up and put away before they can "check out" another.

 

Bigger items that are easier to clean up, such as the dollhouse, Little People House, Little People airplane, Pooh Bears TreeHouse, etc are on the shelf. Those do not have to be checked out because they are simple to clean up.....just set it on the shelf.

 

Stuffed animals are in three (yes, three!) large bins in the corner. My girls LOVE LOVE LOVE stuffed animals, which is the only reason I allow them to keep so many. But these are easily tossed in a bin when finished with.

 

I'm hoping this will help me keep my sanity.

[Julie in AZ]

I agree with the others who suggest to get rid of old toys when new ones come in. We're big fans of the clear plastic bins here. Like a previous poster suggested, only one or two bins out at a time!

 

Also for holidays and birthdays, can you ask family for "experience" gifts? Tickets to a show, memberships to the zoo, etc.

[Mynyel]

I have a theory.

 

Put everything away where it belongs. If it doesn't get played with within a certain amount of time then it is expendable. They, more than likely, will never miss it. Even if they ask you can give a vague answer. That is what I do when the kids finally do ask about a toy that is gone.

 

You set that time frame but don't tell anyone what it is. Otherwise they will play with them just to keep them.

 

Another bit of advise? Take things away when no one is looking. If I didn't do that we would have double the amount of stuff we have.

 

I have done this twice in the last year and finally it isn't a 3 hour job to clean up...only 2 now! :D

[Mommyof4ks]

We kept some of each type of thing, so the kids get a variety of things to play with everyday. Who needs 12 toy plates when our family only has 5 people in it lol.

[ChrisOR]

I don't have any practical tips, but do have a "philosophical" tip that could be encouraging. Several years ago, our pastor read a survey that revealed that modern children have 500 toys apiece. Maybe that included every matchbox car and every American girl accessory; I don't know specifics.

 

Then, he read the results of a survey done in the 1940s and the average child then had ten toys. We asked my husband's parents, and his dad recalled very specifically his baseball glove and bat and his bicycle. He thought the survey was accurate.

 

One Christmas day, as we drove from our morning gift opening at our home to the afternoon gifts at the grandparents, we saw two children playing in the gutter with rocks. I do not believe these kids were impoverished so it struck us very funny that on Christmas of all days, kids can be happiest without toys.

[Tardis Girl]

If it doesn't get played with within a certain amount of time then it is expendable. <snip> You set that time frame but don't tell anyone what it is.

 

So how long, do you think?

[myfatherslily]

I don't have any practical tips, but do have a "philosophical" tip that could be encouraging. Several years ago, our pastor read a survey that revealed that modern children have 500 toys apiece. Maybe that included every matchbox car and every American girl accessory; I don't know specifics.

 

Then, he read the results of a survey done in the 1940s and the average child then had ten toys. We asked my husband's parents, and his dad recalled very specifically his baseball glove and bat and his bicycle. He thought the survey was accurate.

 

One Christmas day, as we drove from our morning gift opening at our home to the afternoon gifts at the grandparents, we saw two children playing in the gutter with rocks. I do not believe these kids were impoverished so it struck us very funny that on Christmas of all days, kids can be happiest without toys.

 

Goodness, that's so believable! I'm sure my kids have 500 toys if you count up all the little things! THERE ARE SO MANY STINKING LITTLE THINGS! :cursing:

 

I want to get rid of half the things that we own. My thought is that if I'm still overwhelmed by all the toys, then there are too many toys! If there are too many for the kids to clean up when everything gets dumped out, then there are too many!

 

But then we have a birthday or Christmas and I think of all these great things that I want to get them! Or I go to my parents' house where my mom has saved every wonderful thing from my own childhood and I want to bring it all home. Or I find some great "educational" thing on clearance at Marshall's and I just can't resist buying another puzzle.

 

I'm gonna ask my parents what toys they had in the 50's. Maybe we should do a WTM toy purge month! Christmas is coming, after all... :tongue_smilie:

[Stacia]

Well, one day when the dc were out all day w/ my parents, dh & I cleared a lot of stuff out of our playroom. I put everything I thought the kids hadn't played w/ recently into big, black contractor bags (you can't see through them & they're sturdy). I closed the bags, wrote the date on them, & put them in the garage. So far, the dc have not asked for one single item that went 'missing'. (Actually, dd did ask where one thing was.) I figure wait 3 months & then get rid of any of the items that haven't been missed...

[Mama2Boys]

I think you are on the right track. One day I put every toy that was on the floor in our bonus room after they had "picked up" and filled up a garbage bag full of toys. I put it in our garage and honestly they didn't miss one thing. Hugs.:001_smile: Funny, Just saw Stacia's post....great minds think alike I guess.

[Food4Thought]

I am currently trying something new though. At 6 and 3 years old, my girls can wreck the playroom in 30 minutes. And it takes an hour to clean it up. When things get to cluttered in there, they have trouble sorting things and cleaning it up.

 

So what I did was take everything that has lots of pieces (Playmobil, dress up bin, cars, animals, doll clothes, etc), put them into bins and put them into the closet. They must "check them out" with me if they want to play with them. They can have two things checked out at one time since sometimes they like to play with certain things together (such as Trio blocks and animals in order to make a zoo). If they want to take something else out, the first bin (or two) must be cleaned up and put away before they can "check out" another.

 

Bigger items that are easier to clean up, such as the dollhouse, Little People House, Little People airplane, Pooh Bears TreeHouse, etc are on the shelf. Those do not have to be checked out because they are simple to clean up.....just set it on the shelf.

 

Stuffed animals are in three (yes, three!) large bins in the corner. My girls LOVE LOVE LOVE stuffed animals, which is the only reason I allow them to keep so many. But these are easily tossed in a bin when finished with.

 

I'm hoping this will help me keep my sanity.

 

I like this. I'd love to know if it's working for you. I do have large sterilite bins for some groups of toys (legos, lincoln logs, knex) which they only take out at certain times... but the rest is just a huge mess all the time.

 

The saddest part about the clutter is how much *I* love Littlest Pet Shop and My Little Ponies. I think they are sooooo cute!! :001_wub: So I buy them for DD, and they end up in every room of the house.

 

I mentioned in another thread that I started a "store" for lost toys at night. My store basket is quite full of things the kids don't care enough about to buy back. So I think I'll be able to get rid of a bunch that way via goodwill. But DH's car collection & Lincoln Logs & all those other sets with a million pieces seem to be a lost cause.

Edited August 3, 2010 by Food4Thought

[kwickimom]

I havent read all the responses, but I have been working on this also. My 2 boys are 4 and 2 and have millions of the same types of toys and it drives me insane. Anyways, I couldnt just get rid of everhything all at once so I am using some baby steps.

 

First i sorted everything into bins by likeness. Then I halfed those. So I put all the hot wheels together and halfed them. The half I took out went right the yard sale pile.

 

then I bought plastic totes and I piled the bins in these and put them in the basement, leaving only about 5 different types of toys in the boys closet. The closet has a lock and they can only get a bin by asking me.

 

Right now i plan on rotating the bins in the basement with the ones in the closet every few weeks. I am going to try and get slowly get rid of the bins in the basement.

 

So far the system works great and there is WAY less mess. I am trying to get the boys to do more creative play and outside play

[Tardis Girl]

I went to a friends house, a dear dear friend, and they have 6 kids and their playroom is a tiny area under the stairs in their living room. Very few toys can fit there but the kids get by happily and are so well rounded. There is a small basket of wooden vehicles, a few dress up clothes hanging on hooks, a basket of library books, a basket of homemade blocks, and some wooden romper stompers. Now they do have arts and craft items readily available and the whole outdoors.

 

How old are her kids? Is this really everything they have for toys?? And what are wooden romper stompers? Does she rotate, or is this it?

 

I've done the rotating, etc. But they KNOW they can ask to rotate and the toys are still there, so I'm not sure that's helping with a simplified view of life, or with being grateful for less.

[Tap]

I went to a friends house, a dear dear friend, and they have 6 kids and their playroom is a tiny area under the stairs in their living room. Very few toys can fit there but the kids get by happily and are so well rounded. There is a small basket of wooden vehicles, a few dress up clothes hanging on hooks, a basket of library books, a basket of homemade blocks, and some wooden romper stompers. Now they do have arts and craft items readily available and the whole outdoors. It is what I aspire to, but what do in reality is put most of the toys in the attic in boxes and my kids rotate their own toys on a daily or weekly basis. Two toys up for every toy down (though they get away with more going down, to be honest, at the moment.) I also get rid of toys as often as I can. It is a battle I think is worth going through...

 

 

Yeah, but there is a major clue here why this is successful. They have each other to play with.

 

There are a lot of families like ours that has kids spread out, different sexes/interests so while they play together a bit, it isn't like having a bunch of kids that you always have someone to hang out with.

[Mynyel]

So how long, do you think?

 

Me? Hmmm It depends, sometimes it is a few weeks, sometimes a couple months. Depending on my attention span.

 

It has been more frequent lately. We tossed a few toys that ds2 hadn't played with in about 2 months. They were at the bottom of the toybox.

 

I purged about 2 or 3 weeks ago and I am set to purge again next week.

 

So I guess every month (maybe 2) or so (at least recently). Or if it has a nice thick layer of dust? Yup time to go.

[mhg]

Last NIGHT actually I purged my son's room (he just turned 4) and I got rid of 4 bins (each bin measures about 3" x 2" x 2") FULL of toys. I devoted a corner of his room to toys and my new theory is if it doesn't fit there (neatly/easily) then it goes. So....just his favorites stay. He plays with the same few stand-bys anyway. But..my son's never been into toys. We rarely buy him toys. He's so un-accumstomed to our buying him toys that last week when I took him to TOYS-R-US to us a gift certificate, he said he didn't want anything! We only buy him one toy at Christmas and on his bday (of course family gets him stuff), so he's never SHORT on toys, but ---- they can quickly over-take us. I've politely forbade (oxymoron?) family from getting him ANY toys (no matter how small) except at Christmas or bday. I don't want him growing up unappreciative.

[Catwoman]

The problem is while a part of me agrees with this in theory, I'm afraid to do it. And I have emotional attachment to everything. And I can justify keeping everything -- I'm really good at that. lol

 

I could have written your post.

 

I wish I had a great solution for you, but I get completely paralyzed every time I try to start getting rid of stuff. (Well, I can get rid of dh's stuff without a problem:rolleyes:, but ds's stuff and my stuff are another story...) Once I've actually gotten up my nerve and cleared things out, I'm fine with it, but it's so hard to get started!

 

I guess I'm just a sentimental fool.

 

Or maybe just a fool! ;)

 

I just thought I'd post and let you know you're not alone -- and of course, I'm going to follow this thread and keep reading everyone's great suggestions in the hope that some of them will work for me.

 

Thank you for starting this thread! :)

 

Cat

Edited August 3, 2010 by Catwoman

[mhg]

This idea may already be on here, but one great idea I got from someone as far as the emotional attachment issue is to take a photograph of it.

I created a SENTIMENTAL file on my snapfish account and if there's something I want to remember --- whether a fave toy or a piece of artwork I just photo it and will be able to look at a slideshow oneday. I keep a FEW of the arts and the few toys, but --- we can't keep them all (esp the larger toys), so this has helped me depart with the sentimental ones more easily.

[Jayne J]

Immediately get rid of things that they don't play with and you don't love.

Then pack up whatever *you* are especially attached to but the kids rarely play with and put it away for a few months. Right after Christmas (or whenever your dreaded orgy of gift giving comes) look at the stored toys. Imagine trying to put them back with the other toys, plus all the new ones. This should help you really limit the "keepers"

I have given myself one large bin per child for storing clothes, toys, and other momentos I can't part with and if a thing is worth taking up space in the bin to me, then I keep it. But I only get the one bin.

[sbgrace]

If you've got storage space splitting things into groups and rotating them might be nice. I don't have the space to do it with toys. But I do rotations with books and I love it. Less daily clutter, things that are out get used (read in this case), and rotating makes the "old" stuff seem new. Rotation day is so fun here.